Mutiny
by Truvoyal
Summary: Fourth in the series begun with Betrayal? and continued with Courtmartial and Separated. Kirk is reunited with his crew but has no memory of them. Can he still function as their leader in a bizarre mission to another galaxy? Rated T for violence.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Warning! This story is NOT canon. Please read author's profile before continuing, lest you be annoyed at this AU. Also, this is the fourth story in the series, and knowledge of the first three is assumed without summarizing here. Lastly, I am continuing the punctuation convention of using asterisks to denote mental conversations. Personal thoughts and dialog with God remain in italics.

Chapter 1

Kirk found himself in a room whose sole occupant was seated at a table in the center of the room. There had been no sensations he would have associated with dying, but perhaps the creature had been able to kill him painlessly. He looked down at himself, but could see no apparent change in his body. Seeking information, he stepped toward the seated figure. At his approach, the figure rose and stood facing him.

Kirk's first impression was that this was friend not foe, but he wasn't sure why he thought that. Tall and slender, he was basically humanoid in shape, with pointed ears. But the thing that shocked Kirk was the massive scar tissue where he would have expected eyes. This man could not see. Curbing his own need, Kirk instinctively sought to satisfy the other's unspoken need.

"Would you like to see me by touch?" he asked.

"I regret that I am still not fluent in Klingon."

"My apologies." Kirk reverted to Standard. "I have been thinking in Klingon for months." He repeated the question in Standard.

"I do not think you understand what you are suggesting."

"Possibly. Nevertheless, the offer stands."

"You are kind, but I will not take advantage of your ignorance. Please, sit down."

They sat.

"Then perhaps you can alleviate my ignorance by answering a few questions, starting with, am I dead or alive? Where am I? And who are you?" Kirk stopped with those three, even though his curiosity was prompting dozens more.

"You are definitely alive. I apologize for the deception, but it was necessary to give the Klingons a reason for your departure. Further explanation will have to wait until I am certain that you are who I believe you to be."

"But you don't want to touch me to find out?"

"I do, but what you mean by touch is not what I mean. I must also ascertain the state of your mind. Finally I must secure your agreement to participate in a mission which will be decidedly unpleasant, and from which survival is by no means guaranteed."

Kirk snorted, "Surely you're joking!"

"I assure you, it is not a joke."

"That is not the criteria I would use to judge a mission, and if you think you know who I am, you should know that. Furthermore, I have just come from circumstances which were anything but pleasant, and for months I have lived with the prospect of imminent death. Incidentally, am I to infer that if I refuse your mission, you will return me to Konti?"

"That would be difficult, but if you insist, yes."

"I cannot give you my agreement without more information. But let's come back to that. What do _you_ mean by touch? What do you want to know about the state of my mind? And how can I help you be certain of my identity?"

"Answer these questions, if you will. For how many nights did you hang by the neck in the corridor of an enemy vessel and discuss theology with a friend?"

"One." Kirk's attention was riveted.

"At the end of that night, what did that friend do?"

"He took thirty years of my memories."

"Would you still call him friend?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Would you submit to a similar violation of your mind by the same friend?"

"Yes, but you'll have a hard time convincing him to do it. It was bad enough the first time."

"I am now 99% certain of your identity. No one else would have answered these questions as you have. But I must still determine whether your mind has been further tampered with. I know of only one way to find out."

"If you have a mindsifter type of device, feel free; I have nothing to hide."

"This is more personal than a mindsifter. It is my mind directly probing yours. I believe I can do this without damaging your mind, but I cannot promise it won't be painful."

"What's a little pain between friends," Kirk murmured.

"You call me friend?"

"Any friend of Spock's is a friend of mine."

"If you are willing, please guide my hand to your face."

Kirk felt the slender fingers touch his face, and suddenly there was a presence in his mind. He reached out to welcome it and encountered a brick wall.

*I know it is not fair, but I must know you without letting you know me.*

*I don't mind. You're welcome to see whatever you like.*

The voice was hauntingly familiar, but Kirk didn't stop to analyze. He was too intrigued with the probing process. The probe covered every nook and cranny of Kirk's mind. It didn't hurt, though Kirk supposed it might if he had been trying to resist it. Finally, after skirting the edge of the aching void repeatedly, the probe stopped on the edge of the abyss.

*I must,* the voice said simply.

*Go ahead.* Kirk knew what he meant.

The probe plunged deeply into the hole half a dozen times. Kirk suffered the agony in silence, without even a mental scream. As Kirk welcomed the pain, he felt the presence embrace it as well. Suddenly the brick wall dissolved in a mist of tears.

*I am Spock!* the voice cried. *I did this to you!*

*Spock!* Kirk's voice was a cry of joy. *It's really you! I thought I'd never see you again - never have a chance to tell you how grateful I am for what you did. Because of you, I could face it without fear, knowing they could not get what wasn't there. Thank you, Spock.*

*There are consequences you do not yet know. We have much to discuss.*

Spock withdrew and Kirk just stared in amazement. Spock's form was so unlike what he had imagined, it would take some getting used to.

"Why-" Kirk stopped. "It's not important."

"Please ask. No question is frivolous."

"I wondered why you didn't just probe my mind to begin with. I would not have tried to stop you."

"I know. In our many years' association, you have never refused me entrance. On more than one occasion, you have been decidedly annoyed at my insistence on quoting the negative consequences. But mostly you have understood the reason I require informed consent. To do otherwise would be a misuse of power.

"I too have a question. I am somewhat surprised that you did not guess my identity."

Kirk laughed. "I was completely thrown off by your appearance. After you left, I had no memory of your form. I knew you could not be human. I imagined a very non-human shape. I am still adjusting to the fact that you have two arms and two legs, just like me."

"I am half human. Most consider me to be all Vulcan. You are one of a few who have understood my divided nature. But know this: no Vulcan would willingly do what I did to you."

"As I recall, you weren't very willing either. You mentioned other consequences."

"The mission I spoke of cannot succeed without your participation. That is the reason we retrieved you from the Klingons. An essential ingredient is the presence of three scars on your chest."

"I have lots of scars on my chest. Which ones are you talking about?"

"If you will remove your upper garments, I can verify that they are still visible."

"I'm not wearing any garments, upper or lower. Here, give me your hand."

Kirk guided Spock's hand to his chest, where Spock easily found the three long, thin scars he was looking for.

"That is good. Recreating these scars would have been exceedingly difficult. Unfortunately, you do not remember how you got those scars. Your lost memories make the odds of success rather low, although you are functioning a good deal better than I was afraid you might be.

"There is another aspect to the problem that I must tell you, but first a question. Have you accomplished the purpose for which you went to the Klingons, or will you wish to return?"

"I believed all along that my work there would end in death, and thanks to your snake monster, they think it did. Konti gave his life to the Lord several weeks ago; Koh became a Christian less than a week ago. So I was not entirely surprised to find that the day of my death had come. As to whether I should return, I would wait for God-ordained circumstances. If He orchestrates it, I would willingly return, but I would not try to engineer it."

"A wise answer. It makes what I have to say marginally easier. When I took your memories, I did not expect to see you again. Nevertheless, I did not destroy those memories. I have kept them locked deep inside my mind. It was my intention to keep them until I was certain of your death. I would then have taken them to Vulcan where they could be preserved." Spock paused, looking almost uncomfortable.

He subtly straightened his back and continued. "However, as time passed, I discovered an almost irresistible temptation to indulge myself by visiting your memories. Such tampering would have corrupted the original. I could not permit myself to do that, so I created a lock on those memories that cannot be broken without endangering my life.

"If my life were all that was at stake, I would gladly risk it in order to give you back your memories. Your life would also be at stake, but I can well imagine that you would choose to risk it in order to be whole again. But there is more at stake than our own lives. An entire civilization and many lives with it rest on the success of this mission.

"Therefore it is my recommendation that we attempt this mission without restoring your memories. If we survive it, I will journey with you to Vulcan, where there are those trained to help in such situations as this. But the decision is yours."

"I should imagine Starfleet has something to say about it," Kirk objected.

"All who join this mission do so as volunteers."

"So they don't expect any of us to survive it."

"Possibly, but the reason for volunteer status is because it is outside Federation jurisdiction."

"An espionage mission, then."

"No, it does not concern any known enemies. We are being asked to do this as a favor to potential allies."

"So it does carry the Starfleet stamp of approval."

"Yes, although because of its nature, the mission carries no specific orders or restrictions. All decisions must be made by you, and you alone. Starfleet has often relied on your judgment during crises where quick decisions must be made."

Kirk frowned. "Does Starfleet know I've lost thirty years of experience upon which that judgment was based?"

"No, they do not. I thought it inadvisable to advertise that what we had done was possible, especially since I don't know that it could be duplicated."

"Konti's superiors never did believe it, even after three rounds with the mindsifter. But let's come back to something else you said. If the decisions are all mine, that sounds like I'm in charge of this mission. I don't mind being in charge of myself, but I got the impression there were others as well."

"Six altogether, including myself, will be under your command."

"Including you?! But-" Kirk was speechless for a moment as he tried to assimilate this idea and why it felt wrong. "You take orders from me? But you have twice the mental capacity that I have. And I'm sure I felt as if we were equals."

"One of your great strengths as a leader is the ability to treat everyone under your command as an equal, while in no wise diminishing your authority or responsibility. I have willingly taken your orders for years. I can command when it is necessary, but I have long preferred the interaction that is possible when you command."

"You sound as though you would willingly continue that precedent in spite of my incapacity."

"It is absolutely essential that you command this mission regardless of your ability or lack of it. Without you, there will be no mission. But it may interest you to note that I have already secured a leave of absence in order to undertake this mission."

"So the need is great, or you wouldn't be asking. And even though the odds of success are low, they're greater than the odds of surviving an attempt to retrieve my memories."

There was silence between them for a long moment. _Six lives_, Kirk thought, _resting on Spock's opinion that I can do this._ It was like him not to count his own. Six lives against an entire civilization. There really was no question what he should do.

"Okay. Count me in. Apparently God isn't through with me yet. At least, I'm not likely to be bored."

"Thank you. I cannot guarantee you won't regret it, but I am grateful." He tilted his head upward. "First, we have agreement. Take us to _Enterprise_, if you would please."

"_Certainly. Arrival in approximately ten minutes. And may I also express my gratitude. Your willingness to attempt the impossible continues to astound me."_

"And who, may I ask, are you?" Kirk inquired politely.

_"I'm your snake monster."_ The voice chuckled before the speaker went dead.

"I'm glad he has a sense of humor."

"Indeed. It is his people we are going to help."

"What is _Enterprise_, and what happens when we get there?"

"It is a Federation vessel. We will be stopping there briefly to pick up the other five volunteers. Also, you have to pass a medical exam. The chief medical officer has the authority to declare you unfit to command this mission."

"Then we're sunk before we start!" Kirk protested.

"Not necessarily. He already knows of your memory loss. He also knows that since this is a volunteer mission, we can all choose to go anyway, regardless of his verdict. The medical exam is largely a formality that permits him to see you first. He is one of your closest friends, and he cares deeply."

"Do the volunteers know about my memory loss?"

"As yet, only Dr. McCoy knows."

"Then we don't leave _Enterprise_ until everyone understands the situation, and has an opportunity to back out."

"As you wish, Captain."

"You call me Captain?"

"Usually. When the conversation is very personal, I have addressed you as Jim. The others call you Captain, except for Dr. McCoy, who calls you Jim. You call him Bones, except in formal situations."

"How much do the others know about this mission? Have they been briefed?"

"Only in very general terms. It was unknown whether we could retrieve you, or what condition you would be in. They have agreed to come without knowing a great deal more than you do."

"You must be very persuasive."

"I do not believe so. Your decision was not based on my persuasion, nor were theirs. We all hold similar values, and our decisions are based on what we believe to be right, regardless of personal cost. You have personally exemplified that moral code for all the others for many years."

"Just how many years have I known these people?"

"The seven of us have worked together for most of the past twenty years."

"Twenty years! That seems like a long time for the typical Starfleet career path. Most people move from post to post much more frequently."

"We are not most people. Starfleet has permitted it because of the results we have achieved. No one set out to create this unique group, but we have functioned so well in crisis after crisis, that they cannot deny the value of our continued work together. We know each other so well that each knows what the others would do in any given situation."

"And I don't know any of them. I hardly know you!"

"You know what is most important - that I serve Jesus, just as you do; that I have been, and always will be, your friend; and that I will do what I have to, regardless of the cost to me, to you, or to our friendship."

Kirk was a little surprised at this transparently emotional summary, but instinctively sensed the truth of Spock's words. He also knew Spock wouldn't appreciate any effusive gratitude for being that open, so he tried to simply accept it and go on. "Yes, but how is it possible to lead such a group as you describe, when I no longer know any of you?"

"The same way you have always done - just be yourself."

First interrupted the conversation. _"Approaching _Enterprise_ now, Spock."_

Spock's communicator beeped.

_"_Enterprise_ to Spock. Come in please."_ The voice was female.

"Spock here, Commander. Phase I successfully completed. You may inform Dr. McCoy that his patient eagerly awaits him."

"_Ha! That'll be the day!_" She laughed. "_But I'll tell him. The rest of us are ready whenever you give the word._"

"Thank you, Commander. Spock out."

"I take it I have a reputation regarding medical exams," Kirk deduced.

"Indeed. A well-known reputation."

"Based on what?"

"You dislike being nagged to lose weight. You are frustrated that your body cannot do what it could thirty years ago. Lastly you dislike being fussed over. Your standard response to any injury, large or small, is to ignore it."

"Well, some things haven't changed."

"I suspect you will find that very little has changed. And what has changed will be due to things you have learned during your stay with the Klingons. Incidentally, a word of warning: Dr. McCoy is the best doctor in the Fleet, but he does like to fuss."

At that moment, McCoy materialized with black bag in hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Jim!" McCoy stepped forward eagerly, but faltered as Kirk stood and faced him. "I forgot Spock said you wouldn't know me."

Kirk grinned. "Well, I don't, but we've been expecting you, Doctor." Kirk spread out his arms in a welcoming gesture. "Feel free to fuss all you want, just so long as it doesn't take too long."

"Some things never change." McCoy smiled and the awkward moment was past. "At least, I don't have to tell you to take your clothes off. Spock, are you aware this boy is stark naked? No, sorry, you probably aren't."

"Actually, he did mention it, Doctor."

"How did you acquire such a set of muscles, Jim?"

"The hard way. Four hours a day plus steroids. Konti wanted me to look more like a Klingon, I think."

McCoy stepped closer. "Jim! Your back is a bloody mess! And the rest of your skin... It's literally covered with scars! What have they done to you?!"

"Bones, relax; I'm fine. They're only skin-deep, well, most of them. And the back will heal just as easily as it has before."

McCoy had his med-scanner out and was decidedly unhappy with the readings. "You may think you're fine, but this machine says otherwise. What did they do - pump you full of every drug known in the galaxy, and half starve you besides? I'd like to get my hands on the guy who did this." He'd stopped shouting, but was no less angry.

"His name's Koh, and I think you'd like him once you got to know him. He's very sincere, dedicated to his work; and he has gentle hands."

"You _like_ him?" McCoy was understandably appalled at the idea.

"Yes. I like Konti too, and I don't dislike Korn, though we haven't had much opportunity to talk." Kirk was trying to avoid getting defensive at the attack on his friends, but it wasn't easy.

"Who's Konti, and what's that on your forehead?"

"It's a brand of ownership. Konti owns me. At least he did until I was deceptively abducted." Kirk turned a mock glare on Spock, hoping the humor would diffuse McCoy's anger.

"I heard about that. Spock asked me what I thought you'd do, as if he didn't have a better idea than the rest of us anyway."

"I desired a second opinion," Spock interjected.

Kirk was much more comfortable with this thread of conversation. "And what did you decide I'd do?"

"Well, we started with the assumption that you'd be on your feet and functional. If not, all bets were off. Then Spock assured me you wouldn't recognize First. Spock decided it was too risky to try to tell you in advance what they planned. So the only question was how you would respond to the idea of dying by being eaten by a snake monster. First said he'd get you, even if you went kicking and screaming. I said you'd volunteer to be the one to die, that you'd try to bargain for the lives of those around you, and that you'd face it without fear. And I don't mean courage to face it in spite of fear; I mean, you really wouldn't be afraid. So how do I score?"

Kirk was astonished that McCoy had predicted his every move.

First spoke into the moment of silence. "_You're right on all counts except the volunteer. It looked to me as if he was volunteered, rather forcibly._"

Kirk tilted his head toward the ceiling speaker. "We had to make it look that way, for Konti's sake. Is the reason you helped us because Spock told you to?"

_"Not exactly. Spock insisted that we take you in public, so none of them would be blamed for your disappearance. But I did not know of the coward act until you told me. I helped because it's what you wanted. Though, I must admit I do not understand you any more now than the first time we met."_

"What about me don't you understand?"

_"You wanted them to think you a coward, but you did not fear any of it. Even when you thought I was about to eat you alive. You were completely relaxed from start to finish, even when I hurt you. You do not fear pain; you do not fear dying in agony; you fear nothing. I've never met anyone like you. There are many things I fear."_

"I doubt it's true that I fear nothing. But it's true I don't fear dying, or pain either. I guess it's because I've been living with it so constantly."

"Jim, you've never been afraid of pain." McCoy had been taking blood samples, studying readings, and giving injections. "Well, it doesn't look as if you're going to die today. Spock, how long did you say it was going to take to get there?"

"Approximately two weeks, Doctor."

"I'll have to monitor him daily, but I should be able to get most of this flushed out of his system by then. And his back'll bear watching. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about the muscle growth though. That'd take months. And I'm assuming you don't want me to do any cosmetic work on all the scars."

"That is correct. Thank you, Doctor. We are ready for the others then?"

"Clothes are going to be considerably uncomfortable, but the lack of them would be decidedly so for Uhura. So Jim, you're going to have to wear something, even if it's only a pair of shorts."

"I gather Uhura is female."

"Very."

"Am I entitled to wear a Starfleet uniform?"

"Of course."

"Then I will wear it. Comfort is irrelevant. It would be helpful if you can bandage the back well enough to avoid getting blood all over the uniform."

"That remark sounds like Spock. Has he been messing with your mind again?"

Kirk grinned. "I hardly think the term 'messing' would apply to anything Spock did."

"It was necessary to ascertain his condition as well as check for foreign tampering. I gather his body is not carrying any foreign devices either."

"No, at least not detectable ones."

"His mind is equally free of tampering."

McCoy ordered a complete set of clothing for Kirk, with appropriate size changes. He also had Chapel send him several medications and dietary supplements. As soon as Kirk was dressed, the others arrived en masse. Kirk was immediately overwhelmed with bear hugs, pats on the back, and ear-to-ear grins. They were all obviously delighted to see him.

"Thank you all. A warm welcome indeed. It is good to be here. Please, sit down everyone. We have much to discuss." Kirk remained standing while the others took seats around the table.

"We are gathered here for a volunteer mission, and I want to stress the word volunteer. The purpose of this briefing is to give you additional information with which to make an informed decision. We will not be departing the vicinity of _Enterprise_ until the close of this meeting. I have been informed by a reliable source that the odds of this mission being completed successfully are not high. Therefore it will in no wise reflect upon you or your record for choosing to opt out."

"Beggin' th' Cap'n's pard'n, but ye know none o' us will back out, so why no' git on wi' it?"

"I appreciate your sentiment, but I have an obligation to require informed consent, so please be patient."

"O' course, Cap'n." They all sat back to listen.

"As I presume you know, I have recently been in the hands of the Klingons. What you do not know is that we took rather drastic action to ensure that the Klingons would not have access to any of my knowledge about Starfleet. At my urgent request, Spock removed from my mind all memories between my first day at the Academy and the moment I boarded the Klingon vessel. This tactic was successful in what we intended it to accomplish.

"However, in the present situation, it poses a serious problem. I do not know any of you, nor remember any of the experiences we have shared over the years. Spock informs me that this mission cannot proceed unless I personally command it. He has not as yet explained why. I cannot hope to have the judgment that came from those years of experience, yet your lives may depend on critical decisions I must make. Furthermore, I cannot hope to function optimally as a key player on a team that I don't even remember being a part of.

"As yet I know nothing about this mission other than the fact that many lives are at stake. Oh, and I have met the snake monster, after a fashion."

Laughter emanated from the ceiling speakers. _"He has a legitimate reason for calling me that. Don't let it worry you. I'll explain later."_

"As you can tell, he's listening to this briefing. Before we get into the details of what this mission involves, I'd like to give you an opportunity to respond."

"Keptin, do I presume correctly that ve vould not be having this meeting if you had not already agreed to command this mission?"

"That is correct. I have agreed to do what I can for the sake of the lives at stake. It is responsibility for your lives that weighs heavily."

"Sir, I would like to hear Spock's opinion of your capacity to lead this mission, if you would permit." It was the short but slender Asian.

"Of course. Spock, brutal honesty, please. This is not the time or place for tact."

"I quite agree, Captain. Though the odds of success are low, they have been steadily rising since Captain Kirk came aboard. I have found his behavior to be reliably consistent with what any of us would recognize as normal for him. A few examples to illustrate the point:

"His first communication with me, not knowing who I was, or even whether he was alive, was: 'Would you like to see me by touch?' When I informed him that he did not understand what he was suggesting, his response was: 'Possibly, nonetheless, the offer stands.'

"Subsequently, still not knowing who I was, he freely allowed me to probe his mind, and accepted the pain I inflicted without thought of blame. He still does not know where he is, or where we are going. All he knows about _Enterprise_ is that it is a Federation vessel. He does not know your names or functions. Yet from the moment you arrived, he has been functioning as your Captain.

"I could give additional examples. The point is that in spite of missing memories, the essence of who he is remains unchanged. He is gifted as leader, and he functions in that gifting without effort.

"I also wish to point out that his mental capacity is unimpaired. There is nothing wrong with his thinking processes. He is merely missing thirty years worth of data. As regards the judgment issue, this mission is not one where prior knowledge of a known enemy is likely to be needed. Also, since he is aware of his deficiency, he will ask for advice if one or more of us are in a position to give it.

"Lastly, we will have approximately two weeks in which to reestablish the rapport and trust level that we have relied on heavily in the past. Not so long ago, Captain Kirk asked us to establish that trust with a complete stranger. It took us approximately two months. Captain Kirk is no stranger. Two weeks does not seem impossible."

The lady smiled. "Does that mean, Spock, that you think we can do this, and that the Captain can do what you need him to?"

"Yes, but I was prepared to attempt it even when it seemed impossible. And just because it seems less so at the moment does not mean we won't encounter insurmountable difficulties in the future."

"Right. Well, I haven't heard anything that makes me vote 'no'."

The others all expressed similar sentiments.

Kirk spread his hands. "I am overwhelmed by your confidence. I wish I felt it deserved. But I'm beginning to get a glimpse of what makes this group special, and I'm honored. Spock, can you give us a brief overview of what this mission is about?"

"At this time, I would prefer to say only that we will be traveling to First's galaxy in his vessel. When we arrive, we will have a plan formulated which will hope to save his people and their civilization. I have discussed basic elements of that plan with First. I would prefer that you hear details regarding the problem directly from him."

"Did you say his galaxy? And we're going to get there in two weeks? Does Starfleet know anything about his technology?"

"R and D has been developing a prototype for the last year. There are a number of difficulties." He paused.

"You're right. I don't really want the technical explanation. Well, if no one has any objections, I believe we are ready to depart."

"Sir, tisn't really an objection, but I'd like ta check on th' food replicator and one or two other things."

"Certainly. How much time do you need?"

"An hour should do it, Cap'n."

"Anybody else?" Silence. "All right. Let me know when you're ready. Meeting dismissed."

Kirk sat down and watched them disperse. They moved like a well-oiled machine. The Scot was clearly in charge, but everybody helped, including Spock. From the way he moved, Kirk would never have guessed that he was blind. Kirk liked the atmosphere they generated too. No sense of impending doom. Quiet competence mixed with cheerful cooperation and a fair amount of teasing.

McCoy sat watching Kirk. After a few minutes, he came over and sat next to him.

"Well, what do you think now?"

"They seem so - happy."

"They are. Jim, none of us thought we'd ever see you again. The fact that you've lost your memory is a minor inconvenience, a temporary aberration. As far as they're concerned, this is a vacation. And don't think they're naïve. They probably have a better idea what we're facing than you do. But they'd rather face a crisis with this group of teammates than do almost anything else."

McCoy cleared his throat. "Jim, it's part of my job to see to the well-being of the Captain. As part of that job, I will be asking you lots of probing questions. It'll make my job easier if you answer them as honestly as you can."

"Why wouldn't I? What do you want to know?"

"I can think of several reasons, one of which is the Klingons. I don't imagine they cared how you felt. It would be normal for you to have developed protective defenses that would continue to operate after you were removed from that environment."

"Actually, they did care." Kirk didn't want to get into a defense of his friends, so he didn't elaborate. "Anyway, you want to know how I feel? Overwhelmed, to say the least; anything but confident; a little bewildered by the suddenness of a change I wasn't expecting; a tad useless too. Every one of you is more competent than I am."

"Well, that's certainly honest enough. But I'd be more worried if you were full of confidence." McCoy looked thoughtful.

"So you don't think I can do this?"

"I didn't say that. I think it will be difficult, possibly more so than Spock realizes. He has a tendency to think that because he can do something, so can you. And because you have so often come through in the past with the nearly impossible, he forgets that you're human. On the other hand, he knows you better than anyone else in the universe, except God. And everything he said about you is true. And you adjust to new situations faster than anyone I've ever met. So why am I worried? Because it's my job to be worried. Anyway, if it gets too overwhelming, I'm a listening ear, any time."

"Thanks, Bones, I'll remember that."

Kirk spent the next half hour wandering around watching the work. In addition to the food replicator and the sanitation unit, they were constructing some apparatus in a corner of the room. Spock and the Scotsman seemed to be arguing over whether it would work or not. Beyond gathering that the apparatus was a transporter of some kind, Kirk could not follow the technical conversation.

He was surprised that anyone would argue with Spock, but Spock did not appear to think it unusual. Furthermore, throughout the conversation, Spock was helping to build the apparatus. And he _was_ helping, apparently unhindered by lack of sight. They had the unit built and tested in less than half an hour. Then the two of them, along with a pile of equipment, disappeared. Kirk gathered that the snake monster was helping.

'First', Spock had called him. What an odd name. _Well, you better get used to it_, he told himself, _and quit thinking of him as a snake monster._ Once or twice as a joke was one thing. But no sentient being wants to be thought of as a monster. If his name was First, that implied there were more of them. Kirk wondered how many of First's people were on this ship, and how soon he would get to meet them.

Wandering around the room, he observed that there were seven built-in beds, and seven chairs around the table. It was almost as if the place had been designed specifically for them. Another oddity.

The lady seemed to have finished her work. What had Dr. McCoy said her name was? Nothing ordinary, he was sure. Not sure if casual conversation would be welcomed, Kirk left her alone and returned to his chair.

Suddenly he was tired, very tired. He wondered why, then remembered how little sleep he'd been subsisting on lately. Maybe if he just rested his eyes for a few minutes-

McCoy jumped when Kirk landed on the floor, but Kirk did not wake up. Uhura and Sulu came running. Chekov was still working on the sanitation unit.

"Sulu, help me get him in bed, would you? He's just exhausted."

Spock and Scotty returned shortly after they had Kirk put to bed.

McCoy stood guard. "Spock, you will not wake him up. Doctor's orders. There's nobody on _Enterprise_ he needs to say goodbye to anyway."

"Very well, Doctor." He flipped open his communicator. "Spock to _Enterprise_."

"Enterprise_, Young here._"

"Captain, we are ready for departure."

"_Bring him back, Spock. Bring all of you back._"

"I shall endeavor to do so."

"_Bon voyaje, Spock. God goes with you. I shall continue to pray._"

"Thank you, Captain. I am grateful. God willing, we shall return."

"_Amen. Josh out._"

Spock sighed. The price of having friends was that goodbyes hurt.

"First, we are clear for departure. At your convenience. I'll talk with you again in three days."

"_Good. I hope your transporter works. First out._"

"Well, Mr. Spock, there's no time like the present to settle our little disagreement, wouldn't you say?"

"Of course, Mr. Scott. If you are wrong, we are confined to this room as long as the ship is in motion."

But Scotty was right. The transporter worked. Within two hours, they had the whole system rigged. Self-operated, the system had separate pads for in and out of each of three destinations: their quarters, the holodeck, and Third's room. The elevator to First's room was closed because First was sleeping for three days.

Third's room was still equipped as they had left it two years previously. Seven reclining chairs lined the wall. That had been Sulu's idea. He was tired of sitting on the floor all the time. Several desks with chairs were scattered over the central part of the room, and Spock's computer was prominent among them.

Spock and Scotty spent the next four hours programming the holodeck to Spock's specifications. Then Spock spent the next two hours closeted with McCoy. Neither would say what they had discussed, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they talked about Jim Kirk. Kirk slept for twelve hours. The others rested as much as they could, knowing there would be work to do as soon as Kirk woke up.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kirk woke up rested. Something was odd, but it took him a moment to place it. No pain! Except residual from the whipping. He had a momentary flashback to the morning after he had died. He was lying on a bed, not hanging from the straps. And he was covered, felt comfortable. Had he finally lost touch with reality? Was his mind imagining its own reality? Had God done something about his circumstances again?

He began reaching out for some external input. Felt the restriction of bandages on his back. Bandages? Koh didn't ever use them. His eyes popped open, and memory of the previous day's events returned. He carefully turned over and stretched luxuriously. It appeared that he was in one of the beds, but he had no memory of getting there. Nor did he remember removing his uniform, but someone had, because he was clearly not wearing anything.

He sat up and looked around. No clothes in sight. Having no idea where the lady might be, Kirk contemplated trying to wrap up in the blanket. A voice from across the room startled him.

"Look in the drawers under the bed."

He wasn't sure who spoke, but the information was accurate. He found the drawers contained everything he was looking for. By the time he was dressed, everyone else was up too.

The lady set before him a sumptuous breakfast, but he ate sparingly, knowing his stomach was not used to this. The orange juice, the banana, and one of the pancakes were enough to fill him. And he ate slowly. Everyone else finished first, but no one commented, except to notice that he turned down the coffee.

"I haven't had any in so long, I won't miss it." Kirk grinned. "Besides it seems prudent to let my system adjust to other changes before adding that particular vice."

"I agree," put in McCoy. "Which reminds me, medical exam every morning right after breakfast. This way, please."

"Of course, Doctor. We aim to please."

They disappeared into the bathroom, and Spock immediately convened a briefing.

"Since First will be sleeping for the next two and a half days, our focus during this time will be on building the trust level between ourselves and Captain Kirk. For reasons I do not have time to explain, I would prefer to tell him as little as possible about why we are doing what we do. So other than when he is closeted with Dr. McCoy, there will be no such explanations as this.

"Throughout our activities and discussions, I urge you to be as transparent as possible. We may well find ourselves trying to put into words things that, in the past, we have all understood without needing to verbalize. Also, because the trust level we have was created through shared crisis experiences, I will attempt to create artificial crises."

"Like lions, bears, and dinosaurs?" Sulu inquired, making a reference to the first time they'd been together in First's vessel.

"No. It is not my intention to endanger anyone's life. That does not mean you will be comfortable. There will be no rest breaks for the next 48 hours. Captain Kirk needs to see how we function under conditions of stress and fatigue. Any other questions?"

"Do we get food or vater?"

"Yes. We will return here occasionally. Most of our activities will be held on the holodeck."

At that moment Kirk and McCoy emerged from the bathroom.

"Captain, we are at your service. I imagine you have many questions."

"Well, yes. For starters, I'd like to get everyone's name and primary function."

As introductions proceeded around the circle, Kirk listened intently. When they were finished, he quizzed himself, and got it word perfect the first time. No one was surprised except himself.

"Okay. Well, I'll try to remember your names at least. My next question is: how soon can I talk to First about this mission?"

"First will be unavailable for approximately 58.7 hours. He is sleeping."

"Approximately 58.7 hours?" Kirk grinned.

"Yes, sir. I try to give precise data when feasible." Spock kept a straight face.

The room erupted in laughter. Spock cocked his head to one side, as if puzzled by this response. This elicited more laughter. Kirk watched Spock carefully, and thought he detected a brief sense of satisfaction in Spock's body language. Was he imagining it, or did Spock do that on purpose?

"Captain?"

The room had fallen silent, and they were all looking at him.

"I'm sorry. Spock, you said yesterday that no question was frivolous. Does that invitation extend to this setting as well?"

"Yes, definitely. There are very few secrets among us."

"I don't exactly know how to ask this question. You do not appear to be offended by the laughter. On the contrary, I'm probably imagining it, but- did you do that on purpose?"

"What makes you think so?"

"Well," _open mouth, insert foot_, thought Kirk, and plunged ahead anyway. "As the laughter was dying down, I thought I saw a sense of satisfaction, very briefly, as if you had achieved your goal. I can't even tell you what exactly I saw, but that was the message I got. I know it sounds crazy, so I won't be offended if you tell me I'm wrong."

"Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!" breathed McCoy. "Spock, do you realize what this means?"

"Yes, Doctor, I believe I do. Would you care to enlighten the Captain?"

"It means you can still read Spock like an open book. We assumed that ability had evaporated along with the lost memories. But apparently you can still read him, without knowing how you're doing it."

Kirk still looked puzzled.

"It's like this. To the rest of us, Spock is always reserved and self-contained. We can never tell what he's thinking, and most assume he has no feelings because they never see them. You, on the other hand, can see minute changes in body language and translate them into meaningful messages."

"So I'm right? He did do it on purpose?"

"Yes, and everyone else knows it, but there's only one way you could have known. It's an old joke, and the only reason it was funny was because of your reaction."

"So you were really laughing at me."

"Well, yes, partly. Does that bother you?"

"No. I'm just trying to understand. So if everybody knew he did it on purpose, what was the point?"

"Lately he's been using it as a stress indicator, because he can't see the body language. But the tradition is much older. This group has used laughter as a stress reducer for years. We laugh at ourselves and each other regularly. Unmerciful teasing is accepted as normal. There's no malice in it, but you better have a thick skin, because you yourself get triple the dose anyone else does, except maybe Spock."

"I love it!" Kirk exclaimed. "An unwritten rule that it's okay to tease the Captain. That's marvelous!"

"I'm not surprised you think so, because you started it. You'd been working at it diligently for several years, but they just wouldn't. The Captain was the Captain, and it just wasn't acceptable. Finally you came to me one night in utter frustration. I said that if you gave Spock enough clues, he'd get the message. So for the next month, you teased him relentlessly. He just endured it in stoic silence. I almost regretted having said anything, and everybody on the Bridge was getting pretty uncomfortable. But you wouldn't give up. No surprise there.

"I'll never forget the day Spock first teased you back. I don't even remember what it was about, but the reaction was classic. You never saw so many dropped jaws. Spock had never done anything like that, and no one, except me, had ever done it to you. The silence was absolute while they waited for your reaction.

"You just sat there, amazed that Spock had finally done it. Then you burst out laughing for joy. I don't remember what happened after that, but that day was the breakthrough. By the next year, the atmosphere on the Bridge was night and day different. So you were right; it worked, and we've never been sorry."

"Thank you for the explanation." He looked around at all the eager faces and tried to concentrate. "Back to the original question. If First is unavailable for the next couple of days, do any of you have any suggestions for how we ought to spend the intervening time?"

"Eat." "Sleep." "Play cards?"

"Ve could go on a safari."

"No lions, Chekov," was Uhura's response.

"Beggin' th' Cap'n's pardon, but if'n ye want a serious answer, ye'd best ask Spock. Th' rest o' this crowd," and he mock-glared at Sulu and Chekov, "is a bunch o' clowns."

"I recommend, Captain, that you spend this time getting reacquainted with your crew. In consultation with Dr. McCoy, I have prepared a program of activities designed to achieve that goal, should you desire to utilize it."

"An excellent suggestion. Please proceed."

"Very well. To the holodeck then. You first, Captain."

Kirk stepped fearlessly onto the pad, pressed the button and disappeared. As the others went through one at a time, McCoy muttered to Spock.

"How much transporter experience has he had lately?"

Sulu heard and quipped, "Since when does that matter?"

"I believe that he knows what it is, Doctor."

They assembled on the holodeck, which was currently in the appearance of a gym. Spock's first activity was a simple ball-throwing exercise. After ten minutes, Kirk was bored and started adding variations. They all followed his lead, without comment or discussion. When he turned it into a game of keep-away, they had no problem with ganging up on one of their number, even if it was Spock or himself. When tackle football threatened to degenerate into free-for-all unarmed combat, Spock called a halt. They all sprawled on the floor, hot and sweaty, but cheerful. These people were very comfortable with each other.

Spock proceeded to quiz him on what he had learned of them. Prompted by Spock's probing questions, Kirk found himself giving very blunt answers. But no one was offended; instead, they chuckled at themselves, even laughed openly at each other. And they seemed pleased at his perception, and not at all surprised at his frankness. Ordinary social conventions, tact, and white lies were not the way this group operated. He was reminded of the absolute honesty of Koh's lab, and wondered if he had learned it from these people.

Spock's next exercise involved a blindfold. He took it out and gave it to Kirk, telling him he could do what he liked with it. There were no further instructions. Kirk immediately put it on himself, and began to test his ability to identify each of them. Initially by sound, then by touch, smell, and various behaviors.

Kirk then asked if the holodeck could produce mazes and obstacle courses. Spock replied that several had been already programmed. Kirk proceeded to ask each of them to lead him through a different obstacle course - including Spock. An uneasy silence followed this request.

"What's the matter? Is this not something I would have done?"

"Well," drawled McCoy, "actually it probably is. I guess we're all suddenly remembering that Spock-" Pause. "And wondering if you've forgotten-" He stopped.

"Bones, is this a taboo subject? If so, I'm sorry. I'd gotten the impression there weren't any such."

"No, it's not taboo, just uncomfortable. And I'm the one who should apologize. Spock prefers that we ignore it."

"That's what I was doing - ignoring it."

"Yes, but- if you can't see, and he can't see-"

"It's a recipe for disaster, sir," Scott put in.

"You think so? I don't. It's not as if any of these obstacles were life-threatening. But I get the impression you don't think he can do it. Spock, you haven't said a word. What about it? Can you do this?"

"Under what parameters?"

"Your choice, same as the others."

"Mr. Scott has prepared several programs whose configuration I do not know. Do you desire one of these, or one of those which I wrote?"

"Which would you choose?"

"One of Mr. Scott's programs would undoubtedly be more interesting."

"And fun. But you still haven't answered the question. Can you do this? And, are you willing?"

"Yes."

After an initial gasp at the complexity of Scotty's program, the others sat down to watch. Chekov and Sulu sat together.

"It's vay past lunch time," Chekov whispered. "Didn't Spock say ve could eat?"

"Yeah, but the Captain's oblivious to food. I bet they won't mention it til Dr. McCoy decides we're dying."

"Vonderful! Yust vonderful!"

Spock and Kirk were completely absorbed for over an hour. During that time, Spock taught Kirk how to follow him by the sound of his footsteps, as well as how to sense the obstacles for himself. Finally satisfied, Kirk turned back to the group, and proceeded to put each of them in turn through the same routine he had put himself through. It took four hours. He discovered they were all quite willing, and seemed comfortable with the idea, although none were nearly as good at it as Spock and himself. Just as he was about to inquire of McCoy why this should be so, Bones startled him with his own question.

"Jim, are you hungry?"

"I don't know. Does it matter?"

"You don't know? Why not?"

"I've trained myself not to think about food."

"Trained yourself not to- Jim, it's been ten hours."

"I seldom got more than one meal a day."

"Well, that's going to have to change. Doctor's orders."

"Why didn't you say something before? In fact," he looked around at all of them. "Why didn't anybody say anything? You were waiting for me to declare a meal break. Surely, it's not against regulations to point out how many hours it's been?"

A brief silence.

"Sir," it was Uhura, "we thought Spock wanted you to find out how we function when we're hungry."

"Spock, is that true?"

"Yes, Captain, I would have let it go another four hours. Obviously the good doctor thought you should eat now."

During their supper break, several of them shared with Kirk the story of their encounter with the phenomenon that had blinded so many and taken Spock's eyes. Again Kirk was the last to finish eating, though he ate less than anyone else.

"Okay, Spock, what do we do now?"

"Tell me what you have learned of us."

So Kirk reported his impressions, again very honestly. Then Spock announced the next exercise.

"We will not be returning here for the next 36 hours. Please outfit yourselves with sufficient food, water, and equipment for standard field assignment." Spock said nothing more.

Within a few minutes, they had gathered once more on the holodeck. The gym was gone. In its place was an artificially made corridor of standard size for humanoids. Well-lit, it could have been an office building or starbase, except for the absence of doors. There were no apparent breaks in the walls. Kirk looked briefly at Spock, who said nothing. Hesitating no longer, Kirk strode briskly down the corridor, with the others following.

Fifteen minutes and half a dozen turns later, Kirk was becoming convinced they were in a maze. But there had been no choices, only the one convoluted path. Suddenly ahead on the left wall, he saw an indentation about three feet wide and four feet tall. As he got closer, embossed lettering became discernible. But it wasn't any language Kirk recognized.

"Oh! It's Vulcan, Captain," Uhura reported.

"No surprise there. Spock wrote the program, lassie," Scotty informed them.

"Vhat does it say?" Chekov wanted to know.

At a nod from Kirk, she translated aloud.

"Greetings. Since I wrote the program, I will not speak until we are finished. Indeed, the program will be complete only at my word. You are not expected to enjoy the trip. You will survive it. At each station you will receive information and instructions, not always as obvious as this. In addition, at the first six stations, each of your crew will receive a holographic injury, starting with myself."

As Uhura finished reading, Spock stepped forward and pressed a small button which had gone unnoticed until then. Immediately a shaft of light fell on Spock, who stood motionless. Nor did he stagger when the light disappeared, releasing him from immobility. McCoy immediately took out his scanner.

"Spock! Was this really necessary?"

Spock did not reply.

"What's a holographic injury?" Kirk wanted to know.

"It's one you don't really have, but all your senses are telling you that you do, so it might as well be real. Biggest advantage is faster recovery time. But it can be dangerous, and the last I heard, this holodeck had no safety features."

"It does now, Doctor. That was one of the first things we did," offered Scotty.

"So what injury does Spock have?" Kirk could see no visible damage.

"Broken arm. Which doesn't sound bad, except it's a double forearm fracture, and I've no adequate way to immobilize the arm. So every step he takes will be in agony. Well, Spock, that's the best I can do." McCoy had worked efficiently while he talked.

Spock nodded acknowledgment, and turned to face Kirk's scrutiny. His body language conveyed a calm acceptance of the situation, including his injury, his silence, and Kirk's inevitable anger.

"Why?!" It was more a protest than a demand for an explanation.

Nonetheless, Scotty tried to answer, because everybody knew Spock wouldn't.

"Cap'n, it's because ye need ta see us in action. Games 're fun, but the rapport we have was built on shared crises. This is just an artificially created one. Dinna worry none, Cap'n. We'll be fine."

Kirk turned to McCoy. "Did you okay this?"

McCoy grinned sheepishly. "In principle, yes. The reality is a little hard to take. But Spock is very careful, and if he says we'll survive it, you can count on it. So Captain, I withdraw the complaint."

Kirk looked at each of them in silence, then turned on his heel and strode down the corridor. They followed in his wake, talking quietly. But Kirk did not hear them. He was thinking of Konti and Koh, and how very much like them these people were. Recognizing how odd it would seem to them, Kirk acknowledged to himself that he was homesick for his Klingon friends. Sighing, he put it behind him.

It took them two hours to reach all six stations. Each message was in a different language, but Uhura had no trouble translating them. Each in turn stepped forward and pressed the button to receive his injury. No hesitation, no anger. Their trust in Spock was rock-solid, unmoved by the present circumstances.

McCoy's injury followed Spock's, and it was also a broken arm, though not as bad a break as Spock's. Between them, they now had Spock's left hand and McCoy's right hand. To Kirk's amazement, Spock ably assisted McCoy in patching up the other injuries which followed.

Scotty's was much more serious by comparison. He became a stretcher case, with a head injury, a shoulder wound, and a nasty gash in his thigh. But he was quite cheerful about it, and apologized to Sulu and Chekov, who became stretcher bearers.

Sulu was next, and he was struck with deafness. He claimed that didn't hinder his ability to carry Scotty. Kirk overruled him and took over his stretcher-carrying duty. Telling Uhura she had about fifteen minutes to work out a way to communicate with Sulu, he led them to the next station.

By the time they arrived, Uhura and Sulu had worked out the basics of simple communication by gestures. Just as well, because Uhura was next. She was struck blind. Her immediate response was laughter. Several others joined in.

"Spock," she finally said, "This is too easy. Mind you, I'm no where near as good as you. But you gave yourself an additional injury. All I have to do is be blind?"

But she found it a challenge to talk to Sulu with gestures which she could not see, and get him to talk to her verbally, which he could not hear. They worked at it all the way to the next station, knowing it might become crucial before they were done.

Chekov was the last injury. With two broken legs, he became the second stretcher case. As Kirk pondered how they were going to travel with two stretchers and four walking wounded, they solved the problem without even consulting him. Sulu and Uhura worked it out to carry Chekov, and Spock and McCoy took over the back of Scotty's stretcher. As they set out once more, Kirk overheard McCoy mutter to Spock.

"You had this all figured out, didn't you?"

In spite of the words, Kirk didn't think McCoy was really bitter. But it was obvious that Spock had indeed planned it very carefully. Kirk wondered if Spock found the vow of silence difficult. It should have contributed to isolating him in an adversarial role. It didn't. The others talked to him and included him in their conversation, without any apparent discomfort at his silence.

Through his musings, Kirk became aware that the tenor of the conversation behind him had changed. As he listened, he discovered that Scotty and Chekov were teasing Spock unmercifully. One would ask him a question, then the other would answer it as if he were Spock. They attributed all kinds of crazy things to Spock, some of it dishonorable, some just plain mean, most embarrassing. Uhura occasionally contributed to the game, but mostly she just laughed with delight.

Spock never said a word in defense. They kept it up for over an hour. Kirk began to wonder if he should put a stop to it. He glanced over his shoulder, first at McCoy, who was grinning from ear to ear, then at Spock, who looked as unflustered as usual. He wondered if Spock wanted it stopped. He winced at a particularly vicious accusation, and glanced at Spock again. An infinitesimal nod, almost imagined, and Kirk interpreted that Spock was acknowledging to himself that they had scored a point. So Kirk let it go on unchecked.

Finally they came to another station. Kirk declared a one hour rest break, since they'd been in this maze for a good four hours. After they'd eaten, Uhura translated the message, which she read with her fingertips. It was a riddle, and they discussed for several minutes what it might mean.

McCoy hit on a solution which seemed right. It was a blueprint for what was to come. At each of the next six stations, they would encounter a riddle or puzzle which could be solved by only one of them. Then after a period of great physical hardship, they would encounter a seventh station whose puzzle would require all of them.

Before they moved on, Kirk went to Spock with a question.

"Spock, I want to know about the conversation between Scotty and Chekov. If I ask Bones for an explanation, will you tell me if he's right?"

No response.

"Bones, come here, please. I want you to be Spock's mouthpiece for me. If you don't know, then okay, but if you do, tell me the truth. All right?"

"Sure. The truth, if I know it."

Kirk kept his eyes glued on Spock, looking for a response.

"Is the vow of silence difficult?"

"No, not mostly anyway."

"So some of what they said bothers you?"

"You mean, Chekov and Scotty? No, that's not what I meant. Silence in response to that is easy. Silence in the face of your questions is not."

"You would rather I not ask questions?"

"I didn't say that."

"One more thing then. What were they trying to do, pay you back for what you have done to them?"

McCoy laughed. "Well, yes, there's an element of that in it, but it's not that simple, and it's not malicious, in spite of how it sounded."

"Explain."

"We are all here willingly, ready to endure a whole lot more than this. Sure, everybody's in pain, but this is essentially still a game. We trust Spock completely. We know what he's trying to accomplish, and we have some idea what it's going to take to get there. We know he won't break silence. We also know that he knows we're not angry with him.

"Spock put Scotty and Chekov on the stretchers, which was tantamount to putting them in charge of morale, because they can't do anything else. We've all heard those two go at it before. Spock knew exactly what he was asking for. Only difference is we got a solid hour of it non-stop."

"You wanted them to attack you?" Still no flicker of response from Spock.

"Yes. He uses it to judge their level of exhaustion. So you can plan on hearing lots more of it."

"I wish they would attack me instead. It's my fault we're doing this."

"I'm not surprised you think that. And maybe they will."

But they didn't. Shortly after resuming their journey, the two started in again. Clearly Spock was safe territory. Immune from counterattack, they had a field day. And it got worse, not better. Kirk wasn't sure how much more he could stand to listen to. Suddenly he thought of Konti and the street scenes. The present circumstances took on a new perspective. From that moment, Kirk became a participant, not just an observer. He began to plot how he could turn their attack away from Spock and onto himself.

He must accept what they were doing to Spock. As long as they sensed his disapproval, they would never do it to him. Secondly, he must prove that acceptance by laughing at Spock along with the rest of them, and even contributing his own share of the material with which to mock and taunt Spock. Lastly, he would counterattack, just a little jab here and there to let them know there were other fish to fry.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It took three hours of diligent labor, but it worked. Kirk laughed with delight as they maligned his character for a good hour. From there, it degenerated into a free-for-all, and no one escaped unscathed. When they tired of it, Kirk called another rest break. It had been six hours, but it didn't seem like half that. The entertainment had been well worth it.

McCoy nailed him as soon as he finished his rounds. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Did what?"

"You know what! Mind you, it was very skillfully done, but every one of us knows you did it on purpose."

"So?"

"So, we also knew you would if they kept it up long enough."

"You all planned this?!"

"Oh, no. We're ad-libbing everything."

"Does this mean we can dispense with the character assassination for the remainder of this trip?"

"Probably. I'm thinking very shortly, we're going to have more serious matters to think about. Spock has outdone himself with these puzzles, but there's only one left, yours. After that, he said things get difficult."

The puzzles had indeed been intriguing. Guessing which of them was to solve each puzzle was fairly easy, because each puzzle was stated in technical terms that matched their specialties. Uhura's was encrypted Romulan, McCoy's was a complex chemical formula, Chekov's was star charts, Sulu's a diagram of a battle plan, and Scotty's several circuit diagrams. But there were puzzles within puzzles. Or at least, there seemed to be.

They worked as a group to solve Uhura's puzzle, since she had neither computer nor eyesight. But when it was decoded, she looked puzzled.

"I'm not sure what it means. It doesn't seem to make sense, and yet I've the feeling that I have the key to it, somewhere in my memory."

And she continued to ponder it, while they discussed some of the other puzzles. McCoy kept reminding them who wrote these puzzles. Kirk listened to it all, but had nothing to offer. His knowledge of all such was part of the thirty years lost to him. And he doubted his own puzzle could be in any technical format due to his ignorance.

But it was, sort of. It was simple Morse code. Sulu read the dots and dashes aloud for Uhura. Everyone easily translated the message, but no one understood it, except Kirk. He turned and stared at Spock, marveling at how much he knew. Then he remembered that Spock had examined his mind just after he'd been taken from Konti. All he said though, was, "Why Morse code?"

Scotty answered him. "Doubtless there's a reason, Cap'n. If'n ye think on 't long enou', it'll come clear ta ye."

They did not ask what the message meant, and Kirk wasn't sure he was ready to tell them. Suddenly an urgent question surfaced in his mind. Once again, he moved in close and confronted Spock. McCoy was already at his side.

"Spock, do you know them all as well as you know me? Have you looked into each of their minds? Do your puzzles ask them to open their inner selves for all to see? If so, why do you demand such openness? Is it not enough that you know? Why must they be so vulnerable?"

Spock did not answer. McCoy sighed.

"Jim, that's a lot of questions. First of all, Spock knows you better than he does any of us. Yes, he's melded with each of us, but nowhere near as often as with you. Many times you've said he knows you better than you know yourself. You seemed to want it that way. Never have I seen you object to his using what he knows. Even now, you're not upset by his plastering your secrets all over the wall, but because you think he might be doing the same to the rest of us."

Kirk silently acknowledged that it was so. He remembered how angry he had been at Koh for using Konti. McCoy went on.

"When you and Spock became Christians last year, you began being completely transparent with everybody, not just each other. Many copied you because of how thoroughly you modeled this behavior. There are no secrets among us. We don't need personal defense mechanisms. We fear no attack. Vulnerability is a non-issue.

"As to whether the puzzles require intimate personal history to solve, it's entirely possible. Spock has the knowledge. But if he's used it, it won't be any more a problem for us than it is for you."

Throughout this explanation, Spock endured Kirk's scrutiny in silence. And knowing how much Kirk could read in his body language, Spock remained motionless as well.

Kirk sighed. "Difficult to remain silent. I wonder how accurate McCoy's answers are. No answer would be easier than a wrong answer, wouldn't it? Anyway," he gestured at the message on the wall, "thanks for the warning."

Kirk decided the others deserved the benefit of the same warning, so he gathered them all together for a conference before pressing on. He stared at the message one more time. It read:

Remember 280  
>Belly scar<br>7th day 1st mo 4 min  
>1550<br>Challenge to a 16 mind  
>No breaks<p>

"There's a story behind each of those six phrases. I will tell those stories, but not now. The overall message behind them is that what we are about to face will press the limits of our endurance. I mean, it's going to be awful. But the most important ingredient to our survival is not strength, but trust.

"Do you still consent to go on? Or do we tell Spock to call it off?"

They each answered in the affirmative. So Kirk led off, and they resumed their journey. Within ten minutes, conditions began to deteriorate. The corridor began to slope upward, sometimes so steeply that steps were necessary. Often they were uneven; more like rocks than man-made stairs. The walls varied in width, sometimes so narrow as to require sideways walking. They strapped Scotty and Chekov to the stretchers, and it was still agony, especially for Chekov's legs.

They came to a section where the ceiling descended to the point that forward progress was possible only by crawling on their bellies. Kirk and Sulu each pulled a stretcher behind them. Uhura guided the second stretcher from behind. Spock and McCoy strapped their broken arms to their sides, and pulled themselves through one-handed. On the far side, Kirk called a halt for a brief rest. He wanted a medical report. It had only been three hours, but he wanted a close watch on everybody's condition. This was only going to get worse.

McCoy's report was brief. "Everybody's doing as well as I would expect. Nobody's in serious trouble. Morale's still high. Nobody's exhausted. How about you?"

"Me? I'm fine. It takes a lot to exhaust me."

"Are you drinking?"

"No. I suppose I should. No IV's in this game."

"No IV's? Why would you think there would be?"

"I'm used to consuming nothing except by IV for days and weeks at a time."

"It's positively criminal!" McCoy was still angry at what they had done to Kirk.

Kirk laughed. "Depends on your perspective. I suppose you think what we're doing today is not criminal?"

"That's different!"

"Is it?"

McCoy didn't answer.

They pressed on. Within another hour, their surroundings had become definitely cave-tunnel-like, as opposed to corridor-like. The light gradually dimmed and finally disappeared altogether. Opinion was unanimous, however, that this did not imply a lengthy rest break. They were to proceed, but with only the light available from the hand torches they carried. To conserve power, they used only two at a time.

The temperature dropped, the humidity increased, and a cold wind began to blow. Kirk had been sweating slightly. Now he was chilled and grateful to be wearing clothes. They wrapped Scotty and Chekov in thermal blankets. The rest of them could move to stay warm. A few hours later, the climate changed again, to hot and humid. Thereafter, the climate changed every few hours, from one extreme to another, the transitions shocking their systems.

Then there began to be choices in their route. Having no idea whether his choices made any real difference, Kirk invariably chose whichever route looked more difficult.

Kirk lost all track of time. His only concern was that the others survive this. The question of his own survival never entered his thinking. In spite of the circumstances, he was nowhere near his own personal limit. But the whole point of this was to find out where the others' limits were. And what happened when they were reached.

He took to making a visual inspection at every opportunity. And he asked for a medical report so often that McCoy got annoyed.

"Look, I'll tell you if somebody's dying. Other than that, we're surviving. Just barely." He paused. "I'm sorry, Jim. I know you're concerned. I am too. I wish I could tell you we're all fine. On the other hand, if we were, that would just mean it was going to get a lot worse. As it is, I don't know how much more we can take."

"Still trust Spock?"

"With my life. More to the point, with Chekov's and Scotty's lives."

At another rest break, Kirk made the rounds, checking on each one. In spite of their exhaustion, morale was still high. And each reiterated their trust in Spock. Suddenly McCoy cried out in alarm. Kirk scrambled to his aid, only to discover Spock had keeled over. McCoy had his scanner out.

"He's put himself into a trance. That's just what we need!"

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Spock can make himself unconscious at will. There's more than one way to pull him out of it. In this case, I suspect he has a pre-arranged trigger of some kind. What concerns me more is why he did this."

"And that is?"

"I don't know, but I can think of three possibilities. Maybe there's something up ahead for which he needs to be unconscious. Maybe he's afraid your questions will force him to talk."

"I don't think so. Nothing could make him talk if he'd decided not to."

"Or maybe he wants you to leave him here."

"Not a chance. We stick together."

"The other possibility is he wants to make you carry him."

"I can do that."

They rigged shoulder straps for carrying the stretchers one-handed. When they started out again, Kirk had Spock over his shoulder, and steadied Scotty's stretcher with his left hand. Uhura was moved to the back of Scotty's stretcher. Sulu and McCoy carried Chekov. That way each stretcher had three hands and a shoulder. When they came to tight spots, Kirk took Scotty through, then returned with the stretcher and took Spock through on a second trip.

Kirk had no idea what else Spock could throw at them, but was no longer surprised that he found a way to make it worse. They were resting after a particularly long crawl space. Suddenly the rocks under them became burning hot. They stood up and the rocks immediately cooled off. They sat down and the rocks heated up again. This time they didn't cool off until they started walking again. Thereafter the rocks only allowed them four minutes of rest at a time. Kirk was tempted to call a halt every fifteen minutes, but didn't want to risk the possibility that they would be denied even the four minute break. So he compromised with a break every hour.

He wasn't sure how to keep everybody moving through the next crawl space. But Chekov solved the problem by pointing out that he could pull himself through with a little help from Uhura. This freed Sulu to pull Scotty through, with McCoy helping from behind. Kirk rigged a harness to pull Spock behind him without a stretcher.

At every four minute break, Kirk made the rounds to check on everybody. Thus he himself got no rest at all. Neither did McCoy. Gradually their forward progress slowed to a stumbling crawl. But as long as they moved, the rocks stayed cool.

At some point during that interminable trek, Uhura began to sing. It was an old song, with simple words about the will to endure, to overcome, to press on. Chekov joined her. Then Scotty did too. Kirk had thought Scotty unconscious, but the song roused him. It seemed to give them all new energy, even Sulu who hadn't even heard it.

Finally they were reduced to crawling a few feet every time the stones got hot. Even Kirk was starting to feel exhausted, but only because he was carrying Spock. Even so, he could have kept going, but he would not leave the others. He had put Sulu in front some ways back, because he didn't trust himself to set a pace they could all maintain.

Suddenly he became aware of a source of light up ahead. He was tempted to go investigate, but decided not to. They must stay together. Eventually they would reach the light. The rocks would force them to keep going. Kirk made the rounds once again, and asked each one if they still trusted Spock. They did. He encouraged them that the end was in sight. They picked up a little speed, and within half an hour had reached the light source.

It was an oasis of ordinary corridor in this endless tunnel of rock. On the wall was another message. They sat in a stupor for at least twenty minutes, just grateful to be there. No rocks tormented them to move on.

Kirk read the message. It was in Standard, very brief, and straight-forward.

Put all the puzzles together,  
>Speak the key words,<br>And I will awake.

Gradually the others stirred, read the message, and began to discuss it. Kirk let them talk for half an hour. He was somewhat surprised they were still mentally coherent in spite of their exhaustion. Finally he stood and tried to summarize.

"Okay, you all agree that this riddle means that Spock will wake up if we can figure out the right words to say. So what do the star charts, battle plan, chemical formula, circuit diagrams, Romulan nonsense, and my cryptic phrases all have in common? Could the connection be some shared experience, rather than each puzzle having its own solution? Or maybe it's some combination of personal history and shared history."

"Cap'n, have ye any more thought on why yer message was in Morse?"

"No, but I remember when I learned the code. I was eight, I think. Friend of mine at school, his name was Mark, we thought it was cool to have a secret code. Used it to pass messages for months. One day we discovered this girl in class had been reading them all before passing them on. We felt betrayed. Funny thing, though, by the time we were in high school, she was a good friend. We shared the same dream - getting into the Academy." He paused. "Sorry, sometimes things that happened a long time ago seem closer. Anyway, where were we?"

"Keptin, could 'betray' be one of the key words? I've just remembered what's important about one of those star charts - the one out in the middle of nowhere. That's where we were when we met up with First's vessel the first time."

Understanding dawned on their faces, but Kirk was clueless.

"Sorry, Keptin, I forgot you don't remember. Spock deliberately betrayed you, but you refused to consider him an enemy."

With this direction as a framework, they fit all the pieces together. Uhura's Romulan was unscrambled to become something Ael had said to her. Sulu's battle plan was the one they had used against the Tomarii, when Spock had been negotiating as a Romulan officer. Each puzzle brought to mind an incident in which the situation had been resolved only by trusting someone who appeared to be an enemy. Kirk looked at Spock who was still unconscious. In all their discussion, they somehow hadn't hit on the right combination of words. Then he thought of his relationship with Konti. The concept could be summed up in one sentence.

"Enemies betray trust, but overcome betrayal by trusting your enemy."

Spock woke up.

"Computer, end program."

Immediately they found themselves on the bare holodeck floor, dazed, still exhausted, but no longer actively in pain. Their injuries had evaporated along with the tunnel walls. Spock rose and faced Kirk.

"Debriefing now would be best, unless exhaustion prohibits clarity of thought."

"Bones, what do you think?"

McCoy had already begun scanning them. "You two can stay up all night if you want, but the rest of these folks need several hours of rest to recover from this little party. And Spock, I'm warning you, just because his endurance is multiplied doesn't mean it's endless."

"Acknowledged, Doctor."

Kirk and Spock talked for four hours, going over every detail. Kirk shared his impressions of each of them. Spock asked probing question after question, giving no indication of his agreement or disagreement of Kirk's answers. Finally they began to discuss Spock himself.

"And what have you learned of me?"

Kirk chuckled. "You weigh less than Konti does."

"You are not angry then?"

"No. I thought the whole thing was rather well done. Not boring. You should meet Koh sometime and compare notes."

"What I know on the subject I learned from you."

"I marvel at how much you got from such a short probe."

"I know your mind well. I have been there many times."

"Were McCoy's answers correct?"

"Yes, but I would not have told you if they weren't."

"You're as stubborn as I am. What I marvel most at is how much they trust you. It never wavered."

"They learned it from you."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

After four hours sleep, they gathered for debriefing. Kirk asked each of them to share how they felt about the experience. Then he summarized what he had learned of them. The remainder of their time before lunch was devoted to story-telling. They only had time to recount their encounter with the Romulan, Ael, and Spock's sojourn as Black Fire, which resulted in conquering the Tomarii. Over lunch McCoy held forth on the subject of Kirk's health.

"Jim, you've got to start taking care of yourself. Your body has no idea when day and night are. You have to be told to eat. And even then, you don't eat enough to satisfy a bird. And you're dehydrated too. I don't have any IV's."

"I'll try to be more careful, Doctor."

"Jim, why are you being so compliant all of a sudden? What happened to that stubborn will of yours?"

"Food's not worth arguing over. If you want me to eat, I'll eat. If you wanted me to not eat, that's fine too."

"You can't survive without eating!"

"That's not the point. Food and drink, and the lack thereof, was one of the tools of torture. An 'I don't care' attitude was self-defense. So I'll try to remember to eat, but feel free to nag me about it."

"Now that's a switch!"

xxxx

After lunch Spock took Kirk to meet First. As the elevator rose to First's room, Kirk remembered the scene in the arena, when he thought he was dying. Once again he stood before this creature without fear.

"First, I trust you are well-rested. May I present to you Captain James T. Kirk."

"Thank you, Spock. What have you told him about this business?"

"Virtually nothing."

"Then we have much to discuss."

"I will leave you to it. Captain, please return to Third's room when you are finished."

"Sure, Spock. I'll see you later." He turned back to First, without waiting for Spock to depart. "Sir, I must apologize for calling you a monster. It was very improper, as well as inaccurate. Please forgive me."

"Of course. So you don't think I'm a monster?"

"No. Even at the time, I thought you sounded quite civilized. My congratulations on a masterful performance. You had me fooled."

"Yet you were not afraid. You still aren't."

"Why should I be?"

"Did Spock tell you how my people communicate?"

"No, but I'd guess it's not in Standard."

"It is not spoken at all. We are touch telepaths."

Kirk reached a conclusion about something he remembered. "You told me to scream. I heard you."

"Yes. Do you remember what it felt like?"

"The squeezing felt like a massage - very relaxing."

"And the head?"

"Oh that. I thought you were trying to render me unconscious. It wasn't working."

"Quite the opposite. I was trying to keep the contacts brief enough that you would not lose consciousness. Short of the miraculous, your people cannot sustain contact with mine. But what we are doing now is so slow, cumbersome, and inadequate. What I need to discuss with you is complex and lengthy. I hardly know how to begin."

"Excuse me, sir, but I didn't think it was that bad. Could you try it?" Kirk suggested. "Maybe I won't lose consciousness."

"Spock told me you had lost your memory. Yet that is almost the same thing you said to me the first time we met."

"Others have expressed the same phenomenon. Apparently the essence of who I am remains unchanged. Anyway, can we try it? Seems like we've nothing to lose."

"We can, and I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you want to. How can you so quickly shed the mental picture of being eaten alive?" First asked curiously.

"It wasn't a terror-filled, traumatic experience for me. Once I understood that it was an act, I hardly gave it another thought. So, let's get on with it, unless there's something about this you're not telling me?"

"No, I just had to reassure myself that your emotional makeup hasn't changed. You see, I am very vulnerable to emotional attack."

"You mean, if I was angry, I could hurt you? I seldom get angry, and if I do, it won't be about anything you have done to me. Right now, I'm very curious, and a little impatient," Kirk admitted.

"Okay. Wrapping you in my arms isn't strictly necessary, but-"

"Feel free. It doesn't bother me."

So First wrapped Kirk thoroughly. And reassured by Kirk's completely relaxed body, First initiated contact.

*Captain, you are the most fearless person I have ever met.*

*Surely Spock's not afraid of you either.*

*That's different. Spock has abilities you don't have. And he wasn't eaten alive like you were.*

*Look, can we just forget about that? We have more important things to discuss.*

*What about the pain?*

*It's not bad. If it doesn't get any worse, I can put up with this more or less indefinitely.*

*If you are wrong, and it suddenly overwhelms you, I cannot prevent your losing consciousness.*

*It won't, but even if it did, it's no big deal. Stop worrying. Just ignore it. And trust me - it will not make me angry.*

*To begin with, I must show you my first encounter with you. You will see yourself through my eyes. It will be doubly odd for you since you have no memory of this encounter. But it is essential to your understanding of the present situation.*

Kirk saw First's memory of the vision, the search, and the week spent with the seven of them. He saw the series of tests, Spock's attack, and the rescue of Third. The deliverance from fear and rage was felt at real-time speed, since it was so important in First's memory. The concluding events were quickly shared. Then First switched modes back to conversation.

*Do you have questions?*

Kirk was momentarily disoriented, as he realized who and where he was.

*Wow! I can see why you think the spoken word is inadequate. It'll take me awhile to process all this before I have any questions.*

*I have one for you then. Do you still trust Spock as you did then?*

*You never did understand it. You still don't. In fact, you don't trust Spock even now! But- you worked closely with him to retrieve me from the Klingons.*

*Yes, it was the only way to get to you. For reasons you do not yet know, I would risk everything to get you.*

*Spock knows you don't trust him, and he knows why, doesn't he?*

*Yes, he does,* First admitted reluctantly.

*Know this then: I do trust Spock, and he is not my enemy. He never has been, and he never will be. But even if he were, I would still trust him.*

*Thank you for that assurance. I am still trying to adjust to your loss of memory, and not sure what I can rely on. How can you still trust Spock when you've lost the memories on which that trust was based?*

*Not quite all of them are lost.*

Kirk shared his memory of those hours on Konti's ship before Spock took his memory.

*So you see, I can't tell you why I trust Spock, but the memory that I do trust him is rock-solid.*

*Yes, I see that. How is your pain?*

*I told you to ignore it.*

*That was then.*

*And this is now, and I'm still ignoring it.*

*Okay. The next thing I need to show you is what happened on my world during the year after our encounter.*

Kirk saw the process of the spread of Christianity. Then the plague disaster, and how the Christians among them saved so many. Lastly, he saw in what high esteem the entire planet held one Captain James T. Kirk. He was again disoriented at the transition back to conversation, but adjusted faster.

*All that I have shared to this point is history that all your team knows. It has now been many hours since we began. You once told me that your people became alarmed when you were out of touch for long periods. Perhaps we should continue tomorrow.*

*How many hours has it been? It doesn't seem long.*

*You have been here for eight of your hours.*

*Eight hours! McCoy will be fussing for sure. All right. I'll be back in something less than twelve hours. We can pick it up again in the morning.*

Spock was waiting for him in Third's room. He was alone.

"Hello, Spock. Progress report: we've covered all the relevant history, but I've still no idea what the problem is. Is McCoy fit to be tied?"

"Sputtering and fuming."

"I better go eat, then. But Spock, after that, could we find someplace to talk, just the two of us? Or do you have other plans for the night?"

"I am yours to command, Captain. Even had I made other plans, they could be adjusted. I will await you here."

McCoy pounced as soon as Kirk appeared in their quarters. He patiently endured a thorough tongue-lashing while choosing a meal selection that he hoped would satisfy McCoy. He ate slowly, praying that he would be able to finish it. He apologized profusely when McCoy paused for breath, but he wasn't satisfied.

"What good is an apology? It doesn't change your behavior any. You agree with everything I say, and then go do what you want anyway."

Kirk refused to put the blame off on First. The fact that he had gone eight hours without being aware of the food issue merely proved McCoy's point.

"Would you like to give me thirty lashes for disobedience?"

McCoy just stared at him in shocked silence.

"I'm sorry, Bones. I shouldn't have said that. I know you're only trying to help me. And I really will try to do better tomorrow."

"I'm sorry too, Jim." McCoy sat down heavily. "I can't conceive of what you went through. What the mind can't imagine, it has a tendency to deny the reality of. Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive. You're just doing your job."

McCoy took on a thoughtful look. "Jim, you are different, and it's not the lost memories. It's the months of Klingon torture."

"Go on. What's different?"

"It's hard to explain. If we'd had this conversation a year ago, you'd have cut me off in the middle of the first sentence, told me to stop nagging, that you'd eat when you could, and some things were more important than food. Now, instead of pushing back, you yield. I push some more, and you just yield again. Even that comment about the lashes wasn't sarcastic. If I'd said 'yes', you'd have been trying to figure out how to make the holodeck produce a whip."

"You're right, Bones. You might understand it better after you hear my story, but I doubt it. None of you are going to understand it, except Spock. I will tell you anyway, but the timing has to be right. You will need time to react. For now, just know this: Konti, Koh, and Kezak are my friends. There are no scars on my soul as a result of my time with them."

Kirk finished his meal and returned to Spock in Third's room.

"Thank you for waiting. Spock, you know what First shared with me today. Have you experienced their method of communication?"

"Yes."

"First's memories are very vivid, but there are holes in his knowledge. I'm hoping you can fill in the gaps for me."

"Like what, specifically?"

"Like what happened between the time he let us go, and when we returned the next day."

Spock sighed. "Jim, you are not asking for what you really want. Why not?"

Kirk did not doubt that Spock knew. "Because I don't know if you can, I don't know if you are willing, and it isn't really necessary."

"And you don't want to ask me to endure the pain of reliving all those memories. Yes, they are among the most painful memories I carry. But you do not know that it is not necessary. You and I each shared the entire experience with all aboard the _Enterprise_, in great detail and with complete transparency. I wish I could give you back your own memory of it, but since I cannot, I will freely give you my memory of it - because I can, and the pain to be endured by each of us is acceptable."

Without further words, Spock initiated the meld, and for the next five hours, they relived those fateful days. At the end of it, Kirk was emotionally exhausted. Tears streamed down his face unnoticed. Spock withdrew.

"Thank you, Spock."

They slept for four hours. After breakfast, Kirk returned to First. Again he spent eight hours, skipping lunch. When he returned to their quarters, McCoy just looked at him and shook his head. Kirk grinned and shrugged. After slowly eating as much dinner as he could manage to consume, Kirk looked at the others.

"Today I learned what this mission is about. I still have many questions, which Spock, First, and I will address tomorrow. For tonight, I would like to discuss something else. If you've no objections, I think the time has come to tell my story."

They eagerly settled in to listen.

"I spent the first two weeks aboard Konti's vessel, during which time they tried to get me to talk. Thanks to Spock, it didn't work."

"Yer pard'n, sir, but I have a question aboot that. I saw ye when ye left, sir, an' it didna look ta me as if ye'd lost yer memory."

"We didn't do it until after I had boarded the Klingon vessel."

"But Cap'n, how is that possible?"

"I'm sure I don't know. You'd have to ask Spock."

"If I may, Captain-" Kirk nodded. "Mr. Scott, the Captain does not know that what we did should have been impossible. The Lord enabled me to establish and maintain a long-distance link, specifically for the purpose of performing the mental surgery that took his memory. I do not know that the phenomenon could be repeated."

"Thank ye, sir. No further questions."

Kirk continued. "When we arrived at their home world, I was sent to the mindsifter. They learned nothing useful, so when they discovered that my mind was restored, they did it again a week later. That time the Lord left me in that state for a week before restoring my mind. By this time, I had managed to make friends with Konti, so when-"

"Excuse me, Captain," Spock interrupted. "What you are giving them is a recital of facts, and selected ones at that. If you would have them understand, they must live it as you lived it."

"Spock, I can't do what you and First can do!"

"You can be a great deal more transparent than you are being."

"But Spock, they won't understand. You know they won't. They'll just be appalled and horrified. I can see it in their eyes."

"Yes, they will. Do you fear they will reject you because of it?"

"No, I guess I don't want them to hate my friends."

"Jim, trust is a fragile thing, difficult to achieve, but once obtained, it can withstand any storm."

Kirk knew Spock was asking him to trust these people. He remembered his first impression of them. Then the marathon session on the holodeck, and how much they trusted Spock. Maybe, just maybe, they could understand and not hate. Then he remembered what Spock had shown him the night before. The storms they had weathered because of the trust level between them were just incredible.

"All right. Complete transparency it is." And he began again at the beginning. This time he told every detail he could remember, which he found was quite a lot. He also told his thoughts, feelings, reactions, motives, and goals, as well as what he thought Konti's and Koh's were. It took a long time. Kirk watched the body language, facial expressions, and eyes of his listeners. Yes, they were horrified at the graphic detail he did not spare them. But they wanted to understand, to see it the way he saw it.

About 0100 McCoy called a halt. Kirk would have talked all night, but the doctor insisted on rest for all. Kirk had almost reached the 1500-lash beating. Though he was roughly half-way through, the worse half was yet to come.

xxxx

Kirk spent the next day in conference with First and Spock. Spock had no more trouble with the pain than Kirk did, but then Kirk hadn't expected him to. Spock however, had a question about it.

*You are not giving the pain to Jesus?*

*No, why should I need to do that?*

*The pain does not overwhelm you?*

*No, it's nowhere near my limit. Feels like about 200. I could handle this almost indefinitely. Could probably sleep through it. Why do you ask?*

*Humans cannot do what you are doing.*

*Well, this one can now. Koh and I built up my tolerance over the months I was there. Anyway, we have other matters to discuss.*

He went on without waiting for Spock to continue in that vein. *First, I have a number of questions. I asked Spock to come with me this morning, because he will be an integral part of the solution to this mess, and I value his advice. But I know you don't trust him. So, can you discuss this freely even if he's here?*

*Yes, Captain. I had to tell him everything I have told you before he would consent to tell me where you were. I had to make him understand that we had to have you. No one else can hope to save us.*

*Okay. So the reason I'm leading this mission is only partly because of that videotape. It's mostly because your people won't trust anybody else as negotiator.*

*That's right.*

*That videotape's got problems, but we'll come back to that. Tell me this: if each of us is representing a different group, then aren't you having to trust Spock and the others too, not just me?*

*No, Captain. Each of the groups will have to trust their leader, but as long as you trust each of your people, we only have to trust you.*

*I see. Well, there's lots of details to work out, but my biggest question is this. Assuming we manage to set up negotiations, just how far are you willing to go? How much are you ready to give up? I don't want to get to the table and find out that it's just a bunch of empty promises.*

*We will do whatever it takes, Captain. You have my word. We don't want any more people to die.*

*You mean any of your people.*

*No, I mean anyone, us or any of them.*

*All right, I'll hold you to that. I can't promise to do it without bloodshed, but I will try. I am warning you now, however, the slave system will have to go.*

*Understood, Captain.*

They talked for several hours, finally breaking for lunch about 1400. Kirk ate lightly. McCoy noticed but said nothing. Kirk called a briefing after lunch.

"All right. Here's what you volunteered for. First's people are the dominant race in their galaxy. They have subjugated a number of other races from other planets, and brought many of them as slaves to their planet. These slave groups operate the infrastructure that allows First's people to live in luxury.

"Since they became Christians, they've felt uncomfortable with the system, but haven't known what to do about it. Their society is dependent on that infrastructure. Since the plague of last year, there's been a great deal of unrest among the slaves. They fear a massive uprising, but don't know how to stop it or prevent the bloodshed that would result.

"Somebody in their ruling ring got the bright idea to call us in to resolve the situation. So far, so good. Here's where it gets nasty. They want us to enter the scene as slaves. They would send each of us to a different slave group. Our task is to secure the trust of our fellow slaves, get them to agree to negotiate, and make us their representatives. After that it should be easy.

"Apparently, the biggest reason they need our help is that there's no way to communicate back and forth. The slaves are controlled through fear. Their every word and action is watched, and discipline is swift. But the only direct contact is through the one chosen as Speaker. The slaves choose their Speaker, and they pick somebody they want to get rid of, because nobody lasts very long at the job. The Speaker receives a daily download of instructions directly to the mind. The process renders the Speaker unconscious. The slaves then force the Speaker back to consciousness long enough to regurgitate the day's instructions. Most don't last a week.

"Most of First's people are very sensitive to emotions. Not so with the elite group that controls the slaves. They've had it trained out of them. They know how to intimidate and instill fear, and they're completely unaffected by the fear and rage of their victims. Only the leader of that elite group has any contact with the rest of First's people, and that leader never performs any of the downloads.

"First thinks it unwise to alert them of our coming or tell them who we are. I concur. It would not do to present any suspicion that we might be associated with First's people. As it is, we'll be suspect because we aren't of their races. We've made some plans to present a very thorough picture of our status as slaves.

"Another item you need to know about - every slave enters the system with an ID disk. The disk contains the video footage of their test - the same one First gave us on the holodeck. I'm talking about the eight hours non-stop session with lions, bears, and dinosaur. Apparently your test results dictate your ranking in the slave society. The longer you last, the higher your rank. First tells me we outrank everybody else on the planet. Let me pause here for questions."

McCoy jumped in first. "We go in as slaves, so the slaves will trust us. What if they don't?"

"Trust takes time. First thinks we'll have at least a week. Pray the situation is not already out of hand."

"I can see talking them into letting me be Speaker," Sulu said, "but how do we break down the walls against communication with the elite group?"

"Again, building trust is the key. Once they see that we're not afraid of them, they'll be more willing to talk. But that brings up a problem I'm not sure how to solve. I don't have any trouble talking to First and neither does Spock, but he said humans can't do this. So how do we make it possible for each of you to be a successful Speaker? And First seemed to think you were not afraid of them, but I need to verify that detail too."

Chekov answered for them all. "Keptin, I'm the only one who vas ever afraid of them, and I've gotten over it. Nor is enduring the pain a problem either. Ve just give it to Jesus."

"Cap'n," Scotty brought up another problem. "I dinna mean ta cause problems, but that ID disk thing- There's a coupla' things that dinna match."

"I'm aware of that, Scotty, and I've a solution, but neither Spock nor First like it." He paused. "I think we have to redo the test. If we were really slaves, that test would be administered within days of the time we enter the system. The changes in me and in Spock just won't fly. They'd smell something fishy the moment they saw the tape."

"Jim, you nearly died taking that test!" McCoy objected.

"Captain," Uhura put in, "how can we possibly duplicate that test? With things as they are now, it'd be suicide to try some of the stunts you and Spock did then!"

"And we'd have ta take the safety overrides off the holodeck. Cap'n, it's risky, mighty risky. Too many things could go wrong."

"I've heard all those arguments already. But the fact is, we have no choice. The tape we've got is no good; we have to have a new one. And it doesn't have to be an exact duplicate. It just has to be real. Do you trust First to keep us alive? He'll be running the program."

Sulu answered, "More to the point is, do you and Spock trust him? You're the ones taking 90% of the risks. And Spock, can you do the stunts blind? If not, what do we do instead?"

Spock spoke for the first time. "We have time for several trials."

"I take it that means you've decided to do this?" McCoy retorted.

"Doctor, the Captain is correct. We have no choice."

"Just don't start ripping Jim's chest open today. His back's not healed up yet."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

That evening Kirk concluded his story of the months he spent with the Klingons. It was 0200 when he finished. He looked them each in the eye and delivered a concluding plea.

"Please do not hate them. They are my friends. I know it's late, but if you have any questions, I'll try to answer them."

There was dead silence for several moments. Uhura's soft voice broke it. "You miss them, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," Kirk freely admitted. Then his eyes widened in surprise as he grasped that she understood him. He looked around at the others. Nowhere did he see hate or anger. "You do understand then?"

"I don't think I could do vhat you did, Keptin, but I understand the concept, in principle anyvay."

"That's what you want us to do in this mission?" Sulu inquired. "Establish an attitude of 'I don't care what you do to me, I just want to be friends'?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But the situations are quite different. I don't know that the same methods will work with very different people and circumstances. Also, you need to realize my attitude was based, at least in part, on the fact that I expected them to kill me. From the first day, we all understood that. Here, on the other hand, I'm hoping you will all survive it. At least, I'm not going in with the preconceived idea that you won't."

xxxx

The next few days were busy. They reviewed the data which First supplied about the various slave races. They discussed contingency plans, since they would have no chance to communicate with each other once they arrived. McCoy installed intradermal universal translators, so they would be able to talk to their fellow slaves. And they rehearsed for the marathon test rerun.

After discussing it, Kirk and Spock decided to try for as close a duplication of the original as they could manage. To that end, Kirk reviewed the original for hours on end, memorizing every part of it. They walked through every scene, both without and then with animals. The last lion scene was the only real challenge. They practiced it over and over again, with Sulu as a stand-in for the lion. Finally, three days out from First's galaxy, Kirk insisted they try it with the real lion. Spock's performance was flawless. Nonetheless, Kirk insisted on two more trials interspersed between bear scenes. It all went like clockwork. Kirk was satisfied they were ready.

That evening Kirk called a final briefing. "Tomorrow morning we will run the marathon test. I'm sure you will all do fine. One thing to note: even though First has assured me there is no audio portion of the tape, please stay in character. Do not say anything that would give away the fact that this is a rehearsed show. I want it to look every bit as real as the original. In fact, it needs to feel real to you. I've asked First not to run it in the same order as the original, because I've got it memorized. Also, Spock's going to tell me when we're down to thirty minutes, because I'm going to have to fake the exhaustion. Do not be alarmed. I will not be nearly as far gone as it will look.

"Following the marathon, I've asked First to treat us just like he would any other prisoner slaves. I also refused to let him tell me what that would be like. He protested, so I let him tell Spock, but you know how close-mouthed Spock can be." They chuckled. "And Spock knows why I don't want to know. A slave is seldom told what's going on or why. The more real the circumstances feel, the more genuine your responses will be.

"Any questions?"

There were none.

"All right. The rest of the evening is free. This is the last rest you're likely to get before this mission is over."

Kirk spent a few minutes with each of them. They all seemed confident, relaxed, and glad the waiting was almost over. None appeared apprehensive about their ability to accomplish a successful conclusion of this mission. He asked McCoy about it.

"You said two weeks ago that they all thought this was a vacation. They still seem completely unconcerned. Do they really think we can pull this off?"

"Don't you?"

"I don't know. There's too many unknowns."

"Jim, let me ask you something. Do you think you can pull off that marathon test tomorrow - I mean, you personally, assuming everybody else does what they're supposed to do?"

"Of course! It never occurred to me that that was in question."

"And when you tackle that lion, do you believe that Spock will be there for you, on time, every time?"

"Yes, there's no doubt in my mind whatsoever."

"They know that's what you think. Their confidence is a reflection of yours."

"But I'm not-"

McCoy cut him off. "I know. But the same principle applies to the mission as a whole. Do you believe that you personally can do what needs doing?"

"There's no question I can act like a slave. I've been doing it for months. And it shouldn't be too difficult to talk them into letting me be Speaker. It's after that that things get iffy."

"Jim, I've watched you in more iffy situations than I can count. You think fast, you adjust, you improvise, you do whatever it takes, but most importantly, you never give up. That's the Jim Kirk we all know and love. It hasn't disappeared with the lost memories. Nor have the Klingons beaten it out of you. You can't honestly stand there and tell me that stubborn will of yours is missing in action."

Kirk grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

"Believe in yourself, Jim. Believe in who God made you to be. Believe that He knows what He's doing. Believe that He didn't bring you this far, only to abandon you now. Trust Him, Jim. He'll never let you down."

"Thanks, Bones. I guess I needed a pep talk."

"Any time. It's part of my job."

Kirk went last to speak with Spock.

"Well, Spock, I've done everything I know to do. What have I forgotten to consider?"

"Whatever it is, Captain, has escaped my attention also."

"Spock, I don't know how to say this, but-" He paused. Spock just waited. "You're always so solidly, just there. I'm not saying this very well, but- thank you for being you. I've needed a rock to lean on in a sea of change."

"Jim, I will always be your friend, but I cannot always be beside you. The solid rock you need to lean on is Jesus Christ."

"Yes, and I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is that some things about this have been easy, other things much more difficult than I expected. Having to trust everybody enough to tell my story was probably the most difficult. But it was a lot easier than it might have been, simply because you were there."

"Jim, I'm the one that pushed you to do it."

"I know, and I know why you did it. I needed to see that they understood."

"I did not know that they would understand. You needed to trust, to be transparent, regardless of whether they understood. However, it was precisely because of your transparency that they could understand. Otherwise, they would have been left with their preconceived opinions that all Klingons are enemies, and seven months of torture could not possibly contain anything good."

"One more thing, Spock, I want you to know that I still don't regret your taking my memories. I'm coping with the loss, so even though you were right, it's gone on much longer than I expected, I still think it was worth the cost. So thank you for being willing to do that for me."

"You are welcome. I hope to have the opportunity to give them back to you."

"I hope so too, but if not, it's okay."

xxxx

They gathered after breakfast for a word of prayer. Then they made their way to the holodeck, taking nothing with them except the uniforms they were wearing. At once the holodeck was transformed into the grassy plain of the lion scene. With the lions approaching, it was apparent that First was starting with the last lion scene. Kirk charged, tackled the lion, and felt the claws rip his chest open. Spock subdued it right on schedule.

The test proceeded at a fast pace, with no more than a minute or two between scenes. The pace seemed faster than the original, but Kirk didn't care. He was having a good time. Action was always better than inaction. After about two hours, however, Kirk was starting to get bored. There were no new challenges. Everything was running like clockwork. But it wouldn't do to become inattentive. Everyone, but especially Spock, relied on his verbal cues.

Suddenly they found themselves in a completely new environment. This place wasn't on the original tape at all. The landscape was flat, arid scrub growth. Kirk glanced at his crew to be sure all were there. He noticed several of them had knives in their hands. He himself had two. Spock had none.

"Spock! Knife!" And he threw one of the knives to Spock. Scanning the desert for anything that moved, Kirk saw an advancing column of creatures coming toward them from all sides.

"Hold your defensive line! Don't let them get behind you! Spock, they're giant spiders, about two feet tall, three feet in diameter, including legs. Maybe twenty of them; they've got us surrounded. Ten feet away, they've stopped; looking us over. Here they come!"

Kirk killed four of them in a few seconds. By the time he could turn to see if anybody needed help, the fight was over. All were still on their feet, but it wasn't until the start of the next scene that Kirk found out no one had gotten bit by one of those giant spiders.

Thereafter, First threw them a completely new challenge about every thirty minutes. Once added, the new scene became part of the mix. After the spiders, they battled a rampaging hyena. A half hour later, they found themselves in canoes, battling white-water rapids. Kirk heard the roar and shouted a warning, but there was no way to avoid going over the waterfall. Fortunately they were all good swimmers. That scene ended with seven heads bobbing the surface of the lake below the falls.

The next new scene was in a large snake pit.

"Don't anybody move. If we remain absolutely motionless, maybe they won't think us a threat."

Kirk didn't even bother telling Spock what they were. Spock could feel them just as well as Kirk. The snakes slithered all over their motionless bodies. It was a very long three minutes.

After that, they fought half a dozen birds of prey, and then a shark in the ocean. It went straight for Kirk, who was bleeding already. Sulu and Chekov dispatched it before it took a bite out of Kirk.

Next on the agenda was a tornado. They made it to the nearest ditch with only seconds to spare. After that, they encountered a herd of charging elephants. At Kirk's shouted advice, they grabbed the tusks and hoisted themselves to the elephants' backs. Half an hour later, they were battling a pack of wolverines, with only rocks and their bare hands.

Kirk thought perhaps First was running out of new ideas, but no, once more, they found themselves in new terrain. It looked like a ravine or canyon in southwestern America. Kirk felt a wind on his face.

"Flash flood! Head for the wall and start climbing!"

Had it been a sheer cliff, they would never have made it. There was no time for finesse. They scrambled up, grabbing anything that seemed to provide a purchase. Sand and pebbles rained down on Kirk, having been dislodged by those above. He glanced up the ravine and saw the wall of water. The others would be safely above it. Spock was not.

Kirk slid down to him, pulled Spock into the branches of a gnarled cedar, and hung on for dear life. The water battered them and tried to choke them, but the cedar protected them from most of the debris. About two minutes later, the water receded sufficiently for them to breathe.

"Thank you, Captain."

"You're most welcome, Spock."

"It has been seven hours."

"Time to start looking exhausted?"

There were two more new scenes. One was a fire-breathing, flying dragon. Kirk distracted its attention, and Scotty lopped off its head with a claymore that appeared in his hands. The last challenge was a horde of giant ants.

"Too bad we don't have any of that fire the dragon was scorching us with," quipped McCoy.

"I've got a couple of rocks," volunteered Sulu."I might even get ten or twenty, but there's hundreds of them!"

"Wait! Let me see those rocks," ordered Scotty. "Cap'n, this's flint!"

"Great! Uhura, Bones, make us a couple of grass torches. Spock, you can probably get us some sparks out of this flint faster than anybody else."

Kirk let Sulu and Chekov start the circle of fire. He told everybody to strip off their shirts and jackets, wind their shirts around their faces as smoke protection, and use their jackets along with their boots to smother the flames. It worked. The ants would not cross the flames to get to them.

The last half hour, First tossed them from one scene to the next without any breaks in the black box. They jumped from the bear to the lions to the elephants to the spiders to the waterfall to the snakes and back to the lions, over and over again. It was dizzying, but Kirk focused on giving a convincing performance of growing exhaustion.

Spock said they were down to two minutes when First put them into the bear scene. Kirk guessed he was going to stick to the script for the finale, so he failed to throw Spock clear. The next moment, they were in the last lion scene. Kirk let the lion tackle him. Spock subdued it one last time, and they were back in the black boxes.

Kirk leaned against the wall, well-satisfied. It would take him a while to calm down, and he needed to keep moving, or his muscles would stiffen. Except for the chest wounds, he was basically unhurt. He supposed he should attempt to stop the bleeding. Maybe he could rip the rest of his shirt into bandages. Not much room to maneuver in this box though. Five minutes later, he still hadn't attempted to bandage his wounds.

"Captain, are you all right?" It was First's voice.

"Does the master address the slave as 'Captain'?"

"No, but-"

"Sorry. I'm fine, but I thought we agreed you were going to treat us like slaves?"

"Yes, but- If you die, we are lost."

"I'm not dying. Stop worrying."

"I would feel better if Dr. McCoy fixed your wounds."

"Would a slave receive medical attention?"

"Well, no, but-"

"No buts. First, how are you going to survive the next days and weeks, if you're constantly worrying about my survival? Trust Jesus to take care of me."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kirk spent the next day and a half in that box. First did not again talk to him. He spent much of the time sleeping, the rest of it praying and doing isometric exercises. Suddenly he found himself in an outdoor cage. Within moments, he was joined by the other six. With seven of them, it was standing room only. But Kirk managed to get to each of them, look into their eyes, and assure himself they were all doing okay.

McCoy made the rounds also, getting to Kirk last. He took a long look at Kirk's chest with its makeshift bandage. Rewrapping the wound with the rest of Kirk's shirt, he muttered, "Not a bad job, considering. If it doesn't get infected, it'll probably heal, provided you live that long."

"Such encouraging words, Bones. How is everybody?"

"Mild dehydration. Nothing serious, yet."

"Everybody escaped unscathed from all that wild stuff?"

"Not counting cuts, scrapes, and bruises, yes."

Spock interrupted their conversation. "Captain, I must apologize."

"For what, Spock?"

"The thing which I forgot to consider was predictable."

"And that is?"

"Our host cannot resist playing with the subjects."

Kirk laughed. "I thought it was great! Not boring."

McCoy snorted. "You would think that!"

They spent hours in that cage. It was elevated from its surroundings, so they could see for some distance. They could also be seen. They saw slaves of all seven races, some in groups, others mingling freely. Many stopped to stare at them, but only for a minute or two. Then they would hurry on, furtively looking over their shoulder at some unseen watcher. Nowhere did they see any of First's people. From the location of various buildings, and the flow of people, Kirk deduced the cage was located in a central plaza.

As the hours wore on, daylight dwindled. People seemed to be gathering in the plaza, and the focus of their attention was clearly the cage. Suddenly they were blinded by floodlights shining in their faces. Kirk forced himself not to cover his eyes, or even squint. Though he could no longer see the crowd, he could hear their heightened interest. Something was about to happen.

But it didn't. For an hour, they stared at the blinding lights. Finally someone in the crowd yelled, "Who are you?"

"My name is Jim."

This caused a stir, Kirk guessed, because the universal translator rendered his response in the language of the question.

"What are you?" This question from a different source.

"We are humans." Silent apology to Spock.

This caused an even greater stir, because question and answer had been in a different language than the first.

"Where are you from?" This in a third language.

"Another planet far away."

A subdued uproar ensued. The first questioner called for silence, then directed others to ask a question. Four more questions and answers followed, each in a different language. The questions were duplicates of those already asked.

An uneasy silence came over the crowd, followed by quiet muttering. Definite fear overtones, not anger. Suddenly, one of them stepped in front of the floodlights and faced Kirk. All Kirk could see however, was his silhouette. It was one of the race Sulu would be sent to.

"They will kill me for this, but you must not let them know you have all languages."

"Let who know?" Kirk responded.

"The Watchers. They see everything."

"Then they already know, don't they?"

"You are marked for death, I am sure. But the others-" He shrugged a question.

"Aren't we all going to die?"

"They will work you as long as you are useful. But you - you are too dangerous. If they do not kill you, you could help us."

"Help you do what?"

"I cannot say. And it's no use; they will kill you. They will kill me too."

"If your life is forfeit anyway, then tell me something useful."

Before there could be any response, the figure disappeared. The crowd gasped, and backed away in fear. Kirk turned to Spock.

"What are the odds this cage is not wired for sound?"

"Virtually nonexistent, Captain."

xxxx

The night hours wore on. The crowds dispersed, but the floodlights stayed on. Kirk ordered a two-hour rest shift for each in turn. McCoy first, then Uhura, Scotty, and Chekov. Arranging their feet to allow for Scotty's bulk to lie on the floor was a bit of a challenge, but they managed it, with Kirk and Spock each standing on one foot. Those standing leaned against one another, and the night passed slowly.

Shortly after dawn, the floodlights were turned off. Within an hour, a contingent of slaves approached the cage. There were six of them. They stopped about twenty feet from the cage and formed a circle facing inward. As Kirk watched, Uhura appeared within the circle. Glancing around, he saw that she was not in the cage anymore. She looked up at them, but was quickly herded away.

Every hour or two, Kirk lost another of his crew. Each was taken the same way, and by the slave group they had agreed upon. By mid-afternoon, Kirk was alone in the cage. There had been no goodbyes; it would not do to give away the fact that they knew who was about to disappear.

Three hours went by and nothing happened. Kirk began to wonder if they were in fact just going to kill him. First would try to prevent it if he knew, but Kirk had no idea if First would find out about it in time to do him any good. But there was absolutely nothing he could do, so he determined not to worry about it. He lay down and slept.

He woke when the floodlights came on. He sat up and looked around, but again he could see nothing, and no one approached him. He could hear that there were people watching him, but the crowd seemed smaller than the night before. He stood up and stretched his muscles. He sensed that he was on display, but could not fathom the reason. He just quietly waited. An hour or two went by.

Suddenly he found himself elsewhere. No flicker of surprise showed on his face. That quiet pose of waiting remained undisturbed. Though he could as yet see nothing, he sensed that he was in an enclosed room, and that there were bodies close by. One of them spoke.

"Do you understand my language?"

"Yes."

"Do not move, or we will kill you."

Someone came up behind him and dropped a chain over his head. He expected them to cinch it tight, but they didn't. This necklace could be removed at will.

"That is your ID disk. Wear it at all times. If you don't, you die. I don't know who you were before, and I don't care. From now on, you are #46529. Memorize it now. You will be required to say it hundreds of times a day. If you don't, you die. Say it now."

"46529."

"Say, 'I am number 46529.'"

"I am number 46529."

"Remember it. If you don't, you die."

It was beginning to sound monotonous. There followed half a dozen instructions he was expected to remember and obey. If not... Nothing was said, however, about the means of death. Finally, he was admonished that his every word and action would be watched.

He was assigned the job of janitor, garbage collector, and sewage disposer. He was to keep his assigned communal facility spotless 24 hours a day. The facility was used by three different shifts of ten men each. He could eat during each of the one-hour periods the facility was in use. Any rest he got would be after he had finished cleaning. It took him four hours the first time, three hours the second, and two and a half the third. His supervisor noticed immediately, and assigned him two bathroom facilities the second day. By the end of the second day, he had his time down to one and a half hours each. They gave him four bathrooms the third day, which he did in one hour each.

The fourth day he got six bathrooms. But one look at them told Kirk it was going to be a long day. They had ganged up on him and trashed all six bathrooms. With filth everywhere, it was going to be a real challenge to get them presentable before shift change. Working feverishly and cutting corners he thought might not be noticed, he finished just minutes before inspection. The supervisor found him resting on the floor in the corridor.

"Number 46529!"

Kirk scrambled to his feet and came to attention.

"Yes, sir! I am number 46529, sir!"

"Your work is sloppy today! What is the meaning of this?!"

"No excuse, sir!" To tell of the mess was not the way this game was played. At least, Kirk assumed the rules were the same in this culture.

"You're on report, and see that it doesn't happen again!"

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"Nothing, sir."

"That's not true. Answer the question."

"I was thanking you for the correction, sir. I wish to know when my work is not satisfactory, so that I may avoid repeating errors."

The supervisor looked startled, then left without another word, as the corridor filled with those arriving to use the facilities. Kirk lay down to rest, deciding food was lesser in importance at the moment. The second shift made an even worse mess than the first, but Kirk had thought of one or two ways to make the work go faster. So again, he finished just before inspection, and this time without cutting any corners on the quality of his work.

By the end of third shift, he had had nothing to eat and virtually no rest, but the facilities were once again clean. After inspection, the supervisor again approached him. They exchanged the ritual recitation of his numbered identity.

"So, I see you've corrected the problem. Tell me, do you work better when you do not eat?"

"No, sir."

Kirk sensed this man was genuinely puzzled, and not nearly as hostile as he tried to appear. But he asked no more questions, and Kirk did not feel free to volunteer information. So he prayed for him.

"Today you are assigned all ten facilities."

He looked for a reaction in Kirk's face: anger, dismay, or anything. Not a flicker.

"See that you do a good job."

"Yes, sir."

The supervisor turned away, and Kirk grinned in amusement at his retreating back. So, they were trying to break him. If even half of them were trashed, there would not be sufficient time to finish the job. His mind automatically began trying to think of ways to conquer the increased workload.

But the bathrooms were not trashed. He finished all ten in just over five hours. With three hours of rest, and a meal, Kirk was feeling good. Shortly after second shift began, the supervisor walked in on his work. After the ritual greeting, the supervisor told him to continue his work. The man watched him for over an hour. Two hours later, he was back, and another man was with him. Again he was told to continue working. This time they only stayed about twenty minutes.

Having finished his work, he was sound asleep when the supervisor returned. But being accustomed to being wakened suddenly without notice, he showed no distress at the disturbance of his sleep. After the ritual greeting, the supervisor asked an odd question.

"Can you teach what I saw you do today?"

"You mean, how to clean a bathroom in thirty minutes? I can certainly explain it. Whether others can learn it depends on several factors. Who do you want me to teach, and how much time do I get?"

"Very little time. Unless I am mistaken, you are going to get promoted beyond my reach tomorrow. But since you have proved that it can be done, I will now be expected to do with one man what ten could not effectively do before. Today is all the time there is, so can you teach me?"

"Techniques are one thing; motivation is quite another. I can teach you the techniques, and if you're willing to get your hands dirty, you can probably learn them in a few hours. But you will not get long-term excellence in the quality of work performed as long as your people are operating out of a fear-based motivation."

"I don't understand."

"The threat of 'do it or die' only works in the crisis of immediate consequences."

"But- you did it."

Kirk laughed. "You think I worked my tail off yesterday because I was afraid you would kill me if I didn't?"

"Aren't you?"

"I'm not afraid of you, or the Watchers."

"You haven't seen them, or what they do."

"Have you?"

"I've seen what they do to the Speaker."

"Who's the Speaker?"

"You'll find out tomorrow."

Kirk spent the rest of his rest break explaining and illustrating his cleaning techniques. Much of it was simply economy of motion principles. He never allowed himself a wasted motion. The biggest time-saver was running the sewage pumper at the same time as he did the rest of the cleaning. The funniest was using the shower head to hose down the walls. He himself got soaking wet in the process, but it was fun.

At Kirk's suggestion, the supervisor called in four people for Kirk to train during third shift. The supervisor would watch and listen.

"Give me three hours with them. If necessary, I can redo everything afterwards. Pay particular attention to their level of motivation, and how and why it changes."

The four men arrived and the ritual ID greeting took only moments. The supervisor gave Kirk authority.

"For the next three hours, you will do exactly as #46529 tells you. If you don't-" He stopped, flustered.

Kirk chuckled. "-I will _not_ kill you. But you will miss out on what promises to be an interesting evening. Because if you do not obey me, I will summarily dismiss you from the remainder of this training session. Is that clear?"

He fixed each of them with a steely glare, and got wary nods in response.

He grinned. "All right then. Who wants to volunteer to be first?"

No response. They weren't that stupid. He picked one at random.

"You. Come with me. The rest of you stay out here and listen carefully. Your turn will come."

Taking his chosen victim into the bathroom, he explained.

"This is what I want you to do. Watch very carefully everything I do. Second, laugh loudly and continually, so that no one in the corridor can hear what I am doing."

For the next half hour, Kirk cleaned and his trainee laughed. He did the same with each trainee in turn. Then he put two of them together, one to clean and one to laugh, telling the one laughing to make note of anything the cleaner did differently from what he had done. Then he switched teams so that each of them had a turn at being cleaner. With thirty minutes left, he sat them down in the corridor and asked them what they had learned.

Each was eager to tell of the mistakes they had seen. Kirk let them argue with each other on several points as to which was right. He settled the disputes by telling what he had done, but pointing out that alternative methods were acceptable, as long as the result passed inspection.

"Anything else? Any questions?"

"I've never had such a good time. I didn't know cleaning bathrooms could be fun!"

Others expressed similar sentiment.

"What made it fun?" Kirk asked.

"You did! At first I thought it was ridiculous to be told to laugh. But the more I watched you, the easier it got. You were so funny: making all those faces, carrying on, and playing with the shower hose."

Someone else interrupted. "At one point, I thought he was going to squirt me. But he didn't; he squirted himself and just laughed."

Kirk grinned. "I was tempted, but I didn't know if you would think it was funny."

"When it was my turn to clean, I decided to see if I could copy your attitude, not just your actions. I was surprised how easy it was." This from a third trainee.

"Our time is up. Thank you, gentlemen, for participating in our little experiment tonight. I have nothing further, so with the permission of #40712, you're free to go."

After they left, Kirk answered 40712's questions for another half hour. In spite of repeated explanations, he could not understand how Kirk had made it fun. Finally, Kirk volunteered to show him. He watched while Kirk cleaned one of the remaining bathrooms. Kirk didn't tell him to laugh, but he did.

"But you didn't do all this carrying on yesterday, did you?"

"Of course not. I wasn't trying to motivate anybody yesterday."

"But you were motivated."

"I don't need external motivation. I'm internally motivated."

"Another thing: why did you tell them to laugh?"

"I wanted to build curiosity in those who were listening. I wanted them to think their fellow trainee was having a great time cleaning the bathroom. At the same time, everybody likes a secret. I wanted the one laughing to think that I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing. Especially they would not tell that I was doing all the work. But also, when they were back in the corridor, they would listen carefully to see if they could tell what I was doing by sound. In that way, they would review in their minds every step of the job, without realizing they were doing it."

"You are sneaky." The supervisor chuckled.

"It worked, didn't it?" Kirk grinned.

"Yes, I guess it did. So now I've got four guys who know how. Mind if I watch you again? You've got one more to do."

"You need to ask? Feel free. With or without shenanigans?"

"Without."

Kirk dispatched the last bathroom with ease. 40712 did the inspections, and Kirk cleaned up the few things the others had not done to his satisfaction.

"You know, a week ago, I would have passed this work. You've raised my expectations. Everybody else I've had in this job has done his best to do as little work as possible. I understand that. It's you I don't understand."

"I like to work, and I like a job to be well done. I don't want my stamp of ownership on sloppy work."

"That reminds me, I didn't know about yesterday. The only reason I found out is they couldn't believe you had cleaned it up so well that I couldn't tell."

"Don't they do that to everybody?"

"No, they don't. Occasionally somebody uses it to get revenge, but it almost always backfires. The culprit gets the ax."

"You kill for a prank like that?!"

"We can't tolerate disrespect for authority. Anyway, they probably decided they could get away with this, because they're too many to kill."

"Why would they risk it? I haven't been here long enough to acquire enemies."

"You're an alien. They don't like you; they don't trust you."

"And you do?"

"I've liked you since yesterday. Two reasons: I seldom see maximum effort, but I appreciate it for what it is. It took everything you had to get those bathrooms clean in time. Secondly, you refused to tell me what was going on, even after they did it three times in a row."

"It's true that I assumed you knew. But it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Where I come from, the new guy is expected to take whatever's dished out without complaining, and the more unfair the better."

"Well, you better go get something to eat. Tomorrow's rest day."

"Rest day?"

"Didn't they tell you? Every seventh day there's no work. You won't be cleaning bathrooms tomorrow. Kitchen's closed all day. First eight hours is mandatory rest - that's lying down on your bunk. You haven't got one, so you rest here in the corridor.

"After that is the big meeting - also mandatory. Usually lasts quite a few hours. The rest of the day is free time - you can go anywhere, do anything, just as long as you're at your post first thing the next day. But if I were you, I'd lay low. There's no telling what they might do to you."

"Thanks for the advice. Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"Does the whole planet have rest day on the same day?"

"Yes, but why- Oh, you're hoping to see your people? I wouldn't count on it. I got the impression they wanted you separated, for good."

"It seemed to me that they let the different peoples mingle freely."

"They do, at least for those who've earned a lot more free time than you have. But we can't talk to them; we don't understand each other. The Watchers want it that way. They've made that very clear."

"Divide and conquer. It's a very old principle, and it works."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kirk got himself a meal, took a shower, removed the dressing on his chest wounds, tried to dry his clothes, and lay down to rest, just as the shift bell announced the beginning of rest day. He slept soundly. Waking with the shift bell, he followed the crowds to a large meeting room he had not been in before. He sat in the back and surveyed those assembled. Between three and four hundred were gathered. Three distinct groups were identifiable by their manner and attire: supervisors, those who worked the three shifts, and support staff. He put himself in the third category, and low man at that. The meeting began.

The first order of business was disciplinary actions. After several introductory platitudes about doing this so the Watchers wouldn't exercise the 'final discipline', they called up various ones in turn, read the infraction, and the worker's supervisor administered the punishment on the spot while all watched. Pretty effective deterrent, Kirk thought.

The means of punishment was some kind of electronic wand whose tip delivered a measured level of pain. The most common infraction was disorderly conduct, and its standard punishment was five at level 5. But the supervisor had some discretion to alter either the quantity or level or both. And the supervisors tried their best to induce fear in the victim. Some responded with stoicism, others with hysteria.

The second most common infraction was unsatisfactory work. The standard punishment for this was ten at level 5. Apparently the supervisors were more concerned about sloppy work than rough-housing. Suddenly he heard his own number called. As he made his way forward, the undercurrent indicated a definite increase in audience interest. He reached the platform at the same time as 40712 did.

Kirk smiled and spoke quietly. "Make it good; this is the show they want to see."

40712 looked startled, but said nothing.

The infraction was read; 40712 said, "ten at five"; Kirk started to remove his uniform jacket. Someone in the audience protested.

"How do we know what the wand will do to him? He's an alien!"

Kirk looked at 40712. "He's got a point. But I'm sure the effect will be greater on bare skin than through clothes, so how much of this do you want me to take off?"

Kirk took off the jacket and dropped it at his feet, revealing the fresh chest wounds.

"That's enough." 40712 walked all the way around Kirk, seeing all the whiplash scars. He turned and looked Kirk in the eye. "You're not afraid of this." It wasn't a question.

Kirk smiled. "So, touch me. Find out if it has any effect on me."

He didn't even look at the wand as 40712 slowly raised it and touched it briefly to Kirk's stomach. No hint of a reaction in Kirk.

"I would describe it as a burning sensation, rather than, say, a sting or stabbing. Does it actually damage the skin?"

"No. At least it's not supposed to. I don't know about yours."

"Doesn't matter. I was just curious. So how high does that thing go? If that was level 5, what's the max? And does it get worse if you increase the duration of contact?"

"Yes, it does. And the maximum level is 10."

"Turn it all the way up, and double or triple the quantity and duration."

"You mock our discipline system!"

"No, I'm not," Kirk quickly denied. "Just making allowances for my alien physiology," he explained.

"All right then. thirty at 10, five second duration. Cover your eyes with this; put your hands on your head. You can scream all you want, but if you move, I start over and double the duration."

The crowd gasped; Kirk just smiled; 40712 was working himself into a real anger. Kirk understood why, and didn't blame him. He was going to need that anger before they were done. Kirk stood silent, relaxed, and motionless through twenty-nine five-second intervals. Then he deliberately and audibly shifted his feet.

"You did that on purpose!" 40712 was really angry now.

Kirk didn't reply, but maintained his quiet smile. The second round at ten-second intervals was much more interesting. Getting cruel and sneaky, 40712 varied the time between touches to try to catch Kirk by surprise. He found extra sensitive places to touch: the chest wounds, the fingertips, the face, ears, neck, armpits. He was doing his level best to break Kirk's control. Which was exactly what Kirk wanted him to do. He wanted the crowd thoroughly convinced that he could take anything. Then maybe they would believe he could be Speaker.

When it was finished, Kirk was soaked with sweat, and tears were streaming down his cheeks, but he was still smiling, and he had not so much as twitched for over ten minutes. He took off the now soggy blindfold and returned it to 40712. With a warm smile and a soft "Thank you," Kirk picked up his jacket and returned to his seat.

The second item of business concerned a group of newcomers. They had arrived that morning, and needed to be ranked and placed. Called to the front, they were given special chairs while the audience viewed the footage from their ID disks. Kirk watched with interest. The creatures and landscapes were different. The ways the group handled each crisis were different. But the basic nature of the test was the same. This group had lasted three hours before succumbing to chaos and confusion. The supervisors showed selected parts of the tape, discussed it among themselves, and decided to assign the entire group to third shift with a rank of four. Everyone was satisfied, and the group returned to their seats.

"What about #46529?" someone in the crowd yelled an objection. "What's his rank? We want to see his tape." Others chimed in.

The head supervisor cut them off. "He's already been placed. His rank is not up for consideration."

"We want to see his tape anyway. Show us the alien's tape!" They were starting to get belligerent.

"All right," the head supervisor acquiesced. "But it won't change anything. We've received special instructions about him. #46529! Come up here."

Kirk went, sat in the proffered chair, and handed over his ID disk. The head supervisor inserted the disk into the reader, glanced at the data screen, did a double take, and stared at it in obvious shock. Then he turned to Kirk, without having showed any of the tape on the big screen. He stared at Kirk for a long moment, aware that this man posed a serious threat to his own position. Kirk looked back with a mildly curious expression on his face. The supervisor turned to the audience.

"This man's tape will have to be reviewed in closed session of Rank 8 and up." The crowd muttered angrily. "I do not wish to incur the wrath of the Watchers. I told you before, we have special instructions about him. After all, he's not one of us." They still weren't satisfied. "I promise you, if the Watchers permit, I'll let you see as much as you want of his tape - next week." His tone brooked no argument, and the crowd subsided.

The supervisor indicated Kirk was to stay where he was. Nor was his ID disk returned. They continued with the business of the day, with a list of numbers who were to report to various other numbers for reassignment. Kirk's number was not called. Finally he came to the end of the list.

"Alternate Speaker this week: #42831."

Someone in the crowd gasped, then began to moan. He was escorted by supervisors to a chair on Kirk's left.

"This week's Speaker is #41624."

This one tried to be stoic about it, but his terror was obvious in his face and body language as he took the seat on Kirk's right. Kirk wished he could volunteer on the spot, but he wasn't supposed to know anything about this, so he kept silent.

"We will now pay tribute to last week's Speakers. #43289 lasted five days."

They played a tape containing footage of the Speaker's five encounters with the Watcher. This was surely part of the intimidation tactics. Graphic details combined with closeups of the Speaker's face contributed to everyone's fear of being Speaker. In fact, it was clear they were all terrified of the possibility of any direct contact with a Watcher. No wonder the threat of death was used as a deterrent. They clearly thought this an awful way to die. And it undoubtedly was.

This man's tape was finished, and they played the tape of the alternate, who only lasted two days. Now, perhaps, Kirk could volunteer.

"Excuse me, sir," Kirk stood. "Can I volunteer to be Speaker, instead of these?"

The supervisor was shocked and angry. "Be silent! You know not of what you speak! Sit down!"

Kirk didn't. "I don't want anybody else to die like that." He gestured at the screen.

"You think I like it?! You think any of us is here by choice!? You're on report for disorderly conduct!" He gestured at two supervisors. "Get him out of here."

They hustled him out a side door, down a corridor, and into a small conference room. They stood inside the door, barring his exit, and just waited. Kirk tried to draw them into conversation, but they wouldn't. He might have been able to take them out and escape, but that would have been counterproductive. So he sat in a chair idly observing his guards.

The one on the right had a slightly broader nose than the other, though he hadn't noticed nose variations on the race in general. This race was all of the same general body type - at least the ones brought to First's planet. They were slightly taller than he was, with disproportionately long legs and arms. On a human, it would have looked gangly, but these guys were mostly quite graceful. And they were all guys - Kirk hadn't seen a single female among them. Their skin was made of hard armor-like plates, except for the hands, feet, face, and joints.

The guard that wasn't Broad-nose began tapping his foot, as if nervous or irritated with the wait. Shortly thereafter, the head supervisor walked in, followed by another. This one was visibly shorter than the others. Shorty sat down next to Kirk, Broad-nose and Foot-tapper across from them, with the head supervisor at the end.

He came right to the point. "Gentlemen, we have a problem." He tossed Kirk's ID disk into the center of the table. "According to this, the alien's team lasted eight hours." Dropped jaws on all sides. "You heard me, eight hours. I will not be ruled by an alien!"

"How do you plan to prevent it?" Shorty asked, glancing sideways at Kirk.

"I don't know yet."

"Shouldn't we watch the tape? Maybe there's an error," Broad-nose suggested.

"And what about the instructions? Why didn't they tell us about this?" Foot-tapper argued.

"Why me?" This from the head. "Why didn't they send him to some other unit?"

Shorty answered him. "You know why. Ours is the most stable. You've been head for three years."

"It was bound to happen sooner or later. They don't want us too entrenched." Broad-nose didn't seem terribly upset.

"Excuse me," interrupted Kirk. "Would you mind telling me what this is about?"

Dead silence.

"He'll find out sooner or later." Foot-tapper wasn't nearly as laid-back as his words tried to imply.

Shorty sat forward and confronted the head. "You want him to have to do it the way you did?"

"As I recall, the Watchers were none too happy about the civil war in this unit," Broad-nose quietly reminded them.

"All right, all right, I'll tell him." He turned to Kirk. "According to your ID, you outrank us all. Under the proper procedure, you take over my job. If I don't let you, we have war. I might succeed in killing you, but after what happened the last time, the Watchers would be just as likely to kill us all, and start with a clean slate of leaders."

"How is it that I outrank you? I just got here."

"Everybody is given a test when they arrive. The results of that test determine your rank. J'ot and J'kam here lasted 4.2 hours; they're Rank 8." He gestured to Foot-tapper and Broad-nose, respectively. "J'bit is Rank 9 at 4.3 hours." That was Shorty. "I'm Rank 10 with 4.35 hours. How could anyone last eight hours?!"

"It didn't seem all that difficult at the time. But I have another question. Why do we have to have war? What if I don't want your job?"

"You don't have any choice. They won't let you abdicate, and I don't mean the Watchers, I mean the entire unit. Strength and endurance are the most valued commodities we have. They will not be ruled by anyone other than the very best."

"Even if that one is an alien?" Kirk asked quietly.

"I don't know, but probably. You saw them today. The only reason they argued to see your tape is because of the mockery you made of the discipline wand."

"I'm sorry. But, can I be Speaker?" Kirk asked abruptly.

"What?! Do you have a death wish?" the head supervisor retorted.

"I won't die!" Kirk insisted.

"All Speakers die, doesn't matter what race they are. The only variable is how long it takes."

"Who decides who's going to be Speaker?"

"I do," the head supervisor admitted. "It's the one hard thing about this job."

"So, I take over your job, and make myself Speaker."

"You can't do that!"

"Why not? Is there a law against it?"

"Not that I know of. Nobody would be that stupid!"

Kirk just smiled and took no offense. "So what's the procedure for turning leadership over to me?"

"You're crazy!"

"Maybe. The worst that can happen is you'll be proved right, and get your job back in short order."

"But you can't be Speaker and Leader both, at the same time. Speakers are unconscious most of the time."

"I won't be, but just as a precaution, I'll delegate authority for you to run things in my absence."

There was silence as the head supervisor processed that idea. "You mean for me to be your second in command?"

"Of course. I don't know anything about running this unit. You do."

"I expected you to slate me for the Speaker's job. It would solidify your position."

"Not a chance. Can we get this done fast enough to save those two guys you picked today?"

"No. The procedure is this. First we, the four of us, have to view your tape in its entirety. If we verify its authenticity, we bring you and it to the next business meeting, that's seven days from now. We present you to the unit. Very likely they will want to see the tape in its entirety also. Only when they confirm you as Leader do you have the authority to act."

"Does this take place before or after the rest of the week's business? Specifically, before or after you announce next week's Speakers?"

"Normally, afterwards. Perhaps we could do everything except the Speakers. When they realize what's going on, they will expect your first action to be to name myself and J'bit as the week's Speakers."

"Will that expectation incline them towards refusing to confirm the change?"

"Not likely. Knowledge that you plan to name yourself as Speaker might. They won't understand that anymore than I do. They may feel betrayed; I don't know."

"And will you tell them ahead of time?"

"Would you?" The head supervisor turned the question back on Kirk.

"Yes; I want them to trust me. That trust is more important than saving individual lives. I will do both if I can. But I will not lie to them about my intentions."

"You are a most unusual man. I find myself very curious about your tape. How did you go about surviving?"

"Feel free to ask questions after you see it. I guess I have to stay and watch too. Wake me up if I fall asleep."

"That reminds me," interrupted J'bit, "Those instructions - what do we do about that in light of this?"

The head supervisor spread his hands in a gesture that Kirk interpreted as a shrug. "Good question. I don't know. Maybe they'll tell us tomorrow."

"Excuse me, but you've mentioned those instructions several times. What did they say about me, if I may ask?" Kirk kept the inquiry mild.

"In addition to announcing your arrival, they said we were to arrange it so that you had no free time. Most especially, under pain of death, you were not to be permitted to leave this building."

"Makes sense. They don't want me to communicate with any of my people. It seemed to me they were each taken by a different race. Divide and conquer works every time. But tell me, is there anything about your job or the Speaker's job that requires leaving this building?"

"The Speaker leaves and returns, but not on his own power."

"Same way I got here. The Watchers control that. Any other need to leave?"

"No. And the Speaker isn't in any condition to go anywhere. But as Leader, no one can deny you free time or freedom of movement."

"The Watchers can. I'll not risk reprisals just for the privilege of going for a walk. And my people know how to function without me. No, I'll stay here, so stop worrying about it. One other question, though. What do you want me to do between now and next week - clean bathrooms?"

"The unit would think me the lowest of the low. I would deserve to be Speaker."

"I don't mind. Somebody has to do it."

"I was going to transfer you to the kitchen, but the unit's view of dishwashers is almost as bad as bathroom cleaners. But if I assign you to a regular duty shift, the Watchers could well interpret that as disobeying orders. Also the unit wouldn't understand why I had promoted you out of rank one work. You'd be thoroughly persecuted."

"That's been done before." Kirk grinned. "And you could assign me two duty shifts. I don't think I can work all three, and keep it up all week, but two should be easy. But I don't mind washing dishes either. Whatever you want is fine with me."

"Okay. I'll assign you to Shifts 2 and 3. But tomorrow morning, I want you to see the Speaker's job for what it is. After tomorrow, you'll need to sleep during first shift. That means you'll need a bunk too. J'kam, see to it."

They adjourned to the large meeting room, which was deserted. Locking the doors, they settled in to watch Kirk's eight-hour tape. He dozed through much of it. He didn't know these men well enough to be able to judge the tape the way they would see it. His interest perked when they approached the end, because he wanted to see if he thought the exhaustion was believable. It was, except for one fatal flaw. He wondered if they would catch it. J'ot did.

"Stop the tape. Back it up to- there. See that?"

They were looking at Kirk inside the black box. He had forgotten about the infrared camera. It couldn't read his facial expression, but the body outline alone proved he was not exhausted. He had spent the black box time in a position of readiness, never knowing how many seconds he had.

"Does he look exhausted to you? Now advance it one frame at a time. There- Stop it right there. See that. He's just realized where he is. Now look; less than a second later, he's slumped in exhaustion. He's faking it! Why?"

"Save your questions," responded the head. "Let's finish the tape first."

The last thirty minutes, Kirk was almost as riveted as they were. Without the black box interruptions, the performance was smooth and very believable. But he was going to have to have a believable explanation for the fake, in about thirty seconds.

The head turned off the screen, and returned the ID to Kirk. He stood looking at Kirk in silence for several long moments.

"We have many questions, but first, this: I verify the authenticity of this tape, and acknowledge your right to lead me. What say you, J'bit?"

Each of the other three repeated the ritual words. Then the head continued.

"I owe you a deep apology. I should have played the tape for all to see. But I was afraid. I will publicly apologize. I will submit to your personal discipline in front of the unit. I deserve the worst humiliation you can devise." By this time, he was on his knees in front of Kirk. "But I cannot take back orders that I have given. I will no longer argue with you about being Speaker, though I still think you will die. But you cannot be Speaker until next week."

"Stand up." Kirk also rose, and looked the man in the eye. "I accept your apology, given in private. I do not want any public apology. As to public discipline, as I recall, you have me on report for disorderly conduct. And rightly so; I was speaking out of turn, and I knew it. You will have to administer that discipline, and if you consider that to be humiliation, then so be it.

"Furthermore, don't think you're going to get off with a light sentence. A second offense on the heels of the first discipline means I obviously didn't get the message. So you're looking at 120 at 10 with 20 second intervals. It'll take an hour, which is a long time for them to have to watch, but I'm afraid you're stuck with it. Have to uphold the integrity of the system. And don't look so shocked; you could tickle me with that thing all day without getting a reaction out of me."

"But- when the wand touches us, it's agony. Doesn't it hurt you?"

"Yes, it hurts. But agony is relative. And I am very stubborn."

"Are all your people like you? You think nothing of levels of endurance that we hardly dream of."

"One among us is so far in advance of what I can do that it is child's play to him. The others cannot do what I can, because they have not been trained to it. The innate ability is there, I am sure, but it has not been tested."

"But you all lasted eight hours. If even one of you had fallen apart, the test would have been over. As far as I could see, none of you were falling apart. They just quit; I've never seen a test end that way."

J'ot asked, "What about the faked exhaustion? Can you explain that?"

"Sure. The stuff going on in that test, we've all been trained for. It's the pain endurance that they haven't been trained in. Nevertheless, I knew there was a limit to how much they could take. Spock and I could have gone on for days, but not the rest of them. I didn't want to lose somebody in one of those scenes, due to an exhaustion-induced accident. I was the only one with a serious injury, so it made sense for me to exhibit growing fatigue."

"What about the end, well, almost the end? You didn't throw the other man clear. But you could have, couldn't you?"

"Yes, I could have. But to be believable, the exhaustion had to be every bit as real as if I really were. I was ready to let the bear maul my back, just as the lion did to my chest. Interesting, they proved they weren't willing to let the test kill me. I don't know why not."

They asked several questions about individual scenes and the interaction between his people. He freely satisfied their curiosity, showing by illustration his leadership style, as well as principles of teamwork based on trust, rather than fear. As the conversation wound to a halt, Kirk raised a question of his own.

"Before we call it quits for the night, I have a question for you." He looked straight at the head. "What is your name?"

"Do you understand what you are asking?"

"I think so." Kirk held his eyes. He was asking for the man's trust. The Watchers didn't approve the use of names rather than numbers, but they obviously didn't entirely forbid it. Kirk was asking to be included in the close circle that used names.

"I am J'orn. I swear you have my allegiance. I will follow you anywhere."

"Be careful what you promise. My name is Jim. And I promise you this: I will lead your people as if they were my own."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

J'kam gave him a bunk in the supervisor's quarters, explaining that since he would be working two shifts, he could not bunk with either of them.

"Won't make you popular, but it can't be helped."

Kirk then asked permission to spend what time was left with the Speaker.

"I can take you, but I don't know if he'll agree to see you, even for a few minutes, much less hours. These are his last lucid moments. He may not want to spend them with you, and I can't force him."

"I understand."

They walked down another corridor to the Speaker's room. There was a guard posted at the door. J'Kam was admitted alone, but came back for Kirk almost immediately.

Kirk stepped into the room and spoke to the man sitting dejectedly on the bed. "I know you may want to be alone, but I'd appreciate a chance to talk with you."

"You tried to take my place. Why?"

"I wanted to save you from the kind of death I saw in those pictures."

"Even if they had let you, that wouldn't have saved me. I would just have been next after you."

"Is there anything I can do for you now? Anything you especially wish for?"

Kirk was puzzled by his own question, but that was where the Lord was leading.

"I want what all Speakers want, but I doubt you can do anything about it."

"What is it that you want?"

"I want to be able to last a whole week. A few have managed it, most don't. If a Speaker lasts until the next meeting, then his alternate goes free, exempt from recall for a year. To be able to give that gift of a whole year free from fear is my greatest wish."

Now Kirk understood. With this information, he was able to share Who Jesus was, the gift He had given, and how it was to be received. The man gave his life to the Lord that very hour. Then Kirk prayed for him, that he would be able to access the grace to endure with patience, without fear, and with sufficient strength to last the week. Kirk shared Scripture and teaching with him for two hours, trying to give him a crash course in how to deal effectively with what he was facing. The man seemed to understand the concepts, but whether he could walk it out was another matter.

J'orn and J'bit arrived, interrupting their fellowship.

#41624 stood and faced them squarely. "I am ready, sir. What must I do?"

J'orn looked startled at the man's calm confidence. He glanced at Kirk, who merely smiled. They entered an adjoining room which contained no furniture. There was a video screen on the wall, two lights over it, unlit, and a marked square on the floor.

"When the green light starts blinking, you step into the square. After that you don't have to _do_ anything. The Watcher does it all. Some find it easier to cope with eyes closed. The Watcher decides what to include in your tape. My impression is that he does his best to scare you witless, and he records every terror-stricken moment in close-ups of your face. He doesn't care about you; he wants to terrorize the rest of us. It works too.

"By the time you get back here, you'll be unconscious. You have to wake up enough to tell me the instructions. As the days go on, provided you last that long, some of the things I have to do to wake you get pretty drastic. After I get those instructions, you can rest until tomorrow. If there's anything you want, just ask the guard."

At this point, the light came on and started blinking. 41624 immediately stepped into the square. A moment later, he was gone, and the light changed to a steady green. The wall screen lit up, showing 41624 in front of the Watcher. Briefly the screen showed a closeup of his face, calm and unafraid. That was the last closeup they saw, presumably because there was no terror to be seen. Instead they got the Watcher himself in vivid color.

They saw it rake the man's chest with a tentacle. He staggered in pain, but didn't go down. So it attacked again, repeatedly until the man could not rise. Then it began to enclose the man's arms and legs in its tentacles and squeeze. Finally it wrapped the torso and then the head. It planted four tentacles on the man's head, and they saw the body jerk violently when contact was established. Four minutes later, it released him.

The unconscious body was returned to the room they were in. The light went out, but the screen stayed on. J'bit caught the body and eased it to the floor. J'orn moved to his head, and was about to slap him in the face. Kirk stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"May I try something else first?"

"I guess so. This usually works the fastest. The Watcher is waiting."

Kirk knelt by 41624's head, and put his hands on either side of the man's head.

"I command you, pain, to depart from him; in the name of Jesus Christ, you must go. He will wake pain-free and refreshed, now!"

Kirk's hands jerked as a surge of power went through him.

41624 opened his eyes. "What happened?"

"Everything's okay. You're back with us. Do you remember the instructions?"

41624 closed his eyes and began to recite. J'bit wrote down every word. Most of it was numbers. It involved personnel placement, as well as quotas for input and output. There was also what seemed to be a long list of problems that needed to be fixed. _A plumber's nightmare_, Kirk thought. Rather, the inevitable effects of long-term lack of proper motivation, the result of the slave system itself. If this was a typical example, then a possible mutiny wasn't First's only problem.

The recitation wound down to a halt. 41624 opened his eyes. Kirk noticed a red light blinking over the wall screen.

"You've either left something out, or gotten some detail wrong," J'orn instructed. "The Watcher gives you one minute to correct the error. Otherwise, he takes you back and does it again."

"There was one other thing, but it was separate from all the rest - almost in a different voice, but not audible with my ears. It's about the alien." He glanced at Kirk and continued. "The voice said, 'You are not under the control of the alien. He should not be permitted in the Speaker's rooms. Give 46529 no free time. Guard him well, or you know the consequences.'"

The red light blinked off; the screen went dark. J'orn sighed; J'bit helped 41624 to his feet. They all returned to the other room, which constituted 41624's quarters.

"The Watcher is afraid of me," Kirk volunteered. "He doesn't like my influence on 41624. He knows no other way than fear and intimidation."

"You call it a 'he'?" J'orn noticed. "And we don't know anything besides fear either. What did you do to 41624?"

"You heard what I said. His pain is gone. Jesus Christ healed him."

"I don't know who you're talking about, but I meant before, not after. No one can face the Watcher without fear. What did you do to him?"

"I didn't do it; Jesus did. I'd be happy to tell you about it, but right now, you'd probably be safer from the Watcher if you didn't know. 41624 had nothing to lose. Speaking of the Watcher, you'd better kick me out of here. And what are you going to do about the 'no free time'? Want to send me to the kitchen after all?"

"No. The order has been given. The Watcher knows I can't reassign you until next week."

"Then what is he telling you?"

"He doesn't like the fact that I have given you my allegiance. He's trying to tell me that until next week, I don't take orders from you, and I would do well to remember that I'm still accountable."

"I got the impression he meant something much more specific, but you've got a lot of experience interpreting instructions, whereas I don't. Anyway, I better go now."

J'orn looked at Kirk's retreating back. _He'll be lucky to survive the week_, he thought. _But I will give him a few hours sleep today, and the Watcher will be on my case about it, but not until tomorrow. And maybe I can put off implementing those orders until after he's slept tomorrow. That still leaves four days non-stop work. No one could survive that, but maybe I'm wrong about the Watcher's intentions._

xxxx

Kirk's first view of the processing plant staggered him mostly because of the smell. He had known this race processed sewage. Indeed, he had chosen this for himself, so that none of the others would have to deal with this. Nonetheless, the stench was overpowering. He supposed he would get used to it in time.

He walked out onto the vast plant floor. At one end were five enormous elevated vats. Into these, the mobile units deposited the contents of their tanks. Around the top edge of each vat was a scaffold upon which walked a man who stirred the contents of the vat with a long-handled wooden paddle.

A second man sat on the edge of the vat, and regularly dived into it to remove obstructions from the outflow pipe. This pipe extended outside the vat near the floor, where a third man emptied the contents into a small vat on wheels, which he then took to one of four open tanks, dumped the contents, and returned for another load.

Chemicals were added to the contents of the open tank. Then it sat undisturbed for perhaps half an hour. The fourth and fifth men alternated between two tanks, working on one while the other sat. They lifted the contents out of the tank by the bucketful, and poured it through a sieve into another tank. The solids caught by the sieve were dumped back into the first tank.

Another two men moved the sewage through another series of tanks, each of whose temperature was hotter than the one before. A last man operated the large vat at the far end of the line. This was the cool-down vat. When the gauge showed the contents to be sufficiently cool, this man dived into the vat and opened a release valve to empty the vat.

Kirk reported to his second shift supervisor, and was assigned to the scaffold of one of the vats. It was hot smelly work, and the paddle was heavy and unwieldy. But Kirk set himself the goal of putting his diver out of work. He jogged around the top of that vat for eight hours straight. The only breaks he got were when the diver had to unclog the drain. It happened three times.

From his vantage point, Kirk was able to observe much of what went on. The men on the other scaffolds walked rather than jogged, and that slowly. Their divers worked almost constantly. His supervisor was in charge of all five scaffold walkers, but not of the divers. This same cross-grained supervisory pattern existed throughout the plant. The eight men working his line were controlled by four different supervisors. It was extremely inefficient.

Efficiency was the farthest thing from anyone's mind. Tormenting the alien in their midst was the entertainment of the day. What began as a wide variety of verbal abuse escalated into the physical before the shift was half over. Kirk's diver was the only one with any free time, but he used it to good effect. Obtaining an extra bucket from somewhere, he took to dousing Kirk with the vat contents whenever he came past.

The supervisors ignored it. Kirk did too. Privately he was amused; outwardly he showed no reaction whatsoever. He did not slow his pace as he approached; he did not flinch when doused; he did not even wipe his face of it afterwards. To show his true reaction would have spoiled the show. To get angry would have escalated it, but it was going to be a long week as it was. Besides, he wasn't angry. So, no reaction at all was better than laughter.

For third shift, he was assigned to one of the tanks with chemicals. He was immediately put on report for being late, even though it was obvious to all that it was impossible to get from one post to the other in less than thirty seconds. Oh well, more persecution. That supervisor would be sorry by week's end, but he knew no other way than intimidation. Kirk felt sorry for him, but he would not be intimidated.

He quickly discovered that the chemicals were caustic, and the tank contents burned his skin slightly on contact. By shift end, the skin on his hands and arms was raw and irritated. A bigger problem however, was the lack of flow to the work. It should have been possible to work at an even pace, finishing one tank about the time the other was ready. But because of factors he couldn't control, the work went in uneven spurts of frenzy followed by periods of inactivity.

His supervisor this shift seemed to have it in for him. He was on his case about something for the entire shift. It was impossible to please him. Kirk concentrated on trying to figure out which things were true issues and which were merely persecution. Not an easy task, given his ignorance. Nor could he simply copy what others did, because their performance was by no means exemplary. He survived the eight hours by drawing on the grace to keep his attitude right.

Kirk immensely enjoyed his shower. There was no way to redeem the condition of his clothes, but he tried. And wet, semi-clean clothes were better than the filth he had been living in for the last 16 hours. In the corridor en route to his bunk, he encountered 40712, his supervisor from that first week cleaning bathrooms. The man seemed uncomfortable.

"Greetings. I am number 46529."

"I am number 40712, and I- I am ashamed. I was a coward not to warn you about the discipline. Once it was reported, I couldn't take it back, but I could have told you. I was afraid you wouldn't cooperate with me if you knew what was coming. But much worse than that, I got angry. I allowed my anger free rein, and instead of disciplining you, I tortured you. You must despise me."

He stood dejected, with lowered eyes.

"Look at me," Kirk asked. "Do not condemn yourself. If you had told me, we could have planned ahead, instead of ad-libbing the whole thing, but it turned out all right, so it's no big deal. I tried to tell you what I wanted, but when you announced the 10 at 5, I knew you hadn't gotten the message. So I manipulated you into doing what I wanted. I deliberately tried to make you angry, hoping you would do exactly what you did. I am sorry for using you. Can you forgive me?"

"You wanted me to?! No! You can't possibly! That's crazy! Not the fresh wounds! Not the mouth! I wanted to wipe that smile off your face! I felt like you were laughing at me!"

He covered his face with his hands and turned away. Kirk laid a hand on his shoulder and turned him back.

"Please- I am not laughing now. I feel your anguish. I want to wipe it away. I _did_ want you to do those things. I made you angry on purpose. You are not by nature a mean person; I doubted you would do what I wanted unless you were angry - very thoroughly angry."

"But- but why? And don't give me that nonsense about it not affecting you. I know you were in agony, and you can't convince me otherwise. I'll never forget the sight of your smile while I'm burning your lips."

Kirk sighed. "I will tell you what I'm not telling anyone else. Yes, it was agonizing. It was nowhere near the child's play I made it out to be. It cost me to do that. On the other hand, it's nowhere near the limit of what I can take. I know, because I've crossed that limit more than once. I did it because I want the unit convinced that I can take anything. However, they're not thoroughly enough convinced yet, so they'll be getting another lesson at the next meeting."

"Not from me, they won't!"

"No," Kirk chuckled, "It's two other people, and maybe more before the week is out. But it's not your problem. Would it be all right if I pray for you?"

"Pray? What's that?"

"It's harmless. And it would take too long to explain."

"Then what are you asking me?"

"Prayer works better if I have your consent."

"How can I say yes, if I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Trust me?"

40712 looked at Kirk long and hard. Finally he nodded. "Okay, I trust you."

"Thank you." Kirk put his hands on the man's shoulders and closed his eyes. "Jesus, I messed up and I need You to fix it. Forgive me for manipulating this man's emotions to get what I wanted. Deliver him from this oppression of the enemy. Wash him clean of any bitterness, anger, or torment over this incident. Put Your supernatural peace in his heart, that he may have rest and joy. And when the time is right, show him Who You are. Thank you, Lord." He opened his eyes and smiled warmly.

40712 returned the smile, his whole face lit up. "I feel so- so- I don't know!"

Kirk laughed. "You don't have to explain it, just enjoy it!"

They parted friends.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

After a meal and a few hours sleep, Kirk reported for work at the beginning of second shift. J'orn was waiting for him. Kirk was assigned to the outlet pipe of vat 3. They talked while the tank filled.

"I stayed away yesterday because I thought the persecution would be greater if it looked like you were receiving privileged attention."

"I'm sure it will be. Don't let it worry you. Come and talk to me whenever you need to."

"Well, the news I bring you isn't good."

"Oh? How's 41624? Is he not well?"

"He's holding his own, better than most I've seen, in fact. I don't know what you did to him, but the Watcher's scare tactics aren't working."

"Praise God!"

"The bad news I have is about you. The Watcher has ordered specifically that I add first shift to your workload, and he even specified which team."

"And?"

"The divers. I'm sorry. If I'd done what he wanted to begin with, you could have been washing dishes, and have an hour or two of sleep now and then."

"Sleep's not the biggest problem; dehydration is. I can manage without food, but not without water. I can probably even manage to work non-stop for four days, but if you don't get me some water, by the fourth day, I'll be dying."

"That's what they want, is to kill you."

"I know, but they're sure dragging it out. They could wipe me out in an instant. Why don't they?"

"Because they're also teaching the rest of us a lesson. I'll get you that water, somehow," he added grimly.

xxxx

Kirk didn't even hear the verbal persecution that day. He did mildly notice when his head received a bucketful, or when he was tripped and landed face down in it. But these things received no more than brief attention. His principle mental work was planning a strategy for surviving 14 duty shifts.

Much of the work could be done in a mental stupor when exhausted. But he suspected the diving job would require a modicum of mental alertness. He didn't know if he could wake up mentally for that shift while doing the other two on auto-pilot. But the biggest question was whether to slow his pace to a crawl, matching those around him, in order to conserve his strength.

While it would undoubtedly be smart to do just that, he couldn't. He would be crawling by week's end, but he would slow down only when forced to by exhaustion. Until then he would continue to tackle the work with energy and diligence. It was just part of who he was.

That settled, he hauled out his arsenal of Scripture verses, and chose several to meditate on that would help him access the grace and strength he would need in the hours and days to come. Lastly he prayed, much of it intercession for the Watchers, for J'orn and the others, for those who persecuted him, both supervisors and workers, and lastly for Spock, Bones and the rest.

Towards the end of the shift, J'orn returned, bringing him a large glass of water. He drained it on the spot, while J'orn waited.

"I shudder to think what they're going to say about this."

"Who, the Watchers?"

"No, your fellow workers."

"I don't care. Survival is what's important, not what they think of me."

"All right. I'll see that you get a glass of water each shift. Will that be sufficient?"

"Yes. I'm used to surviving on very little. It's none at all that the body simply won't tolerate. So thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

J'bit brought the next water. The supervisor wasn't going to let him have it, but J'bit stared him down, and he backed off. J'bit held the straw to his mouth, while Kirk continued to lift and pour buckets. It took longer to consume this way, but J'bit was patient.

Kirk's first shift supervisor assigned him to one of the cool down vats. He made 12 dives during the course of the shift. Since he was a good swimmer, it was not difficult. It wasn't even nearly as revolting as he expected it to be. His nose was adjusting to the environment. But he expected the divers at the other end of the line didn't have it nearly as good.

He was right. The next day he was assigned as diver to intake vat 4. He spent the entire shift in the vat, not even bothering to climb out between dives. This was the most strenuous work he had done to date. Also the most dangerous. They did not turn off the outflow valve, so he was constantly in danger of being caught in the suction of escaping fluids. The trick was to unclog the drain without getting in direct line with the outflow force.

xxxx

The accident happened on the third day. Kirk had completed nine of the 14 shifts. For this tenth shift, he was working the scaffold of vat 1. He wasn't very alert mentally, but he was by no means in a stupor yet. Physically he was slowed to a walk rather than a jog. His diver had some work to do, but nowhere near as much as the average. Kirk was still making a sincere effort to stir the contents, whereas most of the others were just putting in their time.

It was roughly three hours into the shift, when suddenly Kirk heard a shout of alarm from vat 2. Looking over, he saw to his horror a man's hand sticking out of the outflow pipe. Knowing immediately what had happened, Kirk's reaction was instantaneous and without thought. He dropped the wooden paddle, leaped from his scaffold to the neighboring one, and dived into the vat, all in one fluid motion.

Planting his feet against the side of the vat, he hooked his arms around the man's chest and shoulder, and began to pull. It took about thirty seconds of concerted effort, but he succeeded in pulling the man free. He surfaced with the man in tow. Two supervisors helped get him out of the vat. Kirk climbed out on his own, and faced an angry supervisor.

"What is the meaning of this? You may not leave your post! Why are you trying to do this diver's job, and ignoring your own? Speak up; answer me!"

Kirk looked over at the diver, who was sitting, coughing up crud. It looked as if he would live.

"He was caught in the pipe. I saw his hand." He gestured over the side of the vat at the man on duty below. "He raised the alarm."

The supervisor looked at the diver, and then back at Kirk.

"Get back to work, then!"

No apology, no word of thanks, just anger. Kirk noticed however, as he made his way back to his own scaffold, that the supervisor did go talk to the man at the outflow pipe of vat 2. Climbing the steps to his own vat, Kirk looked at the distance he had jumped. It was a good thing he hadn't thought about it. Reaching the top, he had to jump in to retrieve his paddle, which floated in the middle of the vat. His diver stared at him in some awe.

"Would you do that for me if I was caught?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

The diver didn't answer, and they went back to work. The persecution from workers dwindled to nonexistence as the story spread throughout the unit. The supervisors however, seemed more and more angry. Venting on Kirk their jealousy, their frustration, and their guilt, the supervisors more than made up for the absence of persecution from the workers. But Kirk hardly noticed. Exhaustion was overtaking him.

The last day went by at a crawl. He survived eight hours in intake vat 3 by the grace of God. By second shift he was almost a zombie. He crawled up the steps of scaffold 5, and stumbled around and around, doing little that was effective. His diver worked non-stop that day. The last shift was at the chemical tanks. Eight hours of lifting buckets loomed as nigh onto impossible.

Kirk's strength was completely spent. But his will to go on was intact. And he knew where strength was to be found. So he prayed. Not that he had stopped praying since this began. But this prayer was asking for the miraculous.

He picked up the bucket, believing the strength would be there. And it was. For bucket after bucket, hour after hour. Kirk looked and felt completely exhausted, but he continued to lift each bucket, accessing supernatural grace and strength.

Finally the shift bell rang. Kirk collapsed and was asleep before he hit the floor. They just left him there. The plant emptied quickly and all was quiet. Kirk slept soundly for eight hours.

xxxx

J'orn was unhappy. He was looking at the list of infractions up for discipline this week. 46529 appeared on the list a total of 21 times, including his own. 14 times late for work, 5 counts of unsatisfactory work, and once for leaving his post. A system that punished a man for saving a life deserved to be mocked, but J'orn had no idea what J'im would do with this. Or rather, he was afraid he did know, and he dreaded it.

J'kam interrupted his musings. "Sir! I've taken attendance, and J'im isn't here!"

"Go find him. Get him here inside of two minutes, or I'll have to declare him absent. Go!"

J'orn stalled as long as he dared. Finally with no sign of either J'im or J'kam, he approached the podium. They arrived during his opening remarks. Breathing a sigh of relief, he continued.

"We have a number of disciplinary actions today." He paused. _Better get it over with first,_ he thought. "46529 to the front. This man has set a record. To my knowledge, no one has come close to this quantity of infractions incurred in one week."

He looked at J'im and made eye contact. The eyes were bright, alert, and amused. The rest of him however, was covered in filth. He had come to the meeting without taking a shower. J'kam had followed him to the front. J'orn gestured to him.

"We can't administer discipline to him in this condition. Take him to the shower, and see that he returns clean."

He added _sotto voce_, "and find out what he wants me to do about this."

J'kam took Kirk to the shower, and found him some clean clothes - pants, tunic, and sandals. They didn't fit, but at least they covered him. The remains of his uniform were a total loss. J'kam spoke up as Kirk was getting dressed.

"J'orn wants me to find out what you want him to do about the discipline."

"I thought we talked about that last week."

"Yes, but there's 20 more infractions on the list."

"Hmm, that's quite a few. I can see that he's got a problem. But he's got to do what the law requires."

"The law requires that the supervisor reporting the infraction set and carry out the punishment in front of the unit at the next meeting. There are customary amounts, but it's up to the supervisor."

"Then he's got to balance what will satisfy the unit and the supervisors with what would take too long. I've got three suggestions. Show the video at the same time. Then you only have to get it down to eight hours. You could make the duration virtually continuous, which would cut the time by a third. Only other thing I can think of is if you've got more than one wand, you could have them work simultaneously."

"There is an extra wand," J'kam admitted.

"Great! That cuts the time in half right there."

"Yes, but- Can you _do_ that?"

"I'm not the ones doing it, but I should think they could manage to stay out of each other's way."

"But-" J'kam lost the ability to protest.

"Look, the worst that could happen is I fall apart. Then J'orn gets to keep his job. So stop worrying. Let's go."

J'orn had almost finished the other discipline actions by the time J'im and J'kam returned. J'kam gave him a whispered report of what J'im had said.

"All right. Go get the other wand, but keep it out of sight unless I ask for it."

The case just finishing was one of the hysterical ones. Everybody was happy when that was done. J'orn stepped to the podium, and began reading J'im's infractions. The three supervisors involved came to the platform. Kirk stood quiet and relaxed, almost as if unaware of his situation. As J'orn concluded the list, the audience stirred restlessly. J'orn drew the supervisors into conference.

"The law requires that you set and carry out the punishment for these infractions. We have customs regarding multiple occurrences, but there is no precedent for the quantity we are dealing with today. As you consider, I ask you to remember this. Do not let your desire to break 46529 overrule your ability to carry out the punishment you set. How many hours do you want to be doing this?"

He gave them a moment to think about that, then returned to the podium.

"Using the 60 he was given last week as a base line, I set punishment for infraction 1 at 120 at 10 with 20 second durations."

He motioned for the divers team supervisor to be next. He had four infractions for being late. Looking a little gray around the edges, he stepped up to the podium.

"For multiple infractions during one week, I name punishment at 240 at 10 with 20 second durations."

The second shift supervisor was next. He had four tardy infractions and the one about leaving his post. About this he was distinctly embarrassed. Nonetheless he set punishment at 360: 240 for the late charges, plus 120 for the other. At this point 40712 could contain himself no longer.

"What kind of discipline is it to punish a man for saving a life?! And those late charges are ridiculous and you know it!" He had reached the platform and was confronting them all. "The man worked over four days without a break! What are you doing? 120, 240, 360?! Think of it, you're talking hours!"

J'orn took the podium. "I will overlook the disruption if you sit down _now_. I don't like this any more than you do, but I cannot change the law."

"Why not?! If you can't, then who can?"

40712 would not back down. Kirk tried to catch his eye, but couldn't.

"If you continue to challenge my authority, I will have you up for discipline yourself, even if you are a supervisor."

Suddenly another man was on his feet and coming forward.

"I'm not a supervisor. I'm the man whose life he saved. And I will take his punishment. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here."

The audience was beginning to get disruptive, as they took sides in this argument. J'orn was at a loss, especially since he privately agreed with everything 40712 had said. Kirk could let it go on no longer. He stepped up and put his hand on J'orn's shoulder, wordlessly asking permission to speak. J'orn readily acquiesced.

"Gentlemen, please." Kirk waited for silence. It didn't take long. They wanted to know what he would say, he who had thus far made no response to all the persecution.

"40712, I appreciate what you are trying to do. And you, I don't even know your number, thank you for the thought in your heart." He smiled at the man whose life he had saved. "Perhaps the law should be changed. But we must deal with the law as it is, not as we wish it were. Perhaps even, the intent of the law is being abused. But that is not for me to judge. If there are no procedures for examining such an issue, then they should be established. But a riot, revolt, or mob action is never the way such things should be handled. History has shown that such action rarely results in justice or lasting change.

"I will not be part of such a rebellion. I will submit to the requirements of the law, and do so gladly. While I appreciate the sentiment behind your words, I would consider it a favor to me, if you would cease your protest and sit down."

They looked at him in shock and helpless protest. But they acquiesced to his wishes, and without another word returned to their seats. Kirk stepped back to his former position, and the third shift supervisor took the podium.

"I set punishment at 240 for the five counts of tardiness, and 480 for the 5 counts of unsatisfactory work, for a total of 720 at 10 with 20 second durations."

The crowd gasped in shock. Kirk shook his head at 40712, who was again about to protest. J'orn returned to the podium.

"The carrying out of this sentence would take over 12 hours. Therefore I am making two adjustments so that this does not take all day. First, each touch is to follow the one preceding it without break. It should not take more than a second to move the wand. Secondly, we have another wand. Two supervisors will work concurrently, thereby cutting the time to six hours." He paused while the crowd gasped again. "Lastly, I will take this opportunity to play the tape you asked for last week. I trust you will not be bored."

Kirk however, was bored. He had to work to keep his mind occupied. He could hear J'kam and J'ot keeping time and count, but his ear soon tuned them out. He didn't care what the count was. For a short time, he guessed which wand was held by which supervisor, but that got old fast. It was eminently obvious which was which. The third shift supervisor was still out to get Kirk; the others were embarrassed, uncomfortable, and disgusted with the whole thing. The different attitudes carried through the wands easily. He prayed for all four of them.

Time passed slowly. Kirk wondered if he could sleep standing up. Better not, he might fall over. He prayed some more, thought about Spock and the others, thought about Konti and Koh, and planned his strategy for leading this unit.

He was suddenly brought back to the present, when someone pulled his hands off his head and removed the blindfold. He was staring into J'orn's concerned eyes.

"J'im," he whispered. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"We stopped, and you didn't move. You haven't moved an inch in six hours."

"I'm a little stiff is all." It wouldn't do to admit he hadn't been paying attention. "Mind if I take a nap til the show is over?"

"As long as it's not obvious, go ahead."

Kirk slept soundly for almost two hours. J'orn woke him as the tape was finishing. He felt refreshed and alert. J'orn returned his ID disk, and gestured him to accompany him to the podium. J'orn spoke to the hushed crowd.

"The tape speaks for itself." He paused and no one argued the point. "I want no civil war in this unit. I have verified the authenticity of this tape, and acknowledged this man's right to lead me. My senior staff have done likewise. I now invite the supervisors to approach the podium with their allegiance."

40712 got there first, and spoke the ritual words with joy on his face. Others followed. J'kam stood to one side taking attendance. Few were as enthused as 40712. Most were awed and giving him wary respect, but not wholehearted support. Six would not give their allegiance. Kirk's third shift supervisor was one of those. J'orn turned to the crowd after receiving J'kam's report.

"The vote is not unanimous. The minority opinion may choose a spokesman to give a two minute summary of their objections. Following that, 46529 may choose a spokesman to give rebuttal, again two-minute limit. Then the unit will vote. Supervisors who have already given their allegiance may at that time choose to change their minds. The majority opinion rules. Vote will be by show of hand. If necessary, individual votes will be counted."

The minority opinion was full of hate and bigotry. Multiple variations on 'I will not be ruled by an alien.'

Kirk chose to reply personally, rather than let 40712 speak for him. "I will let my actions speak for themselves. Each of you will have to decide whether you are willing to be ruled by an alien. I will lead you if you wish it, but I am just as content to let J'orn continue to be your leader. If you choose me however, you should know this: my first action will be to appoint myself as Speaker. Also, while I appreciate J'orn's leadership, I will be making some changes, not all of which you may like."

A restless silence pervaded the room as J'orn gave them a moment to consider before calling for the vote. Somewhat to Kirk's surprise, the show of hands indicated he had won by a clear majority. An individual count would not be necessary. J'orn had the entire unit stand and recite the words of allegiance in unison. The dissenters did so with all the rest, their sullen anger in check for the moment. Then they all sat down, including J'orn, leaving Kirk alone on the platform.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Thank you. I promise to lead you as if you were my own people. Many of your customs and traditions I do not know. But this one I do. We will now pay tribute to 41624, the last Speaker to die. It was his wish to last the week, so that his alternate could go free. He succeeded. We will now watch the tape of his encounters with the Watcher."

Kirk watched with interest. 41624's growing weakness was obvious, but Kirk did not think he had been terrified at all, though he could not be certain, because there were no closeups except the first one. The Watcher got more and more desperately aggressive. On the fifth day, they changed Watchers. Kirk doubted that anyone else noticed, but the colors were decidedly different, hence a different person. But to J'orn and his people, they probably all looked alike. The new Watcher was even more aggressive, but 41624 remained calm and unafraid. _Thank you, Lord_, thought Kirk.

When the tape was finished, J'orn gave it to the alternate, to attach to his ID. Attention returned to Kirk.

"I now appoint as Speaker for this unit, number 46529, to serve for the indefinite future, as long as his services are needed. There will be no alternate Speaker. In the unlikely event that my duties as Speaker make it impossible for me to function as Leader of this unit, I appoint J'orn to serve as Leader for as long as I am unable to lead.

"The reign of terror is over. From this point on, none of you need ever again fear the Speaker's job. I do not expect you to internalize that fact until I have proven to you that I can be Speaker. To that end, I want six observers in the Speakers room: two supervisors, you and you." He pointed to his third shift supervisor, and another at random. "One support staff; any volunteer from the kitchen?" The head cook stood up. "And one worker from each of the three shifts." A dozen people stood up; he chose three at random.

Then he looked at the ceiling. "Watcher, listen to me: I'm not going to have time to talk to you at the usual hour. You'll understand why if you keep listening. Anyway, I'm changing our appointment time. If you want to talk to me, be ready to pick me up thirty minutes before the start of first shift. I trust you can have your report ready by then."

The entire unit stared at him in open shock, waiting for him to disappear. No one could get away with addressing the Watcher in such a way, they thought.

Kirk smiled at them. "I'm still here. Think he's not listening?"

No one answered him.

"We'll have to wait and see. Anyway, you six be at the Speaker's room 15 minutes early. And J'orn and J'bit, you too, for your regular duties. Meanwhile, we have other things to do for the next five hours. Some of you will get some free time; many of you won't. So whatever plans you had made for the day will have to wait til next week.

"All supervisors, on your feet. You have perpetuated the reign of terror as modeled by the Watchers. Perfectly understandable, but you are going to have to be retrained. As of this moment, you are all relieved of supervisory responsibilities and privileges. If you want to be a supervisor, you will have to earn the right, by demonstrating the qualities of a good supervisor.

"The first such quality is a willingness to work, not just direct the work of others. To that end, your first project as a group is to clean the processing plant from top to bottom. You have four hours to get it spotless. 40712, you're in charge. You know what my standards are. If anybody gives you any trouble, put 'em on report. Dismissed."

In considerable shock, they all filed out. J'orn looked at him questioningly, but Kirk gestured him out too. So J'orn and his staff left also. The crowd that remained was in subdued silence. Kirk surveyed them with a stern eye.

"Just because I dismissed all your supervisors doesn't mean you don't have to work. On the contrary, the work still has to get done. You will have to make yourselves do it. Some of you will become supervisors. Others will be more than happy to let someone else take that responsibility.

"This is a time of change. Change can mean opportunity. It can also mean chaos. I ask you to be patient with the chaos; take the opportunities that are presented to you; but do not take advantage of the situation to further any self-centered goals. I will find out about it, I promise you.

"Support staff, on your feet. I'm sure we could survive the week without cleaning, but we have to eat. So I will probably give you back your supervisors, since I do not have time this week to reorganize your departments. But be assured, I will get to you, just not this week. You're free for the rest of this shift. There will be no reassignment of personnel. Report for whatever job you did last week. That's all. Dismissed."

They left quietly.

"All right, next is the mobile units. All shifts, on your feet. You also will probably escape my scrutiny this week. But I don't know that you'll have any supervisors. You might, but no guarantees. So I strongly advise you to get together with your team and choose somebody to take charge if your supervisor doesn't show tomorrow. But remember, whoever you choose will have to do his own work as well as any supervisory duties. So choose carefully. Dismissed."

They began talking amongst themselves before they were out the door.

"All right, you who are left work the plant floor. Take a moment now to reseat yourselves by shift: first shift in this section," he gestured to his left, "second shift take the center section, and third shift over here." He gestured to his right.

Considerable shuffling ensued, complete with noisy conversation. About five minutes later, Kirk motioned for silence.

"Thank you. Now as you may have guessed, you are the group I am going to concentrate my attention on this week. I have had ample opportunity to observe the work on the plant floor this past week."

Nervous chuckles. He paused before continuing.

"Let me clear the air about something before we go on. I have no idea what any of you said to me or about me. Further, I have no idea of the identity of any of those who tripped me, or dumped filth on me, or whatever else you did. I choose not to remember any of it. But if any of you have a problem with it, feel free to come talk to me.

"Now, moving on. The work of this processing plant is highly inefficient. Some of it's not your fault; it's the way the teams are organized. So I'm making sweeping changes in the team structure. Before I explain that, let me answer a question you haven't dared ask, but I'm sure you're thinking it.

"Why should we increase the efficiency of our work? Why should we care? We aren't here by choice. We put in our time; we stay out of the supervisor's way; we get fed; we enjoy our free time. Why should we work more than we have to?

"I'll tell you why. A slave's most important goal is survival. The most effective way to ensure his survival is to make himself indispensable to his owners. Right now, they could shut this whole plant down, and hardly notice the lack. But I guarantee you, if we double the production of this unit, they will sit up and take notice. If our production exceeds that of any other unit on this planet, they will think long and hard before wiping out their highest-producing unit. Your ticket to survival is a highly efficient, well-run processing plant."

He went on to explain the team structure he had in mind. Each team would be responsible for running an entire line, all eight working under one supervisor. For the present, each supervisor would have an assistant. Between them, they would handle the chemicals, monitor the temperatures, and keep the flow of work going. Also they would give each team member a 15-minute break every two hours. So supervisors had to be able to do all the jobs.

"Each team will compete with all the other teams for highest production output. I'll post a chart, so you'll know how you're doing. The team with the highest cumulative output for the week will receive a reward at next week's meeting. Anyone wanting to submit ideas for what the reward should be, see J'orn or myself."

He spent the next couple of hours assigning the personnel to teams. He didn't want to use the existing teams, because many of them would have no idea how to do jobs other than their own. He chose team leaders and assistants, based on job experience and longevity, and sometimes, just by a gut feel based on the look in their eye, or their body language. Then he allowed team leaders to take turns picking their team members.

After they were dismissed, several stood in line to see him personally. One such was the man whose life he had saved.

"Why wouldn't you let me take your punishment? I owe you a debt I cannot pay."

"You owe me nothing. But tell me, could you have survived 120 at 10 with 20 second durations?"

"I don't know, but-"

"I didn't know either, but I wasn't going to risk it. After saving your life once, I didn't want you dying out of a misplaced desire to pay me for saving your life. I did it without thought or decision; I would do it again; where I come from, anyone would have done the same. You do not owe me for saving your life, nor for the 120 either. Can you accept that?"

"Yes, I guess so. You are strange in more ways than just your appearance."

Kirk laughed. "You're not the only one who thinks so."

Another who wanted to see him seemed very ill at ease. "Do you know who I am?"

"I'm sorry; it's going to take awhile for me to get to know all of you."

"I work second shift; divers team. Still don't know who I am?"

"There is no divers team anymore. Second shift, you said? Did I name you an assistant supervisor?"

"Yes, you did, but that's not what I'm talking about. Do you remember the first shift you worked the plant floor?"

"Yes. I was assigned to stir the pot." He chuckled. "I was determined to put that diver out of work. Almost succeeded too. Which gave him plenty of time to entertain the troops. Why do you ask?"

"That's what you think - that it was entertainment?"

"Well, that's part of it. Also, he was angry, and the more so because I ignored him. He wanted to drive me away. In his eyes, I didn't belong there, because I was an alien. Also, the longer I continued to work at the pace I had set, the more of a threat I became to the status quo of 'work as little as possible'."

"How do you know what - he thought?" The man stumbled over the pronoun.

"Well, I suppose I don't know for sure. Why, are you going to tell me I'm wrong?" Kirk smiled disarmingly.

"Then you do know who I am!" He was almost defiantly angry.

Kirk kept his response mild. "No, I guessed, only because of where you've steered this conversation."

"I couldn't believe you didn't know who I was! I heard what you said, but it just didn't make sense. Then, when you made me an assistant supervisor, I thought you were mocking me. How could you _not_ remember who had done that to you?!"

"I did not think of it as an attack personally between you and me. You didn't know me well enough to be angry with me for who I am. I expected to be persecuted, and it didn't matter who was doing it. But tell me, are you still angry?"

"Well, no, not really." He had calmed considerably, so maybe it was the truth. "Alien you may be, but your endurance is far beyond any I could hope to achieve."

"You might be surprised. Anyway, can we forget about last week and start fresh?"

"Even though you know who I am, you still want me as an assistant supervisor?"

"Why not? What do the two have to do with each other?"

"You would trust me with responsibility after what I did to you?"

"What about it was so awful?"

"I should have been thankful that I didn't have to dive hardly at all; instead, I was doing my best to get you to stop working. Seems crazy now, but I was blinded to common sense."

"You'll never make that particular mistake again, will you?"

"No, sir, I certainly won't." The man's relieved grin told Kirk he was emotionally free.

"Then, I don't think we need to say any more about it. I look forward to seeing you help pull your team together and beat the competition."

Several others had concerns about their role in the persecution. One had an unusual idea for the reward for the winning team.

"Sir, I suppose what you had in mind was a plaque or trophy, or some such thing, but I think interest would be much higher with something more active, more alive."

"Such as?"

"Well, I've overheard a lot of talk about you this week. Everybody's curious."

"That's understandable. What does that have to do with a reward?"

"Well, it's just an idea. You don't have to do this, but-" He stopped, visibly reluctant to continue.

"Look, I asked for ideas. I want suggestions. You obviously think I won't like this one, but you do, or you wouldn't have got this far with it. So, what have you got to lose? Maybe I will like it, and even if I don't, I'll be glad you had the courage to share it."

"Okay, it's this. We want to know how you do it. The reward could be that you tell the winning team what your secret is."

"How I do what? What secret?"

"Everything: the eight hours, the bathrooms, the persecution, the 14 shifts, the punishment wand. All of it- how do you endure?"

"That's a broad question with a long answer. Tell me, could this reward be used more than once? Would the winning team keep the knowledge to themselves? And would they work as hard to win a second time?"

"Maybe you could tell only part of the answer. Then they would want to know more. And yes, they would keep your secret."

It was a measure of their confidence, or maybe their fear of him, that only one person asked what they should do if the Speaker's job killed him.

"I have no idea how much of this J'orn would implement without me. But let's not worry about that unless it happens, and it certainly won't kill me the first day."

When the last one had gone, Kirk went to the processing plant floor to inspect the work of the supervisors. They'd had almost three hours. Progress was pitiful. When he walked in, most of them were gathered in small groups talking. Of the 40 people in the room, only ten were working.

"40712! Report!"

40712 put down his cleaning rag and came to Kirk. "Yes, sir! 40712 reporting, sir!"

"Explain this situation!"

"No excuse, sir!"

Kirk chuckled, then sobered. He stepped to within inches of 40712's face and lowered his voice.

"I didn't ask for excuses; I asked for an explanation. What's going on here?"

"I know you told me to put them on report, but there's so many. I would rather take my punishment from you, than mete it out to all of them. I'm sorry, sir."

"40712, when was the last time you felt the wand?"

"I have never-"

"And they haven't either? Supervisors don't get put on report, is that it?"

"Yes, sir." 40712 looked miserable.

"Well, that's got to change. J'ot, go fetch the wand."

While they waited, Kirk got J'kam to list for him those who had been working. The list included J'orn and his three senior staff, 40712, and five others, all support staff supervisors. Kirk lined the 30 others up along the wall. J'ot returned about the time Kirk had it quiet.

"All right, listen up. It has come to my attention that none of you have actually felt this wand. That's going to change, right now. Everybody, hold your hands out in front of you, palms up. When I touch you with the wand, don't move. Anybody who drops their hand is automatically disqualified from supervisor. If you can't take it, you shouldn't be dishing it out. J'kam, keep a record, please."

Without another word, Kirk went down the line, touching each palm for a few seconds. In between each touch, he cradled the end of the wand in his own hand. He did that for his own benefit, not theirs. They already knew what he could do. But he wanted to remember in the now, what this felt like. A few couldn't even stand the first touch. Many more couldn't take the second. Of those that managed it, only a few did so without making a sound.

"A few of you may make good supervisors. But you have yet to prove it to me. You're going to work hard for the next hour and a half. This job should have been done by now. I presume you don't want to be still cleaning the floor on your hands and knees when first shift arrives."

He turned to those behind him, who had watched in silence. "You who were willing to work have earned the right to be supervisors. You're free to go. Thank you for your work. Return to your regular duties first thing tomorrow, which is in less than three hours. Dismissed."

"Sir?" It was 40712.

"Yes?"

"I still have not felt the wand."

Kirk handed it over. "You can play with it if you want; it's your option."

They left, taking the wand with them. Kirk divided the thirty into groups of three, and assigned them each a portion of the room. He circulated among the groups, driving them relentlessly. Some would not be driven. These he lined up against the wall with their hands on their heads. There were ten of them, and he just left them there.

With the twenty who worked, he began to lead rather than drive. Spending five or ten minutes with each group, he encouraged, showed by example, and actually did some of the worst of it himself. The atmosphere was by no means that of cheerful cooperation, especially with the dissenters looking on in sullen silence. When they had worked for an hour, he called a halt, did an inspection, and set them to fix the worst of the things that didn't pass.

That done, he divided them into two shifts of ten each, told them they'd be working every other shift until further notice. First and third one day, second the next. Diligent labor would be noticed and promoted, but there would be no more free rides, and no more lording it over other workers. He dismissed them, and turned to the ten lining the walls.

"As for you, you have refused to work, practically begging me to put you on report. And yet some of you didn't even pass that little test with the wand. You have allowed your hatred of me to blind you to common sense and basic self-interest. I am your leader, not by any choice of mine, but by your own law. You declared your allegiance along with all the rest. What does your law say that I should do with you?"

No response.

"All right. To the Speaker's room, all ten of you. Now! Move!"

They reluctantly filed out. Kirk brought up the rear. He expected the Speaker's room to be deserted because it was early yet. But the guard was already on duty. Kirk had him put nine of the ten in the alternate speaker's room, and lock them in.

"I know it's crowded, but they won't be there very long. And I can't just turn them loose. They've already proved their word can't be trusted."

The tenth man was his third shift supervisor. Kirk ushered him into the Speaker's room, since he was one of the six observers. His sullen attitude put a damper on the conversation between the two already there. One of them was the head cook.

"Sir, I've got a kitchen full of guys that want to know what happens in here. Is it okay if I tell 'em?"

"Absolutely. That's what you're here for: to observe and report. Tell anybody who wants to know. And don't feel like you have to edit your report. If I had a way to broadcast the thing live to the entire building, I'd do it. The sooner I can convince you all that I'm not afraid of the Watcher, and he's not going to kill me, the better."

The others arrived shortly thereafter. Kirk reiterated their duty to observe and report. After a few reassuring words to J'orn and J'bit, Kirk led the way into the next room. He arranged them around the perimeter in such a way that all could see the screen. Then he stepped into the marked square with his back to the screen.

"We have a couple of minutes before it's time. When the light over the screen comes on, I'm out of here. I don't expect to be gone very long, but it may be somewhat longer than usual. Depends on the Watcher's reaction to me. J'orn's in charge while I'm gone. Any questions?"

Dead silence. Clearly apprehensive faces. Kirk chuckled.

"Relax. The Watcher knows perfectly well which one of us is me, even if I weren't standing on this square. All you have to do is watch." He turned to J'orn. "You okay?"

J'orn nodded, also worried. But his worry was for Kirk, not himself.

"Trust me. I'll be fine."

Someone gasped.

"Back soon." And Kirk disappeared.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Kirk felt the altered gravity immediately. He saw the reflected light on the wall in front of him, and realized the Watcher was behind him. Before he could turn around however, the Watcher attacked. He felt the pain of several tentacles repeatedly raking his back. _Sorry_, he thought, _but you asked for this._

Turning swiftly, he grabbed two tentacles and tied them together in a loose knot. Then he grabbed two others, held them tight against his chest, and began to run with them in a circle around the Watcher, thus trapping other tentacles. The overall effect was to make it appear that the Watcher was tied up by his own arms. Kirk knew the effect would only last a moment, but effect was what he was after. He was playing to the camera, hoping the Watcher was too flustered to turn it off.

Kirk's next move was to climb the coils to the top of the Watcher's body, and sit on his head, if head it was. He could feel the Watcher's rage. His whole body quivered with it. Kirk stayed on his perch, laughing with glee, until he saw several tentacles approach. Then he slid down another tentacle as if it were a playground slide. Reaching the ground, he stood up and turned to face the Watcher, hands on hips, his body language full of contempt.

The Watcher's arms descended en masse. Kirk withstood the onslaught, steady as a rock. When several minutes of this treatment produced no change, the Watcher altered tactics. He grabbed Kirk around the chest and lifted him high. He swung him around in figure eights and corkscrews, trying to disorient him, and make him fear he was going to fall on his head. Kirk laughed, treating it like an amusement park ride. He concentrated on exaggerated body language, hoping the observers would get the message.

The Watcher was getting desperate. He put Kirk down and began to surround him with arms. As he began to squeeze, Kirk relaxed completely, aware the show was almost over. One parting shot for the camera: he stroked the arms that were squeezing him, as if he was both happy with the massage, and wishing to soothe the Watcher of any anxiety.

In less than a minute, Kirk was completely encased. For the first time, he sensed hesitation. _It's okay_, he thought, _I'm not angry. Come on, we need to talk._

The Watcher initiated contact with four tentacles, and immediately began to download instructions. Kirk waited for him to finish, paying only scant attention to the instructions. It took about four minutes. With the download complete, the Watcher began to withdraw.

*Wait a minute! Can I have that in writing?*

*What?!*

*Surely you don't expect me to remember all those numbers?*

*If you make a mistake, I will bring you back and do it again.*

*More efficient to do it again now, but skip all the personnel assignments. I'll assign people as I see fit, not according to your orders. And you can skip the list of plumbing repairs needed. I'll address that problem next week. If you were listening, you know what I'm starting with.*

*This download was prepared many hours ago.*

*Which means, it's now completely irrelevant?*

*You might consider it so.*

*Then do you have anything to tell me that's not already out of date?*

*I have reported your actions. I have not yet received a response.*

*Well, let me tell you a couple of things then. First of all, I have never seen a more inefficiently run operation. I will fix that, but I'll do it my way, without interference from you. You pull me or anyone else out of that unit, and I'll quit. You won't get another cooperative action out of me. Is that understood?*

*Slaves do not make demands.*

*You tell your boss what I said then, and do whatever he tells you. Secondly, I don't want any new personnel for at least two weeks. So if you've got new people coming in, get them assigned to some other unit. Lastly, when I get here tomorrow - and if you don't mind, let's keep the same appointment time - tomorrow, if you don't want to look foolish, you might try treating me with the same respect you want. But if you want to play games, I'll be more than happy to oblige.*

*I don't think I like you.*

*I don't like what you've been doing to these people for a long time, and if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit you don't like it either.*

*It's my job. Someone has to do it.*

*Not any more, 'cause I don't scare.*

*Maybe.*

The Watcher withdrew and Kirk let him go. A moment later, he was back in the room with J'orn and the others. They stared at him in fear. He smiled at them. The fear did not dissolve. They tried to back away from him, but there was nowhere to go.

"What's the matter? What are you afraid of? What did you see on the screen?"

They just shook their heads, speechless. Kirk looked at J'orn, who was staring not at Kirk, but at the screen. Kirk glanced at the screen, which was already dark.

"J'orn, talk to me. What did I miss?"

"I don't understand." J'orn turned to Kirk, more than puzzled - definitely troubled.

"What's the problem? You are troubled, disturbed, about what?"

"The screen is dark. The Watcher isn't monitoring your report? How can this be?"

"Because there isn't any report. Oh, he had the usual list of instructions, but it's all obsolete. I told him I'd run this unit my way, but not if he interferes. He's going to check with his boss and get back to me tomorrow."

"He's going to what?! You said-!" J'orn shook his head, speechless.

"But the dark screen doesn't explain what they're all afraid of. What did you see?"

"We saw the Watcher attack you. We also saw what you did to it. None of us thought you would be back. When you suddenly appeared, we thought you were a ghost. Why didn't he kill you?"

"He didn't say. Killing me was not discussed as an option. He did say he didn't like me. Maybe he'll behave better tomorrow. Do you still think I'm a ghost?"

"No, I guess not."

"Here. Touch my hand, my arm. See, I have substance."

He went to each of them with the same admonition. Some tentatively touched his hands, others wouldn't. Those, he pressed his hand into their chest, pinning them against the wall, letting them feel the force behind his hand. All seemed convinced.

"Any questions about what you saw?"

They were still tongue-tied and speechless.

"All right. Dismissed, except for you." He pointed to the third shift supervisor. "J'bit, can you escort him to his colleagues in the alternate speaker's room? J'orn, if I can have a word with you."

The room emptied quickly.

"Have you got anything other than these two rooms that could house ten men?" And he told him of the dissenters. "I haven't got time for them today. I don't intend to keep them locked up indefinitely, but I need a safe place for them for now."

"There's nothing else really secure. We don't have any use for a jail."

"I know. Trouble-makers just get the Speaker's job. All right, put five in each room. They'll just have to make do. No food and no visitors. Can you trust the guard?"

"Yes, I think so. Why no food?"

"They won't work; they don't eat either."

xxxx

Kirk spent most of the next 24 hours on the plant floor. He organized the supervisors into a fifth team. He set J'kam to making charts for each team's score. J'ot was placed in charge of recording those scores. Kirk spent most of his time working directly with the teams, showing them how to work efficiently. He rewarded diligent work with verbal praise; he admonished the lazy with good-natured persuasion. He treated the supervisors team the same way he treated everyone else.

Above all, he himself worked, not just talked. In fact, he worked harder than anyone, and he did it all day long. Each team left, believing that he wanted their team to win the competition. That first day, he concentrated on teaching everyone how to do good work. Training how to supervise would come later.

Kirk quit work with barely enough time to shower and eat a quick meal, before he was due in the Speaker's room. He had chosen one member from each of the eight teams from first and second shifts to observe. Moving the five dissenters back into the alternate speaker's room, they crowded into the Speaker's room. Kirk repeated his instructions from the night before, then ushered them into the interior room.

"Now, you have nothing to fear from the Watcher. And trust me on this: no matter what you see on that screen, I will be back. They are not going to kill me; if they were, they'd have done it by now. Any questions?"

No one spoke. Kirk smiled at J'orn, who looked only slightly less worried than the night before.

xxxx

Kirk again found himself facing the wall. The reflected lights told him at once that this was a different Watcher. No tentacles raked his back, so he slowly turned around. The sight that greeted him was the ends of eight arms massed together, just inches from his face. He smiled and stepped forward, arms outstretched in a welcoming gesture. As his face touched the tentacles, they recoiled in surprise, rather than establishing contact.

The mass of tentacles scattered in confusion. Kirk picked up the nearest arm, hugged it and wrapped it around his waist. As he picked up another arm, the Watcher unwrapped the first arm. So Kirk sat on the floor and simply waited. The Watcher gathered himself to attack. Kirk saw it coming and lay back on the floor in a classic pose of carefree contentment: hands under his head, legs crossed at the ankles.

The Watcher attacked several times in quick succession, alternating between raking his body with one or two tentacles, and planting half a dozen like suction cups all over his body. Kirk laughed and lazily stroked a tentacle or two if he could reach them. Suddenly on the fourth or fifth attack, the Watcher grabbed Kirk's arm and jerked hard, flinging Kirk into the air.

For the next ten minutes, the Watcher tossed Kirk around, from tentacle to tentacle, raking him with other tentacles in midair. Kirk kept his body completely relaxed, his eyes open. He enjoyed the kaleidoscope of color, the dizzying disorientation. He expected the Watcher would eventually drop him, but he didn't care. It was the best wild ride he'd had since Koh's programs. Kirk laughed for joy.

Suddenly in midair, the Watcher initiated contact. He continued to toss Kirk from arm to arm while maintaining contact. Kirk was surprised that he could, and also that he would. He laughed delightedly.

*You _like_ this?*

*It's wonderful! Can all your people do this, or are you unusual?*

*It is a game we play with our children, but I have never encountered a slave who was other than terrified.*

*I'm not your typical slave.*

*You do not fear falling?*

*I told your colleague yesterday that I don't fear anything you can do to me, but there's a difference between not fearing and actually enjoying. This is genuine fun!*

*How do you know that I am not the one you encountered yesterday?*

*Your colors are different, and your voice is different- older. You've been doing this longer than your colleague. Are you his boss?*

*No, his partner. And yes, he is younger than I. He told me that I wouldn't succeed. I didn't believe him.*

*Succeed at what?*

*Our orders were to make you fear us. The boss is not happy.*

*Tell him to come talk to me himself then.*

*He won't. It's not allowed. But he said after yesterday that I'm to get a tape of your history.*

*Feel free. I've no objections. Tell him to compare it with the one he's already got. But that reminds me. By tomorrow you'll know who I am. It's vitally important that you keep up the scare tactics. I know it's embarrassing, and I'm sorry for what I did to your colleague yesterday, but it was necessary. We might tone it down gradually, but a sudden change in your attitude toward me might be a serious problem.*

*I don't understand.*

*I have a group of observers watching what you do to me. If they suddenly get the idea that we are friends, they may not trust me anymore. The trust level is still quite fragile. So tell your boss to send me someone who either doesn't know who I am, or is a superb actor. Did he give you any orders for me?*

*We are continuing to monitor your actions. But I am still puzzled. Are you saying that when I bring you tomorrow, you want me to attack you, just like I did today?*

*Preferably more ferociously. My fellow slaves are not going to believe I can really do this until I've survived an entire week of it. And they expect your response to be more and more desperate, as you are unable to make me fear you. So I want each day's show to build in intensity, so that by week's end, what you're doing to me is worse than anything you've ever done to a slave before.*

*You are not afraid that I will kill you?*

*With your arms, no. You could apply all 14 at once, and it wouldn't kill me. I suppose you could manage to squeeze me hard enough to break my bones, but you'd have to work at it. You might be able to squeeze my neck enough to cut off my air supply, but it'd be easier to smother me by sitting on top of me. But once your boss finds out who I am, you'll have strict orders not to harm me. That's why you've got to be a superb actor, or else ignorant. I'd prefer the actor, because communication's pretty limited by ignorance. But I'll work with whichever.*

*So tell me who you are.*

*You wouldn't believe me. Are you done with that tape yet?*

*How do you know what I've been doing? It doesn't affect your consciousness.*

*All will become clear after you read the tape. If there's nothing further, I have work to do. And thanks for the ride.*

The Watcher withdrew without another word, tossed Kirk a couple more times, raking his chest and back in the process, then flipped him high and let him fall to the floor. Kirk did a somersault on the way down and landed on his feet.

A moment later, he was back in the room with the ten who had watched. He smiled at them and backed up a few steps till he could lean against the wall. He made it look like casual nonchalance, but he needed something solid until the dizziness passed.

"Any questions?"

They looked startled but not fearful.

"I thought you were unconscious. But you landed on your feet, not in a heap."

Someone else piped up. "The last time I saw somebody get tossed was almost a year ago. Poor guy, he had the audacity to boast that he wasn't afraid of the Watchers, just like you did. Only they did him in - had him crying and whimpering like an animal before they were done. It was awful!"

Another asked, "How are we supposed to explain this? No one will believe it."

"Do you believe what you saw?" Kirk asked.

"Yes, I do."

"Then don't be afraid to tell what you saw. By week's end, there'll be enough evidence that you'll be believed."

xxxx

Kirk spent the first four hours of first shift on the plant floor. But he had put off several administrative items as long as he could. So he left J'kam in charge on the plant floor, and joined J'orn and J'bit in the conference room.

"Okay, guys. You've been patient. Tell me what I've been ignoring that can't wait any longer."

J'orn began. "Support staff is muddling along. That has been J'kam's job, but since you've had him doing other things, we've been filling in. No big disasters. And nobody's been put on report. After that business with the wand, everybody's been much less pushy about that.

"I don't know if you care, but after you gave the wand to 40712, we all went to the assembly room, locked the door, and played with that thing for over an hour. We wanted to know how you do it. Nobody even came close. 40712 was better than most, and he was pretty determined."

J'bit interrupted. "No more so than you were! Talk about stubborn!" He turned to Kirk. "If I hadn't stopped them, who knows how long they would've kept it up, trying to outdo one another."

Kirk grinned at J'orn. "So, did you reach your limit?"

"Let's just say I was very glad J'bit refused to go on. I desperately wanted to quit, but I have a reputation to uphold."

Kirk nodded; he understood. "How high?" he asked quietly.

J'orn looked at him bleakly. "We had it jacked up to level 10, and we'd worked our way up to 10 second durations. That was bad enough. Then he wanted to increase the quantity." He sighed. "We got up to 20 before J'bit quit. Twenty! I could barely stand 20! I had no idea what I was doing to you. None of us did. How could you just stand there for six hours of it! And then calmly sit down and fall asleep as if it was nothing! I was jittery for hours afterwards."

"How badly do you want to know?" Kirk asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" J'orn sat up and looked at Kirk intently.

Kirk changed the subject. "Has anybody turned in ideas for the reward?"

"Nothing serious. Three or four said they want to know your secret."

"But you don't think it's a serious question?"

"Oh, yes, it is. But they don't seriously expect you to tell."

So Kirk told them what he had in mind.

"But the session would be lots more effective if I could demonstrate, if I had someone to teach."

"You could teach me? Would you?" J'orn asked eagerly.

"Before you decide to volunteer, consider this. It's one thing to show them the results; it's quite another to let them see the process you went through to get there. It's not easy and it's not pretty. I will stretch you, and push you, and stretch you, and stretch you, and push you, and stretch you some more; until there's no more stretch in you, and you fall apart. Then I insist you pick up the pieces and go on, and we do it all over again, and again and again and again. Until falling apart becomes no big deal, and you cheerfully ask me to do it again, just to find out where the new limit is."

J'orn was distinctly pale at the description. "You can do all that in an hour?"

"No, I can't. It takes weeks and months to get where I am. But you need to know where I'm headed, and I'll go as far as I can in the time I have. But I can't take you where you're not willing to go. And if you're concerned about your reputation, you better not do this in front of an audience."

"If I say no, you'll ask 40712."

"Yes, probably."

"Then I'll do it."

"J'orn, this isn't about your reputation. It's about the depths of who you are - where it matters to nobody but you, but to you, it's of utmost importance. In the face of that, the audience has to be irrelevant. If it's not, you can't get there."

"I know. At least, I think I have some idea. That's why I have to be first. When word of this gets out, you'll have more volunteers than you can possibly accommodate."

"You're kidding!"

"No, I'm serious. I told you we value endurance very highly."

"But half your people get hysterical at the thought of pain from that wand."

"That's because the supervisors, myself included, have taught them that response. It's partly self-interest - we give lighter sentences to the hysterical ones. But partly they know without being told, that the supervisors like it that way. It gives them a sense of power to cause such a fear reaction. That's why those ten you've got locked up hate you."

Kirk nodded. "Because I refuse to be intimidated. We'll come back to them in a minute. Is there other business we need to discuss?"

"Two things. First, the mobile units. That's J'bit's area, so I'll let him tell you."

"Sir, it's pretty chaotic out there, and things are rapidly going from bad to worse. With no supervisors, everybody's taking advantage of the chaos."

"Doing what I warned them not to. Is it truly everybody, or are there a few bright shining lights?"

"There are a few who are trying hard, or you wouldn't be getting anything into the plant at all."

"How many is a few?"

J'bit paused to consider. "Two or three per team, at the most."

"Get me a list of who they are. Then pull them all together in one or two teams. That means we need four or five supervisors for each shift. Any suggestions?"

"In a pinch, a supervisor can handle more than one team."

"How many can you handle?" Kirk asked.

"I've been trying to do all six, but not very successfully. Even one other supervisor would help. And I can't continue to do all three shifts indefinitely."

"Okay. You're relieved of Speaker duty as of now. J'orn can handle it without you. Take first and third shifts; J'orn can cover second shift. Can we pull 40712 out of support staff without having chaos?"

"Yes," J'orn replied. "I'll split his duties between two others."

"I'll give you J'ot also. J'kam and I will handle the plant floor. That's four of you. Can you make do?"

"Yes, sir. That's more than generous. Thank you, sir." J'bit sat back with a sigh.

"And don't be afraid to come and find me if something's not working. You know where to look for me."

"That brings me to the other issue," J'orn put in. "Your quarters, sir."

"Is there a problem with the bunk J'kam gave me? I don't plan to spend much time in it."

J'orn was suddenly overly obsequious. "There has not been opportunity to show you your quarters, sir. I moved out of them immediately of course, but I only realized this morning that you are still using the communal facilities. My deepest apologies for this oversight. I should have made the time to inform you."

"Not a problem. I don't need private quarters, and one shower is as good as another." He grinned. "And I've already proved I can sleep anywhere."

"It is not seemly for the Leader to-" he stopped.

"Mingle with the workers? More us-them mentality. Forget it. I'm not using the private quarters. But I just had a thought. How big are they?"

"Quite spacious, sir."

Kirk was getting annoyed. "Would you stop calling me 'sir'?"

"But why, s-?"

"Because you use the title when you're down on yourself about something. You want to emphasize the great gap between us: I'm the high and mighty; you're the lowly worm, who has just done something that displeases me. It's disgusting! I'm Jim, you're J'orn. You obey my orders, 'cause I'm in charge. But let's not make a big deal out of it. Just 'cause I'm in charge doesn't make me a better person than you. Okay?"

"I'll try, s-, J'im."

"Thanks. Could we install a lock on those private quarters?"

"There is a lock, s-, J'im."

"I mean, on the outside. I keep thinking about those ten guys crowded into those two little rooms. If they didn't have a bad attitude before, I'm sure they do now."

"We might be able to move the lock from one door to another, but we can't get new equipment, unless the Watchers give it to us."

"Maybe I'll ask. But the bigger problem isn't solved simply by getting a bigger jail. What do I do with them permanently? I'm looking for any ideas you have, either of you."

"In the past, trouble-makers always got the Speaker's job." That was J'bit's contribution.

"I don't want to kill them, and I'm certainly not giving them the Speaker's job. What else can I do?"

"What do you want, J'im?" J'orn asked.

"I want to win their loyalty. But I don't know how. And if I turn them loose without it, they'll be walking time-bombs. I don't suppose anybody is ever transferred from one unit to another?"

"No, not that I've ever heard of."

"Maybe if I just talk to them."

"I wouldn't do it without a hefty escort. They hate you."

But Kirk did. Hiding behind bodyguards just wasn't his style. He dismissed the meeting; J'orn insisted on showing him the private quarters. He looked at them, and reiterated the fact that he wouldn't be using them. But he noted the luxurious appointments, and the fact that they were big enough to house all ten men and to spare.

J'orn and J'bit left for the mobile unit office. Kirk went straight to the Speaker's rooms. Without any explanation, he moved the prisoners to his private quarters. He personally fetched clean clothing for them, as well as a meal. Telling them to eat, shower, and rest, he left them. He fetched a cleaning cart, and personally cleaned the two Speaker's rooms. Then he returned to the plant floor. To his surprise, J'kam was covered in filth.

"What happened?"

"I tried to copy what you did. They wouldn't pay any attention to me. Said I wasn't one of them. The supervisors team ignored me too. If I am to assist you here, I must be able to lead them. So I took over a diver's job for his 15-minute break."

"Did it help?"

"Some, I think."

"Keep trying. They'll come around eventually, as long as your attitude is right. We're losing J'ot to the mobile teams. So you and I have to cover this department. How's your energy?"

"I'm good for hours yet. You should go sleep. You haven't had any rest."

"Actually there's another matter requiring my attention. I'll get back to relieve you as soon as I can."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Kirk got himself a meal, calculated how long it would take ten men to use one shower, and decided he had time for a one-hour catnap. Instead he decided to pray. Going to the assembly hall, he paced up and down, bathing the place in prayer. If ever he needed the Lord's wisdom, it was now. Finally he brought the men in, posted the guard outside, and locked the doors. Urging them to be seated, he straddled a chair on the platform.

"Gentlemen, we have a problem. I have done something to alienate you, so that you have refused my leadership. I cannot get rid of you, and I cannot keep you. The Speaker's job is not an option. Neither is killing you outright. Nor can I transfer you to some other unit. I do not want to keep you locked up for the indefinite future either. What I want is to win your loyalty. Will you tell me how?"

Dead silence.

"Will you tell me what your heart's desire is, even if you think I couldn't possibly get it for you?"

More silence. Kirk prayed.

"I want to go home," someone finally admitted.

"That'll never happen!" scoffed one.

"Nobody goes home, ever!" said another.

"Thank you for sharing that desire. Anybody else have a burning desire?"

"I want to see you crawling on your hands and knees, begging for mercy." This from his third shift supervisor.

Similar scoffing remarks followed.

"Thank you for sharing. Anyone else? Now's your chance to put in a complaint. Anybody?"

Silence. Kirk stood up.

"All right. Let's address the first desire. Do you all agree that if you believed I could promise you a ticket home, that I would have your loyalty?"

Affirmatives, however reluctant.

"What would I have to do to secure that belief? Purely hypothetical question," he assured them.

One was bold enough to answer. "Lead a successful-" He stopped, unwilling to say the word.

"Mutiny." Kirk said it for him. They looked shocked. "It's all right. It's just a hypothetical question. Are we all agreed that nothing short of a successful mutiny would secure you a ticket home?"

Reluctant nods.

"All right, then. Since I can't provide that, at least not at the moment, let's turn to the second desire. How many of you want what your colleague from third shift wants?"

Most hands went up, complete with snickering and nervous shuffling.

"If I gave you what you want, would you give me your loyalty?"

Various scoffing remarks. General disbelief. Kirk held the eyes of the third shift supervisor.

"Wait a minute!" he interrupted the chatter. "Explain," he ordered Kirk.

"I can provide whatever response to the wand that I choose. The complete lack of reaction served my purposes. If it would earn your loyalty, I would give you the response you desire."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. But I can see you need a little demonstration." He quickly brought the wand from its cabinet and gave it to the third shift supervisor. "Here. Touch me. Anywhere on the face."

The man stood up and Kirk backed away. The man swelled with pleasure in his power. "Stand still!" he bellowed. Kirk stood. As the wand approached, Kirk stared at it in wide-eyed horror. He swallowed hard, licked his lips, and began to shake with nervous tension. When the wand was inches from his face, he began to lean over backwards, finally falling, curling into a ball and silently sobbing, face in hands. After a moment, he turned onto his back, and lay relaxed and smiling, with arms spread-eagled. When the wand touched his cheek, he didn't even twitch. The man bellowed his rage, dropped the wand on Kirk's belly, and stormed back to his seat. Kirk stood up and studied the others. Two had that same gleam in the eye of pathological pleasure in the proceedings. The others looked a tad uncomfortable, as if they had enjoyed it, but knew they shouldn't have.

"A little demonstration, all visual. I can add sound effects and put on a thoroughly disgusting show. Your choice of an immediate, all-encompassing terror, or a gradual disintegration of the will to endure. The first is more spectacular, the second more believable. So here's the deal: take it or leave it.

"You can have a two-hour show on each of three days, beginning now. You can use one wand or two, I don't care. You can choose your wand wielders, or I will. But pick somebody who'll keep it interesting. There's a limit to what I can do, if it's boringly repetitive.

"In exchange, you will, from today on, give me your complete cooperation. You can continue to hate me, but you'll have to do it in private. Any show of rebellion in public will be severely dealt with. And you'll be dealt with individually, not as a group. So your decision about this will be made individually, as well. If you say 'no' to this, then it's back to jail til I figure out what else to do with you."

He half expected them to refuse his offer. But apparently they were thoroughly tired of jail. And he had given them a graceful way out, that even promised to be entertaining. For the three pathological sadists, they simply could not refuse an opportunity to indulge themselves. The group picked the sadists as wand wielders. They obviously had a well-earned reputation. After dismissing the guards, Kirk removed his tunic and sandals, fetched the second wand, and addressed the group again.

"You will report to the plant floor for first shift tomorrow morning. If I am not there, report to J'kam. From this point on, you are free to go. You stay to watch the show voluntarily. Any questions?"

"Why are you doing this three days in a row?" one asked.

"Because I don't have time to give you six hours straight. My first priority is what's going on out there on the plant floor. Two hours at a time is all I can spare for this entertainment."

"What about rest day? I bet you'd never do this in front of the whole unit! Your reputation would go up in smoke!"

"On the contrary, given the right circumstances, I would perform for the entire unit. And I'm not concerned about my reputation. But if I were you, I'd be glad I'm not making you do this in front of everybody. Because if I did, by the time I was through with you, they would despise you. So be glad this is a private party."

Someone else called out, "Why don't you have any guards or witnesses in here? If we ganged up on you, you wouldn't have a chance!"

"I don't need protection from you, and if we had anyone else in here, it wouldn't be a private party. You can tell anyone you like what went on in here, but they won't find out from me."

"You said we get to choose what kind of an act you do."

"I did. I would let the wand wielders decide, but it's up to you."

They looked expectantly at the man beside Kirk.

"Which is harder?" he asked Kirk.

Kirk thought a moment. "I don't know; they're different. One requires more physical energy, the other more concentration."

"I'll take the spectacular then. Immediate and complete terror, and you keep it up for two hours straight, whether I take a break or not."

"I assume you want it to be eminently obvious how much agony I'm in."

"Yes, of course."

"Fear and pain are different things. You want it all silent, or with sound effects?"

"You make it sound like I'm ordering my favorite dinner."

"If you don't want to decide, ask them." Kirk gestured at the others.

"Silent, then. And it'll take more than falling on the floor to convince me you're scared," he scoffed.

"You will see it in my eyes," Kirk promised. He turned to the others. "Don't feel like you have to stay in your seats. Get as close as you like. Just stay out of his way." He turned back to the wand wielder. "One last question: one wand, or two?" He held them both out for the man to take.

As the man reached for both wands, Kirk glanced at the clock. As the wands left his hands, Kirk switched into character. The two hours passed quickly. The man was easy to play against. He had an instinctive grasp of the flow of the thing. Kirk found himself giving him non-verbal cues about what to do next. Kirk arranged a suitable finale, and as the clock ticked the two-hour time, he dropped out of character. Sitting up, he gave his partner a warm smile. The crowd sighed, backed off, and began to disperse. Kirk stood up and spoke quietly to the man with the wands.

"I'd like a few words with you when the others have gone."

The man nodded, handed over the wands, and sat down. Kirk dressed and put the wands away. The room emptied quickly. Nobody wanted to look Kirk in the eye. He sat on the edge of the platform, just feet from the seated man.

"This is entirely voluntary, and strictly between us. Would you like to tell me how you feel about what we just did?"

The man stared at him. Kirk just waited.

"I enjoyed it, but not for the reason I expected to. That first rest day when you made fun of your supervisor, I wanted to smash you. When you worked those 14 shifts, I said to myself, this man has got to go. Then the six hours with the wand, I thought, nobody can do that - it's impossible! Then they voted you in, and I resented your power.

"I've spent the last two days building up a first-class hatred of you. And the pampering in your personal quarters just added fuel to the fire. Then we get in here, and you have this completely outlandish proposal. I don't think I believed you would really do what you said you were going to do. I kept thinking, there's got to be a trick to this somewhere. Nobody would do such a thing, certainly not in your position.

"I said all that to say this. Right up to the moment I took those wands, I hated you. But then something happened. I realized within seconds that you really were doing exactly what you said you would. I remembered what you'd said about why you were doing it: to win our loyalty. At that moment, you had me. Anybody who could stand for six hours of it, and yet would act the coward in front of a bunch of guys that hate him - well, all I can say is you've got my loyalty, for what it's worth.

"Anyway, suddenly, I didn't want to be doing what I was doing anymore. If we'd been alone, I would have thrown those wands across the floor. You have to understand, this has never happened to me before. I've always enjoyed the discipline sessions, looked forward to it. Suddenly, I loathed it.

"But that wasn't the end of it. I guess I was on auto-pilot there for awhile. I was so confused and upset, I couldn't think about what I was doing. But then a funny thing started happening. I began picking up cues from you. You probably don't even know you were doing it. For instance, at one point, you were all curled up, except one foot was sticking out. It had never occurred to me to attack the bottoms of your feet. But that foot was positively begging to be touched. And the reaction - the arched back, the clenched fists, the silent scream - I could almost feel it myself.

"I expected you to keep those feet firmly out of reach after that, or at least try to. But you didn't. You can't have known you were doing it, but you kept sticking out one or the other, or both feet at once. And the reactions kept getting worse. In fact, that's what finally had you completely undone. All you had to do was roll over and plant your feet on the floor, but you couldn't think enough by then to do anything about it."

Kirk smiled and said nothing.

"I don't know how to explain this. I loathed it, and yet I enjoyed it. I used to enjoy the sense of power over my victim. This wasn't like that; at least, I don't think it was. I don't understand it myself, and you're going to think I'm crazy, but- it's almost as if we were doing this together; not enemies, but working partners. That I wasn't so much torturing you - although I was - but that I was helping you put on this show. I know it's crazy, and you probably hate me, but- I've never been in a situation where, without words or planning or practice, we just responded to each other, back and forth. There was almost a flow to it. Anyway, that's what I enjoyed."

Having bared his soul, the man stared helplessly at Kirk, waiting for rejection, expecting it.

_Thank you, Jesus. What a precious gift! _ Kirk prayed. _Help me, Lord. Give me the right words._ The love of the Lord shown brightly in Kirk's eyes as he smiled warmly.

"It's not crazy, and I don't hate you. I've experienced it before, but I didn't expect to encounter it here. I knew what I was going to do, and it didn't really matter what you did. But it was ever so much better this way. You have an instinctive sense of flow. But I didn't know if you were aware of any of it. That's why I wanted to talk to you. So thank you for being willing to share so openly."

"You felt it too?"

"Yes. I sensed immediately how easy it was to work with you. I began feeding you cues without deciding to do so. When I realized how quickly you picked up on them and ran with it, I became much more purposeful about it. The sequence with the feet was all planned."

"You did that on purpose?! Why?!"

"For that entire six-hour marathon, no one touched my feet. So it was just possible that the feet were so much more sensitive, that I really couldn't stand it. In fact, you believed it too."

"Yes, but-"

"Think about it. Who stopped first, you or me? If I was really past the ability to think coherently, how did I know when time was up?"

"You were watching the clock?! How could you?!"

"I positioned myself so that every time I arched my back, I could see the clock without seeming to be looking at it. That final convulsion lasted exactly thirty seconds."

"When you collapsed, I thought you were unconscious."

"That's what you were supposed to think."

"So your feet really aren't any more sensitive than the rest?"

"Yes, they are."

"I don't get it."

Kirk got up, fetched the wands, returned and took off his sandals. The man shifted uneasily in his chair.

"Relax. I just want to show you something."

Kirk sat cross-legged on the platform in front of the man. He turned on the wands and held them to his feet, one in each hand. Looking up, he saw the man was rigidly clenching his jaw.

"Relax. Take a deep breath. It's okay."

The man visibly tried to relax; marginal success. Kirk smiled encouragement.

"Is it something about the way you're sitting, that you can stand it?"

"No. I don't want to have to ask you to hold the wands. But for the feet to be completely relaxed, I can't reach them."

The man stood up and reached for the wands. Kirk handed them over, and stretched out his legs so that the feet hung over the edge of the platform. Without a word, the man stroked the bottoms of his feet with the wands for several minutes. Not a twitch or a jerk; Kirk's face remained calm with a quiet smile. When the man stopped, Kirk took back the wands.

"That's only half the demonstration. I've just thought of a way to position these wands so neither of us has to hold them."

He worked as he talked. Opening his legs, he turned his feet so the bottoms faced each other. He placed the wands on the floor, held them in place with the weight of his legs, and propped his sandals under them to achieve the proper positioning.

"Now you've seen that I can do the same with my feet as with all the rest. What I'm going to do now is show you what it really feels like. But before I do, I have to ask if you trust my word. Because you must know by now that I can make it look any way I want. So can you believe my word that what you will see on my face is my natural, unedited response to the pain?"

"Yes, I believe you."

"Good. Now relax, and be patient. This will take a few minutes."

Kirk began focusing his attention on the pain in his feet, and concentrating his reaction to it on his face. He would not control what the face did; what mattered was that it be real. His eyes glazed over; his brow pinched; his jaw clenched. His face began to contort; finally his mouth opened in a silent scream of agony.

"Stop it! Please!" The man was on his feet, his fists clenched.

Kirk closed his eyes, took a deep breath, wiped all expression off his face, opened his eyes, and smiled. The man was still agitated.

"Stop it, please stop it!"

"I did." Kirk was puzzled.

"No! The wands! Turn off the pain!" It was all the man could do to restrain himself from grabbing the wands.

Kirk stared in amazement for a moment, then complied, but nowhere near fast enough to suit the guy. He collapsed in the chair with relief as Kirk laid the wands aside.

"Do you realize how dramatically your attitude has changed about the pain of others?" Kirk asked.

The man snorted. "Do you realize how closely your natural reaction matches that two-hour show you put on? I thought it was all an act, that you didn't really feel that way. How could you be in agony, and yet plan the way you did?"

"Just because I'm letting my body do what it wants to doesn't mean I have to turn my mind off. And the fear was an act. I'm not in the least afraid of the agony, so I could plan as much more of it as I decided we needed for the sake of the show."

"Why would you do such a thing? Plan more agony just to improve the show? And I don't really understand why you did the whole thing in the first place."

"Would we be having this conversation if I hadn't?"

"No, I guess we wouldn't," the man replied thoughtfully.

"That's why. I needed a way to bridge the gap between us. I want to tell you about Someone who did much more than I've done to bridge an even greater gap."

Kirk shared the Gospel and led the man to the Lord. Then he explained about the deliverance from sadism that the man had already received. Lastly he talked about the challenges he was likely to face in the days ahead. Just before they parted, he told Kirk his name: J'mik.

By the time he returned to the plant floor, second shift was almost over. He insisted J'kam get some sleep. J'kam thought Kirk should sleep instead.

"I'll sleep tomorrow. Now go!"

"But-"

"Look, I know what I can do. Do you doubt it?"

"Well, no, but-"

"I'm going to need you to work all three shifts tomorrow. So go! That's an order!"

"Yes, sir."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Kirk's first glimpse of the Watcher that night told him it was the same one he had talked with the day before.

_I hope you're a good actor,_ Kirk thought.

Before he could turn around, half a dozen tentacles raked across his back. An arm grabbed him by the neck, jerked him off his feet, and dragged him backwards into the middle of the floor. For the next ten minutes he was tossed in the air and deliberately dropped, over and over again, amidst a barrage of tentacle attacks. Occasionally he managed to land on his feet. Usually they were jerked out from under him just before landing. Belly-flops were the norm.

Kirk had no opportunity to play to the camera, no chance to take any initiative. The action was too fast, too jerky, too unexpected. And the arm around his neck was a constant. He wondered if it looked like he was being strangled. He wasn't. Throughout the ups and downs, the arm's pressure on his neck remained constant. Quite a trick.

Finally after one last belly-flop landing, Kirk was given opportunity to roll over onto his back. He looked up and understood why. A mass of tentacles descended on his head, completely covering his face. He laughed.

*That was quite a performance. And I wondered how good you were. What do you do for an encore?*

*They said you wouldn't want to know.*

*They're right. I don't. As long as it keeps getting better.*

*That depends on your definition of better. But I have consulted with colleagues, and studied the files, and I think what we have planned fits your requirements.*

*Great. I won't worry about it then.*

*You never worry about anything. They said you were fearless. But knowing it and feeling it are different. You said yesterday that I might kill you by strangling you. But from the moment I grabbed your neck, you've been completely relaxed. Not only are you fearless, you trust my skill.*

*I saw your skill yesterday. But even more than your skill, I trust Jesus.*

*Yes, and you are the great Captain Kirk who brought us the power of Jesus and saved our world. And I - my number is 2731 by the way - I will go down in history as one who mistreated you because I did not recognize you. 2891 and I are most humiliated. He is lamenting having said that he doesn't like you.*

*If either of you had recognized me, it could have ruined everything. You and your colleague did exactly what I wanted you to do, and you will kindly keep doing it. I do not consider it mistreatment. You are helping me to establish a trust level with these people, without which I cannot do what I came for. Did they tell you why I am here, or just who I am?*

*You are here to save our world again, this time from mutiny.*

*Did they tell you how we plan to do that?*

*No, only that I was to obey your orders, no matter how crazy I thought them to be. Also I was to be ready to report information and instructions from you to my boss. His number is 1167.*

*He's going to be a key player in this thing; so are you. The reason for the secrecy is that in order for these people to trust us, you have to treat us just like the slaves they think we are. Right now, they think you're letting me get away with disrespect and rebellion, because I've promised to improve efficiency drastically.*

*Well, it's true. That is why.*

*I know. I haven't done anything that I wouldn't do if I was a real slave. So far, as I'm sure you know, no one has breathed a word to me about mutiny. Doubtless, it's because they know I'm being watched.*

*There is a way for them to communicate without our hearing it.*

*Don't tell me. If they've figured it out, someone will eventually talk to me. Meanwhile, we wait, and you continue to treat me like a slave.*

*Have you any instructions?*

*You might find out which of the other slave races now have one of my people as Speaker. But only if you can find out without alerting their Watchers to what's going on.*

*I'll ask 1167. He'll know.*

*Great. I have to get back to work now. Thanks for your help, 2731. See you tomorrow.*

_xxxx_

Kirk spent a couple of hours working first shift, but the new supervisors team wasn't giving him any trouble, so he left J'kam in charge. After a meal and a short meeting with J'orn, Kirk got six hours much-needed sleep. He woke in time for a quick meal before his meeting with the dissenters.

When he walked into the assembly hall, they were already there. J'mik was seated to one side. They exchanged warm smiles, which everybody saw. J'mik was already being persecuted. Kirk prayed for him. Especially because he knew today's show would not be easy for him to watch.

"What did you do to 41462 - brainwash him?!" It was today's wand wielder. "Well, you won't do it to me, I promise you!"

"What has happened to him is not something I did. And if it happens to you, it will be because you decide you want it."

"He's a wimp! You took all the fight out of him."

"You can think what you like, but my personal opinion is it takes more courage to refuse to fight back."

"He's afraid to fight. You stole his courage."

"Do you honestly think he's afraid of any of you, or even the whole bunch?"

"He never was before."

"Let me ask you this. Am I a coward?"

"Before yesterday, I sure didn't think so."

"What kind of a coward would come back for more? What kind of a coward would have suggested this party in the first place? Would a coward take day after day of persecution in silence, and then break that silence to keep someone else from taking his punishment, knowing it would be hours upon hours of agony?"

Dead silence.

"This man is no more a coward than I am. If you want to know what's happened to him, then ask him. But I strongly suggest you do it one-on-one, and be sure you really want to know. Because if you're just looking for more ammunition, you'll likely get silence. Now is there anything else about yesterday's show you want to talk about?"

"Are you telling us you're not really afraid of those wands touching your feet? All that agony was just an act?"

"You can believe what you like. You asked for the show. I gave you what you asked for. Does it matter what the truth is?"

They argued amongst themselves for several minutes. Apparently the truth did matter. They were about equally divided in their opinions. Kirk took off his sandals and fetched the wands. They fell silent and watched. Kirk took the wands to J'mik.

"Please."

J'mik stood up. "This is not because they called me a coward?"

"No, this is because we understand each other, and because I want them to see my face. You will be looking at my feet."

They repeated what they had done the day before, with J'mik stroking Kirk's feet with the wands. Kirk remained relaxed and motionless for several minutes.

"Now watch my face."

As before, he let the agony show through on his face. Letting it go on longer than J'mik had, Kirk prayed for peace in J'mik's soul. Finally he cut it off, and returned his face to that quiet smile they found so irritating. After a bit longer, he finally let J'mik quit.

"That little demonstration was for free. You can believe what you like, but that was the truth. Am I afraid of it? No. Was the agony real? Yes. Any other questions?"

There were none. That day's wand wielder opted for gradual disintegration, with sound effects. J'mik stayed in his seat, and prayed for his new friend. Occasionally he saw something, mostly his view was obstructed by those who crowded in close. The third wand wielder watched from a distance, silent and brooding. The others cheered on the day's proceedings, eagerly contributing advice.

To J'mik's ears, it was an intense persecution he could hardly imagine. They gleefully thought up all kinds of ways to multiply his agony. He just let them do whatever they wanted. Finally his endurance cracked, just a little. They cheered and redoubled their efforts to break him. A little while later, the crack widened. They were ecstatic.

_He's going to fall apart,_ J'mik thought. _Of course he is; that's what they asked for; he's giving it to them. The whole thing is an act. He's playing his audience like the superb actor that he is. And they have no comprehension what this is costing him. To pretend to come completely unglued, and do it three days in a row! Integrity matters to him, and yet, he doesn't care if they respect him, as long as they do what he wants. But what a price to pay!_

After coming tantalizingly closer and closer for an hour and a half, Kirk fell apart completely, and gave them thirty minutes of completely out of control behavior. At least it looked out of control. While screaming and whimpering, rolling on the floor, clawing the air, and arching his back, he still managed to make sure they had ample access to their favorite torture spots: eyes, ears, mouth, and of course, the feet.

When time was up, Kirk collapsed in a heap. After poking and prodding, they gave up, tossed the wands on top of his body and left in a group, laughing and slapping each other on the back. Kirk stood up in one graceful fluid motion, apparently a completely different person than just a moment ago.

The third shift supervisor stared at him. "Well, that backfired, didn't it?"

"What makes you say that?"

"They're gone; you've lost your chance."

"I gave them what they asked for. They know my price. What happened to 41462 was never part of the deal. He got a free bonus. Your turn is tomorrow. What will you ask for?"

"I don't know. I'd rather have you all to myself. They're a bunch of rabble-rousers."

"Sorry. You have to perform for the crowd. It's part of the deal. But I'd be willing to discuss a private deal in addition."

The man looked at J'mik and said nothing.

Kirk went to J'mik. "You okay?"

"Yes, J'im, but I heard what you just said. I wouldn't trust him."

"Where would you be if I hadn't been willing to risk being alone with you?"

"You've got a point. Following Jesus is risky, isn't it?"

"Not if you understand the whole package. Look, I don't know how long this will take. Where can I find you?"

J'mik gave him directions to his room, saying he'd either be there or the mess hall. Moments later, Kirk was alone with his former third shift supervisor.

"You wanted me alone. Here I am. There's nowhere else I have to be for several hours. What sort of private deal are you interested in?"

"I want to know what makes you the way you are. I want to know your history, all of it. I want to know what you think, what you feel, what motivates you, everything about you. I want to get inside your brain and dissect it."

"Can you? I mean, can your race do such a thing?" Kirk inquired.

"What?! Of course not. I just wish I could."

"We'll have to settle for the spoken word then. Do you want to ask questions, or do you want me to just start talking?"

"You agree to give me what I want?" the man asked warily. "You haven't named your price."

"Well, I'm curious about what you would agree to give me, because it would tell me how badly you want to know. But the truth is, I would do it for free: no price."

"Why?"

"The most common sort of deal for this would be information for information. You tell me; I tell you. But I would rather learn about you when you freely tell me. So I will freely tell you about me. But frankly, you've already told me something I didn't expect, and that is that you're interested in something other than torture and persecution."

"I'm not apologizing for all that." His tone was belligerent.

"I'm not looking for an apology. I'm just surprised."

"I'm not telling you why I want to know either."

"It doesn't matter. You can have two hours now, and if that isn't enough, you can have another two hours after tomorrow's party."

So the man asked probing question after probing question. The ones about his character, Kirk answered with unedited truth. The questions about his history were another matter. He stuck to the cover story they had worked out, which included how they had come to be captured and brought here as slaves. As far as he could tell, the story was accepted at face value. When it came to explaining thirty years of lost memories, however, nothing but the truth would do, and it was not likely to be believed.

"Shortly before we were captured and brought here, I was in the hands of another race, enemies of our people. I spent months with them. That's where I acquired all these scars on my skin. In order to keep those enemies from gaining access to military secrets, thirty years of my memories were removed. I do not remember anything between the day I entered the military academy and the day I was taken prisoner by our enemies."

"So you are a military man?" the man asked almost eagerly.

"It would seem so, one with quite a reputation, if the questions they asked me are any indication."

"You've managed to acquire a reputation around here in two short weeks."

"Only the memories are gone. The skills, the character, the essence of who I am, these are the same as before."

"How were the memories removed?"

"A colleague and very good friend of mine has special mental powers. He did it for me. I can't give you a technical explanation of how he did it, because I don't know."

"A friend. You say that as if you agreed to it."

"Not only agreed; I asked him to do it. He didn't want to."

"Why not?"

"He knew the agony of loss I would face every day for the rest of my life. I told him to do it anyway. I did not expect to live long, and the price was worth the benefit. Actually I lived long enough to be rescued, and now here I am, a prisoner and slave of another race. I'm getting good at this."

The man didn't respond to Kirk's attempt at humor. "Did you do the same things you have done here?"

"No. Their society is very different. I became the personal property of one of their number. I attended to his personal needs. But because they wanted those military secrets, I spent many hours in the torture chambers as well."

"What kind of relationship did you have with your captors? Did they permit you to speak with them? And if so, what did you talk about?"

"The first two weeks, the only time I talked was when they pumped me full of a drug that made me say whatever I was thinking. After that, we began to get better acquainted. As time went on, we discussed many things. They became good friends."

"You have a strange concept of the word 'friend'," the man noted dryly.

"A friendship is a relationship between two people that is based on a foundation of mutual trust. Each will risk himself for the other. I seek to establish friendships wherever I am, but I am not seeking to get something from the other. Rather, I give myself freely, and rejoice when the other freely gives himself."

"That's what you said at the beginning of this conversation."

Kirk grinned. "Life is so much richer among friends, but I am patient."

"Are you trying to make friends with the Watcher too?"

"Yes. Much patience is required."

"And endurance too."

"Of course."

xxxx

That night 2731 again encircled his neck with an arm. But instead of tossing him up and then dropping him, he held him aloft. An arm caught each wrist and ankle and he was stretched, spread-eagled, in midair. Other arms attacked from the back and the front, so that he was bounced up and down like a trampoline. The mental image made him laugh just as 2731 made contact.

*Why are you always laughing at me?*

*I'm not laughing at you; I'm laughing at what I must look like.*

*Why is that funny? It's supposed to inspire terror. The records show this hasn't been done for over a year, but the response was quite satisfactory.*

*Undoubtedly, but to me it's funny. Anyway did you find out about the other races?

2731 showed him pictures of four of the races. Sulu and Bones were missing.

*All right. Thank you. We wait until all seven are represented, or until mutiny is about to explode. How is 1167 taking all this?*

*He's pretty closed-mouthed. Seems afraid to say anything.*

*Is he afraid for himself and his position, or is he afraid of making a mistake that will ruin it for everybody, or don't you know?*

*I don't know, but knowing him, it's probably the latter. He's very conscientious, but I've always had the feeling that he doesn't really like his job.*

*Do you like your job?*

*I did until this week.*

*Change is usually difficult. But there is good in your soul. You will weather this storm, and come out of it a better person. Call on Jesus when you feel overwhelmed.*

*Thank you. I do.*


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The next afternoon the dissenters gathered for the last time. It was a somewhat subdued group.

"What's the matter? Why are you depressed? Didn't you enjoy yourselves yesterday?"

Grudging affirmatives.

"Ah, you feel guilty because you had such a good time. Well, I can't fix that for you, much as I'd like to, but let me say this. There is no charge against you in my heart. As far as I'm concerned, you are guilty of nothing against me. You're keeping your part of the bargain, and I'm keeping mine. Or are you dissatisfied with my performance?"

No response. The third shift supervisor suddenly stood up.

"You've done exactly what you said you would. We could not be dissatisfied, could we?"

He glared at the rabble and got reluctant admissions of satisfaction. He turned back to Kirk and approached the platform.

"It's my turn today, and I want something a little different."

"Name it."

"I want to see truth, no acting - all the agony as you really feel it, but no fake fear, no planned disintegration. But you don't hide behind a mask of no reaction either. You don't control any of it. So whatever I see - agony, fear, anger - is the real you."

Kirk's eyes widened in surprise, but not apprehension.

"That's very different from what you wanted two days ago."

"It's harder to do though, isn't it? No reaction is easiest; then you can just think about something else until it goes away. But just how much of yourself are you willing to show us? Especially knowing that what you'll get from this crowd is mockery and persecution?"

"Yes, it's harder to do," Kirk readily admitted. "As to whether I'm willing, a prior question is whether they are willing. This is not what they agreed to."

The man turned to the others and got unanimous agreement, even from J'mik. He turned back to Kirk.

"If that's what you want, then that's what you get."

The next two hours was hard work for Kirk. Fear and anger were non-issues for him. But he had to continually force his mind to focus on the pain. And there was a subtle but definite difference between a completely relaxed body and a completely out of control body. Also he deliberately did not control the sound effects either. Somewhat to his surprise, there was no screaming, moaning or whimpering; only gasping and ragged breathing.

Finally the agony stopped. Slowly his breathing returned to normal and his body unclenched itself. His vision cleared, but his body would not stop shaking. He didn't try to stand. J'mik bent over him and helped him to a chair. That was when he realized the others were gone. Only J'mik and the third shift supervisor remained.

"I didn't hear them go."

"They have no stomach for the real thing." It was the third shift supervisor. "They can't stand to face raw courage. They left one by one, the last one more than half an hour ago."

Kirk glanced at the clock. "Surely I haven't been recovering for a half hour." The clock read thirty minutes past the two-hour point.

"No you haven't. I assumed you would stop at the two-hour mark, just as you had done before. I wasn't watching the clock. You got twenty minutes extra."

"My fault. The clock was the furthest thing from my mind. To do what you wanted, I had to focus my entire attention on the pain."

"You could have faked it."

Kirk chuckled. "Yes, I probably could have, but it never occurred to me. Even if I'd thought of it, I wouldn't have. You asked for the real thing, so straight reality is what you got."

"I wasn't sure you weren't faking until I realized you had no idea what time it was. But I have a couple of questions."

"Ask them."

"You never tried to get away from it. Why not? The body's natural reaction to pain is to avoid it. If anything, you pressed into it. Why?"

"I was actively and ongoingly refusing to control anything my body did. I would not have been surprised to be screaming and writhing on the floor, nor would I have refused to go there. Instead my body accepted the pain, welcomed it. I've been telling it to respond that way for months, so it's become a natural habit. Also, I'm not afraid of it. And that's not just a mask I put on to protect myself. I'm really not afraid, so my body isn't either."

"One other question: I never saw a hint of anger, not even in the worst of it. In fact, I was probably dreaming it, but my impression is that you were almost laughing. How could that be?"

"If I'd thought you would understand, I'd have been laughing out loud, but I didn't want you to think I was mocking you. It was a joyous laughter. To explain, I understood what you were doing - pushing, pressing, stretching me, looking for limits. Incidentally, you didn't even come close; you can't with these tools. Anyway, I recognized that this was more of what you were doing yesterday, wanting to know me.

"The reason for the joy is this. Your touch was night and day different from last time. Then you were angry, full of hatred and sadistic pleasure. There was no anger in this; a purposeful calculation, a determined get-the-job-done attitude, but no sadistic pleasure in the task. That means you are free of the bondage to sadism, and that is cause for much rejoicing."

"You felt all that through the wands? And you think I'm not sadistic now, even though what I actually did was far worse in intensity than what I did the last time?"

Kirk grinned at him. "Absolutely convinced of it, and no amount of denial will change my perception."

"And how do you account for such a drastic change?"

"I don't. I just rejoice in it."

The man stared at him thoughtfully for a moment, then seemed to reach a decision about something.

"If you've recovered sufficiently, let's retire to the mess hall. It has a somewhat better atmosphere, and I'm sure you could use a little refreshment."

xxxx

The three of them approached a table with their drinks in hand. 40712 was seated with another man. J'mik sat down next to 40712. Kirk moved to do likewise, but was halted by something in the body language of his former supervisor. He was standing behind the man seated across from 40712. Without a word, he removed his ID and dropped it over the head of the man seated in front of him. With a gesture, he indicated Kirk was to do likewise, giving his ID to 40712. Kirk complied, and the two of them moved to the other end of the table, sitting down with their drinks. The man began talking quietly.

"The cameras do not always catch every movement in a crowded room. The ID's contain microphones, but you cannot just take off the ID. It senses the absence of body heat and sets off an alarm. We do not know if it can tell that 40712 is not you. Since you are not of our race, maybe it can. He knows the risk he takes. We wait to see if he disappears."

Kirk said nothing as the man studied his face for a reaction.

"Risk is part of my business, but be assured that if he dies, you will die too."

Kirk remained calm and unalarmed.

"40712 urged me to risk it. He trusts you. I'm still not sure of you. Everything I've seen about you tells me he's right, but there's one thing in all you told me yesterday that doesn't ring true."

He waited for Kirk to deny or verify, to guess which untruth hadn't been believed. Well, he was a risk-taker too, and this felt like a crucial moment.

"It sounds plausible, but it's not the truth. I will tell you the truth, but you will have trouble believing it. And if you do not believe me, I risk not my life, but many, many lives on this planet."

And Kirk told the man exactly who he was and what he was here to do - the complete unedited truth. Throughout the tale, the man studied Kirk intently, giving no indication of belief or disbelief, but no surprise or alarm either. When he was finished, the man remained silent for long minutes, considering. Finally he sighed.

"That rings true, in spite of how incredible it sounds. Personally, I believe you, but I have much insight into your character. I can make no promise that the others will believe you. This complicates matters considerably. I had decided that if you told me the truth, I would attempt to enlist your aid in the coming bid for freedom. But now you tell me they know what we plan."

"I do not know how much they know. But that isn't really the issue. There is a way to obtain your freedom, but you have to be able to trust me. I will lead a mutiny on your behalf, and it will be successful, and it will be accomplished without bloodshed. But you have to let me do it my way. If not, then many lives will be lost."

"I don't have the authority to make such a decision for all of us. If I take you to the council and plead your cause, and you turn out to be a spy sent by the Watchers, then I am betraying my people."

"Kill me now then. You've got two choices: either trust me or kill me. Because I already know too much for you to be safe."

"The Watchers did not hear you say that."

"I know. And you're right, if they really thought you were going to do such a thing, they'd snatch me out of here, even though I've told them to stay out of it. But you could arrange a fatal accident at one of the intake vats. I plan to work the first several hours of third shift."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I want you to see that you _do_ have a choice. You do not _have_ to trust me. Trust that is not freely given isn't really trust."

"If the council doesn't believe you, they will kill you."

"I understand."

"Your fearlessness extends to death itself."

"I knew when I agreed to come that if I did not succeed, you would kill me. I have lived with the probability of my imminent death for a long time. It does not alarm me."

"You are either a superb actor, or a miracle. If you're really on our side-"

"I'm not. I'm not on their side either. I'm an outsider brought in to negotiate between both sides. But know this: I've already told them the slave system will have to go. They have perpetuated a system that treats people like animals, that has killed and enslaved thousands. And it's got to stop, and stop now. And if I cannot stop it without bloodshed, then mine will be the first blood shed."

"You would lay your life on the line for complete strangers?"

"You aren't strangers anymore. I've been here over two weeks."

"But you have been despicably treated."

Kirk grinned. "And I'm talking to one of the chief offenders. But I'm not offended. It's a non-issue, already forgotten."

"Even what I did to you today? I'm not apologizing, but I will explain. My chosen persona is the sadistic, cruel supervisor. It's convenient because everybody avoids me. It's easy to do because I despise weakness. I heard about the trashed bathrooms, and I saw what you did to 40712. I talked to him within the hour afterwards. He swore to me that you were fearless, and that you'd been in agony. I didn't believe him.

"That first shift you showed up on my team, I was sure you had to be military. A civilian would have cracked within the first hour. But not one hint of complaint did I see. Instead you sorted out which were real issues and which weren't, learned fast and worked hard. When 40712 told me you'd made him angry on purpose and why, I began to wonder if you could be useful to us.

"After your spectacular rescue of that diver, the workers stopped persecuting you. But by then I had a reason for wanting to know how much you could take, or would take. So I tripled my personal attack against you. My impression is that you didn't even hear what I said."

"I felt the emotional barrage, even through my exhaustion, but I didn't listen to the words. They were unimportant."

"I watched you all the way through that last shift. You were dead on your feet, but you wouldn't quit, wouldn't give up and admit you couldn't do it. I don't know that I've seen such stamina, such stubbornness before. You amazed me.

"Then came the discipline session. I was shocked at the punishment J'orn set, but I knew the rest of them were all going to have to be higher. I could do the math as well as anyone. There weren't enough hours available, even if you lasted. Obviously 40712 reached the same conclusion, but you wouldn't let them protest. And you weren't stupid enough to have not done the math. You knew what you were looking at. But you respected the authority of the system, even if it was wrong. Again I thought, you had to be military. If we could get you to lead it, if you lived that long, we just might have a chance to succeed.

"Then J'orn brought out the second wand, and I was appalled. How much could a man take. But you just stood like a statue, apparently oblivious. I was angry, annoyed, jealous, and frustrated. If I had to keep that up for six hours, the least you could do was feel it. I wanted to break your control in the worst way, and yet I was pleased that we didn't manage to do it.

"I was stuck with the rabble-rousers, because it fit my character. They thought you would starve us to death, just to get even. That didn't fit my picture of who you are, but I didn't tell them what I thought of you. It was after you let us out of jail that 40712 began urging me to trust you. I needed more data to support my impressions. That was the reason for yesterday's questions.

"And today's party: I was a bit disconcerted at how much you could tell about me without my saying a word. You knew what I was doing to you; you opened yourself and showed me unedited responses for over two hours: intense agony accepted without fear, without anger. Absolutely incredible."

Again he seemed to reach an inner conclusion.

"I will trust you, and heaven help us all if I'm wrong. 40712 is still with us, so I will take you to the council now. We will be gone three or four hours. Will anyone miss you?"

"No, not that I know of. J'kam expects me, but the time was not definite."

"It is not safe for us to leave together. Five minutes after I am gone, walk down the hallway toward the Speaker's rooms. A door on the left will be ajar. Go down the stairs to the lower level. The double doors at the end of the hall will be unlocked. At the end of the main room, you will find a hatch in the floor. Open it, descend, close and lock the hatch behind you. Do not allow anyone to see you do any of these things."

"Got it. See you soon."

Without another word, Kirk's former supervisor left. Kirk followed the instructions to the letter. After closing the hatch above him, he was in complete darkness. But he did not need to see in order to descend the ladder. He reached the bottom without mishap, some 25 feet below. Still in complete darkness, his hands were grabbed and tied behind him. A completely superfluous blindfold was put over his eyes.

The cord binding his wrists had a loose end. He felt that loose end be shook, sort of like the reins of a horse. Interpreting that to mean 'go', he started walking. His companion followed, holding the loose cord. The floor was smooth, so Kirk maintained a brisk pace, trusting that directional instructions would be given. He had no idea whether his companion could see where they were going, but if not, that was his problem, not Kirk's.

They walked what seemed like several miles altogether. Kirk made no attempt to remember the directional changes, which were communicated to him by moving the loose cord slightly to one side or the other. It was subtle, but accurate. At no time did Kirk run into a wall. Three times, he was halted, and spun round and round until he was dizzy. When they started out again, he had no idea what directional change, if any, had just taken place.

Finally he was halted again, and this time just left to stand. The loose cord hung straight down. He heard his companion speak to another man the ritual numerical greeting.

"You're early."

"I know. He walks faster than I anticipated."

"The others will be here soon."

"Turn on the spotlight, if you will."

Kirk sensed the heat of it, but no light penetrated his blindfold. He heard others enter the room and gather around. They inspected him like some strange alien specimen, which to them he was. Finally the meeting was called to order and his former supervisor was given the floor.

"As we discussed yesterday, I have brought you the alien, 46529. I guarantee you that he does not know where we are, nor could he find this place again. He cannot see any of us. He might recognize your voices, but it will do him no good without the faces to go with it. Nonetheless, he knows that he will not leave this place alive, unless he can secure your trust.

"I want you to look closely, gentlemen. Get past his strange alien appearance. Look at the way he stands: not quite military attention, casual confidence, but ready for action. This man knows what he can do. You should have seen him take over the unit and tell off the lot of us. Nobody considered arguing with him til we were out of his sight. Now look at the way he moves."

He picked up the loose cord and zig-zagged Kirk all over that room, making people scurry out of their way to avoid getting run over. After several minutes they returned to the spotlight.

"Notice how fast he walks, even when he can't see. He can hear though. He knows you had to move out of our way. No hesitation in his step. Notice how quickly he responds to direction, even very subtle direction. We didn't rehearse this. I didn't even explain it. I haven't said anything to him, nor he to me, since leaving the mess hall. He figures out what I want him to do and just does it, no complaint, no hesitation.

"I won't take time to repeat everything I told you yesterday. As for today, you know what I was going to do. He was not only willing but quite able to do as I asked. For over two hours he showed me all the agony he felt in such vivid detail that I could easily see what hurt the worst. Nor was he angry with me for using that knowledge to multiply his pain. He never tried to get away from it. At no time did I see any fear. This man's ability to endure, and his willingness to accept pain, persecution, and exhaustion are unsurpassed.

"In short, this man is well able to lead the project we have planned. But there is a problem. You remember I doubted one portion of his story. He has now told me the truth, and that truth changes everything. I think it only fair that you hear it directly from him. 46529, tell them what you told me."

But Kirk didn't. "I hate slavery. I hate oppression, fear, and the shedding of innocent blood. I will battle these things with all that is in me for as long as I live. I will lead your mutiny if you let me, but I will do it my way. There is a way to accomplish your purpose without bloodshed, and it will work even if you kill me. Listen carefully.

"I assume you represent each of the units of your race on this planet, and that you have sufficient influence in those units to command their actions. Pick a day and time so as to coordinate this to happen all at once. Simply stop working. Then they will be forced to listen to your demands. It would be best if you can coordinate with the other races too, but it will work even if you can't reach them.

"They have kept you in fear, thinking that if you tried such a thing, they would kill you and replace you with others who would work. And you have to be prepared for the possibility that they may try that, although I don't think they will. They cannot kill all of you at once. They cannot continue to function without the service you provide. If you all quit at once, they could not replace you fast enough to survive the crisis. They will have no choice but to talk, and give you what you demand.

"However, be careful what you demand. Don't make your demands so unrealistic that they gain nothing by saying 'yes'. Don't demand an immediate ticket home. Agree to resume work during the negotiation period. Make it to their advantage to keep talking. Work out a labor agreement; make them pay you for your work: aid to your families, paid vacation, retirement benefits - whatever you decide makes this job worth doing.

"But the first and most important thing I would demand is that they abolish the Speaker's job. Make them find a way to talk to you that's not fatal. With their level of technology, it's absurd to think that they can't. They've just used it to keep you terrified of them. Also, I don't know if all the units are doing the same work ours is, but any jobs that are unsafe or hazardous to your health have got to go. Make them engineer better ways to do the job. They ought to be able to automate the whole thing.

"Before I go on, are there any questions?"

"What you're suggesting sounds reasonable, except for one thing. How do we know they won't destroy our entire planet?"

"Do you know that they can? Did they say they would?"

"No, but we certainly got that impression when they first showed up and started taking prisoners."

"Well, I don't think they'll do that for the same reason that they won't kill all of you if you refuse to work. They can't afford to annihilate their workforce. But if you do, then why are you mounting a rebellion in the first place?"

"Circumstances within the past year or so indicate they are less strong than they used to be. If we can take out their spaceport in the first attack-"

Someone else interrupted. "Don't tell him our plans!"

"What are you attacking with: sticks and stones?" Kirk asked.

Dead silence.

"Never mind. I don't want to know anyway. If you're determined to get a bunch of people killed, including yourselves, I can't stop you. But I won't be a part of it, so you'll have to kill me first."

Uneasy silence. Nervous shuffling.

"What's the matter? You don't want to? If you balk at killing me, how can you hope to mount a successful attack against the Watchers? You think you won't have to kill any of them? You're dreaming!" His voice dripped with contempt.

"A bomb is impersonal."

"Even if you succeeded in blowing up the spaceport, what does that get you?"

"They couldn't get to our families."

"That's an act of desperation. It's also stupidity. I repeat, I won't be any part of this, so kill me now. There's no reason for further talk. Who's got the knife, or whatever you brought to kill me with?"

No one moved.

"Don't tell me you didn't come prepared?! The Watchers are afraid of you and your uprising, but if this is any example, they have little cause for worry. Look, I'll make it easy: no personal involvement, no mess. I'm going to walk out of here, and you can let me stumble around in the dark until either I encounter a fatal accident, or die of dehydration. Fatal accident would be faster. Anybody want to point me in the right direction?"

Nobody moved.

"Bunch of children!" Kirk muttered in disgust, and picking a direction at random, marched out of there.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

To Kirk's surprise, he did not encounter a wall. Instead, by chance, he was headed straight down a corridor. At least that's what it sounded like. He was not surprised to hear someone following him. He maintained his pace until that someone grabbed the loose end of cord. Then he stopped, but did not turn or speak.

"J'im, please." No surprise; it was the colleague who'd brought him here. He dropped the cord, and came around to face Kirk. "It's not their fault. They've been slaves too long to think any other way. They couldn't kill you; most of them are workers, not supervisors."

"Then why bother to threaten me in the first place?"

Slight pause before the quiet admission. "I have the knife."

"Then what are you waiting for? _You're _not afraid to kill me."

"No, I'm not. I just don't think it's the right answer."

"Then what is?" Kirk was still frustrated.

"I don't know. I'm still trying to sort out what you told me in the mess hall. Why didn't you tell them?"

Kirk sighed. "I was going to, but I wanted them to hear my solution first, in case they wouldn't listen afterwards. But honestly, if I'd told that bunch, they'd have panicked and run, thinking I was a spy. I don't understand why you're tied in with that crowd. It doesn't fit who you are."

"I sought out mostly workers, because supervisors are less trustworthy. The workers have more to gain, and less to lose."

"_You_ are the ringleader of this entire movement?!" The revelation was a shock.

"Yes. That's why I almost panicked when you told me who you were. I thought they had put you in my unit, because they knew I was the leader."

Recovering quickly, Kirk dismissed the man's worries. "I doubt they know who you are. Anyway, you better not leave your flock untended too long."

"Please come back with me."

"Why?"

"It would save time not to have to track you down in the dark."

"I could wait for you here."

"J'im, I want you to talk to them."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell them who you are."

"What good would it do? You're the one I have to convince."

"I told you already that I believe you," the man claimed.

"For whose security am I wearing blindfold and handcuffs?"

"Touché. But it's largely window-dressing. I know you could dispose of both in two minutes flat, if you decided to."

Kirk smiled and didn't deny it. "What purpose would that serve?"

"So you'll leave them on until I take them off you?"

"Yes, and I'll talk to them, not because I think it will do any good, but because you want me to."

"Thank you."

They returned to the gathering side by side. The circle parted and Kirk walked unerringly into the spotlight.

"I apologize for my anger, and for walking out on you. I made assumptions that I shouldn't have. Can you forgive me for my verbal abuse and let me start over?"

It took several minutes to explain the concept of forgiveness, but gradually the hostile silence changed to a murmur of tentative acceptance. 47318 was astonished at J'im's ability to change the atmosphere with his quiet but sincere voice. The attitude behind the voice was what did it. The man was not arrogant, but readily willing to admit he'd made a mistake.

Privately 47318 agreed with J'im's first assessment of the group. The only mistake he'd made, if any, was in telling them what he thought of them. But now he had them settled and ready to listen, their self-esteem several notches higher than before.

Kirk talked for an hour, sharing about his first encounter with the Watchers. He glossed over the events of the intervening time, telling instead how they had come to find him, believing that he could fix the mess they had created for themselves. Lastly he talked about how the seven of them had become slaves, so as to position themselves to be Speakers, and thus negotiate between Watchers and slaves.

"47318 asked me to tell you this, so I will now turn this meeting back over to him."

"That is the truth he told me today that changes everything, if it's true. I do not ask you to decide or carry out consequences. I brought him here; the responsibility is mine. I do ask for your opinion of its truthfulness. Do you believe what he has told you?"

No one spoke. After a few moments of silence, 47318 asked several individuals for their verdict.

"I want to believe it."

"He makes it sound true."

"I'm afraid to believe it."

"Yes, I do."

"No, it's preposterous."

And several variations thereon. In Kirk's opinion, by no means a clear majority opinion in either direction. But then he hadn't expected one. Only one declared he had to be a spy. 47318 thanked them for their responses, then dismissed the meeting, saying the next would be at the usual time, unless he sent word. Within minutes, they were alone.

"And what is your verdict?" Kirk asked with a smile.

"I wish I knew."

"I can't decide for you, but if you have questions, I'll be glad to address them."

"I just don't know."

"What made you decide to trust me in the mess hall?"

"Two things: your character - no one who would do what you had just done would turn around and lie to me; and also the fact that it would be stupid to tell me such a thing if it weren't true. Telling me ruined your chances of doing what you came to do. You aren't that stupid." 47318 took two steps away, then turned before continuing.

"But within two minutes of leaving the mess hall, I'd changed my mind. All kinds of 'what if' questions badgered me. Then that long walk in the dark, I changed my mind again. You so obviously trusted me, you couldn't be lying to me."

"The fact is, I could be. You have to decide without knowing for sure. That's the nature of risk. If you need some time to think about it, that's fine; I'll take a nap."

47318 stomped his foot. "You could sleep while you're waiting for me to decide whether to kill you?!"

"Not only could, but would. I can sleep anywhere. With the schedule I'm on, cat naps is all the rest I'm likely to get for quite a while."

"You set that schedule yourself. You drive yourself as hard as the Watchers did last week!"

"Not quite, but as hard as I can and still be mentally alert, yes."

"Why?"

"Because with the changes I'm trying to make, there's too much to do that can't be delegated."

47318 began pacing again. "Why are you trying to change things? Wouldn't it be easier to just tell everybody the Watchers want to set us free?"

"They want to, but they can't; not if they're going to survive. Besides, slavery has to be trained out of your thinking, before the fact of your freedom will result in any change. I've done nothing different than I would have if I were a real slave. Just because you're a slave doesn't mean you have to act like one."

"I've been trying to fight slave thinking ever since I got here. It's an uphill battle."

"Yes, but you've done well. You managed to conceive of mutiny. I want to help you succeed. Do your council members have any real influence in their units?"

"I doubt it; maybe a couple of them do. It was mostly for communication, so they would know what was going on if I did succeed. Also, to keep our hopes alive."

"What would it take to reach the leaders of each unit?"

47318 shook his head. "Very risky, too risky. That would be almost like telling the Speaker, like telling the Watchers themselves. The Leader is closely monitored. You can't even breathe without them knowing it."

"If that's true, then they know I left my ID with 40712, talked to you, and then disappeared from the maintenance level several hours ago, right?"

"Probably," he admitted miserably.

"And what would you predict they would do about it?"

"Snatch me, torture me for the ID of the others, and then kill me."

"And if they don't, would that be sufficient proof that my story is true?"

"Maybe."

"Would you believe it if you heard it directly from a Watcher?"

"What do you mean? Become a Speaker?"

"Not exactly."

xxxx

They stood facing each other on the platform of the assembly hall. Kirk had explained briefly what he had in mind. 47318 had agreed, if apprehensively. They had quickly walked back to their unit, skipping the spinning sessions, though 47318 had not removed the blindfold and cord until they reached the bottom of the ladder. 40712 was still in the mess hall. They retrieved their ID's and went straight to the assembly hall. Not a word had been spoken between them. 47318's apprehension grew by the minute, but Kirk ignored it.

"Watcher! Are you listening? This is Captain James T. Kirk. Transport us to your room. I want to talk to you. And bring my colleague too, if you would please."

For a long moment, nothing happened. Then they were in the Watcher's room. Only it wasn't 2731, but 2891, the Watcher of the first day. Kirk smiled at 47318.

"Take a deep breath and relax. Allow me to introduce you to one of our unit's Watchers. His number is 2891. I talked to him the first day, when you were observing. Since then, I've been talking to his partner. He's probably off duty at the moment."

Kirk picked up an arm, stroked it reassuringly, and placed it on 47318's head.

"One connection should enable you to hear his conversation with me. To talk to him, you have to have at least two. Is the pain bearable? Can you retain consciousness?"

"It feels strange, but it doesn't hurt."

"Then he hasn't made contact yet. Have you heard his voice in your head?"

"No."

Kirk turned to 2891 and gestured for him to contact 47318.

"Oh!" Gasp. "Yes, it's bearable, just. I don't know for how long." Pause. "Greetings, I am 47318."

"He can't hear you. If you want to ask a question, tell me, and I'll ask him."

Kirk gestured at 2891 to contact himself, and four tentacles descended rapidly onto his head.

*Captain Kirk, I did not expect this opportunity to talk with you. I owe you the deepest of apologies.*

*No, you don't. You were doing your job exactly as I wanted you to.*

*But not to have recognized you is inexcusable!*

*You did not expect to see me here. We did not tell you precisely because we wanted you to treat me like any other Speaker.*

*But I didn't! I attacked you ferociously.*

*And I made you look like a fool, so we're even.*

*But-*

*Look, can we talk about this later? My colleague has limited endurance.*

*I'm sorry, of course. What did you want to talk to me about?*

*47318 is trying to decide whether to trust me. Would you please tell him who I am, and what your orders are concerning me?*

*He does not trust you?! How could he not?!*

*He doesn't know what you know.*

*Very well. In words or pictures?*

*Can you transmit pictures with just one connection?*

*Among my people, yes. With yours or his, who knows?*

*Try it then.*

Kirk watched as 47318's eyes widened in surprise. It was a very condensed version of Kirk's history with their people. It included nothing about the current mission.

*I will have to use words for the rest. The picture history of the current situation has not yet been released. Captain Kirk and his team were brought here from their galaxy in the hopes that he can solve our crisis with the slave situation. I know very little more than that, except that my instructions are to follow his orders, no matter what they might be.*

*Thank you.* "47318, do you have questions?"

"I... I hardly know what to say. I'm overwhelmed, but one question occurs. He said that he doesn't know your plans. How can that be?"

"His job is to watch, and do what I tell him to. He doesn't have to understand why. But I haven't given him much in the way of instructions. Other than this meeting, all I've said is: treat me like a slave, and stay out of it, no matter what it looks like."

"But surely someone knows what you plan?"

"First knows basic elements, but each of us was expected to have to improvise. They brought us here because they trust me. Details are unimportant."

"Everybody trusts you, so why don't I?"

"Because you are in bondage to fear."

"That's why they trust you - because you freed them from fear."

"I showed them where freedom can be found, but I didn't free them. Jesus did. I'll be glad to tell you about Him, but not here."

*Thank you for your help, 2891. Please send us back to the assembly hall now.*

47318 was clearly not used to instantaneous transport. He staggered at the change in gravity. Without a word to Kirk, he sank heavily into the nearest chair.

"You have much to ponder, and I have work to do. I've already left J'kam longer than I meant to. I'll be glad to talk to you again tomorrow, but if you want to hear about Jesus before then, ask J'mik."

"You're just assuming I trust you, that I'm not going to kill you?"

"I'm not going to change my behavior whether you trust me or not. I've already told you how it could be done, and the opportunity will be there tomorrow, or the next day, or even next week. But I'm not worried, and I'm not afraid of you."

"Is there nothing you fear?"

"A few things, but you're not one of them. I refuse to fear you."

"You refuse? As if you could simply decide not to?"

"This whole situation is a battle against fear. I will work relentlessly to drive it out of those around me, and I will not tolerate it in myself. The reign of terror is over. Get used to it."

And Kirk left.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

J'kam was glad to see him, but not anxious or overburdened by his absence. Kirk urged him to begin considering candidates for promotion to shift director and assistant shift director. He himself would be focused on other departments in the coming weeks, and J'kam could not personally supervise all three shifts any more than Kirk could.

Kirk worked most of third shift while J'kam slept. Occasionally he had to refuse to entertain thoughts of a fatal accident. He rebuked the Enemy, and prayed blessings upon 47318.

Kirk's visit with 2731 that night was hysterically funny. The usual sort of attack as soon as he arrived was followed by the same arm around the neck routine. Dragged backwards, he was flung onto the floor, turned end for end, and stretched spread-eagled as before. But this was flat on the floor, not in midair. The usual barrage of tentacles raked his body, and he began to think this was boringly repetitious.

Suddenly 2731's huge body loomed over him, and he was coming closer. Kirk knew immediately what 2731 was going to do, and he laughed. He couldn't move, but he continued to laugh. The view of 2731's body from this angle was overwhelming. He wondered if the camera could see what he saw. Within moments his feet were covered. Somewhat to his surprise, the vast bulk did not feel heavy. Instead it was like a soft warm blanket. Kirk laughed harder.

As the leading edge approached his face, Kirk decided he should stop laughing and start breathing. He was undoubtedly going to be completely covered for several minutes. But it was just too funny. He couldn't stop laughing; rather he chose not to. Their last sight of him would be outright laughter, in defiance of something that was supposed to be terror-provoking. Suddenly eight tentacles descended on his face, and contact was immediate.

*What's so funny!?*

Kirk tried to get serious, but it took him a minute.

*Sorry. It was great. Especially if you got a camera at the right angle to see what I was seeing.*

*Show me.*

So Kirk did, as vividly as he could recall it through his laughter.

*I see why getting this on camera would be good. I do not see why it is funny.*

*Please don't be offended. I'm not laughing at you, or your idea. It's great! It looks terror-provoking. I'm laughing partly because it produces no terror in me, and partly because what it actually feels like is a soft warm blanket.*

*All right. Tell me what you want done with the video footage.*

*I want you to do the same thing you usually do. The difference is I won't be dead.*

*Do you want closeups of the face?*

*One or two if you can make them look accidental, but don't overdo it.*

*I usually deposit the tape in the newcomer's room.*

*That's fine. I'll ask J'orn to take care of it.*

*Any instructions?*

*Make tomorrow's show a good finale. It's the last you'll have to do. I haven't decided for sure about next week, but it won't be like what we've been doing. You'll just have to listen carefully. I'll manage to tell you what I want before I get here. I'm sure you know I've made contact with the rebels. I'm still awaiting developments, but don't be surprised if I continue to disappear for hours at a time.*

*I heard about this afternoon. 1167 told me he had some trouble getting 2891 calmed down. He was sure you were in danger.*

*Well, I was. But there's nothing you can do about it, and nothing I want you to do. No interference, even well-intentioned interference, or I quit. Is that clear?*

*Yes, sir.*

*Now, is there any further word on the two races that still don't have one of my people in place as Speaker?*

*No, sir. No change. I don't have details.*

*I don't want any. It's not safe for you to try to get that information. Leave them be. I trust my people. Are there any reported problems from the Speakers you do have?*

*No, sir. 1167 said none of them have uttered a word about who they really are.*

*And they won't until I send them word.*

*How will you do that?*

*I don't know yet.*

*There's a lot about this you don't know.*

*Does that bother you?*

*I should think it would concern you.*

*One step at a time. What to do will become clear when it's time to do it.*

xxxx

Kirk got several hours of sleep the next morning. Then he went through the building doing a surprise inspection. A number of things weren't working well yet, but the plant floor was running smoothly. Even the supervisor's team was working hard.

Then he met with J'orn who reported the mobile units were holding together, but not much more than that.

"J'orn, I want you to work first shift tomorrow on the plant floor. Let J'kam put you to work, and plan to get thoroughly filthy. You're an able administrator, but you can't effectively lead this unit if they think you won't get dirty."

"But you lead this unit now, not me!"

"My duties will increasingly take me elsewhere. If I have to, I'll leave J'kam in charge. But he's best right where he is. So will you do it?"

"Yes, sir, I will. After all the filth you walked in last week, if all you're asking is one shift, I'm getting off easy."

"Good. The first of next week, I'm going to be picking elite teams to go teach other units what we're doing. Let me know your recommendations. Oh, and pick up the usual videotape for rest day's meeting. I'm not dead, but there will be a tape, and it should be a doozy. Last thing, has anybody turned in any disciplinary reports?"

"No. I think they're afraid to."

"If anybody tries, talk them out of it. I don't want any punishments this week."

xxxx

Kirk went to the mess hall for a meal. 47318 and J'mik were there. So was 40712. Kirk sat with them, ate in silence, and listened to their talk. J'mik and 40712 were comfortable. 47318 was not. When Kirk was finished, he looked up.

"Want to talk?" He fingered his ID. "With or without?"

Without a word, 47318 got up, draped his ID over J'mik's head and walked out. Kirk gave his ID to 40712 with a smile of thanks, and followed 47318 out the door. Keeping him in sight, Kirk casually followed at a distance. When 47318 headed down the stairs to the lower level, Kirk knew where he was going, and followed more slowly. Once again he reached the bottom of the ladder in complete darkness. No rope or blindfold awaited him, but he heard footsteps moving away from him. He started walking and within minutes had caught up with 47318. But he said nothing and continued to follow the footsteps. Finally they stopped and a dim light was switched on.

"I don't need the light, if you don't," Kirk urged.

"It has taken every ounce of determination I have to let you follow me down here. I'm not going to sit here and talk to you if I can't see you."

"You could tie my hands again," Kirk suggested mildly.

"No! I won't. I refuse. If you can refuse to fear me, then I can do the same."

Kirk chuckled. "Then turn off the light," he challenged.

The man stared at him, rigid with tension. He took a deep breath and flipped the light off. Kirk took a step toward him; he backed into the wall.

"Come back here," Kirk urged quietly.

Slowly he did.

"Hold out your hands in front of you, palms up."

Kirk sensed movement.

"When I touch your hands, do not move. No jerk, no twitch, completely motionless."

Kirk slowly raised his own hands to meet 47318's. As he made contact, 47318 jerked his hands upward, and growled at himself in frustration.

"Lower your hands onto mine." He did. "Now relax all your arm muscles. Feel your hands heavy in mine. If I let go, your hands will fall. Good. Very good. Now raise your hands the width of a fist. Take a deep breath, and let it out. Now, I want you to feel that same heaviness, without moving your hands. Focus on the heaviness. When I touch your hands, they will immediately rest in mine, but you will not move."

Kirk again brought his hands up. This time contact was smooth, without tension.

"How did you do that?" 47318 marveled.

Kirk chuckled. "You did it. I just told you what to do. Do you fear me now?"

Immediate tension, then forced relaxation.

"No. I refuse to fear you."

"Then perhaps we should sit down. Get comfortable."

"I will _not_ turn on the light," 47318 said to himself.

Kirk sat down and leaned against the wall. After a moment 47318 did likewise.

"So what do you want to talk about?"

"You continue to surprise me. You do things I don't expect. You think different. You rattle me. You press my comfort zones, but it's not hostile. I don't understand you."

"You don't have to understand. The question is: are you going to trust? I want to work with you. You would be a great asset in accomplishing my goal. But if you cannot trust me, I will have to find someone else."

"Your goal. How can I be sure your goal is the same as mine? Especially when you keep doing things I don't expect."

"Was that a bad thing that I did just now?"

"No. Uncomfortable, but not bad."

"Have I done anything you consider bad since I got here?"

47318 thought for several moments.

"No, but that doesn't mean you won't once I'm in your power."

"How can I make you do anything you don't want to do? What power do I have over you?"

"You could deceive me into thinking something was good that in fact wasn't."

"I have deceived you in only one thing, and you sensed it immediately. It would have been easier for me to stick to the plausible story, but for you, nothing but the truth would do. Having discovered that fact and corrected my error, what kind of foolishness would it be to attempt to deceive you again? And even if I were to be so foolish, would you not again sense it immediately? Can you not trust your own senses?"

"I am afraid."

"I know of only one way to conquer the fear that holds you captive. Did you talk to J'mik?"

"No. I went to sleep."

"Let me tell you a story - several stories, in fact - all true."

Kirk shared about Jesus, and about how Konti and Koh had come to believe, and then about J'mik. He shared how his trust in Jesus left no room for fear to attach itself to him. Then he shared in detail about his battle with fear in Koh's lab: what had caused it, how fiercely he had refused to let it rule him, and finally beaten it into submission. But it had left only when the Lord delivered him from it.

"So now you have a decision to make. I can pray for you, and you'll get temporary relief from the fear. But if you want the power to banish it from your life, you need Jesus dwelling in you. But He'll not force His way in. You have to invite Him."

"This Jesus is the reason you are fearless?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Then I want what you have."

Kirk led him to the Lord, prayed for his deliverance, and heard the Lord set this man free.

Kirk would have let him enjoy his liberty for a day before discussing business, but 47318 would have none of it. He insisted on discussing the mutiny, Kirk's role, his own, and numerous details Kirk hadn't even considered yet. They talked another two hours, and agreed to meet again the following day.

xxxx

2731's finale was quite a performance. It contained elements of all the previous shows woven together into a continuous barrage of sensations that went on longer than any of the previous sessions. Kirk was dizzy, disoriented, in constant pain, and winded from being thrown to the floor. He felt completely helpless in the middle of a storm he could not control. His soul responded with an unconditional 'yes' to all of it.

Shortly after he was stretched in midair for the third or fourth time, he was plummeted to the floor, landing on his back, still stretched spread-eagled. Within moments, 2731's vast bulk was again gradually covering him. This time however, his face and head were covered as well. He was without an air supply for two minutes. He lay peacefully waiting with no thought of struggle. Even if 2731 was making a mistake, Jesus wasn't. Even if he died, Jesus could bring him back.

Suddenly a tentacle reached his head, bringing with it a small pocket of air. Kirk breathed. By the time that air was used up, a new tentacle had arrived with more air. The seventh and eighth brought hoses for intake and outflow, and he had a fresh air supply. Then 2731 made contact.

*You okay?*

*I'm fine. Very clever. My congratulations. I assume the camera can't see the provided air supply. We better keep this short though, or they'll never believe I didn't die.*

*1167 wished me to tell you we have one more Speaker in place, from this race.*

The picture he showed Kirk was of Sulu's assigned race. That left only Bones.

*Great. Tomorrow's rest day, so no meeting. I'll let you know about next week. Also, I need to work with the mobile units next week, so I'll be out and about some. I'm not going to try and contact my people, but it could happen. We'll just have to play it by ear. Progress with the rebels is developing. Unlikely at this point that they're going to kill me. Again, stay out of it, unless I give you orders to the contrary. One other question: is there any precedent for one unit teaching another anything about efficient operations?*

*Not that I know of. I'd have to check the records.*

*Okay. Get back to me on that first thing next week. I better go now. Thanks for all your help. It was a great show.*

Kirk spent most of that day planning. The first part of the day was taken up in meetings. Then he spent long hours planning for personnel reassignment. Then more meetings. It was a long day. The last hour of third shift, he halted production and put everybody to work cleaning up.

He slept soundly for almost eight hours, the longest rest he'd had all week. After a brief prayer time, he gathered his personnel lists and went to the assembly hall. J'kam took attendance and announced all were present. Kirk stepped up to the podium.

"Good morning. I trust you are all well-rested. One week ago, I told you that the reign of terror was over. I stand before you today, having survived six encounters with the Watcher. J'orn has the tape. Please watch."

Kirk sat down, and J'orn played the tape. 2731 had done a masterful job of editing. The whole was definitely greater than the sum of the parts. Even Kirk, who had lived it, was left with the impression that it had been awful. In spite of the fact that he knew it had not been awful, it looked terrible. When the tape was finished, a profound silence pervaded the room. Kirk returned to the podium.

"I showed you that tape for only one reason: I want you to believe that I can be Speaker no matter what they throw at me. I am not weakened; I am not injured; I am not afraid. Furthermore, I can be Speaker for the indefinite future, and there will be no change in my response to it. Therefore I declare to you that the reign of terror is over.

"Now we have some other business to discuss. First, let me commend all of you who worked the plant floor this week. You did an outstanding job, all of you. You were asked to tolerate major changes in the way things are run. Some of you worked harder than you ever have before. Some of you took on leadership responsibilities that you'd never been given before. As a result, production figures at the end of the week were double what they were at the beginning. We are well on our way to becoming the highest producing unit on this planet. I'm very proud of you.

"As you know, I announced last week that there would be a reward for the team with the highest total output for the week. The winning team is from second shift, line 3. Will the ten of you come up to the platform as I call your numbers."

He read off the list of numbers, and they gathered in a line across the platform, facing the audience. He praised their work, honored their character, and stroked their egos. Then he shook the hand of each one after explaining the cultural significance of this gesture. Finally he called them together in a huddle, and asked them whether they wanted him to announce to all what the reward was, or keep it a secret between them. And he told them the reward. They opted to have him announce it.

"The winning team has decided to let you know the reward they will be enjoying. A similar reward will be available next week. This team will meet with me here later today for a one-hour session in which I will teach one of your race how to endure pain the way I do. So if that topic is of interest to you, perhaps you will work a little bit harder to be the winning team next week. Thank you, gentlemen. You may take your seats.

"Now some of you are thinking it's not fair, because you don't work the plant floor. Why can't we have a contest in your department? And maybe we will. But here's what I'm going to do. Beginning tomorrow, I will choose one person each day who will receive a one-hour private coaching session. To be considered for this, you have to express an interest, and be recommended by your immediate superior. Supervisors, please turn in your requests and recommendations no later than the beginning of third shift each day.

"The rest of our business concerns production issues and assignment of personnel. Support staff: You get one more week before I mess with your department. That inspection a few days ago turned up a few things that need fixing. If you take care of it yourselves, I won't have to mess. Everyone in that department including supervisors is free to go. Please leave quietly, and have a good rest day.

"Mobile units, please be patient; I will get to you. But first the plant floor. As I said, you've done well. But I'm making some more changes. You've had ten people on a team. This week you'll do the job with eight. The first job to go is the intake vat diver. From now on, the pot stirrer does his own diving. Where you split the other jobs will be up to the individual supervisor. In most cases, I'm promoting the supervisor and assistant supervisor out of your team. In a few cases, I'm rearranging entire teams. None of these moves are because any of you have done anything wrong. I'm simply maximizing the available manpower. So get used to it. Flexibility will be needed for some time yet."

He read the long list of personnel reassignments. The 24 he had chosen for his elite teams were to report to the assembly hall for second shift the next day. Then he dismissed the plant floor workers, telling the winning team to return in two hours for their promised reward. Thus he was left with the mobile units. He reseated them by shift and then by team.

"All right. Talk to me. What problems do you have? J'orn said you're just barely holding it together. Why? What needs to be changed? How can I help?"

They were reluctant to begin, but once a couple of them broke the ice, the comments, complaints, questions, and suggestions poured forth for almost two hours. Kirk just listened, occasionally asking a question for clarification. As long as it was directed at him, he offered no argument against their complaints. Only when they began picking on each other did he quiet the complainer.

When time was up, he thanked them for sharing, and said he would consider everything they said. For now there would be no changes, but they would be seeing him throughout the week, at least for first shift, and possibly parts of all three shifts. Last he scheduled a meeting with J'orn, J'bit, J'ot and 40712 for two hours hence.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

He dismissed the mobile units, and the winning team was waiting for him. Kirk spoke briefly with J'orn, who assured him he still wanted to do this. So Kirk ushered in the ten, and locked the doors. They took seats in the front row; J'orn stood alone in the middle of the platform.

"In order to show you how I do what I do, I required a guinea pig: someone of your race willing to let me teach him to do what I do. J'orn volunteered. Some of this will not be easy for him, and it may not be pretty. When we are finished, if any of you have doubts about his courage, come and talk to me. At any point, if you don't understand what's going on, interrupt me with a question. This is a teaching session, and there's no such thing as a dumb question."

Kirk turned to J'orn, took off his tunic, and gestured for J'orn to do the same. Then he fetched the wands, and placed them on a nearby table.

"J'orn, close your eyes. For the next hour, nothing exists except the sound of my voice. It's all you hear; it's all you respond to. There is no audience; the room we are standing in is irrelevant. The first step in dealing with pain is to relax your body. Tension is the body's natural instinctive response. You must retrain your body. It will do what you tell it to, if you tell it often enough and strongly enough."

Kirk worked with J'orn for several minutes to achieve a measure of relaxation, by no means complete. Then he did the same hand exercise he had done with 47318. After that, he began to touch him with his finger randomly all over his chest and arms. Keeping up a quiet voice of encouragement, Kirk worked at it for some ten minutes, til J'orn could avoid jerking every time he touched him.

"Now, I want you to imagine that my finger is the wand. Every time I touch you, it will burn. The pain is intense. Yes, you're feeling it. Imagine that the pain is overwhelmingly awful. What will your body do? Yes, relax, accept it. It has no power to move you.

"Good. Now, while the body is continuing to accept this imaginary pain, focus your mind on something completely different - perhaps the most enjoyable event you can remember."

J'orn couldn't come up with any vividly remembered enjoyable experience, so Kirk created one for him, and described it in vivid detail. In the middle of his description, Kirk switched from his finger to the wand. Tears streamed down J'orn's face, but he never moved. After a few minutes, Kirk stopped and told J'orn to open his eyes.

"How did you know?" J'orn stammered.

"Know what?" Kirk was puzzled.

"The place you described - the mountains, the stream, the flowers, the birds - you have never been there! How could you know?!"

"I didn't. I was making it up. But the words fit a memory you already had, and triggered the picture in your mind. Can you tell me what your body felt like while you were thinking of home?"

J'orn thought a moment. "No. I don't remember."

"Are you aware that I started using the real wand instead of my finger?"

"No! Really? Turned on, I mean?"

"Yes. See?" And he showed him the dial set on 5.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing. This illustrates my most common response to pain. Having told the body to accept it, I simply think about something else. Our time is about half gone. I have shown you the basic techniques. The rest is practice. However, there is one other element. The level of endurance can be increased by stretching the limits. When you are pushed beyond the point you think is the limit, you find that the point of too much keeps moving a little farther out.

"I have a question for you. When you came in here today, was there anything that you vowed to yourself you would never do, no matter what I did to you?"

"How did you know?"

"It was likely. What is that something?"

"I told myself I would not attack you."

Kirk smiled. "Okay. Take this wand. Set it on 10 and turn it on. Now touch me with it. This is not attacking me. You're obeying orders."

J'orn still balked. Kirk picked up the other wand and turned it on 10 also.

"This one too. Touch my cheeks. I insist. There's something I want you to see."

Slowly J'orn complied.

"Now hold them in place, and look into my eyes. What do you see of my soul?"

"Intensity of purpose, a larger-than-life destiny."

"And what do I think of you, or this pain you are causing?"

"Your attention is focused on me, not on the pain. It is merely a tool to be used when needed. There's no emotional content associated with it."

"Exactly. And there won't be any when you attack me either."

"What!" J'orn withdrew the wands, and Kirk let him. "But I'm _not_ going to attack you! I told you that is the one thing I will not do."

"Yes, you will. In a few minutes, I'm going to apply more pain than you can possibly tolerate. You can scream and carry on all you want, but the pain will not cease until you attack me. When you attack me, the pain will stop. Remember that."

"I _will not _attack you. I promise."

"Are you willing to let me take you where you refuse to go? Let me push you beyond your limits? I guarantee you it's going to be horrendously awful."

"Yes," was J'orn's firm reply.

"Then give me the wands." J'orn did. "Now take off your sandals. Put your hands on your head and close your eyes."

J'orn was rigidly tense before Kirk even touched him. When he touched the wands to J'orn's armpits, J'orn's eyes popped open, he jerked violently and began gasping for breath. _At this rate he's not going to last five minutes_, thought Kirk.

But he did. Kirk drove him relentlessly. The jerking became more violent, then degenerated into constant shaking. He began to sway on his feet, but he refused to go down. He tried to control his breathing, with some measure of success. Kirk could see him trying to relax, but with the constant torment, he couldn't manage it. For about ten minutes, J'orn hung onto his control by a thread. Kirk began looking for a way to end this quickly.

Suddenly Kirk put his foot into J'orn's back and pushed him over onto his face. Before he had hit the ground, Kirk had the wands planted on the bottom of J'orn's feet. He screamed, he arched his back, he pounded the floor with clenched fists. But he did not move the feet. Kirk was surprised, but he pressed the attack on the feet for five minutes. No change, except J'orn stopped screaming.

Abruptly Kirk turned J'orn onto his back with a well-placed foot. Immediately Kirk went to work on the face, neck and ears. J'orn became almost motionless. He still pounded the floor with a fist, but his head did not move. He remained rigidly tense, and his breathing became shallow. Kirk wondered if he was going to pass out.

After several minutes, the fist pounding stopped. J'orn forced himself to put his arms over his head. Kirk obligingly put the wands into his armpits. No scream, no jerk, hardly a gasp. Kirk moved the wands to the wrists, silently asking J'orn to open his clenched fists. After a moment, he did, with rigidly splayed fingers. Kirk put the wands on the palms of J'orn's hands. Then one by one, ran them up to the tips of each finger. Then Kirk returned his attention to J'orn's face.

Shortly thereafter J'orn suddenly relaxed. Kirk was startled, but J'orn didn't look unconscious. So Kirk returned to the hands. This time they remained in an open relaxed position. Back to the face: eyes closed, breathing calm. Back to the feet: no scream, no movement, no change in breathing. Kirk quit. J'orn opened his eyes and looked at Kirk.

"I thought you said-"

"I know, but time is up, so you win. Congratulations! As a student, you have far exceeded my expectations."

Kirk helped him up, and they both got dressed. Kirk turned to the audience.

"Any questions?"

"Could you teach anyone to do that?"

"Did you give him any coaching ahead of time?"

"How could anybody relax in the middle of all that?"

"I could give the instruction to anyone. That does not mean, however, that anyone could do what he did with it. I did not give him any advance coaching. You heard all the instruction he received. I did not expect him to be able to apply it so effectively. J'orn, will you tell them how you managed to relax?"

"I just did what you had told me to. I was frustrated that it was taking so long. I was rattled that you were so sure I would attack you. I spent maybe the first ten minutes repeating to myself over and over again: I will not attack him; I _want_ him to do this.

"It was when you knocked me over and went for my feet that I began to realize that if I didn't start applying what you had told me, that maybe I would end up attacking you. My body was so tense that relaxing was inconceivable. I was too distracted to think about home. But I could imagine your voice telling me what to do.

"The hands were the worst. Worse than the face; even worse than the feet. If I had known, I don't know if I would have opened my hands like you wanted. But anyway, having survived the worst, it was as if there was nothing left to fear, so relaxing became easy. I don't know if it would work that way again."

"Thank you for sharing, and for volunteering to be my student."

Kirk dismissed the audience, and he and J'orn walked down the hall to the conference room. They had almost an hour before the scheduled meeting.

"J'orn, is there anything about all that that you wish to discuss in private?"

"Yes, there is. J'im, how much worse than that is the Speaker's job?"

"It's different. A completely different kind of pain: stabbing like needles or knives, rather than burning like fire. The intensity varies depending on how many tentacles. Why do you ask?"

"Before you came, I was Leader here for three years. Every week, I had to choose which two would die. It never got easy. But it never occurred to me that we could train ourselves to deal with the pain, and not die." He took a deep breath. "I want you to teach me to be Speaker."

"I do not know if you can learn to be Speaker, but I understand why you want to, so I will try, and we will see."

He scheduled a two-hour session each day for the next week, warning J'orn that the schedule was subject to change. They spent the remainder of their time discussing Kirk's plans for the week, and J'orn's place in them.

J'bit, J'ot, and 40712 arrived on time, and Kirk set them to discussing the problems of the mobile teams. It was clear that the biggest problem was the attitude of the workers. They considered themselves a cut above those who worked the plant floor. But because they saw a bit of how others on this planet lived, they resented even the work they did have to do.

Nonetheless, there were other problems. The routing schedule was highly inefficient, with teams crossing paths with very little organization. The list of plumbing repairs needed kept growing. The team designated to perform repairs was inept at best.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do. First, the attitude problem: get me a list of the five worst offenders from each shift. When they show up for work tomorrow, send them to J'kam. They'll work the plant floor for a day. And if necessary, we can do it again each day this week. I don't want to have to resort to the discipline wand. Also, we'll institute the same kind of contest between the teams as we have on the plant floor. If those two things don't fix the attitude problem, we'll have to do a major reorganization of personnel. I'm guessing there's people working the plant floor that would love to get promoted to a mobile team.

"Second issue: the organization of routes. Throw out the existing system and start from scratch. Get some maps, or make them if there aren't any. Optimize everybody's time. Which of you has the right kind of mind for this task?"

J'orn spoke up. "J'ot does."

"Okay. J'ot, it's your job then. Keep making changes all week if you have to, but I want an efficient routing system."

"Yes, sir."

"Third issue: the repairs. Which of you is the best plumbing engineer?"

"J'bit," J'orn supplied.

"All right. J'bit, I'm creating a separate department of engineers, with you as its head. Pull people from any other department in this unit. Put together two teams of repair crew, first and second shift. If you've got enough for third shift too, great, but only if you've got somebody good enough to delegate running that shift.

"40712, that leaves you to supervise all the teams. Place people as you see fit. Promote diligence. Be looking for somebody to place in charge of each shift. I'll help first shift, J'orn second, and J'ot third. But I'd like it if you don't need us after the first couple of days.

"Anybody have questions?"

Nobody did.

"Okay. One other thing. 40712, the rest of us are going by names not numbers. This is entirely voluntary, but would you like to tell us your name?"

"J'rad. And thank you. I count it a privilege."

"You're welcome. Do you know all our names?"

"I don't know yours."

"I'm Jim. Feel free to call me that anytime, anywhere. All right, we have lots of work to do."

J'orn and J'bit talked through the entire personnel list, and made a list of people for the repair crews. J'rad had a few suggestions to offer, but mostly he worked with J'ot on the routing system. Kirk sat back and let them do what they were good at. After a while he excused himself, and went to find J'kam. It was almost Speaker time, and he was developing an idea. Returning with J'kam, he interrupted their work.

"I know you're not finished, and may well have to start first shift before you're ready. However, it's almost Speaker time, and I want to offer you an opportunity. You five are the top leadership of this unit. The elite group I will be developing will not replace you. They will be going to other units with me. I will be giving this opportunity to them, but I want to offer it to you first.

"This week, I'm not going to have anyone in the observers' room. J'orn, you need not even accompany me. There have been no instructions that require recording, and that's not likely to change soon. They're watching to see what I do. If we are successful, they won't argue with success. Meanwhile, they watch and wait. Here's my offer. Any of you that want to can go with me to the Watcher's room. It should only take a few minutes. Then you can get back to your work.

"Don't look so shocked at the idea. The gravity's about a third of what you're used to, and the lighting is a little disorienting. But you won't be hurt. I rather think he won't even bother to attack me. He exhausted himself last week. But there won't be any more rest day videos, so this is your only chance. But it's entirely voluntary."

"I will come," J'orn spoke up.

"Me too," put in J'kam.

"Count me in," voted J'rad.

So J'bit and J'ot also decided to come, though somewhat apprehensively.

"Watcher, are you listening?" Kirk spoke to the air. "We'll dispense with the Speaker's room. You can pick us all up from here. Any time you're ready."

Nothing happened.

"Relax. He can do this. He just wasn't expecting it, and we are a little early. When we get there, move slowly, or you'll be bouncing off the ceiling. Line up against the wall, and you'll be out of the way."

Suddenly they were there. Kirk shepherded his flock up against the nearest wall, assured them everything would be fine, and turned his attention to the Watcher. 2731 was clearly uncertain what Kirk wanted, so he gestured for 2731 to approach. Then he turned back to the audience, ignoring 2731's advance.

"He cannot hear anything we say here, so feel free to talk among yourselves. If he covers my head, I won't be able to see or hear you either. He can see you though, in spite of the fact that he doesn't appear to have eyes."

By this time the tentacles were beginning to encircle Kirk.

"Looks like he's going to wrap me up in a neat package. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

And Kirk proceeded to describe 2731's skin, and how warm he was. He described the massage effect of the squeezing. Then he grabbed a tentacle and showed them the end, where the little needles were clearly to be seen. When the needles raked the body, it simply caused pain. When they were attached to the head, contact was made, mind to mind.

Kirk was now almost completely enclosed. Again reassuring them there was nothing to fear, he bid them wait patiently. Contact was immediate.

*Am I doing what you want?*

*Yes, it's just fine. The number of fingers I beckon you with is the number of tentacles I want. If I put them on my head, then dispense with the circling. Any news for me?*

*No change from last time. And the records do not show any occasion where one unit aided or instructed another. There's no precedent for it at all.*

*What is the Watcher's likely response if I show up in other units and start suggesting changes?*

*His instinct would be to pull you out of there immediately. Some might check with 1167 first; some wouldn't. And their treatment of you would be pretty hostile.*

*Worse than what you and I did last week?*

*Well, no, but-*

*What?*

*They're not used to a slave being in any condition to talk back. I don't know if they would even listen to you.*

*What about those I bring with me? Would they be left alone, or similarly attacked?*

*Again, it depends. If you're clearly the leader and the others make no moves without you, he might take just you. But he might play it safe and take all.*

*All right. I'll leave it up to 1167 whether to warn them I'm coming. I'd rather he didn't, but if he thinks it's necessary, I'll work with it. We won't be ready to implement for a day or two anyway.*

*Anything else?*

*That does it for today. See ya.*

Shortly thereafter, they were back in the conference room.

"Any questions?"

"It's so much more in reality!"

"The video doesn't convey the half of it!"

"You don't consider what he did to you an attack?"

"How can you be so matter-of-fact about it?"

Only J'orn remained silent.

"In comparison to what we did last week, no, that was not an attack. And why shouldn't I be calm? It was just a conversation."

"What did he say?"

"We talked about my plan to go to other units. He can make no promises about how I'll be treated. I think that he thinks me a fool. But he didn't actually forbid it, so I'm going ahead with it."

xxxx

Kirk accompanied J'ot and J'rad to the mobile teams gathering room. It was crowded with 60 people in it. He stood on a box and called for quiet.

"All right. Listen up everybody. We've made some changes, and we'll be making more as the week progresses. The following five people are to report to J'kam for work on the plant floor today. If you behave yourselves, and put in a good day's work, you'll be back here tomorrow. If not... How many days do you want to work the plant floor?"

J'rad read the list of numbers. With considerable grumbling and disruptive behavior, they left. Kirk waited til they were gone and then continued.

"If any of the rest of you want to work the plant floor tomorrow, then continue to behave as those five have been behaving. If not, then I suggest you remember that working a mobile team is a privilege. There's not a single one of you that cannot be replaced. If you will not work, and work diligently, I will replace you with those who will. Enough said.

"Next order of business: the following five people will report to J'bit. You're being promoted to the newly formed engineering department. This department will handle all repairs that were formerly assigned to one of your teams at random. The rest of you will continue to report the need for repairs as you have always done."

J'rad read the numbers, and those five left quietly.

"We have changed the entire routing system and team structure. We're going to have ten teams of five each. The following people will be team leaders. Please report to J'ot for your maps and assigned routes."

J'rad read the team leader numbers, then proceeded to organize the others by team. It took almost an hour before all of them were organized and away. Kirk asked J'ot and J'rad for feedback.

J'ot spoke up first. "J'rad picked good team leaders. I didn't have to explain the new routes more than twice to anybody."

"Is an hour typical as to how long to get organized, or is it usually only a few minutes?" Kirk wanted to know.

"The past few weeks it's taken at least this long," J'rad informed him. "I thought this went pretty smoothly. It sure helped to get the worst trouble-makers out of here."

"Okay. What can I do now? How can I help?"

"J'ot and I only just barely finished the first shift in time. We have several hours more work to do before second shift. Also, I didn't get to making a chart for the contest."

So Kirk made the chart and recorded each team's results as they came in. J'ot and J'rad retired to the conference room. Several hours later, team leader 7 came in looking flustered.

"Sir, I have a problem. My route includes the Gomad compound. When we arrived, my team was taken hostage. Their leader informed me that my team would be released only when I returned with my superior's superior. It seems they are very upset by the lack of repairs to the plumbing system. I was most startled, because up to now, no one of their race has been able to speak our language."

"Did this leader look at all like me?"

"Well, not especially: much darker skin, longer top hair, different shape," and he gestured the classic female body shape.

Kirk laughed. He could just imagine Uhura's righteous indignation when faced with such incompetence.

"Okay. I can take care of this. Go tell 40712 I need him to take over here for me. He's in the conference room."

Within a few minutes, Kirk and the team leader were jogging to Uhura's compound. When they arrived, Uhura was pacing impatiently back and forth in front of team 7. Perhaps a dozen of Uhura's people were also in attendance. Kirk held back as his team leader approached Uhura.

"There you are. It's about time. Well, did you bring him? I told you not to come back without your top man. I'm tired of getting the run-around, and I want results!"

"Yes, sir. I did, sir."

Kirk stepped forward. "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?" he asked mildly.

Uhura turned and stared at him. "Captain?" she whispered.

"At your service, ma'am. What sort of results were you looking for?"

She launched into a long-winded description of their plumbing problems, gesticulating graphically throughout. She recognized immediately that no one besides Kirk would understand a word she said, because the translator recognized that they were both speaking Standard. Thinking fast, she inserted a concise report interspersed among the plumbing complaints.

She was Leader and Speaker of her unit. She was in contact with four other units, and continuing to work at establishing contact with the others. She'd seen Scotty and Chekov at a distance, had talked to Dr. McCoy, and had not seen Sulu or Spock. When she wound down to a halt, Kirk made placating gestures.

"We're starting to get a handle on repairs. I'll see what I can do to put yours at the top of the list. Everybody's on line except Bones. Tell him he's got less than a week. Thanks for the update. See ya."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Kirk had told the elite group to report to the assembly hall for second shift. They were waiting for him. He surveyed them for a moment. 47318 was there; so was J'mik. The diver whose life he'd saved was another. Most of these 24 men were strangers.

"You were all hand-picked for this elite group. There were a number of criteria: diligence, an understanding of teamwork, an ability to motivate others, an ability to think for yourself. Every one of you has excellent leadership qualities. In the next few days, we're going to find out about your levels of courage, endurance, and trust. You cannot flunk out of here due to inadequacies in these areas, but I need to know where your limits are. You need to know too.

"The purpose of this group is to contact the other units, share with them the changes we have made, and assist them in making the same changes in their units. It is my intention to become Speaker for all units. I will need men in each unit that I know and can trust. Men who know me and how I do things.

"If any of you either can't or don't want to participate in this task, say so now, and I'll reassign you, with no hard feelings. I don't want anybody in this that doesn't want to be here."

Nobody spoke.

"If you change your mind at any time, come and talk to me. Now a little bit about how I'm going to organize this - you'll be divided into three groups of eight. I'll take each group to a different unit, one per shift, for three days in a row. Then once we've established contact, each group of eight will be responsible for the three units they've been to. Probably two in each unit, and two overseeing all three. I'll have the groups worked out by tomorrow, and I hope to be ready to implement two days later.

"Most of our activities and training will be designed to help me get to know you. Everything I ask you to do will be something I have already done, or am doing with you, or both. Use this training to get to know each other as well.

"Any questions before we get started?"

"Will we only be working one shift?"

"For the next three days, you'll be working second shift, for training. After we begin implementing, you'll be working all of one shift, most of another, and part of a third, for at least three days. Hopefully by next week, you can back off that schedule somewhat, because you'll have trained others to help. Good question. Any others?"

"With all due respect sir, I don't see how you can be Speaker for all ten units. There aren't enough hours in the day, even if you could take it."

"I could talk to Watchers all day and all night for weeks on end, including all the fun and games of last week. But what you're really getting at is the transportation question. I plan to ask the Watchers to transport us, so distance is not a problem."

There were no other questions, as they assimilated his solution to the transportation problem.

"The first thing I ask of you requires courage and trust. You have been trained to believe that if you take off your ID, you die." He took off his ID and held it in his hand. "I want this group to function comfortably with or without the ID." He walked across the platform and placed his ID on a table by the side door. Returning to center stage, he continued. "Take off your ID and place it on the table. When you come in tomorrow, place your ID on the table as you enter."

47318 and J'mik were first. Another man Kirk didn't know was close behind. The others needed further persuasion.

"The Watcher sees everything I do. He records all that happens in this room. If he disapproved, I would already be out of here. I'm not suggesting you abandon the ID's altogether. But for these training sessions, you are exempt from the ID."

Others got up and placed their ID's on the table. He did not wait for them all before he went on.

"The second thing I ask of you is your name. My name is Jim. All those in this group will go by name, not number."

He took up a pad and wrote everyone's name. 47318's name was J'oso. The diver whose life he'd saved was J'dan. The third man to the ID table was J'rip. Then he had them play a rhythm game designed to learn everyone's name. At the end of half an hour, he had them write each name in order around the circle. He collected the tests for later perusal.

For the next half hour they played a relay race game using a couple of blindfolds. Kirk studied how each one moved, and how they led one another. Some took it slow and careful; others attacked it with reckless abandon. Some led forcefully; others guided from behind.

The next exercise used two blindfolds and the discipline wand. He divided them into groups of three, told them what they would have to do, and let them decide which of them would do what. The team closest to a perfect performance would win.

The winning team was J'rip, J'dan, and J'est. J'dan held himself absolutely motionless. J'rip's direction was so precise that J'est made no wrong moves. Blindfolded, he approached J'dan from behind, walked around him, and placed the wand on J'dan's cheek without error. Though not required, he held the tip of the wand in his own hand until he had placed J'dan's cheek accurately.

Kirk reorganized the teams and did it again. This time J'oso, J'bin, and J'ap won. A third time, the winners were J'rip, J'mik, and J'ed. Then Kirk took the eight winners, teamed them up in pairs, and made them do the exercise again with two wands instead of one. Each team did the exercise twice, once as guide, once as blind wand wielder. Kirk himself was the recipient for all the teams. J'rip and J'oso were first. They moved like a well-oiled machine, and equally well when they traded places. J'mik and J'est were almost as good, though quite a bit slower.

J'ap and J'ed gave it a good try, but made several mistakes, including landing the wands in Kirk's eyes instead of his cheeks. The audience gasped, but Kirk didn't move or speak, calmly waiting for them to fix it. They were rather upset over their blunder, so Kirk took the time to reassure them that he was fine.

J'dan and J'bin were clearly reluctant to do it at all. Upon quizzing them, Kirk discovered their apprehension had to do with an unwillingness to hurt him. They had both been recipients, and knew what it felt like.

"Would you rather do it to each other than to me? We'd have to do it four times instead of two, but it's okay with me."

They agreed immediately, so Kirk guided each of them, while the other stood stock still. Then he gave them a chance to change their minds, but they refused. So each of them guided Kirk to the other's face. Kirk found it much harder to be the wand wielder. But they were both good guides, and it was quickly done.

The next exercise was learning to fall backwards. Kirk paired them up randomly, and scattered the pairs all over the room. Illustrating a straight-backed fall, he used J'ed to show them how to catch. He gave them several minutes to practice with each other. Then he had them practice falling on command, then with variations in the catching. The one doing the falling would not know if he would be caught almost immediately, half way down, almost to the floor, or let crash with no help at all.

Kirk then worked with the four pairs on the stage to turn it into a timed drill. Four counts to fall, then four counts to stand and change partners. When they could do a slow but steady eight count, he took a different four pairs and drilled them. The last four pairs had the routine down quickly, since they'd watched him drill the others.

Kirk had about two hours left. He sat them down in a big circle and handed out pads to all. He told them to write the names of the three they thought best suited to lead a team. Next they wrote three assistant leaders. After that, he had them place everyone on a team. Within each team, who should be paired with whom, and which of them would lead. Lastly, he asked them to circle their own name on the chart. He collected the pads for later study.

With the last hour, he asked them to brainstorm ideas for teaching the other units what they had done. He got them started with a few questions, then just listened to them talk. Just before dismissing them, he chose at random which would observe the Watcher for each of the next three nights.

After a meal and a shower, Kirk spent two hours working with J'orn. The first thirty minutes, they worked with the wands, and Kirk insisted on absolute relaxation. It took J'orn about ten minutes to get to the place he'd been the day before. Kirk stopped, then started over. After a while J'orn could maintain relaxation through starting, stopping, and starting again. Then for about ten minutes, Kirk teased J'orn unmercifully. J'orn lay relaxed, breathing deeply, and ignored Kirk. Finally he stopped.

"That's good. That's very good. Even better than yesterday. When you get to the point of laughter, you'll have graduated."

"Laughter?"

"Yes. Right now, this is still hard work for you, very serious. When it becomes easy, when it becomes funny, then you will laugh. The pain carries no emotional content, but the teasing is fun, and I laugh."

Kirk had them watch both his video and 41624's, and compare them. To begin with, J'orn didn't see it. They both looked awful to him. So Kirk took him through a detailed analysis of each one. 41624 had faced it without fear, but there was no joy either. He had expected it to kill him, and it had. Each day, he was weaker, until he could not even stand up.

Kirk, on the other hand, had made it fun right from the start. The Watcher's attack had produced no fear in him. His antics of the first day had been largely to show the camera his fearlessness. After that, the Watcher had given him no opportunity to initiate action. Nonetheless, his reaction had been laughter. He had enjoyed being tossed, bounced, and thrown. He'd even enjoyed being buried.

Kirk shared with J'orn the source of his fearlessness, and J'orn became a Christian. Thereafter the principal question became how to build up J'orn's endurance so that encounters with the Watcher would not sap his strength. Kirk promised to give him a full two hours of the wands at full strength the next day.

After his session with J'orn, it had been Kirk's intention to spend several hours sorting out the teams for the elite group. But the Lord told him to sleep instead. He felt as if there weren't enough hours in the day to do all that needed doing. He was having trouble keeping in focus everything that required his attention: his work with J'orn, training the elite teams, the mobile units, J'kam and the plant floor, his promise to coach one a day, and last but not least, J'oso and the rebels. But God said sleep, so he did.

Four hours sleep felt like eight, and he woke refreshed. 2731 reported no change. Bones still wasn't on line. J'rad and J'ot said the mobile teams were working much better; higher output and much improved attitudes. They didn't really need him, so Kirk stopped in to see J'kam. The plant floor was well under control. Kirk was free to work on the elite team structure.

Three hours later, it was done. He spent an hour with the head cook, who was the first of the private coaching recipients. Then two hours with J'orn, and finally an hour meeting with J'oso. God had arranged his time to cover all his responsibilities, and it had seemed effortless. Whereas if he'd come into the day already exhausted, there would likely have been an absence of grace.

Second shift was again devoted to training the elite teams. Kirk began by announcing the team structure. His three team leaders were J'oso, J'rip, and J'est. Their assistants would be J'ap, J'mik, and J'dan. He lined the team members up with their partners around the outside walls of the room. Calling the team leaders to the platform, he gave them blindfolds.

"This exercise will simulate how the team structure will work. Assistant team leaders, you may watch but do not say anything."

Kirk proceeded to mix up the locations of each set of team members, so that the team leaders would not know where their teams were. When he was finished, he had all team members, except assistant leaders, put on blindfolds as well. Then he returned to the platform.

"Listen carefully. I'm going to give instructions to each team leader for each pair on his team, but I will give them one at a time. So when you've completed the instructions for the first pair, you have to come back to the platform for the next set of instructions. Assistant leaders will guide leaders to their team members, and assist them in carrying out the instructions. The guiding however, must be entirely verbal. Physical contact is not allowed. Assistants, please wait at the edge of the platform. Your leader must navigate the platform without you. Any questions?"

He gave the first set of instructions, and the game began. Kirk watched carefully to see if his team choices had been good ones. J'rip and J'mik were the fastest and most efficient team. J'oso and J'ap worked together well, but not as fast. J'dan was finding this exercise a bit of a stretch, but J'est was patient, and they got it done without major blunders.

No one tried to short circuit the game by skipping the return to the platform, even after it was pretty obvious what the last set of instructions would be. Only J'rip returned for more instructions without the aid of his guide. He seemed as efficient without his sight as with it. Kirk was impressed.

The instructions had called for the assistants to place the pairs in specific seats in the auditorium. So when the game was over, everyone was properly seated in the center section near the platform.

"Thank you, gentlemen. That was well done. Any questions?" Silence. "All right, for the next six hours, each team will be doing something different. Every two hours, teams will switch activities. Two of the teams will work in here: one on the platform, and one in the aisles. The team on the platform will be working with the wands. Your goal is to increase everyone's endurance level. How you do that will be up to your team leader. The team in the aisles will be working to increase the trust level among team members. Again, how you do that is up to the team leader. You can use blindfolds, practice falling, or just sit in a circle and talk. It's up to you.

"The third team will be going with me to another location. When that team returns, they will take the platform, those on the platform will move to the aisles, and those in the aisles will come to the other location. Two hours later, we rotate again. After that we'll have about an hour all back together again. Any questions?"

"Where's this other location?"

"Do we bring our ID's?"

"You leave the ID's here. Team leaders, see to it that no one brings an ID. You will leave this room one at a time. Exit through the side door here, go down the hall to your left. Fourth door down is a stairwell. When the man in front of you disappears through that door, the next man can leave this room. Walk at a steady pace, and don't look nervous.

"At the bottom of the stairs, turn right. Go down to the double doors at the end of the hall. Enter and close the door behind you. Last one through, make sure all the doors are closed. On the inside of those double doors, you'll find a large room with lots of equipment in it. Walk down to the far end. You'll find a hole in the floor. Descend the ladder and wait. We'll gather there. Again, last one, close and lock the hatch. Any questions?"

"Are the Watchers going to permit this?"

"They heard everything I just said. What do you think?"

"That's part of the test, isn't it? You want to know if we'll do this, expecting any second to get snatched by a Watcher."

"You're not afraid of them, are you?" another asked.

"You want us to get over being afraid of them too. That's what last night was all about." This from one who had been an observer the night before.

Kirk smiled. "I hate fear because of what it does to you. The reign of terror is over, but training fear out of you takes time. Be patient with yourselves, but be willing to be stretched. It won't be comfortable, but the end result is worth it."

Kirk took J'est's team first, assigning J'oso the platform and J'rip the aisles. Kirk led the way, with J'dan following. Kirk heard his measured step, but did not turn to look. He waited for them at the bottom of the ladder. There was a little light from the open hatch above. He lined them up in pairs, putting J'dan at the back, to be joined by J'est who was last. They all heard him descend the ladder, but no one could see anything.

"As you can see, the need for blindfolds down here is superfluous. J'est, on the floor behind the ladder, you'll find a rope. Have J'dan tie one end around your wrist. Then pass the other end up to me. Each of you grab hold of the rope. If you don't let go, you won't get lost. Okay?"

"Can your race see in the dark?"

"No. Can you trust me, even knowing that I am as blind as you?"

"You're going to walk down the hall blind?"

"Part of the time, we'll be running." Uneasy silence. "I can see we need to practice this. The first section of corridor is straight. If you listen carefully and hold the rope lightly, you will know when to speed up, slow down, or stop. Let's try it."

By the time they reached the first turn, they could start and stop without tripping over each other. Kirk guided them through the turn slowly and carefully. Then he stepped up the pace to a brisk walk. After the second turn, he forced them into a slow jog. After the next turn, he stopped to talk.

"Okay. Everybody sit down. You're doing all right. We haven't lost anybody. Nobody's screaming. You're going to survive this. Take a deep breath and relax. I'm not going to abandon you to find your own way back. If we have an accident of some kind and you get separated from us, do not panic. Sit down wherever you are and wait for me to come and find you. Do not, I repeat, do not wander around down here by yourself. If you stay put, I will eventually find you, no matter where you are. If you keep moving, I could continue to miss you. Is that clear to everybody?"

Various affirmatives.

"Now I want to raise the standard. So far, you're surviving. I want to make this fun. Get to the point where it flows. We move together as one unit without effort. To do that, you have to get over your fear of this. One or more of you are clutching the rope for dear life. I can feel it. If even one of you does that, we can't get to the point of flowing with it.

"So don't let yourself clutch the rope. Make the decision to act fearless, regardless of what you feel. Choose to trust me. Concentrate on sensing what those around you are doing. Lastly, tell yourself that this is fun. Choose to think of it as fun, not as a nightmare."

He worked them another hour, during which time there was a vast improvement. But they never did get to the point of being really free with it. With a half hour left, Kirk sat them down again. After ten minutes of debriefing, he changed the subject entirely.

"There is another purpose for this elite group you are part of. Down here the Watchers can neither see nor hear us. The real reason I made you take off your ID's is because they contain microphones." He paused and the silence felt ominous.

He went on. "I am planning a mutiny. Once we have control of all the units, I will issue the Watchers an ultimatum. Coinciding with that ultimatum, all work in all units will cease. They will negotiate with our demands, or there will be no work done. They cannot afford to annihilate the entire work force. They will talk.

"Your job in this rebellion is to coordinate communications between me and your assigned units, to make sure they participate in the cease-work order, and to teach them how to act like free workers instead of slaves.

"We can accomplish this in an orderly manner without bloodshed. But you must be able to prevent any mob action. If we let this get out of hand, many lives will be lost.

"One other thing - do not think that I am trying to set myself up as dictator. I will help you gain your freedom, and help you know what to do with it, and then I'm going to retire. I have no desire to rule your race. My self-worth is not dependent on a need for power, fame, or wealth. Rather I am motivated by a hatred of slavery, fear, oppression, and the shedding of innocent blood.

"I've given you a lot to think about. We're out of time. We'll talk again tomorrow."

Kirk led them back to the ladder, and sent them up one by one. J'est was last.

"J'est, you and J'dan will have to learn to negotiate these subterranean passages alone. Does that frighten you?"

"No, sir. And I think J'dan is okay with it too."

"Good. J'oso will teach you."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Kirk worked with J'rip's and J'oso's teams also. He gave each team the same speech about the rebellion. Then he gathered them all in the assembly hall.

"One of my biggest concerns is establishing contact with the Watchers of other units. When we show up in another unit, their Watcher will very likely be alarmed. I am not concerned for myself. I've had plenty of experience with angry Watchers. My concern is for you. I don't expect you to have to face the full brunt of an attack, but you must be able to weather the storm. We'll be spending quite a bit of tomorrow's session on this issue, but I want to give you a taste of it today.

"Everybody, put your ID's back on. I don't know if it's necessary for transport, but it might be. Now line up by teams and pairs within teams.

"Watcher, are you listening? If you're not too busy right now, we'd like to come visit you. Your room would be pretty crowded with all 25 of us in it at once, so here's what I propose. Take me first, then the rest in pairs for just a few minutes each. You told me last night that the other Watchers would be pretty hostile. So show me what they would do."

For the next 45 minutes, 2731 ferociously attacked Kirk, while bringing in the others to observe. Each pair was securely pinned with an arm around the waist, then raked across the chest. After that, the end of the tentacle was held in front of them in a threatening gesture, while they watched what was happening to Kirk.

Back in the assembly hall, they had a few minutes to debrief. Kirk was pleased at the overall response: not carefree and joyous, but not panic-stricken horror either. A cautious confidence, the beginnings of a realization that maybe they could do this.

"All right. Thank you, gentlemen. Same time tomorrow. Team leaders and assistants, please stay. The rest of you are dismissed.

"The six of you will be working a good part of third shift both today and tomorrow. So go get yourself a meal, and meet me in the conference room in half an hour. Oh, and leave your ID's here."

Thirty minutes later, they crowded into the conference room. There were only six chairs, so Kirk stood.

"What we need to decide now is who gets which unit, and in what order are we going to tackle them. J'oso, you have the map. What have we got?"

They poured over the map for about an hour, discussing strategy. Then Kirk sent them to the subterranean passages. With J'oso in charge, they were to learn the underground route to the first three units.

Kirk left them and sought out J'orn. He was sleeping. Kirk woke him.

"Change in plans. After tomorrow, I'm not going to have time to teach you anymore, so you get another lesson now, and two tomorrow. After that, you're on your own. Still want to do this?"

"Yes, absolutely."

They went to the Speaker's room. Kirk had J'orn stand in the Speaker's square, but told the Watcher to bring them both. Once there, Kirk discovered it was not 2731, but his partner.

"This is 2891, not the same Watcher as when you were here last. Also you only had to observe. This time he will touch you. Are you afraid?"

"Yes."

"Understandable. But you must erase the effects of years of fear and intimidation, or you cannot do this. Ask Jesus for help. Draw on the peace, the grace, the strength."

J'orn took a deep breath.

"Now I want you to pick up one of his arms and wrap it around your waist, like this." Kirk illustrated.

J'orn complied, slowly and reluctantly. In the next few minutes, Kirk wrapped J'orn in 2891's arms, creating a loose harness for J'orn to relax in. During this time, 2891 made no aggressive moves, nor did Kirk plug in to talk to him.

"Relax, J'orn. He can support your weight in this level of gravity. Let him; relax completely. Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths. Relax everything. That's right. Just float. Feel how warm he is. Think about home: the mountains, that clear, cold stream, the meadow full of flowers.

"Good, very good. Now keep your body completely relaxed while you think about that videotape of my fun and games in here last week." J'orn immediately tensed up. "Relax. Go back to the image of home."

But J'orn opened his eyes and looked at Kirk. "Why isn't he doing anything? He just let you wrap me up. He's not attacking or anything. Why not?"

"He heard all our conversations. He knows what we're trying to do. He obviously doesn't object."

"But why not? Watchers are never passive like this."

"Would you feel better if he attacked me?"

"Well, no, but- this is so unnatural."

"I will eventually tell you why, but for right now, I'm asking you to just trust me. This Watcher will do what I tell him to, as long as you're in here for training. Watch this."

Kirk raised his arms over his head, with index fingers extended, and then placed his fingers on his own head. After a moment, two tentacles descended.

*Is this what you want?*

*Yes, thank you.*

J'orn's eyes widened. "You told him to attack you?"

"Yes, but this isn't an attack. This is the minimum connection necessary for two-way conversation. He can now hear what I'm saying to you. So when I tell you he's going to squeeze you, he hears me say it and does what I want."

J'orn jerked and went rigid as he felt the constriction.

"Relax. It doesn't hurt. It's like a massage. The ripple effect washes over you and helps you relax. Good. Much better. Stay immersed in the peace of Jesus. As the squeezing stops, you are completely relaxed. Doesn't matter when or if the squeezing starts again. You are unaffected by its presence or absence."

*Start and stop several times in the next few minutes.*

"Now, think again about the tape of last week. Stay relaxed. Good. I want you to think about each scene of that tape. Imagine that it is you, not me. Describe it to me in the first person. And stay relaxed."

So J'orn did, in some detail. Kirk was pleased at how much J'orn remembered. But even more pleased that he could stay relaxed throughout this recital, and in spite of the squeezing interspersed throughout.

"J'orn, you are an exceptional student. I'm impressed. Tell me what about all that you fear the least, and what you fear the most."

"The least is easy: getting wrapped up in his arms. You've proved there's nothing to that. I suppose you're going to tell me that getting buried alive doesn't hurt either."

"No, it doesn't. Feels like a soft warm blanket. I was surprised he didn't even feel heavy."

"I don't know whether I fear the tentacles more, or the getting thrown around. Are you going to tell me getting thrown to the floor doesn't hurt?"

"I was winded some of the time, but he had to work at it to get that much force. In this gravity, just getting dropped doesn't do that much damage. Is there anything else about getting thrown around that bothers you?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. We're going to find out right now. You're about to fall to the floor. It's only about two feet. Stay completely relaxed, and just let yourself go, as he unwraps his arms. Good. Now keep your eyes closed. He's going to grab your arm, and toss you into the air. Then he'll toss you back and forth a few times, then let you fall to the floor. I want you to stay completely relaxed. Don't fight it; don't try to control it; just enjoy the ride. Don't even try to control the landing. Let him do it all."

*He weighs more than you do.*

*So don't toss him as high.*

*All right. Here goes.*

Within a few minutes J'orn was back on the floor.

"Well, how was it?"

"Breath-taking; overwhelming. But I see now why we thought you were unconscious. You were completely relaxed."

"Yes. Do you fear it?"

"Not as much, maybe."

"Good. We're going to do it again. This time, keep your eyes open. Let yourself get dizzy and disoriented; it's part of the fun."

They did it three or four more times, until J'orn was basically comfortable with it.

"Do you know how to do gymnastics?"

"What's that?"

"Watch." *Toss me as high as you can. And you better disconnect, 'cause I'll be doing somersaults on the way down.*

*I can stay with you.*

*Suit yourself then.*

Kirk did two complete somersaults and landed on his feet.

"Did he roll you into a ball?"

"No, I did. He was just along for the ride. But I think there's room for a third roll; maybe two and a half. I'll land on my back this time." *And disconnect this time. I don't want him to think you're doing this.*

So Kirk did it again. Then he began to teach J'orn how to do it. Within half an hour, J'orn was doing somersaults too.

"Talk to me. Do you still fear getting tossed around?"

"No. I'm beginning to see why you think this is fun."

"That's great! Now we tackle the biggie. Lie down. Close your eyes. Relax. Remember that first day with the wands? You told yourself over and over again that you wanted me to do what I was doing. I don't have the wands today, but the Watcher will do only what I tell him to. So, are you sure you want me to do this to you?"

"How can you be sure what he will do?"

"Right now, that's irrelevant. Do you want him to do what I'm going to tell him to do to you?"

J'orn took a deep breath. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want anybody else to die."

"As long as I'm Speaker, no one will die."

"What if something happens to you?"

"It won't, but if it does, talk to 47318. He'll know what I want him to tell you."

"47318? Your supervisor from third shift? The chief persecutor?"

"That's the one. He's a good man. Anyway, I will do what you want, because you are right. It would be safer if I wasn't the only one who could be Speaker.

"Now we're going to start with just one tentacle across the chest." J'orn gasped. "What did that feel like?"

"You're right, it's different from the wands. I can't tell you how, but it's- more intense, I think."

"Do you want more?"

"Yes."

They worked hard for another half hour. By that time, J'orn could lie relaxed while 2891 planted up to eight tentacles on him, and left them there for several minutes. But none were on his head.

"Time's up. If you make as fast progress tomorrow, I think you'll be there in another two sessions."

xxxx

Kirk's session with J'orn the next morning included a combination of tossing around and tentacle attacks. He was so encouraged by J'orn's progress that he made the elite group try some of the same things. Results were mixed. J'oso could stand still for an eight-tentacle attack; several others managed four. J'est and J'mik thought the tossing was fun. J'rip tolerated all of it with equal ease, but if he thought any of it enjoyable, it certainly didn't show.

The last session with J'orn was critical. Tentacles on the head was twice as hard to take as on the chest. And the phenomenon of mental contact was a big question mark. Kirk found it easy, but that didn't mean J'orn would. They began with just one tentacle.

"How is that?"

"Feels more like three or four than just one."

"Okay. Relax. We're going to get used to this for a while. I want to know if the cumulative effect gets worse. Can you hear his voice in your head?"

"No."

"2731, say something to J'orn."

*You are the first of your race to want to learn to talk with us.*

"Only because J'im proved it could be done."

"He cannot hear what you say, until we plug in a second connection."

"Do it."

"Not yet. Have you noticed any increase in your perception of the pain? Does it still feel like three or four?"

"No. More like one or two."

"Any decrease in your ability to deal with it?"

"Not as far as I can tell. J'im, I want to talk to him. Tell him to plug in a second tentacle. Please."

"All right, but I can't guarantee you won't pass out."

"I don't care."

*2731, he wants to talk to you. Give him a closed channel. Let's not confuse him with three minds at once.*

Kirk did not hear any of the ensuing conversation.

*You wish to talk to me?*

*I have always thought of you as a monster. Why aren't you acting like one today?*

*A monster, eh? You are supposed to fear me. He refuses to fear. I tried hard, but he would not. But you are not fearless. I could make you fear me.*

*Then why don't you?*

No response.

*It's because of J'im, isn't it? How can he make you do what he wants? What hold does he have over you? Who is he?*

*He is a slave, just as you are. He cannot make me do anything.*

*Then why do you choose to behave so differently than you have for years?*

*His fearlessness and endurance are formidable. I wished to know whether he could transfer those traits to you. If so, he is dangerous indeed. But I do not think you can endure what he can, nor would you be fearless if he were not here to protect you.*

*You are right that my endurance is limited compared to his, but in what sense is he protecting me? I thought you said he was not dictating your actions.*

*He isn't. But in your perception, he protects you.*

*Then send him away. Find out if I fear you.*

*Are you challenging me to do to you what I did to him?*

*Not exactly. We both know I don't have his endurance. But enough of it to establish whether or not I fear you, yes.*

*Why?*

*Because a fearlessness that evaporates in his absence is no good to me at all.*

*I will consider this. Wait.*

2731 switched channels.

*Captain, he has asked me to kick you out of here. He wants to know if his fearlessness is dependent on you. I'm afraid I implied that it was. He is asking difficult questions. I don't know how long I can keep your identity from him.*

*If you have to choose between telling him and making a permanent enemy, then go ahead and tell him. I trust your judgment.*

*I don't know why you should, but thank you.*

As 2731 disconnected, Kirk looked at J'orn, who was studying his face.

"He told you what I asked for."

"Yes, he did. You'll be fine. You don't need me anymore. Go ahead and do your test, but however it turns out, don't give up talking."

xxxx

Two hours later, J'orn found Kirk sleeping. He would have left without waking him, but Kirk heard him and sat up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's okay. How are you, J'orn?"

"Can we talk? I would have waited, but you will be very busy tomorrow."

"Sure. How about the conference room. We should be undisturbed there."

Silence en route. Once in the conference room, J'orn dropped heavily into a chair. Kirk shut the door, took a seat across from J'orn and waited, smiling encouragement.

"I hardly know where to start. You have turned my world upside down. Two and a half weeks ago, I gave you my allegiance, and I cannot take it back. But I am very confused."

"Can you formulate a question?"

"He told me who you are."

Kirk nodded. "I thought he probably would."

"You don't seem bothered by that."

"I would have told you myself within a few days anyway. You will be a key player in what is to come. So tell me what you don't understand."

J'orn let out a long breath. "Everything."

Kirk ignored the exaggeration. "Tell me what happened after I left."

"He attacked me. It was worse than anything he had done while you were there, and it went on for a long, long time. He kept those two tentacles on my head the whole time, though how he managed it while throwing me around, I don't know. Anyway, he must have known what I was thinking."

"Not with just two connections. They have to have four to get your unspoken thoughts," Kirk explained.

"Well, it seemed like he knew. He was trying his best to get me to fear him. Lots of violent aggression, though I never passed out, just got very close several times. He delighted in the unexpected. Every time he startled me, I'd hear this harsh, ugly laughter in my head.

"I didn't say a word the whole time. I won't say I was completely relaxed; I'm sure I wasn't. But nothing about it frightened me. I didn't have to work at it; I simply wasn't afraid of it. For that I thank you. When he finally quit, all he said was that you were a very good teacher. And you are. But he knew I wasn't afraid. He didn't have to ask."

"They sense emotions by touch."

"He had said before that if you could make me fearless, you were dangerous. So I wanted to know what he was going to do about you. His answer was pretty non-committal. So I asked him again who you were and why he was afraid of you."

"He's not afraid of me," Kirk declared.

"I didn't really think he was. But he was hiding something. Anyway, it took lots more threats and persuasion, but he finally told me. But I don't understand it."

"What did he say?"

"To begin with, it was a kaleidoscope of living history. It went by too fast for me to grasp much of it. I did get the fact that they consider you a very important person."

Kirk quickly dismissed that idea. "The details are unimportant. But if you're curious, you can ask him to play the tape more slowly, even explain things."

"So you're a very important person, and they've made you a slave. That doesn't make sense."

"Did he tell you why?"

"Yes. To put down a revolt. Which also doesn't make sense. There's no revolt happening."

"There's about to be, and I'm leading it. And you're going to tell me that doesn't make sense either." Kirk smiled.

J'orn just stared, stupified.

"The Watchers have been aware of unrest among the slaves for some time. In addition, they have become Christians and now recognize that slavery is wrong. But their entire civilization is dependent on the slave system. They want to end it, but they don't know how. So they called me in to fix their problem.

"I became a slave with the express purpose of becoming your Speaker. When I am Speaker for all units, I will be in a position to lead a successful mutiny. But it will be accomplished without bloodshed. The primary purpose of the elite group I am training will be to keep order during the transition. I want no part of any mob action."

Kirk paused to see if J'orn was following his rapid explanation, but the man just sat and stared at him. He decided to focus on what personally affected J'orn.

"Your role in this is crucial. When we sit down at the negotiating table, you will listen to everything that is said. Then you will verify to your people that I am not playing both sides against the middle - telling you one thing, while telling the Watchers the exact opposite.

"To that end, I want you to practice talking to the Watchers as often as you can over the next three days. J'oso is the only other one in this unit that knows what I've just told you. The elite group know about the mutiny, but they don't know the Watchers brought me here to do this. Now, what questions do you have?"

J'orn found his voice. "You're telling me the Watchers are Christians?! But they've killed thousands!"

"Becoming a Christian does not make anybody instantly perfect. But it does open the door for God to begin to make changes. This change will be very difficult for them. But no less so for you. Among other things, you must forgive them."

"Forgive the killing?!" J'orn couldn't consider the idea.

"41624 died because you would not let me be Speaker," Kirk quietly reminded him.

"You're saying I'm as guilty as they are." This concept seemed easier to grasp.

"Sin is sin, whether it's one or many, big or little. We've all done things we shouldn't have, even me."

"You?! Like what?" J'orn's disbelief was apparent.

"Remember that first rest day? J'rad had me up for discipline? I purposely made him angry, so he would do what I wanted. The very next day, the Lord brought me face to face with the emotional damage I had done to him. It was not right for me to have abused him. If he had been unable to forgive me, we could not be friends."

"Friends. J'rad is your friend?"

"Yes. So are J'oso and J'mik, both of whom were in the dissenters group."

"How did that happen?" J'orn wanted to know.

"The day I let them out of jail, I made a deal with them. In exchange for their cooperation, I gave them three two-hour shows. J'mik and J'oso were two of the wand wielders. I talked with each of them afterwards."

"I suppose you're going to tell me the Watcher is your friend too."

"My conversations with 2731 and 2891 have been almost all business. They're mostly just following orders."

"Whose orders?"

"Mine."

"Yours?" More disbelief. "You told them to do all the things they've done to you? Or was it all faked? They couldn't have faked the 14 shifts you worked."

"None of it was faked, except when he buried me, he brought me an air supply. It wasn't strictly necessary; he could have just let me pass out. He was a little nervous about how long I could do without air."

"You planned the whole thing?!" Disbelief was becoming outrage.

"Oh, no. I had no idea what all he was going to do. I just told him to make it worse than anything that had ever been done to a slave before."

"Make it worse. That's what you told J'rad to do that first time. That's why you wanted me to set your punishment impossibly high. You wanted to prove you could take anything."

"Yes, but not so you would think I was a superhero, but so you would understand that you don't have to fear it anymore."

J'orn shook his head at Kirk. "How could you know you could do it?"

"I didn't know for sure; I was just fairly certain, based on the data I had. But my response to it would have been no different had I been certain I could not take it. I am not afraid of pain at any level, and I have lots of experience. I know whereof I speak."

J'orn sat up straighter. "Okay, let me see if I've got this clear. The Watchers brought you here to put an end to slavery. You're trying to convince us all that you're a slave, even though you're not. You're going to stage a mutiny, and we're supposed to be sufficiently convinced of its reality that we'll agree to whatever you pretend to negotiate for us."

"No, it is not a pretense," Kirk stated adamantly. "The mutiny will be very real. You do not have to believe me. You don't even have to trust me. Just be ready to listen when the time comes. Will you do that?"

"But if you're on their side, what good will it do?" J'orn protested.

"I'm not on their side, and they know that. I hate fear, oppression, slavery, and killing. Over fifty of your people have died since I got here. It's got to stop."

"All right. I will listen. But I will not be a part of deceiving my people. So do not make promises that you will not or cannot keep. If you are lying to me, I will denounce you to all my people, even if you kill me."

"I am not lying to you, nor am I asking you to lie to your people. The only truth I am not telling them is that the Watchers brought me here to do what I am doing. So watch, and listen, and judge for yourself. And know this: I will not kill you, no matter what you say."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

J'est's team was assigned to first shift. They gathered in the assembly hall, and 2731 transported them to the walkway outside the building housing the unit they had chosen to be first. Kirk led the way inside. No one accosted them at the door, so they proceeded to the plant floor. The layout of the building matched their own.

One look told Kirk this unit was as inefficiently run as theirs had been. A supervisor noticed them, and advanced with a clearly belligerent attitude.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" he demanded.

Kirk kept his tone mild. "We come from another unit. I would like to speak with your Leader."

"The Watchers okayed this? I never heard of such a thing."

"We're here, aren't we? Where can we find your Leader?"

"At this time of day, he's in the Speaker's room."

"Thank you. I won't detain you any longer."

Kirk ushered his team out before the supervisor could protest further. At the Speaker's room, they were stopped by the guard.

"I wish to speak with your Leader. Is he within?"

"No, he's not here yet. But who are you? None of you have the right color ID's. What are you doing here?"

"We're from another unit. I'm here to speak with your Leader. We'll wait for him."

"Here he comes now."

"47521! What's going on here?"

"Sir. These men say they're from another unit, and they want to talk to you."

"It'll have to wait. It's almost Speaker time."

"Sir," Kirk interrupted, "it's about the Speaker that I wish to talk with you. As you can see, I am not of your race. We have discovered that being Speaker does not kill me. So I would like to be Speaker for your unit also, so that others do not have to die."

"You're crazy! All Speakers die." He turned around.

"I've been Speaker for ten days."

The man turned back, obviously startled. He looked at J'est.

"Is that true?"

"Yes, sir."

"And the Watchers let you come. All right. You can come in, but not all of you."

"Myself and one other." He gestured at J'est.

The Leader nodded and opened the door. His assistant was inside, trying to revive the Speaker.

"I'm afraid it's no use, sir. We'll have to get the Alternate." His eyes widened in surprise as he saw Kirk and J'est.

"This man will be the Alternate today, if the Watcher will take him."

They proceeded to the inner room. The light was already blinking. Kirk stepped into the square and was gone.

In the Watcher's room, he was immediately attacked by four tentacles. Taking several steps toward the Watcher, Kirk waited quietly. The attack was renewed. When this produced no more reaction than the first, he doubled the number of tentacles with which he raked Kirk's body. Still no response. So he did it again. Finally Kirk put his hands on his head in an obvious invitation to connect. Eight tentacles descended rapidly and planted themselves on Kirk's head.

*Who are you and what are you doing here?*

*You heard what I told your unit leader. You want my assigned number? 46529. My friends call me Jim.*

*Why are you doing this?*

*Because I don't want anybody else to die.*

*Speakers always die.*

*Not anymore, they don't.*

*Why did your Watcher let you come here?*

*You could ask him yourself, but I'll tell you anyway. We've made significant improvements in efficiency and effectiveness. He wants us to implement those changes in other units too.*

*Why wasn't I told?*

*Ask your boss. Meanwhile, have you got a report to download?*

*Yes.*

Kirk opened his mind to receive the report. To his surprise, it was visual as well as auditory. Much easier to retain than what 2891 had done.

*Okay. I got it. See you tomorrow.*

Back in the Speaker's room, Kirk recited the entire report without error, by simply accessing the visual image and reading it. What was even stranger was that the visual image was in Standard. He had no idea how the Watcher did that to his mind, but it didn't really matter. As Kirk finished the report, he opened his eyes and looked at the unit Leader.

"With your permission, sir, I will return each day to be your Speaker. The Watcher will not object." He gestured at the darkened screen.

"Well, I guess so. You've certainly proved you can do this. I never saw the like. But, I'm keeping the Alternate in case you don't show up."

"Fair enough. There is something else I and my colleagues wish to discuss with you. Our Watcher permitted us to come here, not so that I could be your Speaker, though he doesn't object. Rather, he wants us to teach your unit what we have learned about efficient and effective operations. Perhaps there is somewhere we could talk."

"Your Watcher wants you to teach us efficiency. What did our Watcher say about it? This is highly irregular."

"I know it's very unusual, but we've made some rather radical changes. The Watchers felt it would be easier for us to teach you, than for them to just tell you. So is there a conference room where we can talk? You've nothing to lose. If the Watchers don't like it, it'll come through in tomorrow's report."

"That's true enough. All right. This way please."

He led them to the assembly hall, saying the conference room was too small. Kirk suggested he call in any of his senior staff who were available. Shortly, they were joined by three others. Kirk stood and addressed the group.

"My name is Jim. I've been given the number 46529. You can address me either way, I don't care. I arrived on this planet three and a half weeks ago. The first week, I cleaned bathrooms; the second week, I worked the plant floor. Then I became Leader for our unit. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but if you want to see my credentials, you're welcome."

"Yes, I would," their Leader replied.

Kirk took off his ID, and tossed it to the Leader.

"It's long, so maybe you just want to watch the last few minutes."

The Leader inserted his ID into the reader.

"Eight hours!?"

He played the first five minutes, several five minute segments taken randomly from the middle, and the last ten minutes. Removing the ID, he returned it to Kirk wordlessly.

"So much for my credentials. My first action as Leader was to appoint myself as Speaker. My second action was to reorganize the work on the plant floor. The results after just one week were so phenomenal that the Watchers want these changes implemented in all units. I agreed provided they would let me be Speaker for all units. Any questions before I go on?"

"All units?! That's crazy! Nobody wants to be Speaker. All Speakers die." This from one of the associates.

"He's proved he can survive. I saw it this morning." This from the Leader. "But all units? There aren't enough hours."

"There are if I get the Watchers to transport me. For the next three days, I'll be establishing my position in each unit. After that, I'll just schedule each appointment two hours apart. That'll give me four hours a day to sleep, which is more than I've been getting. Any other questions?"

"What did you bring these others for?"

"I've organized three of these teams to help me teach. They will demonstrate, encourage, answer questions, whatever is needed. You will have all eight of them for the rest of today, even though I will have to leave at the end of first shift.

"Tomorrow I will need all eight in another unit for the first six hours. Then you will get two of them back for the rest of the day. Same schedule the day after. Beginning next week, you'll have the two of them all the time, for several weeks, as long as you need them. But that reminds me.

"Watcher," he addressed the air, "Set Speaker appointment for this unit for the sixth hour of first shift please.

"I'll have a couple of hours then to discuss any problems. I'm sure you'll have more questions, but let's get into the changes I propose for the plant floor."

Kirk talked for over an hour about his changes, telling not only what they should do, but why. Response was mixed. One associate was eager, and easily grasped the concepts. One gave him a glassy-eyed stare, and didn't seem to be connecting at all. The Leader and his second seemed defensive and guarded in their response. Putting off an attitude confrontation, Kirk suggested a demonstration.

They adjourned to the plant floor. Kirk's team took over one line and produced more in one hour than any two others combined. It would have been any three others, but word spread and the other workers actually began trying to produce. Such was the power of competition.

Kirk sent his team to shower up while he returned to the assembly hall. Confrontation time.

"I don't want to completely upset the leadership structure of this unit. I did it in my unit because it was the only way to banish the fear-driven repressive leadership style they were accustomed to. I can tell you are unhappy. Will you talk to me? What don't you like about this?"

"I think it sounds great. Can you reorganize my kitchen too?" This from the eager associate.

"I can show you how to clean a bathroom in thirty minutes. But I've done virtually nothing about any changes in the support staff. However, you can take the concepts and apply it to your department better than I could anyway. If you come up with something, share it with me, so I can pass it along to my unit too.

"What about the rest of you?"

The second spoke up. "I'm in charge of the mobile units."

Kirk shared the changes he'd made briefly. "It seems to be working well, but I've only had three days of history under the new system, so there may be problems that haven't surfaced yet. So it's up to you whether to implement any changes at this time."

"Up to me?"

"Yes. You and your Leader. I suppose your Watcher may have an opinion about it, but I doubt it."

"The Watchers have an opinion about everything."

"Well, in my unit, they seem to have adopted a wait-and-see attitude."

"Well, if it's all right with you, I'll wait and see too."

"Fine." Kirk turned to the other associate, the one with the glassy-eyed stare. "What about you? What do you think of all this? Are you in charge of the plant floor?"

He answered slowly. "Yes, I am. What do I think? I think you're crazy; you have no right to be here, and I'll run my plant the way I always have."

"What would I have to do to earn your cooperation?"

"What?! I can't run the plant without fear! No one would work! It's crazy!"

"I understand you don't believe me, but belief and cooperation aren't the same thing. I don't want to have to replace you, so how can I earn your cooperation?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm offering to make a deal with you. Name your price. What will it cost me to have your cooperation?"

The man thought for a moment. "If I can't put anybody on report, then you take their punishment instead."

"All right, provided you don't tell them anything about it. This is between you and me. So you keep track, but you don't tell them you're putting them on report, and you don't tell them I'm paying for their misbehavior."

"What about multiple offenses?"

"You set each punishment the way you always have; then you add it all up and give me the total. And you can renegotiate the deal after three days if you want to."

The man's disbelief was obvious.

"To prove my good faith in this, I will give you a down payment in advance. You can have ten minutes right now. J'est, fetch the wands."

His team had been trickling in for several minutes. There was an undercurrent of amusement, but Kirk ignored them. He took off his tunic and sandals.

"Sir, there is only one wand here." J'est handed it to Kirk and resumed his seat.

Kirk turned it on, set the level at 10, and handed it to the man in front of him, whose stare had taken on a new look.

"Ten minutes, continuous application, level 10." Kirk dropped to his knees, put his hands on his head, and closed his eyes.

Nothing happened. After a few moments, Kirk heard the man nervously shuffle his feet, but he would not approach Kirk. He opened his eyes.

"What's wrong? Is this not what you asked for?"

"Yes, I guess it is. I just didn't expect you to say 'yes'. Have you ever felt the wand before?"

"Yes, I have, but what difference does that make? Do you want to change the terms of the deal? It's all right with me; I'm willing to do whatever you want, assuming it's within my power to do, and doesn't violate my integrity."

"But take everybody's punishment? That'd take hours! Nobody can do that!"

"I can. And I will, if that's what it will take to have your cooperation."

"You're pretty sure of yourself."

"I know what I can do. And I want you to know that I can and will pay your price. So, can we get on with this little demonstration? Or do you want one of my team to wield the wand?"

"They would do that?"

"Yes, without hesitation. They already know what I can do."

"You," to J'est, "Come here!"

J'est came.

"Take this wand and do what he said."

So he did. Kirk was pleased with the result. Without any instruction, J'est provided a thorough demonstration of what Kirk could do. A nice touch which hadn't been done before, was what he did with the hands. Instead of leaving them on top of the head, he occasionally took Kirk's wrist and pulled the arm out to the side, turning the wrist so the hand fell open. Then he proceeded to do to Kirk's hand what Kirk had done to J'orn's hand the previous rest day. J'orn had said it was awful, and it was. But Kirk kept the hand relaxed, his breathing calm, and a slight smile on his face.

When the ten minutes were over, J'est put the wand away; Kirk got dressed.

"So, do I have your cooperation?"

"You do. I've never seen anybody with control like that. You make it look easy."

"I've had lots of practice. Thank you for agreeing to work with me." He turned to the Leader. "And what about you, sir? I'm not trying to take your job. I'd like to work with you, not in spite of you. What is there about this that bothers you?"

"You! What bothers me is you."

"Could you be a bit more specific? What about me?"

"Arrogance isn't quite the right word, because you're not blatantly arrogant. Rebellious isn't quite it either, because your manner is respectful. But everything you've said since you got here goes against the way we've always done things. You make me uncomfortable, to say the least."

"It helps that you can be honest about it. Change is often uncomfortable. But if you can live with the discomfort for a while, the end result will be worth it. If it isn't, you can always go back to the old ways. But give it a fair chance, before you give up on it. And I promise you this. You will not get in trouble for trying this."

"All right. We'll try it."

"Thank you."

xxxx

Over the next three days, Kirk did become Speaker for all units. The response of the Watchers varied from, 'What do you think you're doing here!?' to 'Oh, I heard about you.' But what they'd heard about him did not include his real identity, so Kirk didn't tell them either. Only one Watcher pulled his entire team out of the unit.

But even that Watcher knew he couldn't attack the entire team at once. He didn't have enough arms. So the team lined the wall, held at bay by a tentacle or two. They quietly watched while Kirk was ferociously attacked. But they'd seen all this before, so they calmly waited and were unalarmed. Kirk was pleased. The Watcher finally listened to what Kirk had to say, and allowed them to proceed.

Progress in teaching the other units to work effectively was mixed. A few caught the vision immediately, and were enthusiastic. Most were wary, defensive, sullen, obstructive, or all of the above. Kirk cajoled, persuaded, exhorted, and encouraged. In most units, he ended up offering his services as whipping boy. Eventually they all agreed to try, but it was no where near whole-hearted approval.

The problem was that Kirk didn't have the authority to take over all the units, throw out the leadership, and start over from scratch. He also didn't have time. So he gave his teams liberty to try anything they thought would work, provided it didn't undermine the existing leadership.

By the time they added the last unit, Kirk had the two hours with each unit down to a routine. He arrived at the front door, having been transported by 2731. His first task was a quick inspection tour on his way to the Speaker's room. Getting the Speaker's report was accomplished in minutes, since the Watchers no longer bothered to attack him. Regurgitating the report sometimes took ten minutes, if it was long.

Then he spent an hour and a half in the assembly hall with the leadership and his team assigned to that unit. He started the wand work first, so it could run the entire hour and a half, if necessary. With both wands going, he still managed to incur debts he didn't have time to pay. Maybe he could catch up on rest day. Meanwhile, he ignored the pain and proceeded with his meeting.

He answered questions, listened to complaints, explained and re-explained his concepts, and why their efforts weren't working. Sometimes there were specific changes he could suggest. Often however, the problem was their basic attitude. His teams were rather discouraged. He spent the last few minutes with them alone. He assured them he was not disappointed in them. He encouraged them to continue to model the behavior they were looking for, encourage and applaud it whenever they saw anyone exhibiting it, and refuse to give up.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Then came rest day. Kirk slept eight hours, the first sleep he'd had in three days. After a brief report to his own unit, he made an appearance in each of the other nine units. His primary purpose was to establish himself as Speaker. To that end, he took a video 2731 had prepared for him. Several minutes of footage taken from the attack scenes was followed by more footage showing Kirk peacefully talking to 2731, with his head covered in tentacles, but otherwise, just standing there.

After showing the video and giving a brief speech to the unit, Kirk had a few words with the leader, and with his team before moving on to the next unit. An hour and a half later, he was back in his own unit. Their meeting was just finishing. Kirk was struck by the difference in the atmosphere of his own unit and that of the other units. Fear and oppression were still forces to be reckoned with in the other units.

Kirk held a meeting with his leadership: J'orn, J'bit, J'kam, J'ot, J'rad. He thanked them for their patience with his absence, and asked for honest reports from each. It was all glowingly positive. Not a negative word to be heard.

Kirk was suspicious. "Okay, what are you not telling me?"

"There's nothing very wrong here," J'bit claimed.

"You have much bigger problems elsewhere," J'kam insisted.

J'rad volunteered, "Everything you've done has worked very well."

"Look, as Leader, I'm responsible for this unit. I care about what goes on here. If something's not working, even if it's a small thing, I need to know about it. Praise God for all the positive reports. After what I've seen in the other units, you all are bright shining lights. But that doesn't mean I want to ignore the problems. So talk to me. Doesn't matter how small a problem you think it is."

J'kam began. "There's an undercurrent of feeling that you've abandoned us in favor of your new project," he admitted reluctantly.

"We have two winning teams that we couldn't schedule a session for, because we didn't know when you'd be available," J'orn revealed. "The support staff are feeling neglected too."

J'bit mentioned the individual coaching sessions were four days behind, and J'ot claimed the rest day meeting was boring with almost nothing to do.

"You called us bright shining lights, but you are the driving force, the motivator, the reason it's all working." J'rad held his eyes. "We miss you."

Kirk nodded. "I understand. Several things we can do: 1) We'll have a daily meeting at the beginning of first shift to discuss issues. 2) I'll tour the plant once during each shift, every day. 3) Schedule the daily coaching session for second hour of third shift. 4) Can we schedule the sessions for winning teams today yet? And I'd like to do the four individual sessions too."

J'orn left to set that up. Kirk asked if any of them wanted to volunteer as victim for either session. J'rad and J'kam both did. So that detail was covered.

Six hours later, Kirk was free to meet with his elite group leaders. He let them talk for half an hour while he listened. J'est and J'dan were trying hard to see positive results where there was little reality to it. J'oso said very little, good or bad. His second was pretty discouraged. J'mik was peaceful, trusting Kirk to lead them. J'rip wanted to forcefully remove the existing leadership.

"It's the only thing that's going to work. You did it here, and that's why it's working. As long as we have to filter everything through their supervisors, we're never going to get rid of the fear. It's too ingrained. I know; I was one of them."

"You are probably right, but it's not time yet for such drastic surgery. We don't have the authority to simply take over all the units. So we continue to try to teach them, even while we recognize that our success will be limited. We have accomplished two major goals: I am now Speaker for all units; no one else will die that way. Secondly, we have a network of men in each unit and lines of communication between us.

"Now I'd like to conduct a final training session. Leave your ID's on the table here. J'oso, you take the lead. J'est, fetch the wands, if you would please."

Kirk was last down the ladder this time. They waited in silence.

"J'oso, is everybody here?"

"Yes, sir."

"J'est, you have the wands?"

"Yes, sir. Do you want them now?"

"No, if you don't mind, keep them for me. J'oso, take us down to the first turn."

Kirk followed the sounds of footsteps. When they stopped, he had everyone sit on the floor.

"All right. We're down here for two reasons. I want to cover a few things that I didn't want to say upstairs. I have said nothing as yet to any of the unit leaders about the upcoming mutiny. That's about to change, but I want to be sure you all are ready for it. J'oso, does everyone know the underground routes?"

"Yes, sir. Just like we talked. Assistants know their own route. J'est, J'rip, and I know all the routes. And everybody can do it blind on a dead run. I tested them myself."

"Here's how we'll work it then. The mutiny will begin at the start of third shift. On my present schedule, I will be sleeping at that time. No one should suspect anything of the sort at such an odd time. The only question is which day. I want one of you to casually pass me in the corridor as I leave the Speaker's room, shortly after the beginning of first shift. It should be a different one each day. As you pass me, I will either nod or shake my head. A nod means today is the day; a shake means not today. You then have most of two shifts to get it communicated to everyone. Any questions?"

"Can you be a bit more specific about how we're supposed to get everybody to stop work?"

"Yes. What I don't want you to do, or let anyone else do, is run through the plant shouting 'mutiny'. The unit leaders will know this is coming, but nobody else will. What you want to do is get everyone gathered in the assembly hall in an orderly fashion. Tell them it's an emergency meeting, mandatory attendance. After you take attendance, you can quietly tell them what's going on. I'm going to get live video coverage piped to all units, so turn on your big screen. If you can't control the mob reaction, yell for help. The Watcher will hear you. Any other questions?"

"If the Watcher just starts killing people, I don't think that will help."

"He won't. They're smarter than that. He'll pop me over to that unit to quell the riot, or possibly one of you. So be ready to get moved around some. Other questions?"

"You've said we're going to stop working. But what happens then?"

"I will make demands; they will agree to talk; we'll set up negotiations. All this may take a few hours. Get your units to list what they think the demands should be. I plan to visit each unit briefly sometime in those first few hours. It is my hope to have work resumed by the start of first shift. Work will continue only if negotiations are productive. Another thing - have the unit choose a representative to attend the negotiations, and possibly not a supervisor. It should be somebody the workers trust."

"Why not start this thing tomorrow? What are we waiting for?"

"I would like to get the other races in on this too. If I can contact my people, we can coordinate this on all fronts."

"If you try to do that, won't it alert the Watchers that something's up?"

"I don't think so. I'm going to send messages through the mobile teams. And the messages won't mean anything to anybody except my people. J'rad will see that it's very discreet.

"If there's no further questions, I'll move on to the second reason we're down here. As you know, I've incurred considerable debt in all the units. I intend to pay that debt today, all at once. I've arranged for them to meet us at J'oso's council room. We'll have to jog to get there on time. J'oso, please lead. Single file; stay close up."

Thirty minutes later, they arrived at the council room. The spotlight was already on, revealing the room to be already crowded. Kirk stepped into the spot.

"Thank you all for coming. Are all units here?"

They were.

"There are two purposes for this gathering. I am here to pay my debts. I also want to talk to all of you without the Watchers hearing every word. Is anyone wearing an ID?"

All had left them behind, as requested.

"All right, let's get this debt payment underway, and then we can talk."

He proceeded to quiz the plant managers as to how many hours he owed them. The total was almost 100. He divided it by the five hours they had, and asked everyone if they'd brought both wands. They had.

"I brought ours too. That's twenty wands for five hours, for a total of 100 hours. If you get tired, any of my team can take over for you. J'oso, you can wield ours, if you would, please. Do you all agree that this will pay my debt up to date?"

"Twenty wands! All at once!"

"That's insane!"

"Nobody can do that!"

"You don't know that nobody can do it, because no one's ever tried, have they?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Well, I'm trying it, so after today, we'll know. But you still haven't answered my question."

He got reluctant affirmatives from each of them.

"Let's get this show started then."

He took off his tunic and sandals, knelt, put his hands on his head, and closed his eyes. He couldn't see anybody past the glare of the spotlight anyway, but he figured that it would be easier for the wand wielders if his eyes were closed.

No one moved.

"J'oso, get them started."

"J'im, are you sure? You showed me what two felt like. This is twenty. You don't have to do this."

"I want the debt paid up today. This is the only way to get there. Don't worry; it won't kill me."

So J'oso took charge. He made J'mik time keeper, asking for quarter-hour delineations. To the plant managers, he became a drill sergeant.

"All right, you asked for this. It's not going to be fun. It's going to be a very long five hours. But you _will_ do this. I don't care if he screams, begs, or writhes in agony. You will not stop until I tell you to."

He assigned specific target areas to each one.

"On your marks, get set, go!"

Kirk gasped. Even though he was expecting it, it took him a few minutes to get his reaction under control. He was out of practice. Koh would have laughed.

"J'oso, somebody's missing."

"How do you know?"

"I can count."

J'oso didn't reply, but handed his wands to J'rip, who applied them to Kirk's face.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," replied J'rip.

Kirk turned his attention elsewhere, confident that J'oso would do his job.

"Unit Leaders, my second reason for calling this gathering was to talk to you." He proceeded to tell them his plans for mutiny, why it would work, how, and what he would do. Also, what he wanted them to do, the role of his team, and why they would wait several days to maybe another week. He talked for an hour, then answered questions for another hour.

"If there are no further questions, Leaders, you're free to go. You don't have to stay and watch the rest of this. Thank you for coming, and I'll see you all at the regular time tomorrow."

Nobody left.

"Are you afraid you'll get lost, or you think you have to wait for your colleagues? You can't be wanting to watch this. It's boring; there's nothing to see. Or are you wanting to see me fall apart?"

No one spoke.

"Will someone talk to me? Ask a question; say something. What would you like to talk about?"

Still no response.

"J'oso, what's going on? What am I missing?"

"They can't believe you can carry on a conversation in the middle of all this. Some are wondering if the wands even effect you. Most are staring in shocked awe."

"But why is now different from five minutes ago, or an hour ago?"

"An hour ago, the shock of the idea of mutiny was still fresh. Now they're at liberty to think about something else, namely what they're looking at."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense. Personally, I don't care if they stay or go, or whether we talk or not. But if anybody's got a question, I'll try to answer it; or somebody can suggest a topic for discussion."

Kirk fell silent and waited. Finally he heard a quietly tentative voice.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes, it does. It's supposed to. Punishment is designed to hurt."

"Why can't we see it?"

"I could show it to you, but I can't do that and talk at the same time. Up to now, talk has been of primary importance. Also, it's easier for the wand wielders if there's no reaction. Maybe not as satisfying, but it's easier to do, especially since they have to keep it up for hours."

"Which is easier for you?"

"No reaction is much easier; takes less energy."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I want the debt paid today."

"But why?"

"A debt that cannot be paid has no power. I want the continued cooperation of these plant managers, and I'm quite willing to pay for it."

"But all at once- it's too much. And five hours-"

"It's neither too intense nor too long. I've done worse more than once."

"How?"

"Before coming here, I was in the hands of an enemy race. They wished me to tell numerous military secrets. I did not know the information, but they did not believe I knew nothing. They spent many months trying to extract those secrets."

"But that doesn't explain how you do it."

"Sorry, I didn't understand the question." Kirk proceeded to explain his methods for pain management. This, with their questions, took up another hour. But gradually he became aware that they were looking for something besides technique, a deeper answer to questions they didn't know how to ask.

"So what you really want to know is what drives me, what motivates me, what is the source of my inner peace, who and what I am."

"Yes."

So Kirk told them about Jesus. He talked about love, how it was the opposite of fear, how it was always self-giving, needing nothing because it was already complete. He related it to the present circumstances, how he could accept what they did without fear or anger, because of the love of God which dwelt within him. He shared how much greater than that God's love was, and explained what God had done for them all.

He issued an invitation, and many of them became Christians on the spot. He then spent the remainder of their time trying to give them a crash course on the Christian walk. Concepts like righteousness and faith were mixed with practical wisdom on maintaining a vital relationship with the Lord.

The five hours were finally over. J'oso called a halt, and the plant managers collapsed with relief. Kirk regretted their time was up. But first shift began in one hour, so everyone would have to hustle.

"Thank you, everyone, a most profitable meeting. I'm sorry we have no more time for questions. I'll see you all at the scheduled times. We'll not discuss the mutiny. If you have questions about that, talk to one of my team, but do it without wearing an ID. The ID's contain microphones. That's all. Dismissed."

As the group dispersed, Kirk spoke briefly with J'rip and J'oso.

"Thank you, gentlemen. I'm grateful to have people who will do what I want without a lot of fuss."

"You trained us, sir," J'rip replied.

"Not for this, I didn't. You're just not the type to make a big fuss about anything."

"How did you know J'oso had given me his wands?"

"You're still holding them. Besides, it's what I would have done."

J'oso interrupted, "You can't have known you could do this. Why did you risk it?"

"You didn't think I could, did you? But what was I risking? The probability that it would kill me was almost non-existent. If I couldn't control my reaction, I'd have been screaming and writhing in agony. So what? The only consequence would have been that I'd have had to find another time to discuss the mutiny. Getting the debt paid was more important."

"You sound like you would have cheerfully screamed for five hours straight to get those guys' cooperation." J'rip stepped back to get some emotional distance.

"Yes, I would have. It takes about twelve hours of screaming to exhaust me. This was only five. I wouldn't even have been seriously hoarse."

"Your only concern is an ability to function afterwards?" J'oso was unsuccessfully trying not to be appalled. "Why don't you care what anybody thinks of you?"

"My identity isn't affected by what people think of me. What God thinks of me is all that matters, and He calls me a much-loved son, regardless of anything I do, or don't do." He paused. "But I'm curious. What would you have thought of me?" Kirk addressed the question to J'oso, giving J'rip a chance to slip out.

J'oso ignored J'rip's departure and focused on Kirk. "Given what I've already seen you do, I wouldn't have been sure it wasn't faked."

"But if you became convinced it was real?" Kirk pressed.

"Depends what kind of out-of-control you were. If we'd had to hold you down to keep you from running away-"

"Fear is ugly, I agree. And I hate it in me more than in anyone else."

"Have you ever been afraid? I sure haven't seen it!"

"You don't want to. It's not pretty."

"What happened?" J'oso demanded.

"You mean, what was I afraid of, or what did I do about it?"

"Well, both."

"I have been afraid many times in my life. One of the more spectacular occurred a few months ago. They'd finally found a combination of torture I couldn't stand. After several days of it, I fell apart - lost all control of myself. When he finally turned it off, I discovered I'd developed an uncontrollable fear: fear of him, fear of the pain, the equipment, the room. It was awful; I hated it.

"I battled it with every ounce of my shattered will-power. For over a week, I refused to let it control my behavior. My will-power got stronger, the more we pushed it. I got so I could relax, in spite of the anticipation driving me crazy. But the fear didn't go away until the Lord delivered me from it. We played with that particular torture for weeks after that, but the fear never returned. I was very glad."

"Did you say, 'we'?" J'oso was again trying not to be appalled.

"Yes, he and I had become good friends. I don't know that I could have conquered it without his help."

"He is the one who did it to you? And yet you call him 'friend'?"

"I call you friend too."

J'oso shook his head. "I don't understand that either."

"It's the love of God. You should try it; you'd like it."

"Maybe."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The next four days passed quickly. Bones was still not on line. Kirk used J'rad to send messages to each of his people. He got a large cleaning rag and wrote on it in Standard:

Ready? Y/N  
>S<br>LM  
>MS<br>NU  
>HS<br>PC

J'rad sent this rag to each unit where his people were, having obtained this knowledge from the mobile teams. It took two days, but the rag came back with Y's after each one's initials, including Bones. So Kirk turned the rag over, and wrote again.

THIS FRI  
>START 3rd<p>

His people would recognize the old-style abbreviation for the fifth day of the week, but no one on this planet used such names, nor could they read Standard.

J'rad caught up with him as he entered the Speaker's room that fifth day.

"All six got the message."

"Thanks, J'rad. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Kirk's conversations with 2731 had been all business. He had told him they were getting close, so had several instructions. He wanted them to pipe live video coverage to all units. He wanted them ready to gather the various parties together in one place for negotiations. And most important, he wanted a team of Watchers alert to potential mob action. If necessary, he or one of the others was to be quickly transported to the trouble spot.

*Today's the day. Are you all set?*

*I hope so. I don't mind telling you I'm scared.*

*Are you afraid of me and what I have planned?*

*No, I don't think that's it. I'm afraid of the mob reaction. I don't see how you think you can control them.*

*Are you confident you can get me there before anybody gets killed?*

*Oh, yes, but how can you stop a mob all by yourself?*

*What will you do if I can't?*

*If they start killing us, we'll have to kill them.*

*No, you don't. It would be better for you to let them kill all of you, than for you to kill a single one of them. Nonetheless, if I cannot stop the mob, the first one they kill will be me.*

xxxx

Kirk met with his senior staff in the conference room, after having given the nod to J'rip. Things were going well in his unit. There were few problems to report. Kirk's only problem was how to tell them what was about to occur, and when. He didn't want them taken completely by surprise. But he could not discuss it openly, because only J'orn knew that 2731 already knew about the mutiny.

"Are you all pleased with the way things are going?"

A chorus of affirmatives.

"So you would say the changes I've made have been good?"

More affirmatives.

"How much do you trust me? If I asked you to do something life-threatening, would you do it?"

They stared in incomprehension. Kirk took off his ID, and placed it on the table.

"When I came here, I was told that if I did not wear the ID, I would die. The ID's contain a sensor that alerts the Watchers if you take it off. They keep track of who's who, and where you are by means of the ID's. They also listen to every word you say via the microphone in the ID. There are microphones and cameras in all the rooms too. You know all this. Will you take off your ID and join me in the mess hall?"

Kirk rose and left the room without waiting for an answer. J'rad followed him immediately.

"Sir, are you sure this is wise?"

Kirk stopped and turned to look at J'rad.

"J'rad, you were the first person on this planet that trusted me. Have I changed?"

"No, sir."

"I have to talk to them. The other alternatives are even riskier than this."

J'orn joined them in the corridor.

"J'orn, how are your conversations coming with 2731?"

"Actually, I've been talking mostly to 2891. 2731 said he did not have time. Yesterday, we talked for over two hours. It seemed like minutes."

Kirk chuckled. "I know what you mean. Let's get something to drink. The others can join us."

"Do you think they will?"

"Yes, I do, but if they don't, you'll have to find a way to talk to them without me."

They found a table in the middle of the room. No one seemed to notice their lack of ID's. J'kam had joined them before they sat down; J'bit and J'ot were not far behind.

"Thank you, gentlemen. I'll keep it brief, but this information is essential. Listen carefully."

He outlined his plans for the mutiny. He told them what he wanted each to do at the appointed time, and reiterated the importance of controlling the mob reaction. Lastly he warned them that he himself might disappear without notice to quell a riot in some other unit. They had few questions. He asked J'orn to stay after dismissing the rest.

"Three things, J'orn. First, if I get pulled out of here, you have to control this unit. Can you?"

"Yes, I think so. I don't have your charisma, but they remember me. I was stern with the discipline, but mostly fair. I think they'll listen to me."

"Good. Second thing - to do what I need, you're going to have to be able to survive hours upon days of listening to the negotiations. Can you do it?"

"I don't know. Yesterday, I hardly felt it, the living history was so real. But just talk, I don't know. Though, I haven't felt any after effects from any of it. So maybe."

"Okay, we'll just have to see if it works. But please say something before you pass out, if possible. It wouldn't help the negotiations if people think the Watchers attacked you."

"I'm having to adjust my thinking radically. Up to now, attacking is all I've seen Watchers do."

"I understand. The third thing is this. For the duration of negotiations, neither you nor I will be here. Who do you recommend we leave in charge of this unit?"

"More adjusted thinking. Before you got here, I would automatically have said J'bit. He carries the rank; he has the right. But now- we need him doing exactly what he's doing. I would say J'rad, and J'kam would be my second choice. They're both good with people, and able administrators. They've got experience in more than one department. J'ot can run the mobile units without J'rad. I'm not sure how well the plant floor would do without J'kam."

"J'rad it is then. He was my choice too, but I thought maybe I was biased."

xxxx

Mutiny hour arrived. Kirk had spent the previous two hours on his bunk praying. Now he moved into action. He reached the plant floor just as the shift bell rang.

"Emergency meeting!" he bellowed. "Everyone to the assembly hall now!"

Kirk sprinted for the mobile unit gathering room, and made the same announcement. Then he ran to the mess hall and kitchen with the same news. After that, he went to the assembly hall, trusting his staff to round up everybody. It took almost fifteen minutes, and another ten to take attendance. They locked the doors, and all but J'orn stood guard at the back. J'orn joined Kirk on the stage, but within range of the side door.

"Thank you, gentlemen. I appreciate your patience. I realize this is unexpected, has probably never happened before, and may never happen again. Many of you are wanting a shower and a meal; some of you were planning to sleep for the next several hours. My apologies for your inconvenience.

"I called this meeting. I have arranged for every unit of every race on this planet to be having a similar meeting right now. Three weeks ago, I told you the reign of terror was over. I now declare to you the reign of slavery is over. From this day forward, we will be slaves of the Watchers no more."

Dead silence greeted this announcement.

"You think they will kill me for making such a statement? Or kill you if you follow me? Or even kill your families back home? No, they will do none of these things. Why? Because they cannot afford to annihilate their workforce. And if you think families aren't part of the workforce, think again. Families create children, who grow up to be workers. The Watchers aren't that short-sighted. They're not going to kill your families. They have wanted you to think they might, just to keep you from doing what we're doing today.

"You still think they're going to kill me for telling you all this. But they're not. It's in their best interests to avoid a riot, not start one. So if I disappear, it's not because they've killed me. It'll be because some other unit is trying to start a riot, and they want me to stop it. And I will.

"But I want you to promise me you will not start a riot. We can do this in an orderly fashion, and no one will get killed. If we resort to violence, they will have no reason to refrain from killing us. And they will think they're doing it in self-defense. They will think they have no options, even if they remember that it's not in their best interest long-term."

"How do you know what they will think?" yelled one worker in the back.

"Self-preservation is a basic instinct of all life-forms. Let me put it this way. Suppose you and I are standing on this platform facing each other. In your hand is a switch. If you press the switch, I disappear - gone, annihilated. I know you have this switch. If I raise my arm to attack you, what do I expect you to do? Let me kill you, or press the switch?"

"Then why don't they kill us all and be done with it?" This from another worker.

"They need your services. That is why this mutiny will work the way I have it planned. Right now, no one on this planet is working. And we're not going to work until they agree to negotiate. They cannot afford to kill us all. Their civilization would fall apart before they could replace us.

"If they try killing a few in order to intimidate the rest, simply refuse to be intimidated. And double the price every time they try that. As long as you stand fast, they will give in. They'll have to. But you must refuse to be ruled by fear.

"If you give in to fear, they will continue to rule you, and you will be slaves for the rest of your miserable lives. If you fight it, you can gain your freedom, and learn to live better lives. But the fight must be won within your own soul. Each of you must conquer the fear within himself. If even one of you gives up, others will too. Then they will have their workforce of slaves driven by fear.

"You must decide today, because the lines are being drawn. But as you weigh that decision, think about how your life has been different these past three weeks. This unit has not been run on fear since I took over. Has the result been better or worse?

"Those of you who support me in this mutiny, who refuse to be driven by fear, please stand up."

For a long moment, no one moved. Then, as one man, they all stood up. Kirk was suddenly overwhelmed.

"Thank you. This sight moves me deeply. Thank you."

Kirk extracted a non-violence promise from them as well, then set them to choosing a representative for the negotiations. He and J'orn were unavailable. Kirk strongly urged them to pick a worker, rather than one of the senior staff. To his surprise, they picked the head cook. He'd been there a long time, and was something of a father figure. Apparently, he'd offered counsel and wisdom to most of them at one time or another. Kirk shook his hand as they applauded.

"I regret not having made time to get better acquainted with you. They think very highly of you."

"I have watched you since you got here, and listened to what they said about you. That private coaching session you gave me, I learned some things, but mostly I wanted to watch you work. I've been around awhile, so you can believe me when I say, you're the best thing that's ever happened to this planet. If anybody can pull this off, it's you. I'm glad to be a part of it, and I count it a privilege to serve."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence. Our next task is to outline the list of demands we will make."

"If I may interrupt, sir, I've got food in that kitchen that's going to spoil if second shift doesn't eat it."

"All right, send two or three kitchen workers to serve up the food, and then shut the kitchen down, but you stay here. J'kam, send your guys to the shower first; mobile teams, you can eat first. But everybody get back here as fast as you can. We won't take a final vote without you, but I want your input as we put the list together too."

They spent most of the next two hours putting together a preliminary list of demands. Once Kirk persuaded them that an immediate ticket home wasn't practical, things went fairly smoothly. Until Kirk suddenly disappeared.

J'orn and the cook looked at each other in alarm. The entire unit half rose to its feet. The cook raised an arm.

"Wait! Remember what he said. If he disappeared, then somebody was trying to start a riot, and they want him to stop it. The last thing he needs is for us to join the rioters. If others start disappearing too, then I'll believe they're trying to intimidate us. But he said if we stand fast, they'll give in. We will _not_ be intimidated. If he's taught us anything, it's how to refuse fear."

While he'd been talking, J'orn turned on the video screen. They saw an angry mob of their people in the street, advancing toward a large building. Suddenly J'im, J'oso, and J'rip appeared about twenty feet in front of them. The audio clearly picked up Kirk's voice.

"Stop! Not one step further!"

"Out of our way!"

"All you're doing is talk. We're takin' action!"

"Mow him down! Let's get moving!"

But the crowd hesitated, not liking the menace of the three who opposed them. J'oso and J'rip said nothing, but they clearly backed Kirk.

"Listen to me! If you're bent on self-destruction, we can find a way to oblige you, but you're not going to ruin it for everybody else on this planet. I won't let you!"

He took a step toward them. The front row tried to back up, but were prevented by those behind.

"If you're determined to die today, you can do it right now. I can break your neck for you if you insist. Come on, who wants to be first?!"

He took several steps towards them, and those in the front panicked. They turned and began fighting through the crowd behind them.

"If you don't want to die today, then march right back to your unit, now! Move!"

And he advanced again. They moved. He, J'oso, and J'rip followed them all the way into their assembly hall. They sat down in sullen silence. Kirk took the stage. Instructing the unit Leader to lock the doors and take attendance, he turned to J'rip.

"What do you know about this?"

"No more than you, sir. They were already in the street by the time I got here."

"All right. Thanks for the assist. You better get back to your units before we have wide-spread panic. And if you have time, stop in on my unit and tell J'orn I'm fine."

"Yes, sir." J'rip departed.

The unit Leader reported that all were present. Kirk fixed his steely glare on the assembled crowd.

"I want to know who started this. Which of you really think that anything can be gained by resorting to violence? Who put the idea into your heads? Everyone in this room is guilty. But someone, or several someones, are more guilty than the rest. I'm giving you one chance to step forward and admit it. If I have to, I'll interrogate every person in this room. I _will_ find out who started it. When I do, you will realize that it would have been better if you'd freely admitted your guilt."

He paused, but no one responded. He pointed his finger randomly at someone in the front row.

"You! Stand up!" He stood. "Think back. Do you know who is responsible?" He nodded. "Give me a name." The man shook his head.

Kirk tried several more, with the same result. He turned to the unit Leader.

"Who are they protecting? Is it you?"

The man shook his head, but would say nothing. He looked miserable, but not guilty. Kirk surveyed the crowd once more. Then he closed his eyes and prayed aloud.

"Lord Jesus, to fix what's wrong here, I need to know where to start. Tell me, please, what I need to know."

_You have a Judas._


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Understanding dawned, Kirk opened his eyes, and slowly turned to face the three men on his right. J'oso, on the end, looked back gravely. The man next to him was the assistant in this unit. He looked frightened. As Kirk focused his attention on the third man, he suddenly crumpled to his knees, his face in his hands. Someone in the crowd stood and came forward. When J'oso saw who it was, he gasped. Kirk looked from one to the other, puzzled. J'oso stepped forward.

"Sir, it is my fault. Punish me."

"Explain."

"He is one of those you met in the council." J'oso's voice was soft.

"Loud and clear, so everybody can hear, please."

"But-"

"All are guilty; all should hear the explanation."

"Because of what I told you to tell them, he does not believe in your mutiny. He has poisoned the mind of your team leader, who was in a position to take action."

"Do you know this to be truth, or are you guessing?" Kirk asked.

"I did not know it was happening, or I would have stopped it. I should have known. It is my fault," J'oso insisted.

Kirk turned to the council member, who had reached the front.

"Is J'oso telling the truth?"

"It is not J'oso's fault. It's mine. He knew nothing about it." He was frightened, yet defiantly arrogant.

"J'ret, stand up. If I were planning an action such as this, I would need three or four key people to fan the flames. Who are they?" Kirk demanded.

J'ret mumbled some numbers.

"Say again, loud and clear."

"42680, 48913, and 45337."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, sir."

Kirk turned to the crowd. "Will those three men come to the platform, please." He mentally catalogued the type as soon as they stood up. He gestured them to stand behind him. Then he addressed the air.

"Watcher, do you know what a whip is? If there is one anywhere on this planet, I need it right now. Access my file from two months ago; you'll know what I'm after."

Kirk turned to the council member. "What is your name?"

"I am number 40839," the man automatically parroted.

"Given the magnitude of your crime, if you were me, what would you do about it?"

"Send me to the Speaker's job."

"Sorry, killing you's not an option. What else?"

40839 just shook his head, and would not look at Kirk.

"What about these others? What should I do with them?"

No response. Kirk turned to J'ret.

"I put you here with the express purpose of preventing what just happened. Instead of preventing it, I find that you instigated it. What shall I do with you?"

J'ret gave no answer.

J'oso stepped forward. "Punish me, please. The fault is mine."

"No," Kirk insisted. "My concern is preventing a repetition. I need someone I trust to handle this unit after I leave. You're elected. I'm taking J'ret with me, so you'll be short-handed."

"You trust me?! After this?"

"Yes," Kirk stated flatly without elaboration. He turned back to 40839. "As for you, I think you like secrets. You like the power that secret knowledge gives you. You enjoy manipulating people and events based on the view of reality that secret gives you. Well, you're not going to use my secret knowledge ever again. Right now, I want you to announce to everybody, loud and clear, just what that secret is. Then it will be secret no more."

"What?! You don't want me to tell! You can't!"

"But I do. I insist. You may not use me anymore."

"You can't make me tell!" Defiance was winning over fright.

"No, I can't. But if you don't, I will. Your days of power are over, whether you tell or I tell."

"They won't believe me."

"Why not? You believed it."

"Because it was stupid to say such a thing if it weren't true. But it was stupid to say it if it was true too."

"So I'm stupid. Are you going to tell, or am I?"

"But it would ruin all your plans. I don't get it." 40839 was confused as well as angry.

"You and J'ret very nearly ruined it for the entire planet. I'm not risking a repeat performance. So start talking - last chance."

"Rrggh!" He turned to the crowd and yelled. "He was brought here by the Watchers!"

"So were we all! What's that got to do with anything?" someone in the crowd yelled.

"You don't understand! They brought him here to start this mutiny!"

"Nonsense! That's ridiculous!" This objection came from several voices.

"But it's true!" 40839 insisted. "Why do you think he's so opposed to violence? He doesn't want the Watchers to get hurt."

Kirk jumped into the silence. "I don't want any of you hurt either. What would happen if you started killing Watchers?"

"But you're on their side! This whole mutiny thing is a farce!" 40839 yelled, desperate to be believed.

"What purpose would be served by staging a false mutiny?"

"To ferret out the real mutineers!"

"I've known for two weeks who the leader of that group was. Has any harm come to him?"

"Not that I can see," 40839 admitted.

"I haven't even told the Watchers who he is. It's possible that they've guessed, but maybe not. Anyway, if you think this mutiny isn't real, just ask the Watchers if they're happy about the fact that no one's working."

"I can't. You're the only one that can talk to Watchers." Some of the belligerence was back.

"Actually, that's not true." He addressed the air. "Watcher, take this man to your room, plug in one connection, and tell him what you think about this mutiny. Then send him back here."

The man was gone less than two minutes. He returned, shaken and rubbing his head, but seemed unharmed.

"Well, what did he say?" Kirk inquired.

It took a minute for 40839 to find his voice. "He said, the mutiny is very real; he is scared, but the boss trusts you. He said, you're playing a dangerous game, very risky. And they're still looking for a whip." He paused and gathered his resolve. "But just because he says it's real doesn't mean it is!"

"I'm not going to argue with you. I'm not even going to shut you up, so you'll undoubtedly find some in this crowd who will listen to your poison. But if it escalates to renewed violence, you'll have to answer to me." He turned to the crowd. "Any questions about what he told you?"

"Is any of it true?" someone asked.

"His report of what the Watcher said sounds like truth to me. As for the rest of it: I am not on the side of the Watchers. Everything I have done since I came here has been for the express purpose of starting a mutiny. What has your colleague so confused in his thinking is that the Watchers knew of my purpose, at least some of them did. In order for you to understand why they would permit me to do what I have done, you need some history that I don't have time to tell you right now. Perhaps on rest day. For now, you need to act as if the mutiny is real, and if you find out later that it's not, you've lost nothing.

"And now, I'm going to give you a lesson in violence." He strode to the middle of the platform and picked up the whip which had appeared on the floor. He fingered the leather, grasped the handle, and shook it out. It was about the same length, but heavier, than the one he was used to.

"J'oso, come here. Take off your tunic. Put your hands on your head."

J'oso readily complied, thinking Kirk had changed his mind. Kirk turned to the three men standing behind him.

"Now watch carefully."

Kirk applied the lash to J'oso's back. The crack of the whip was loud; J'oso gasped and staggered forward, but there was no visible mark on his back. Kirk coiled the whip.

"Put your hands down, and turn around. Tell me what that felt like."

"I was startled, by the sound mostly. How it felt? Like a heavy thud, I guess."

"Does your back still hurt?"

"No, I wouldn't say it hurt at all really, at least, not like the wand."

"All right. Take the whip. This is the handle. Now I want you to do to me what I just did to you."

"No, you're not-"

"Are you refusing to obey me?"

"With your skin, it'll rip you to shreds."

"The question is, how many lashes will it take. So do what I tell you."

"Please don't do this."

"To be effective, it has to be brutal. Now stop arguing."

Kirk took off his tunic, and J'oso hit him with the whip. He tried to guess how much he could take, based on what it felt like. He used to think nothing of sixty lashes. With this whip, however, he wasn't sure he could take thirty.

He addressed the crowd. "Violence is ugly, and messy, and it stinks. You are all going to have personal knowledge of this fact before I'm through here. So if you ever again think about resorting to violence, this scene will come to your mind. It is my hope that the memory will deter you from participating in any further mob violence."

He turned to the three men behind him. "The most common punishment for disorderly conduct is five. Given the magnitude of that conduct, I think ten is more suitable. So, you will each give me ten lashes with this whip. With every lash, I want you to imagine that you are punishing the Watchers for all the mistreatment, the fear, the killing. Let's see how much violence you can inflict."

Pointing at the council member, he continued. "You will keep track of the count." He moved his pointer to J'ret. "And you will keep track of whose turn it is. It wouldn't be fair to the last man for them to do their ten all at once." He turned to J'oso. "And you will see that they all do what they're supposed to.

"If I fall down, you wait for me to get up. And no one helps me. If I can't stand, you can get a chair for me to lean on. If I pass out, you wait for me to wake up before you finish.

"When it's all done, every person in this room will touch my back, and put their fingers in the blood. Look at it, feel it, smell it. And remember the violence you wanted."

The first lash staggered Kirk. J'oso had not applied very much force. Well, it would certainly be brutal. He concentrated on surviving it. He had no awareness of how it looked, but J'oso had ample opportunity for observation. Kirk's face was devoid of expression. He made no unnecessary movements. He seemed unaware of his surroundings as he drew himself inward. The only thing that existed for him was the whip, and what it was doing to him. Even the men wielding the whip were outside his consciousness.

On the eighth lash, Kirk fell. On the twelfth, he fell again. After the fifteenth, he fell with every stroke. His body was shaking from the trauma, but he continued to rise after each fall. On the twentieth lash, Kirk could not get up. J'oso brought him a chair, and clinging to it, Kirk managed to gain his feet. For the next three strokes, Kirk clung to the chair, but on the twenty-fourth again fell to the floor. Thereafter, he again fell with every lash.

In J'oso's opinion, there was no question of his willingness to get up, only whether he could. As they approached the end, J'oso realized that in Kirk's mind, there was no question that he would get up, only how long it would take. After the thirtieth, Kirk struggled to his feet once more, clinging to the chair for support. J'oso guessed that Kirk had no idea they were finished.

"That's all, J'im. We're done."

Kirk's voice was low, but still carried the tone of intense determination. "Touch my back. Everybody. You first."

Kirk's back was in shreds. His pants were in ribbons too. The whip had sliced through cloth as easily as flesh. It took over half an hour, but J'oso marched the entire unit past Kirk. Each one touched the bleeding mess. Continuing to shake, Kirk twitched and jerked with every touch. But he did not fall again, though he continued to lean on the chair. And throughout the entire ordeal, he made no sound.

J'oso stood before Kirk once more.

"It is done."

"J'oso, I'm leaving you with a mess. Get them to talk if you can. If I've made them thoroughly sick of violence, then it was worth it. I'll come back and talk to them on rest day if I can. Hand me my shirt, please. J'ret, we're leaving."

When they had left, J'oso addressed the crowd.

"I do not profess to understand the depths of this man's character, but this much I do know - what he did here today cost him dearly. No one would do such a thing without a very good reason, and most wouldn't do it for any reason. His reason: to keep you from trying to kill Watchers. Why? Because he knows that if you do that, you will die. And the fact that he half-killed himself doesn't seem to concern him.

"He wants us to talk about this, so that's what we're going to do. Starting with me: I feel shocked, appalled, guilty, and sick inside. He admitted we were all guilty, but he wouldn't punish any of us. He punished himself instead. I have never seen a sight as awful as his back looked, and I hope I never have to do this again, ever.

"I do not understand why he trusts me, why he refuses to defend or protect himself, why he does the things he does. I have watched him for weeks, and he continues to surprise me. He's a charismatic leader, and an able administrator. He's not afraid to push for what he wants, but he pushes himself harder than anyone else.

"It's true that the Watchers know him. He says they asked him to come, and I've seen them obey his orders. But so far as I can tell, this mutiny is real, and it will work exactly the way he says it will."

xxxx

J'ret appeared on the platform next to J'orn. Both were startled; both wanted to know where Kirk was. Someone pointed to the screen. Kirk was on his hands and knees in a large room, surrounded by Watchers. He slowly got to his feet, and faced one of them. He gestured and J'orn understood he was inviting them to talk to him. Two tentacles slowly approached and touched his head.

xxxx

*I presume this is the Ruling Ring. I apologize for not being appropriately dressed for the occasion. Also, I am not quite prepared for this conference yet.*

*Yes, we are the Ruling Ring, and your attire or lack of it is irrelevant. And I am aware that you are not ready for negotiations. We have three concerns: I want to make sure you survive long enough to make those negotiations. I want to know if they will trust you to lead the negotiations in spite of their knowledge of your identity. The last issue is a matter of some delicacy. I'm not sure how to state the question.*

*Let's cover the others first then. Why would I not survive the negotiations?*

*Your present medical condition is in some question.*

*Is Bones having a fit?*

*He is upset with you, yes, but he seems more angry than worried. I however, do not know enough to know that you're not dying.*

*First, I thought we agreed you were going to trust Jesus to take care of me.*

*I'm trying, but the back looks terrible, and I can tell your pain is great.*

*It's been worse, and I don't think I'm in shock, so I'm probably not dying. So stop worrying.*

*I want your Dr. McCoy to treat your back.*

*Slaves don't get medical treatment.*

*You're not a slave, and they all know that now.*

*Maybe. What they know is pretty confused right now, which brings me to your second issue. I don't know if they will trust me. We can but try. And from the beginning, there was never any guarantee of trust. But the stage has been set. You can proceed to negotiate without me if you have to.*

*I pray we won't have to try. Nobody but you could have stopped that mob.*

*J'oso and J'rip could have.*

*Maybe. Anyway the third issue is this. We are aware that the beating you took is because of what we have done to these people over the years. I do not sense any anger in you, but we do not want you to do this again. If there is to be any more violence, let them inflict it on us. I would rather let them kill me than have to watch what they did to you.*

*It was supposed to be sickeningly awful. That was the whole point. And they're not going to kill you without first killing me. I told you that before.*

*I know you did. I'm just telling you - no more beatings. I won't stand for it.*

*You sound like someone I know; Bones, maybe. One of those lost memories. Anyway, your warning is duly noted. And you can call in McCoy if you want; just do it off camera. I don't want to show it to the whole planet.*

*What do I show them instead? And for how long?*

*A few seconds from each unit, so they can see that all work is at a standstill. And thirty minutes ought to be long enough. Send me back to the Speaker's room. It's got a shower, and there shouldn't be anybody in there.*

So that's what they did. By the time Kirk dragged himself to the bathroom, McCoy had arrived, black bag in hand.

"Jim, you idiot! What the frak do you think you're doing?!"

"Save your breath, Bones. I've already been chewed out once. First doesn't like it anymore than you do."

"It's a wonder you're conscious! Do you have any idea what this _looks_ like?!"

"No, and don't tell me. Just fix it. But don't take more than half an hour. That's all the off-camera time I've got."

"You didn't have to stick all those fingers in it. Just asking for infection."

"Yes, I did, and you know why. And don't give me any pain medication. I don't need it, and I don't have time to be non-functional."

"You should have thought of that before you got yourself sliced to ribbons. Thirty lashes! What were you thinking?!" said McCoy, as he efficiently cleaned the wounds.

"How to make it sufficiently awful that they would be sickened by it."

"And I suppose surviving it never entered your thinking?"

"Actually it did. I had initially planned to do sixty. Just as well I cut it in half; I might not have survived sixty."

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of J'rad.

"Excuse me, sir. J'orn sent me to see if you were here, and if you needed help."

"Hello, J'rad. This is Dr. McCoy, one of my people. Tell J'orn I'm fine, and I'll be there shortly. You could find me some clothes, though. These pants are beyond repair."

"Of course, sir."

He was back within minutes, with a complete clean outfit.

"Are you sure you're okay, sir?"

"Dr. McCoy has lots of practice in patching me up. Stop worrying."

So J'rad left to report to J'orn.

"I have to look like I'm fine, regardless of whether I really am or not. And I can't do that if you pump me full of drugs. So, I repeat, no pain medication."

"I heard you the first time, and I knew that without being told anyway. You've been like that for years." McCoy started applying bandages, gently but quickly.

"Oh. Well, I don't remember those years. Sorry."

"So, other than this mess, how are you really?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"And the memory loss?"

"Mostly I don't think about it." He changed the subject. "Bones, 2731 keeps telling me you're not on line yet. Is there a problem?"

"They won't let me. Say I'm too valuable as a healer. But they'll change their minds when they see what's going on. We may be a little behind, but we'll get there. And I have friends in all the units.

"Okay, I'm done. The dressing ought to be changed daily, and if you start getting feverish, you've got an infection. And Jim, no repeat performances. Your body can only tolerate so much."

"Thanks, Bones." Kirk dressed quickly, putting aside the pain as he did so. "See ya." And he was out the door and down the hall before McCoy was transported back to his own unit.

Kirk surveyed the assembly hall as he entered via the side door. J'orn and the cook held center stage; J'rad guarded the door; and J'ret was huddled by himself in a corner of the platform. The cook stopped talking as he caught sight of Kirk, but Kirk ignored him and went straight to J'ret.

"Stand up."

"Sir!" J'ret gasped. "But, I thought- I mean, how can you-" He sputtered to silence, and stood with lowered eyes.

"Look at me. J'ret, you need your thinking retrained. You're going to spend the next 24 hours talking to Watchers. Then come see me after the rest day meeting."

J'ret's eyes widened, but he said nothing.

"2731, get him out of here. I don't care who he talks to, or what about. Tell him anything he wants to know. And send him back here for rest day."

Kirk spent several minutes trying to assure his unit that he was fine. They didn't see how he could be, understandably. He tried to make a joke of it; they just stared.

"Look: I'm conscious, on my feet, and functional. I'm sorry for that little interruption, but we have work to do."

But they couldn't leave it alone. No one would discuss anything except his beating. So he gave in and let them talk. He was surprised at the vehemence of their emotions. They were angry, not with him, but with the other unit. And the focus of their anger was J'oso, whom they felt was a traitor.

"J'oso is not a traitor; he was following orders, my orders. The men of that unit did what they did because I told them to. It was my idea and my responsibility. The condition of my back is no one's fault but mine. So if you're going to be angry, be mad at me, not them."

"But they had no right to punish you!" This was from an outspoken man in the second row.

"No, they had a duty to obey orders. And they weren't punishing me anyway. If anything, I was punishing them. The purpose of punishment is to deter the offender from repeating the crime. They'll think long and hard before starting another riot."

Someone in the back yelled, "But what they did to you should not be done to anyone!"

"That was the point. But why are you so upset? Why does it matter what happens to me? I'm just an alien anyway."

Dead silence.

"Well? Three weeks ago, that's all I was in your eyes: an alien, a foreigner, an outsider. The week you spent throwing filth in my face, you wouldn't have cared if I'd gotten beat to death. What's different now?"

They were uncomfortable at being reminded of what they themselves had done to Kirk. After several moments of uneasy shuffling, the head cook came to their rescue.

"The difference is they now see you as a person, not an alien. They've seen that you care about them as individuals. You value us as people. You continue to give of yourself in order to make us successful."

"If you see me as a person, can you see the Watchers as persons, instead of aliens and enemies?"

"Do they care about us? Do they value us? Do they give us anything?" These questions came from several guys in the middle of the pack.

"Not yet, but they will."

"How do you know?" asked the head cook.

"The sooner we get back to work, the sooner I can show you."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Finally they permitted a return to the list of demands. When he had a summary in hand, Kirk traveled to each of the other units to get their lists too. He returned to his unit with each unit's delegate as well. After spending a few minutes comparing lists, they were ready to negotiate.

"Watchers, hear me! You have subjugated these people as slaves for a long time. You have killed the innocent; you have oppressed the rest. You have driven them by fear and intimidation. From this day forward, you will do so no more. You will treat them with respect; you will pay them for their services; you will kill and steal no longer.

"As you know, no one on this planet is working. They will return to work when you have proven your willingness to negotiate. For starters, you will provide a place for us to gather, where we may discuss terms. You will transport delegates from each of the races. You will listen without interruption to the demands of each race. Then you will have up to two hours to deliberate before replying to those demands. If the reply shows a willingness to comply with reasonable demands, as well as work out differences, then, and only then, will we return to work.

"If you are willing to negotiate, you may begin by transporting J'orn, myself, and these ten delegates."

They found themselves in a large indoor arena. The raised seating area was occupied by First's people. Kirk and his delegation were placed at one end of the arena floor. Chairs were provided for the ten delegates, but not for Kirk or J'orn.

As Kirk watched, delegates from the other races began to arrive. They lined the outside of the arena floor, leaving a wide-open space in the middle. Kirk spotted each of his people as they arrived, but made no effort to speak with them. From the noise level, and body language of some, Kirk deduced that not everyone was as prepared for this as he was.

Once the groups of delegates had all arrived, the center area was suddenly occupied by seven Watchers. Kirk saw First among them, and deduced this was the Ruling Ring. He and J'orn began walking toward them, as did each of his people. Spock and Scotty each had a witness like J'orn, but the others did not. McCoy was still having an argument with his delegates, but it looked to Kirk as if he was winning.

As they approached, First broke the circle and slowly moved to the center of the ring. Kirk moved into the gap thus created. J'orn hung back, but Kirk motioned him into the circle. The rest of Kirk's people stepped into the circle also, arrayed between First and the Ruling Ring. The Watchers on either side of Kirk made contact with two tentacles each.

*Welcome, Captain Kirk.*

*I do not stand before you today as Captain Kirk, but as slave #46529, demanding freedom for all the slaves.*

*We understand that, Captain.* It was a different voice. *But you serve a dual function in this matter, and we recognize the uniqueness of your identity.*

During this exchange, First and the others had been busy plugging in. Suddenly Kirk was aware of a crowd of voices in his head. First's was prominent.

*Everyone, be quiet, please.* Reasonably prompt compliance. *My apologies, Captain. We are not used to this. As before, would you please officiate this gathering?*

*Yes, I will. The purpose of this meeting is to hear the demands of the seven races whom you have enslaved. But there are a few administrative details. Is J'orn plugged in and receiving what we say?*

"Yes, J'im, I am."

*What about Spock's and Scotty's companions?*

He got affirmatives from each.

*Are these proceedings being recorded? I would like complete, translated copies available for each race.*

*We can do that, Captain.*

*All right then. Let's begin with introductions. For the record, each of you please give your number and any other name designation or pertinent identifying information. I am 46529, also known as Captain James T. Kirk. The race I am representing know me as Jim. My companion is 49107, known among us as J'orn. He is here to serve as a witness to these proceedings. He will assure his people as to the accuracy of the transcript of what we say.*

Each of the others introduced themselves in turn. Then Kirk got down to business. Ascertaining that no one objected to his going first, he outlined the demands his race had come up with.

1) Eliminate Speaker's job. Communication would be audible, or in writing. No one to be forced to communicate via tentacles.

2) Eliminate hazardous or life-threatening jobs by automation and other technological changes.

3) No one to be taken without consent from home planet and forced into slave labor. Labor force to be paid a mutually agreed upon wage for services rendered.

4) While workers away from home planet, food, clothing, housing, and other necessities to be provided without charge.

5) Paid vacation on home planet to be provided annually, length thereof to increase with length of service.

6) Means to allow for written communication between workers and home planet at least monthly.

7) Workers with supervisor positions and/or service length greater than five years to be allowed to bring families; housing, food, and clothing expenses paid.

8) In restitution for killing and slavery, Watchers to provide humanitarian aid to home planets, of a mutually agreed upon type and amount.

xxxx

Sulu's and Uhura's races had lists similar to Kirk's. Scotty's and Chekov's hadn't got past: 'no more slavery,' and 'they must pay.' McCoy hadn't even got that far. Spock presented his report last.

*My people demand the deaths of all Watchers who were responsible for killing their people.*

*Who do they consider responsible?* Kirk wanted to know.

*All those with direct contact, as well as those who gave the orders.*

*That's over twenty people!*

*They have killed thousands.*

*They were just following orders. They didn't know any better.*

*Ignorance has never been an acceptable excuse.*

*Killing Watchers won't bring back those who've died.*

*They know that. Justice must be done.*

*What about forgiveness? Have you talked about that?*

*I believe they understand the concept.*

*But all they're interested in is revenge. Spock, it's just not the right thing to do, and you know it.*

*My personal opinion in this matter is irrelevant.*

*I suppose you think I should stay out of it, too. Let them kill each other off. Well, I'm not going to. No more killing, and that's final. So find out what else they might be willing to negotiate for.*

*As it happens, I already have.*

Kirk smiled; Spock knew what his reaction to killing would be.

*They wish to propose a test. If you survive it, they will do whatever you wish, no matter what that might be. If you do not survive it, they would be transported back to their planet, never to have any interaction with Watchers again. If you refuse to attempt it, they would be allowed to execute one Watcher, after which they would be willing to negotiate a work contract.*

*What's the test?*

*The test contains three parts; you would have to consent to all three. The test will last for 24 hours. During the first eight hours, you would submit to punishment administered by my people. Said punishment to be continuous application of 50 wands simultaneously, all at full strength.*

*Are the wands of your race just like ours?*

*I do not know.*

First interrupted, *The wands are of different strengths. Captain, yours are the strongest. Those from Spock's race are weaker, but they are adjustable.*

*Okay, what's the rest of it?*

*The second eight hours consists of non-stop attack by Watchers, including the application of tentacles to every available surface area of the body, coupled with being tossed around irregularly, but never coming in contact with the floor. This attack would be performed by the 140 Watchers who make up the slave-watching group.*

*Sounds like fun. What else?*

*In the third part of the test, you would submit to an attack by me.*

*You, Spock? Surely they don't expect you to try to kill me.*

*This attack would be mental. You would allow me to invade your mind, take over control of your body and your soul, and keep that control for eight hours. During that time, you would have no awareness of self apart from me.*

*Sounds interesting. I presume you could do such a thing, or you wouldn't be suggesting it. But Spock, the whole test is ridiculous. There's nothing life-threatening about any of it.*

*You cannot be certain of that. And I must tell you that I have not done this before, not for eight hours. In any event, I do not believe their purpose is to kill you, but to find out the extent of your commitment to forbid killing. How much are you willing to suffer to uphold that commitment?*

*You know the answer to that, Spock.*

*I do. And that demonstration with the whip had them more than half convinced.*

*They think this test is harder than that was?*

*This addresses the things which they fear.*

*They are afraid you will attack them?*

*A loss of identity is one of the side effects of the Speaker's job. Since it does not affect you that way, I devised an alternate method.*

*Okay, I'll take the test. But I've a couple of problems. Right now, I'm covered in bandages. The wands lose their effectiveness when not in contact with bare skin. If we take the bandages off, the wands would be a bloody mess, if they'd even work at all. So I'd like to put off that part of the test for several days.*

*All three parts of the test must be administered within one 24-hour period. The cumulative effects are part of the test.*

*Okay. You'll have to decide then whether now is more important than without bandages. My second problem is the time frame. 24 hours is a long time for negotiations to be at a stand-still, especially now, since we've hardly got started. Can we do the three parts simultaneously, so it would only take eight hours?*

Kirk heard an unintelligible noise, which he thought contained a mixture of laughter and disbelief. Spock explained.

*My colleague is having trouble containing his emotions. I told him you would make that suggestion. He did not believe me. Unfortunately, it is not practical logistically. If you will excuse me for a few minutes, I will consult with my people regarding a delay of several days.*

He was back in less than five minutes.

*They agreed to a three-day delay, when I told them that the skin was likely to be even more sensitive than it would have been had there been no injury. However, they will not participate in negotiations until the test is complete.*

*Understood. Thank you, Spock. First, can your people survive without their services for three days?*

*Possibly. But they distribute food to all the slave units as well.*

*Oh. J'orn, go ask the cook how many days back-up food supply we have.*

The answer was prompt. "One."

*Some of us wouldn't mind doing without for a couple of days, but the workers wouldn't be very happy. Spock, maybe we'd better reconsider.*

*One moment, Captain.*

He was back shortly.

*My people will return to work when the others do, on the strength of the Captain's word that he will take the test. Also, I have reminded them that if you pass the test, they will be in no position to negotiate. By requiring you to take this test, they are giving up such rights. Many of them still believe you will refuse. Such belief was heightened when I pointed out that any sound of protest or complaint during the test would constitute refusal.*

*Spock, don't you think that's a set-up?*

*I told them what you would do. They don't believe me. It is their decision to make you prove it.*

*All right, First, you have statements from everybody. You can have two hours to deliberate. We'll all stay here in the arena, in case you need to consult.*

Kirk checked in with J'orn first. He was fine, and agreed to report to their delegation. So Kirk made the rounds of each of the other races, greeting his people and getting introduced to their delegations. Those that hadn't made lists were busy discussing the ones that had been presented. The overall atmosphere was excited and optimistic.

Uhura wanted to make sure Kirk included removal of the surveillance equipment in the list of demands.

"Of course, I agree. I just didn't think of it. I personally don't care who sees and hears my every move. I guess the rest of my people have lived with it so long, it's just part of life. But I should have thought of it."

"Captain, you don't have to be perfect." She put one hand on her hip as if admonishing a child.

"Says who?" Smiling, he made a joke of it.

She laughed with him, then sobered. "Sometimes, we think Spock asks too much of you."

"You mean, that test he cooked up? He's dealing with people who want revenge. What would you have done?"

"Quietly but firmly told them they couldn't have it."

"He did. But he needed an alternative to offer."

"He didn't have to use you," she insisted.

Kirk shrugged. "Why not? There's nothing on that test I can't do. He knows it, and I know it."

McCoy was on his case about the test too.

"You and Spock couldn't have talked about that ahead of time, could you?"

"No. Why would we need to?"

"There was a time when he wouldn't have backed you into a corner like that."

"What corner?"

"You had to say 'yes'. He gave you no choice."

"How does knowing what I will choose constitute having no choice?"

McCoy had no answer.

Kirk talked to Spock last. He was standing with one of those he was representing. This race averaged one and a half meters tall, and were mostly covered in hair that was 20-30 cm long.

After the usual introductions, Spock's colleague had a question. "Captain, why do you not fear the test? I heard what you said, and there was no hint of anxiety in your reaction. Why not?" The eyes peeking through the hair were sharply inquisitive.

"I have lots of experience with both wands and Watchers."

"Not 50 at once! He urged us to make the test exceedingly difficult. He kept enlarging our perception of what was possible. Yet you don't seem to think it difficult at all. And the Watchers- I can hardly conceive of fighting one, let alone 140 of them!"

"I won't be fighting. I'll let them do whatever they want, and just enjoy the ride."

"You expect to enjoy it? That's crazy! And the last part of the test- how can you not fear the loss of yourself?" The man's diminutive hands were tightly clasped together.

"Because I trust Jesus Christ, I don't fear anything. And it's not courage- I'm really not afraid of it. I'm curious about what it will be like. And I trust Spock. Though even if something goes wrong, God is well able to heal any damage."

The man was still disbelieving, but Kirk turned to Spock with a question.

"Spock, Bones and the others trust you a lot. Why don't they trust you with me?"

"Why do you think they don't?"

"Because they're upset and angry with you about this test."

"Trust isn't the issue. They think I don't have the right to do what I have done to you. And they are correct." An infinitesimal pause preceded that quiet declaration.

"But why not? You have done me no wrong."

"I have wronged you on several occasions. You generally refuse to acknowledge it. That does not change the reality."

"But Spock, it's not that I'm refusing to admit it. I really don't see it. How have you wronged me?" Kirk was earnestly puzzled.

"Jim, just because I know what you can do, and what choices you will make, does not give me the right to take advantage of that knowledge."

Kirk tilted his head. "Do you mean I have never given you that right?"

"Not in so many words, no. But your response on other occasions has led me to make certain assumptions about your probable reaction." Spock's back was rigid.

Kirk was startled at this bit of Vulcanese.

"Spock, you don't like this any more than the rest of them do," he concluded.

"No, I do not."

"Spock, don't you dare feel guilty about this! You know I would've said 'yes', if you'd been able to ask me. Spock, right now, I give you the right to use me anytime, anyplace - no restrictions, no limits. Don't ever hesitate because you haven't asked me; just consider the answer to be 'yes'."

"Thank you, Jim. I give you the same right to use me."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Shortly after Kirk returned to J'orn, First left the Ring and approached him.

*Have you finished deliberations already?*

*No, not really. We wish to be allowed to consult with you, how do you say, 'off the record.' But we do not want to jeopardize your position, so we will understand if you think it unwise.*

*Would such consultation be useful if there were two witnesses, who understood the nature of the conversation?*

*That might depend on who the witnesses were.*

*I was thinking of J'orn and Spock.*

*How much does J'orn know?*

*Quite a lot, and I'll explain anything he doesn't understand.*

*Very well then.*

Kirk went to each race and obtained permission for this conference. Then he, J'orn and Spock stepped into the Ring and First connected. Kirk was aware of all seven of the Ruling Ring, but not J'orn or Spock.

*Spock, J'orn, can you hear me?*

"Yes, J'im." "Yes, Captain."

*First, what did you want to ask me?*

*All of the demands are more than reasonable. We are willing to negotiate any reasonable amounts for specifics. We have four problems. We want you and your people to accompany delegations to each race's planet. We want you to head up the restructuring of the workforce here. We are very impressed with your work in J'orn's unit. Third, we want you to retrain the 140 Watchers, who must unlearn what they have been taught.*

*I would be happy to help in any way I can, but surely you don't think I have the expertise to train your people.*

*2731 thinks you do. He said thirty minutes with you would cure anybody.*

Kirk laughed. *I can just imagine what he thinks I ought to do. All right. I'll commit eight hours a day for five days to the project, and we'll see. And I'd like to spend the first few hours with all 140 of them. Is there a place big enough that's wired for sound? I don't mind wearing a microphone. I just want to be able to talk to all of them at once.*

*You can use this arena. What about delegations to the seven planets?*

*What kind of time frame are we talking about? Do you have ships available?*

*We have the one ship. It's all we've ever needed. Travel time to each planet is a matter of minutes. A couple of them take almost an hour.*

*I would recommend you begin construction immediately of a second ship. You ought to have at least two anyway. This second ship would be primarily used for transporting workers. Make the accommodations luxurious, not spartan.*

*Meanwhile, outfit the holodeck with quarters for each delegation, perhaps two or three from each race. The seven of us can go too, to help set up relations, but the delegations should plan to stay awhile. It would be good if one or two of your people could stay too, as a gesture of good faith.*

*What else did you ask about? Oh, restructuring the workforce. I expect that to be a natural result of the negotiations. The work contract you draw up needs to include provisions for authority, work incentives, and disciplinary actions. What I did in J'orn's unit worked primarily because they gave me the authority to act. The same principles did not work in other units because we did not have the authority needed. And I have no idea what the situation is in other races.*

*Your race is possibly the most inefficiently run. But others are not a whole lot better. None of your colleagues attempted the massive reforms that you did.*

*That reminds me: I'm going to want a daily briefing with the seven of us. It would be good to broadcast it to the whole planet, so everybody knows what we talked about. But our translators won't work, because we'll all be speaking Standard. Can you provide a simultaneous translation for each race?*

*Yes, provided you each continue to wear the microphones. You can hold your briefing here in the arena.*

*Great. Are we done then?*

*Almost. The fourth problem is that test of Spock's. I realize it is not a whipping, but apart from the physical brutality, it is essentially the same situation. I do not want you to suffer any more because of what my people have done. Let them kill me instead.*

*No. Killing you would not solve their problem. And it would deprive your people of the leadership they need at this crucial time of change. You brought me here to fix your problem. You're going to have to trust me to fix it my way. But if you want to punish yourself, consider this. You will suffer far more pain watching what they do to me than I will. Physical pain is as much a non-issue for me as it is for you. I am not angry with them, with Spock, or with you. And I won't be when the test is over either.*

xxxx

They gathered the others for the official meeting. It was short. First said they would acquiesce to all the demands. Kirk said they would return to work at the beginning of first shift. Each day's work would be contingent upon successful completion of the previous day's negotiations. Each session would begin at the start of first shift, and continue as long as necessary. Kirk hoped they wouldn't need more than four hours a day.

As soon as the meeting broke up, Kirk called a briefing for the seven of them.

"I'll keep this short. First is translating this for all seven races, so there shouldn't be any panic over the fact that we're talking like this. I want a similar meeting daily after each negotiating session. The purpose is to pool our resources to solve the problems that come up. For instance, one of the first things that needs doing is to find and disable all the surveillance equipment. Anyone have any thoughts about that?"

"First's people should be able to take care of that," Chekov volunteered.

"But better if they don't," Sulu objected. "Someone would wonder if they conveniently forgot one or two cameras."

"It should be possible to build a scanner that would find all such equipment." Spock steepled his fingers.

Scotty agreed. "Aye, that it should. Spock, if'n ye're not too busy on rest day..."

"I would be glad to assist you."

Kirk nodded. "Let me know how it goes. About the ID's, no one should have to wear one anymore. If they want to keep them as souvenirs, fine; otherwise, collect and destroy them. But keep your own. First needs us to wear microphones to be able to translate this meeting. Also, I've used mine as a means to request transport."

"Longer-term, we need a way to provide transporter technology to all the races," Spock observed.

"They'll have to conquer their fear of it," Chekov retorted.

McCoy snorted. "They have to conquer their fear of First's people."

"It's already better than when we got here, though." Uhura smiled.

"Thanks to your influence and example," Kirk said. "You all have done a great job! The delegations trust you. Now, is there anything else? What am I forgetting?"

"Except for taking care of yourself, you seem to have covered all the bases. How's your back?" McCoy asked.

"It's fine, but I can tell you don't believe me, so feel free to make a personal visit whenever you have time."

"I'll make time. Expect me within the hour."

xxxx

Kirk met briefly with the delegation from his race. They were pleased and had few questions. He sent them off with instructions to use the ID's to request transport. Then, he, J'orn, and the cook went home. J'rad had the unit held in the assembly hall. They were all excited, but had few questions. Kirk let the cook report, then J'orn, after which their only question was, now what?

"First shift starts in a little over an hour. This day's work will not be substantially different than before. The changes we make will be gradual. You may be frustrated that it's not happening fast enough. Take your complaints to the cook. He's your delegate, your official voice in the negotiation process.

"But one thing we can do now. From now on, no one needs to wear an ID. You can keep it if you want, but those who want to get rid of it, drop it on the table here as you leave, and we'll dispose of them. The cook, J'orn, and I will keep ours, because we need them to get to and from the arena."

He dismissed the unit, saying they would have their usual rest day meeting. Then he spoke briefly with J'rad and J'orn.

"The schedule for the day is this. Four hours or more in the negotiation session. Another one to two hours in briefing with my people. Two to three hours implementing what is negotiated. Eight hours training Watchers. That brings us to the beginning of third shift. I'd like a daily meeting with senior staff from this unit, then with J'rip, J'oso, and J'est, then with whoever else you think I need to see. Schedule the daily coaching session too, but choose carefully, because in another week, I'll probably not have time to do any more of those.

"Rest day will be more or less as usual. The next day will be similar to this one. Then I'll be unavailable for the next day. After that the schedule should be the same for a few days. Any questions?"

"How do we get in touch with J'oso and the others?" J'rad asked.

"Wait for them to show up here looking for me. Give the message to the first one you see. He'll pass it on to the others."

McCoy suddenly appeared.

"And this is my friendly physician, wanting to be sure I'm not dying. So if you'll excuse me?"

xxxx

The first negotiating session dealt with pay scales for the workers. After the first hour, Kirk's head was swimming, trying to deal with seven different currency conversions. Finally he asked Spock to convert everything into a standard medium of exchange. Thereafter, the discussion was confined to the standard unit, called a credit, and Spock provided the conversions on request.

The basic worker's pay was set at approximately double what the average worker earned on his home planet. Pay scales for five levels of supervisors were set at appropriately higher levels. Also the pay increased for each year of service, up to five years. If after five years, you were not a supervisor, you would get sent home. Pay also varied based on the job. Generally support staff earned less than line workers, who earned less than technical skilled workers.

Everyone would receive a performance review from their immediate supervisor every quarter. The annual review would take place just prior to the worker's vacation. A panel, comprised of the immediate supervisor, the supervisor's supervisor, and one other supervisor outside the chain of command, would determine the worker's status for the coming year: retained or discharged; promoted, transferred, or kept in the same job.

There was heated discussion concerning the transition to the new system. Many felt that the present workforce should enter the system with the benefit of their years of service. Kirk said 'no'. Years of experience would count when considering applications for supervisory positions, but everybody would enter the system at ground zero. Such was Kirk's influence that his opinion carried. He did concede two things. Anyone who didn't want to sign the work contract would be permitted to go home. Also, in order to avoid having everyone on vacation at once, this first year, vacations would be staggered throughout the year, based on how long a worker had already been here.

The last thing they talked about that first day was the choosing of supervisors. Prior status was no guarantee of supervisor status in the new system. Those desiring to be supervisors must submit an application, including work history, an essay on leadership, and three recommendations. Applications would be reviewed by the panel of delegates for each race. Personal interviews would be required for levels two through five, but not necessarily for line supervisors. Once chosen, a supervisor could be removed only at the end of his year of service.

Kirk kept the crew briefing short. He had two concerns. How fast could they handle the paperwork? And did they think the various delegations capable of handling the decisions about supervisors? Sulu pointed out that several provisions of the contract were not yet finalized, so it was too soon to be printing out contracts to sign. Chekov volunteered that his race could handle producing the paperwork, but Uhura would have to help with the translations. They estimated one or two days for the task.

Concerning the delegates, there was unanimous opinion that they would need help making good decisions about supervisors. Kirk acquiesced, but urged them to teach principles, rather than just do it for them.

"As fast as you can, wean them from relying on you and your wisdom. They must learn to do this for themselves. I'd like to have the contracts ready by mid-next-week, and decisions made about supervisory positions by the end of the week. Can we circulate application forms on rest day? Give them a day or two to get them turned in."

Kirk spent a couple of hours with J'orn and the delegates from his race. He talked about the qualities of a good leader. He talked about the process of choosing among the applications. He used himself, J'orn, and the cook as examples, and talked them through the process, emulating several different character problems. Lastly, he talked about the problem of not enough good applications.

"Better to do without that supervisor position, than to have a bad supervisor filling it. A good supervisor can fill two positions while he's training someone to fill the hole. Better to bring up someone from the ranks than to suffer the consequences of spreading fear, rebellion, and laziness."

xxxx

The 140 Watchers were scattered throughout the arena seating area. The arena floor was empty, but for Kirk and First. The delegates and Kirk's crew had all left. Kirk surveyed the Watchers, then turned to First.

"Are we wired for sound? Can you hear me? Can they?"

"Yes, on all counts. And we have issued individual voders for convenience." First's voice boomed from the speakers, much as it had the day Kirk met him in the Klingon arena.

Kirk turned to the crowd. "Would it take too long for you all to gather here in this center section? And which of you is the leader; the one who has never talked to a slave directly? Come down here and join us on the floor here, if you would please."

Kirk waited while they rearranged themselves. It was a moving kaleidoscope of color, as they popped in and out in front of him. Finally, they settled down, and one of them appeared on his left. Kirk noticed a small voder attached near the top of his core.

"I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Jim. And you are?"

"1167. But it is not true that I have never had direct contact with a slave. The one who was our leader did not survive the plague. I replaced him two years ago."

"I'm sorry for your loss. Did the plague decimate the ranks of the Watchers too?"

"No, not as badly. Because we were already isolated, only the top level of supervisors were hit. When we realized what was happening, we cut off all contact. The Watchers are the only ones who retain most of our original lifestyle and way of communicating."

"Have you not heard the Christian message then?"

"Yes, we have. First came to us and begged us to talk to him. I am leader, because no one else would risk it."

"Are you a Christian?"

"Yes, I am - healed and freed from fears."

"And the others?"

"Most are not. 2731 is an exception."

First interrupted. "He is the reason I assigned you to J'orn's unit. Even so, you almost died."

Kirk ignored the interruption and continued quizzing 1167. "Tell me, how are Watchers trained to ignore the emotions of their victims?"

"We were taken from our parents at a very young age. Told that being a Watcher was a high honor, our education was very selective. Only after I became leader did First show me how other people live. Most of the training consisted of living tapes of encounters between Watchers and slaves. When very young, we could only stand it for a few minutes. Every year, they increased the dosage. Minutes became hours, then days, finally weeks.

"The years of the hours were the worst. We were in agony for days after each tape. It got so we couldn't recover fast enough. The next tape session began before the agony of the previous one had worn off. By the time we'd graduated to the day-long tapes, we'd learned how to stay numb. There were those who didn't survive it, but we didn't talk about that.

"The final exam was a three-week-long tape. If you survived that without falling apart, you were ready for the real thing. Surprisingly, the real thing wasn't nearly so bad. They'd picked the worst tapes for the training sessions on purpose."

"Are there any Watchers-in-training right now?"

"No. We haven't trained any new Watchers since the plague."

"Not since we became Christians," First added.

"One more question. What would you say is the main reason that Watchers haven't become Christians?"

"Most of our race became Christians out of desperation. The Watchers aren't desperate."

Kirk turned to the crowd. "First asked me to take charge of your retraining. I agreed to do what I could. 2731 thought I should spend thirty minutes with each of you. I suspect he thinks I should let you attack me while I laugh at you. While I'm not entirely opposed to the idea, I'm not sure that's the best approach. You've all been seriously wounded. You need healing, if you are to live normal productive lives. In addition, you need some practical retraining of your minds, attitudes, and behavior patterns.

"Would all of you who are Christians come down here please?"

There were ten altogether, including 1167 and 2731. Kirk addressed the ten.

"You have all given your lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Have you all received freedom from fear and healing of wounds?"

A chorus of 'yes's.

"Then I want you to prove it to this audience by tossing me in the air for the next fifteen minutes. If you are truly free, you can do this with joy, because you know I think it's fun. I want to hear you laugh."

He walked among them, but no one moved to pick him up. In fact, they shrank from him. And no one spoke.

"2731, you know I like it. Why can't you do this?"

"I could do it because you tell me to, but not with joy. I am not free enough to laugh with you. The wounds are very deep."

"I would like to pray for each of you. Would you be more comfortable in a group, or one-on-one? And what about this audience of your colleagues?"

"Personally, I don't care who's watching," 2731 replied.

"What about you, 1167?" Kirk asked.

"You can wipe away all the years of agony?"

"Not me; Jesus can. I'm just the catalyst, a tool in His hands. Jesus can banish it all, and make you clean and whole. All you have to do is want Him to."

"Yes! I do!"

Kirk laid his hands on 1167 and prayed for him.

"Lord, I release Your healing power into 1167 right now. Wash him of all the hurt, the agony, those terrible memories. Banish all the evil out of his life."

Suddenly 1167 started shaking and trembling. He did not speak, but he moaned, a drawn-out, haunting wail. Then he wrapped Kirk in his arms and squeezed him rhythmically for several minutes. Just as suddenly, he released Kirk and stopped moaning and shaking.

"Do you know that life flows from you? I felt it as I squeezed you. I kept thinking I would squeeze you dry, but there was always more."

Kirk laughed. "The supply is inexhaustible. It's Jesus in me that you felt."

Kirk prayed next for 2731, then for each of the others. After that, they did toss him in the air. And they were having so much fun, Kirk let it go on almost thirty minutes. They seemed like little children. Throughout the fun, First had kept his distance, and just watched.

Kirk walked over to him. "First, why didn't you join us? Is such fun not allowed for one in your position?"

"No, it's not that, though it has been many years since I played with my children. No Watcher touches outsiders."

"Well, it's time that changed. Are they afraid of you, or you of them?"

"Probably both. They fear the plague; I fear their agony."

"Lord Jesus," Kirk prayed aloud. "Cast out their fears; give them Your courage, and Your joy." Turning back to First, he declared, "All the fear is gone. You need to act on that truth, regardless of your preconceptions."

First took a few tentative steps in the direction of the others. 1167 came right up to him, followed closely thereafter by 2731. Soon all ten were crowding in close. First was enveloped in an enormous group hug. Kirk was caught up in it, simply because of his proximity. It was a wild collection of arms going every which way.

There was no audible sound, but Kirk could see tentacles making contact everywhere he looked. They brushed against him repeatedly, and then quickly backed off, as if embarrassed at having made a mistake. But no one touched his head, and he decided not to press it. It was obvious what was going on anyway. He didn't need the auditory confirmation.

When the group finally broke up, Kirk addressed them again.

"Here's what I want to do now. Think of the one person that's closest to you that needs to hear this wonderful good news, and experience the freedom you now have. Now go and talk to that person about Jesus. Pray with them, and watch the Lord work His power. 1167, you stay here."

One by one, the nine popped out, taking nine of the audience with them. Kirk turned to 1167.

"When they come back for further instructions, send them to talk to someone else. And keep it up for the next two days. Then I want everybody back here for second shift, first day after rest day. Meanwhile, there must be some, say two to ten people, that you would consider difficult to reach. These are the ones you think least likely to respond positively to anything I have to say. Doesn't matter why, might be different reasons. You pick them out, and get them down on the floor here."

Kirk went over to First while 1167 deliberated.

*You don't have to stay and watch the rest of this.*

*But I'm going to. Your tactics are becoming quite familiar.*

*How can you know what I'm going to do? Even I don't know.*

*I don't. But I'm staying, and that's final.*

*Okay. Suit yourself.*

Kirk turned back to 1167. There were now twelve others with him.

"I know you said ten, but-"

"It's okay; that was just an estimate. So, would you introduce me?"

1167 gave the number of each, then told him that ten of them were antagonistic. The last two, however, were withdrawn. They had barely passed the final exam, and were almost useless as Watchers. Kirk tried to put his hands on them to pray for them, but neither would let him get that close.

"You will both return to your rooms and sleep for the next three days. You will wake refreshed, and willing to talk. I command the peace of the Lord to rest on you."

They popped out. 1167 sounded doubtful.

"They don't talk to anyone, not even me. How can you say they will talk to you?"

Kirk smiled. "Wait and see. The Lord is more powerful than fear. As for these others, perhaps 2731's idea would be best."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

He walked among them, touching an arm here and there, with no visible reaction. They stood stoically in silence. As he walked, he prayed.

_Lord, how can I reach these wounded ones with Your love? Tell me what to do. Show me the key._

"If you could have anything you wanted, right now, what would it be?"

No one answered him.

"Let me rephrase that." Kirk turned in a circle to include them all in his question. "Is there anything that might be within my power to give you, that you would like to have?"

At first, no one answered this either. Then Kirk heard a snort from the back.

"Huh! You'd never give me what I want!"

This seemed to open the floodgates of response, and others voiced opinions.

"I heard some crazy stories, but they couldn't be true!"

"Maybe he's a fool!"

"But he's not stupid, that's obvious."

"That other stuff was child's play!"

"How much do you think he could take?"

"Could, or would?"

"No slave can stand up to what I dish out!"

Kirk gathered that opinion was unanimous as to what they would like to do.

_Make no _deals, the Lord quietly directed._ Just give them what they want, no strings attached._

_Okay, Lord._

"You may attack me, right now, all ten of you at once, if you like. And keep it up as long as you want."

"Did you say what I think you said?!" sputtered one of those in front.

"You want to know what I can take, so find out." Kirk stepped closer.

"You're giving us permission?!"

"Yes. No restrictions, no limits. Do what you want."

First was exhibiting signs of distress.

"1167 and First will stay out of it. And there will be no negative consequences for you as a result. I do this freely, and without anger."

They were too driven by their need to ask why. As First and 1167 remained silent, they took that to be permission. So they attacked - suddenly and ferociously. Swept off his feet in a wave of violence, Kirk felt a viciousness about it that had been absent in his sessions with 2731. He rode the storm with his internal peace intact, and prayed for them.

After an hour or so, they suddenly dropped him. Not sure if it was an accident, he stood up and mildly inquired.

"Is that all?"

The response was a renewed outburst of violence. He understood that they were angry because he was not the least bit upset by anything they did. But their anger was silent. They said nothing, audibly or in his head. Kirk said nothing either, but continued to pray for them. At no time did they actually try to kill him. Their training was designed to frighten and cause pain, without serious injury.

Sometime during the third hour, they started wrapping him up and squeezing him. This tactic backfired, however, because any of them that tried it got such a dose of his peace that they broke off the attack in confusion. Finally it was down to just three of them. Kirk saw them link arms to coordinate their attack.

_Make it good_, he thought.

They tossed him in the air, grabbed his arms and legs and stretched him taut. The third one poised several tentacles within inches of his face. He merely smiled and waited. He was no more afraid of an attack on his face than anywhere else. But the tentacles didn't land; they continued to hover, blocking his vision. A barrage of hit and run attacks bombarded him on all sides. Kirk guessed they wanted him to fear it because he couldn't see it coming. It didn't work.

Suddenly they plastered his head with a collection of tentacles, including the ones that had been poised over his eyes. No one said a word while they continued to bombard him on all sides. They began to focus and intensify the attack in four areas: the hands, feet, belly, and back. Doubtless they were taking information from his mind. All at once, he had an idea. The attackers read that idea in his mind, and were so stunned, they broke their silence.

*What?! You can't be serious!*

*But I am. And why not? It makes perfect sense.*

*You can't be thinking and planning in the middle of all this!*

*'All this' doesn't require anywhere near my undivided attention.*

*But, you want something magnitudes worse?!*

*Yes. This is mildly interesting, but nothing approaching a challenge, and for eight hours, it would be just plain boring.*

They were speechless and so distracted, they abandoned the attack, withdrew from his mind, and dropped him. He picked himself up and walked calmly over to 1167. He was barefoot, having lost his sandals sometime during the previous four hours, and his tunic was plastered to his back, which was again bleeding profusely through the bandages. But he felt good. He still didn't have the key to reaching these guys, but he had the next step.

"1167, I would like you to assign these ten the task of planning that eight hour session with Spock's race coming up in three days. I want it to utilize all 140 of you, be something spectacular, thoroughly convincing, and if possible, a bit of a challenge for me. That last is not at all necessary, but I'd like it not to be so boring that I fall asleep.

"Let them study my file, especially the months I spent with the Klingons, and have them consult with 2731. Relieve them of other duties, so they'll have plenty of time to work on this. And they can skip our next training session here too.

"Speaking of which, our time is up for today." He addressed the crowd. "Thank you all for coming. I'll see you all again here in the arena after rest day, second shift. You're dismissed."

He watched them pop out, leaving only First and 1167. He knew First was unhappy with him. He went to retrieve his sandals, which were now visible half way down the arena floor. First followed him. He picked up the sandals, and turned to face First. 1167 had come too.

"Do you have questions? Are there other things we need to talk about?"

"I've been watching you get beat up in one way or another ever since you got here. I should be used to it by now, but I'm not. Your back is soaked in blood. Why do you do such things?!" First demanded.

"I did this because I need a way to reach these guys, some common ground from which to start. At the beginning, they wouldn't even talk to me. By the end, they would at least tell me they thought I was crazy. I'll try again after Spock's test, and we'll see."

"And the condition of your back is irrelevant?!"

"You can send Bones for damage control, if you want. And rest assured, he'll chew me out thoroughly. I've got to go; several hours of meetings in my unit. See ya."

xxxx

Kirk visited J'oso's unit on rest day. It was a very subdued group. In spite of Kirk's assurances that he held nothing against them, they would not lay aside their guilt. So he told them about Jesus and the concept of forgiveness. Then he called each of the principals to the front. He laid his hands on their shoulders, one by one, told them that he forgave them, and prayed for them.

Without exception, they broke down and wept in front of everybody, even J'oso. Then Kirk prayed for the entire unit. Many gave their lives to the Lord that day. After the weeping, there was much rejoicing. Kirk spent three hours with them, and so was late for the rest of his meetings that day.

One such meeting was with J'ret. He came into the conference room, and Kirk offered him a chair, smiling encouragement. J'ret sat, but would not look up. Kirk prayed for wisdom.

"So, tell me about your talk with the Watchers."

"How can I?" J'ret's voice was little more than a whisper.

"Did you pass out?"

J'ret shook his head.

"Who did you talk to?"

"2731, and then 65, and later 2891."

"What did you talk about?"

"Some of it was talk, but most of it was-" He couldn't explain it.

Kirk helped him out. "They call it living history. Much more powerful than words. So what did they show you?"

"Lots of things. But sir, 65 asked me to give you a message. He wants to study your memory loss. He would like to schedule a conference with you, at your convenience."

Kirk chuckled. "There's not much to say about it, but I'll see what there might be time for. Thanks for passing on the message." He paused. "So how do you feel about Watchers now?"

"They're people. They don't see themselves as monsters. They're starting to see us as people too. They were very apologetic, especially 65. He wanted to know what I thought of you. He said you once made him promise to always treat you like a person. It was almost a year before he understood what you meant, but he's never forgotten."

J'ret looked at the floor for a moment before raising his bleak eyes to Kirk. "Sir, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, please do. As many questions as you have."

"_All_ my questions?" Kirk nodded encouragement. "I thought when you sent me to the Watchers for 24 hours that you were trying to kill me. No one could survive that. I still don't understand why I didn't die, and when I realized I would have to face you, I wished I _had_ died. So, were you trying to kill me? Why didn't it work? And what will you do with me now?"

"No, I was not trying to kill you. I was trying to give you a different view of reality. What I do with you now depends on how well you learned that different view."

"But why don't you want to kill me? I betrayed you." J'ret was genuinely confused.

"You made a mistake. Have you learned something?"

J'ret didn't answer the question. He was stuck on the one thought. "That whipping was the most awful thing I've ever seen. Why don't you hate me?"

"It was supposed to be awful. I planned it that way," Kirk stated matter-of-factly.

"With every lash, I heard a voice saying, 'this is your fault.' But the Watchers seemed to think it was their fault."

Kirk sighed. "No one is to blame for the condition of my back except me. The decision was mine, and I knew exactly what I was doing. However, I will concede that had you not made the mistake you did, I would have had no opportunity to make such a decision. I want you to know that I forgive you for what you did. I do not harbor anything against you. Can you believe me?"

"But why not?"

"Because of the love of Jesus Christ."

Kirk shared with J'ret for another hour, with middling success. J'ret was still the walking wounded. Kirk wasn't sure what to do with him. So he gave him three days off to think about what he'd said. Told him to use Kirk's personal quarters. He scheduled a follow-up session in three days. Later, he asked J'rad to check on J'ret periodically.

xxxx

The negotiating session the next morning focused on methods of obtaining quality work. A disciplinary system based on fear of punishment was very popular. Most knew no other way. Kirk insisted that a system of positive incentives worked better. After considerable persuasion, they agreed to try it, but held onto a punishment system as a backup. Kirk acquiesced when they agreed to certain restrictions on the use thereof.

The second training session with Watchers was again attended by First. Kirk discovered that revival had broken out among the Watchers. 1167 reported that 50 of them had become Christians in the past two days. Kirk talked to all of them for several hours about what the abolition of slavery would mean for them personally. Then he talked for a couple of hours to the new Christians. He covered basic Christian doctrine and practical wisdom for their new relationship with the Lord. When he opened it up for questions, someone brought up a problem.

"Sir, Captain, I don't know if this is a question, but," he paused, "I don't want to do that test-thing tomorrow. Now that I'm free of all that, I don't want to have anything to do with it any more."

Someone else volunteered, "I've talked to the ones planning it, and it's going to be awful, just unbearable! I don't want to do it either."

After several others echoed them, Kirk got the message that most of them dreaded the test.

"Okay, I can understand how you feel, but there are certain things about this you need to understand. This is not going to be like what you've been doing. It's not torturing a slave for the purpose of instilling fear in other slaves. The reason we're doing this is to secure the cooperation of the race that Spock represents. I want you to do this. If you refuse, then Spock will have to negotiate for something else. And it's entirely possible that his people will think I undermined your willingness in order to get out of having to take the test. It's not true, but there's no way to prove it.

"Secondly, it will be awful, yes. I told them to make it as awful as possible. But it will not be unbearable. There is a maximum the body can tolerate without passing out. But the term unbearable implies an emotional content - a point at which I would refuse to accept any more. Trust me on this. You can't get there in eight hours. I have an intimate acquaintance with pain. I know whereof I speak.

"So, when we get into this tomorrow, you need to remember that I want you to be doing what you're doing. No matter how awful you think it is, it's not unbearable. There will be no fear and no anger. I guarantee it. Instead there will be peace and joy."

With that, he prayed for them, that God would protect their fragile souls from any injury, that they would experience His peace and joy, that together they would have a good time.

He spent the last couple of hours of second shift discussing with 1167 and First what new jobs the Watchers might be given, since the occupation of Watcher was being abolished. Some would become liaisons between the races, either there or on the home planet. Most however, would need jobs unrelated to what they had been doing. Most such jobs would require training. Some of the Watchers would simply retire. Kirk suggested ongoing communication among former Watchers to deal with any remaining side effects.

After several hours of meetings in his own unit, J'rad urged Kirk to sleep.

"Even you shouldn't go into that test tomorrow already exhausted. There's nothing else here that can't wait."

"If you're sure..."

"I am," J'rad insisted. "That test is going to be broadcast live to the whole planet. The assembly hall will be full of off-duty personnel."

"Do we have any attitude problems to deal with?" Kirk asked.

"You mean like the whipping? No, I don't think so. They've all seen what you can do. They _want_ you to win. They're not too sure what Spock's going to do to you, but-"

"Neither am I, but I trust him. Don't worry, I'll be fine. And J'rad, thanks for all your support."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

When Kirk arrived at the arena in the morning, Spock and a collection of his race were already there. So was First; so was McCoy. The seating area was filled with spectators from Spock's race.

"Good morning, gentlemen. I take it the first order of business is removal of bandages."

He quickly shed tunic, pants, and sandals, and turned his backside to McCoy. Working efficiently, the doctor had the bandages off in moments.

"Well, Jim, I won't say it looks as good as new, but it looks better than you have any right to expect. And I'm warning you: Spock was right when he told them freshly healed wounds hurt worse."

"I know, Bones. Stop worrying; I'll be fine."

Kirk turned to face Spock.

"Is your race bothered by my lack of clothes? The wands work much better on bare skin."

"Uhura is the only one on this planet likely to be embarrassed, and I daresay she has seen an unclothed human male before," Spock replied without the slightest hint of humor.

Kirk smiled anyway. "Fine, then, I'll leave the clothes off, with apologies to Uhura. What do you want me to do now?"

"Captain, I reiterate that there must be absolutely no protest or complaint, no indication - either visual or auditory - of any response other than complete and total acceptance. Also, I must inform you that the 50 wands we have here today have all been set at the maximum output your race uses. Do you still consent to take this test?"

"Yes, I do." Had they been alone, the question and its answer would have been unnecessary. But then, this whole show was for the benefit of Spock's race.

"Very well then. For the record, have you encountered 50 wands before?"

"No, the most I've had is 20, and I gasped. So I'm asking for the miraculous, and I'll get it. God doesn't want First to die any more than I do."

"Indeed," Spock agreed. "Please kneel and put your hands on your head."

Kirk observed that he was now at eye level to those who approached him. He smiled at their caution.

"Please come. Don't be afraid. I want you to do this. I am not angry, nor afraid. I accept what you do to me, with joy in my heart. My response will be no different after hours upon hours of agony. Spock knows that. But I understand that the only way for you to know it is to see it for yourselves."

Encouraged by Kirk's quiet voice, they began. But it was not an organized onslaught as J'oso had done. They touched him two or three at a time, until within a few minutes all 25 of them were engaged. But Kirk's attention had been focused on them, not himself. Thus he wasn't entirely certain of his reaction to the pain.

"Spock, they didn't start all at once. I wasn't paying attention. I don't know if there was any reaction."

"One moment, Captain." He turned to an observer and consulted briefly. "There was no reaction, Captain. However, they wish to know if you would permit them to start over, so as to begin all at once."

"Sure. But somebody better be drill sergeant, or the second time won't be any better than the first." The whole situation was becoming a little ludicrous, but Kirk's suggestion was more than half-serious.

"My apologies, Captain. They are not used to this activity."

"So I gathered. Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"Perhaps you can close your eyes, so you won't know when to expect them. And refrain from speaking. They must be able to do this without encouragement from you."

So Kirk closed his eyes and waited, praying for these diminutive colleagues of Spock's. He heard someone speaking, but since they were not speaking to him, his translator didn't work. The pain arrived suddenly, overwhelmingly. He held his breath for half a second while he willed his body to accept this. He was sure Spock heard it, but the observers raised no objection.

Several times during the next hour, they suddenly stopped. A few minutes later they resumed, just as suddenly. Kirk guessed Spock was orchestrating this, but he didn't hear any of their whispered consultations. He remained silent, eyes closed, a slight smile on his face. And after that first slight pause in his breathing, he handled the rest with no reaction whatsoever. Praise the Lord!

"Captain, without opening your eyes, moving slowly, change your position to that of lying spread-eagled on the floor, face down. I want to know if they can maintain contact while you do that."

They could. But all 50 were now concentrated on his backside, raising the agony to a new level. He found his muscles wanting to twitch.

_Jesus! I need you. Body, I command you in the name of Jesus to relax!_

It did. For a few minutes, Kirk basked in the peace of Jesus. But every time they stopped and started again, he had to re-engage the fight to relax. He didn't understand why it should be so difficult, but he knew better than to get distracted with asking why. He prayed fervently through most of the next hour and a half.

Then Spock told him to turn over. _This will be easier,_ he thought. It wasn't. Something about the position made him feel vulnerable. So while the pain was perhaps not quite so bad, emotionally, it was worse. _At this rate, it's going to be a long day,_ he thought. And he began estimating the hours. _What am I doing,_ he stopped himself. _What's wrong with me? It's as if I've forgotten everything I know about how to do this._

_Jesus, I don't know what's wrong, but I'm asking you to fix it. I trust You for the outcome of this day. First's life is in Your hands. I am a willing tool. Do as You wish in me and through me._

As they stopped and started once more, Kirk realized that his struggle was all internal. Outwardly, he was completely open; he just didn't feel open. And staying relaxed was an ongoing battle. So far, he was winning, and that felt like a miracle. _Thank you, Lord._

"Captain, I want you to let your body do what it wants to." Spock interrupted his thoughts.

"My body, or my emotions?"

"Your body, but no sound, and no facial expression."

So Kirk let his body twitch, jerk, and shake. They stopped and started, and his back arched in a spasm of tension. It collapsed into uncontrolled shaking. But he maintained the spread-eagled position, and never clenched his fists.

Finally Spock spoke. "I wanted them to see what this is costing you. Now you must return to complete relaxation, on the count of three. One, two, three."

And Kirk again lay completely still, open and relaxed. _Thank you, Lord._

"I am curious, Captain. What do your emotions wish to do?"

"Curl up in a ball."

"Do it," Spock quietly ordered.

Kirk's reply was equally quiet and devoid of emotion. "No."

"Why not?" There was a hint of curiosity in Spock's question.

"It violates the requirements of the test," Kirk calmly explained.

"Not if I tell you to," Spock objected.

"Okay, but only because you tell me to, not because my emotions want to."

"Understood."

Kirk curled into a tight fetal position and lay on his side. That exposed his back to the wands, but he didn't care. However, as soon as he changed into that position, they stopped. Kirk took a deep breath. He had a pretty good idea what was coming, and Spock's next words confirmed it.

"Now open yourself to receive the pain."

Kirk slowly returned to his former position, spread-eagled on his back. The pain hit him like a tidal wave. Forcing his body to receive it openly was a real challenge. Spock repeated the scenario half a dozen times in different variations. It never got easy. But Kirk was no longer asking why it was difficult. He just focused on the present and continued to pray.

"Captain, stand up, slowly, keeping your eyes closed. Extend your arms to the sides. Now pick up your right foot, and balance on your left."

That didn't sound too difficult, except that Spock left him in that position for 15 minutes. Then he switched him to the other foot. It was a wonder he didn't fall over. He managed to retain his balance by holding himself very still, barely breathing, and praying for strength. He hardly noticed the wands.

"Now put both feet on the floor. Turn 45 degrees to your left and take eight steps forward."

With similar directions, Spock marched him all over the arena floor. He wasn't worried about running into anything, but he was careful to move slowly enough not to lose the wands. Finally Spock stopped him.

"Lower your arms, and open your eyes."

Spock was standing directly in front of him. The wands had all moved to his backside.

"Mirror me."

And Spock started to move, first one hand, then both. Kirk copied every move, all in slow motion. When Spock began moving feet too, it became a dance. Kirk was so absorbed in this new activity that he had no awareness of the wands at all. Until Spock stopped.

"Close your eyes."

Kirk heard Spock step away from him.

"Fall forward."

Spock caught him and eased him to the floor. His awareness of the pain returned suddenly. But his body obeyed orders and relaxed completely. Even stopping and starting was not as difficult as before. This was becoming familiar territory. When Spock had him turn over, he discovered it was no longer emotionally difficult either. _Thank you, Lord!_

"Stand up. Allow them to lead you with the wands."

To sense directional cues from the wands, he would have to focus on the pain, rather than ignore it. At first, he sensed nothing he could identify as a directional message. Then he felt an increased pressure on the back of his legs, which he interpreted to mean, start walking. Shortly thereafter, pressure on his arms suggested he should extend his arms in front of him. They began stroking his palms, so he turned them face up. He deduced that the direction of the stroking indicated the direction they wanted him to walk. Finally they rested the wands in his palms, so he stopped. They added what seemed like ten more wands to each hand, making the agony intensely focused. He did not move. Abruptly they stopped.

"Open your eyes."

In front of Kirk stood an apparatus, a metal framework of some kind.

"This frame has been altered to fit you. It is what they use to administer discipline. The hands and feet are immobilized; all wands will be concentrated in these areas. There are three hours remaining. Do you refuse the discipline cage?"

"Of course not. But I don't know how to get into it. What goes where?"

"They will assist you. But Captain, once in, there will be no relief until time is up."

"Understood."

Their hands were gentle, their manner tentative. Kirk smiled encouragement. They directed him to the platform, where he stuck his feet through the holes provided. They secured his ankles, then turned the cage 90 degrees, so that he was lying on his back. Removing the surface he'd been standing on left his feet dangling in mid-air. They proceeded to position 13 wands for each foot, such that they made contact when the foot was extended in a relaxed position, but not when the foot was flexed. So the term immobile was not quite accurate.

Then they turned their attention to his hands. Securing his wrists, with forearms comfortably bent, they attached strings to each finger, holding the hand open. There was one wand for each fingertip, and seven for each palm. He curiously watched them work. Their hands were smaller than his, very quick and agile. Gentle, too. It was this quality of gentleness that had attracted Spock to this race to begin with. Only their woundedness had driven them to demand justice. Kirk's heart went out to them.

The pain when they turned on the wands brought him suddenly back to the present. It was intensely awful. Worse than what had gone before, his hands and feet were on fire. He couldn't move the hands, and he wouldn't move the feet. _I accept the pain_, he thought. _I will accept all of it. Jesus, give me Your supernatural grace to endure this with joy._

Spock hadn't said to close his eyes, so he looked beyond the cage. Spock was not within his field of view, but dozens of observers stared at him intently. He smiled, just barely restraining himself from open laughter. He didn't want to offend them. They held whispered consultation, took several steps closer, and whispered some more. He felt like a specimen on display.

_Lord, give me a chance to connect with these people. Show them I'm a person, not some alien superman._

One of them came much closer, right up to the cage. Kirk thought it might be the same one he'd been introduced to before, whom he'd mentally dubbed Leader 1.

"He said you wouldn't move the feet. For our people, there is a frame that holds the foot in place, but it wouldn't fit your foot. He said it didn't matter, that you would leave the feet where we put them. How can you? When we have someone in the cage, they get one wand alternated between locations. Spock engineered the frame to hold them in place, and wired the switch to turn them all on at once."

Kirk smiled. "I'm not surprised. Spock does good work."

"How can you stand it?" Leader 1 asked.

"This test isn't about what you could do; it's about what I can do. Spock knows me very well. He managed to make it difficult without being impossible."

"It is difficult? It doesn't look it."

"That's part of the test. All you're supposed to see is complete and total acceptance, not what I have to do to get there."

"And that is?" Leader 1 was definitely curious.

"Some of it's been easy, some of it a constant battle. When my body refuses to obey orders, I ask Jesus for help."

"What about now?"

"The pain is intense, but it's a stationary constant. Not quite unbearable. You'd have to add a hundred wands to my back to put me over the top."

"No." Leader 1 looked startled and appalled both, took a step back, and stared at a point over Kirk's head. "No. He cannot be suggesting such a thing." He turned back to Kirk. "Are you?"

"I was just making conversation, but are you telling me you could do that?"

"He said we would wait until you suggested it. He seemed sure you would."

Kirk chuckled. "I probably would have. Three hours with no change is long enough for me to get bored. But I don't want to jeopardize the test results. It's not worth risking First's life."

"He said you would say that. How does he know what you will think? And another thing - you seem to know that he planned the whole test, yet you're not angry. Or are you?"

"No, I'm not. Spock has known me for a very long time. He knows how I think, how I react. I knew from the time he brought it up, that this whole thing was his idea. The purpose is to show you the depths of my commitment. If the test was easy, that wouldn't tell you very much. So it makes sense that he would make the test as difficult as possible. And he knows me well enough to tread the fine line between almost impossibly difficult, and actually impossible to do. But the fact is, we're not there yet. So has he got something else up his sleeve that he's not telling me about?"

Kirk grinned in amusement. The man again looked at a point over Kirk's head. Spock must be standing there listening to this whole conversation.

"Do I tell him?" Leader 1 asked.

"He needs neither explanation nor warning," Spock replied.

The man reached to press a button Kirk could not see. Immediately the pains began alternating location in a random pattern. Kirk's spontaneous response was laughter, but he quickly sobered.

"Please don't be offended. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with Spock. And yes, it's definitely more difficult this way."

"It doesn't look any different." Leader 1 seemed almost frustrated.

"Would you like to see what this feels like? I could show it to you on my face. But only if it won't violate the requirements of the test. Does total acceptance prohibit any sign of pain?"

The man went to consult with his colleagues. They called Spock over and consulted with him too. Finally he and Spock came back.

"We wish to see your pain. Spock assures us that you can do that without in any way undermining your acceptance of it. So you will please follow his instructions."

"Captain, at no time will you move the feet. Your body will remain relaxed and completely motionless, except for your face. Your breathing will remain calm, and you will make no sound. Focus your entire attention on the pain. Concentrate your response to it onto your face. Starting with your eyes, show them the pain you feel."

It took several minutes for the intensity to build to match the reality. It required considerably more energy, and all his attention to accomplish the task, but Spock kept him at it for over an hour.

"Captain, return your face to its former composure, your eyes to peacefulness."

It took less than a minute to wipe the face of all sign of pain. Kirk turned his attention again to the one who had been watching him closely.

"Well? Are you satisfied with what you saw? Do you have questions?"

"I had thought your lack of response was because you are not as sensitive as we are. I was wrong. What you just showed me was terrible. I cannot comprehend accepting this the way you are. Enduring it at all is a very remote possibility. I do not understand you. What's more, I do not understand your relationship with Spock. What he has done to you should make you bitter enemies."

This was a crucial point; Kirk answered carefully. "Spock will never be my enemy. I trust him with my life, my body, my soul. The present circumstances I understood and accepted in advance. But even had it been a complete surprise, and I had no idea the reason, I would still have accepted freely what he has done to me. Spock is that utterly trustworthy."

Leader 1 glanced at Spock before returning his gaze to Kirk. He didn't seem convinced.

Kirk didn't try to explain his relationship with Spock any further, but went on to the larger issue. "But even had it been the work of complete strangers, for no good reason, with malice intended, or even with complete disregard for me as a person, there is that within me that can love and refuse to hate as a result of such an attack. Some of the 140 Watchers who will be here second shift hate me passionately. They are upset with the changes I am making to their world. I love them and will continue to love them all the way through what they do to me. The source of that love is Jesus Christ. Has Spock introduced you to Him?"

"He tried," Leader 1 admitted. "We understand that sin must be paid for. Much of the rest of it is too foreign to our thinking."

"Sin has already been paid for. You must only decide whether you will receive that payment. The price has been paid. Will you accept it and enter into the fellowship with God that Jesus paid for? If you do, He will put a love in your heart that will conquer all hate and bitterness." Kirk gazed intently at Leader 1, willing him to get this concept.

"You are saying that it's because of Jesus that you don't hate Spock?"

"Absolutely."

"And it's because of Jesus that you can accept this?" Leader 1 gestured at the cage.

"Yes, though my body's tolerance for pain was built up over time."

"And it's because of Jesus that you don't hate Watchers?"

"Yes, definitely."

"You almost have me convinced. But the day is not over. Our hatred of Watchers is deeply ingrained, and it is based in large part on what we have seen them do to our people. The loss of identity is a very frightening thing."

"The love of Jesus casts out all fear, and I mean all of it."

"I have yet to see you prove it." Leader 1 made no apology for his disbelief.

"Is there anything else about this morning's activity that you would like to see proved? We must be almost out of time."

"You said earlier that Spock could make it almost impossible, but that it wasn't yet. Is it now?"

"No. Spock, maybe you better bring on the extra hundred wands. I think he needs to see me fall apart."

The man darted a look at Spock, then pressed a button. Immediately the mesh framework Kirk was lying on became burning hot. He had a mental image of a crisscross of burn marks on his back, but he smelled no charred flesh. Trust Spock to have transferred the wand technology to a new application. All this went through his mind in the first half second. He took a deep breath and opened the eyes he'd involuntarily closed.

"You're getting close."

He spoke slowly, through a haze of pain. His body made no attempt to fight or avoid the pain. He did not see the man hit another switch, after getting a nod from Spock. He was dimly aware that the pain was increasing, but he lost consciousness before he could say anything about it.

"Spock, he is unconscious."

"Turn off the back grid. Leave the 50 wands running. He will wake in a few minutes, and we will do it again."

They repeated the sequence half a dozen times. Kirk lost consciousness at higher and higher level settings. He said little, but his body's response to the pain never changed. When they finally turned it all off, Kirk recovered quickly.

"Any questions?" he asked, as they extracted him from the cage.

"Is losing consciousness what you consider falling apart?"

"Not really. But I'm not very surprised that's all that happened. Falling apart usually involves screaming, gasping, writhing in agony, and other out-of-control behavior. Things generally have to be really bad for a very long time before I start doing such things."

"How long is very long?"

"Probably days." He turned to Spock. "My congratulations, Spock. A most interesting morning."

"Thank you, Captain. You know where I learned it."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"So now what? Watchers should be arriving. How are you going to show the observers my reaction to this?"

"They will have you plugged in during the entire test. First will broadcast it live to the entire planet, no editing. I do not know how they will translate it into a visual image. For you, it will be so much more than visual. I am intrigued with the possibilities."

Kirk chuckled. "Have a good time. I'll see you later."

Suddenly Kirk was alone in the center of the arena. Even First had disappeared. Then the artificial lights cut out, leaving the arena in total darkness. A single spot came on, illuminating Kirk, who had neither moved nor panicked. Directly behind him appeared one Watcher who immediately clamped four tentacles on his head. Four more grabbed his wrists and ankles, and hoisted him aloft, turning him horizontal with his back to the Watcher below him.

Spock sat in the front row of observers. He expected to remain ignorant of Jim's condition for the next eight hours. To his surprise, the observer on his left appointed himself data-feed, and began chattering to Spock, giving a running commentary on all that he saw. Of primary interest was the small monitor in front of them. The screen was divided into several sections: top center was a picture of what Kirk saw; below it, a close-up of Kirk's face. Captions gave a transcription of what he said.

On the left side of the screen there were two graphical displays: one showed the amount of pain he was receiving, as measured in number of needlepoints of contact. The second graph showed his perception of that pain. The first registered at just over ten on a scale that exceeded 100. The second showed an initial spike, but now registered just over two. The graph on the right side of the screen showed his emotional condition. Rather than a numerical scale, emotions were indicated by various colors: reds and oranges for anger, blues and greens for peace. Yellow meant pleasure; brown, depression.

Kirk was talking. *It's good to see you, 2731. We haven't had much time for fun and games lately.*

*You think this is going to be fun?*

*You put on a good show. I'm sure it won't be boring.*

*Jim, I volunteered for this spot, because most of them don't want to get this close to you. But some of what I have to do to you is definitely not fun.*

*Don't worry about it. You'd be surprised what I can laugh at.*

Suddenly Kirk thought they lost all gravity. The next moment the ceiling far above him was covered with Watchers. The kaleidoscope of color held his rapt attention.

*It's beautiful!*

2731 raked his already super-sensitive back with the rest of his tentacles. He was dimly aware of it, but was not distracted.

*It's magnificent! Such a gorgeous array of colors! Don't you think it's beautiful?*

*Don't you think what I'm doing to you deserves any attention at all?*

*No, not unless I have to. I told you to stop worrying about it. Just do what you must. I'll be fine.*

The view overhead was constantly changing. It appeared to Kirk that they were coming closer. Suddenly several of them swooped down on him like a tornado, wrenching him from 2731's grasp. Only 2731 clung to his head, wrapping an arm around his neck to secure his hold. During all of what followed, 2731 was a constant presence. And he continued to rake Kirk's back at every opportunity.

They tossed him all over the arena. Most of the time, he saw nothing except the moving kaleidoscope of colors. Since they'd turned off the gravity, the concepts of up and down did not exist. After a while they formed a sphere completely surrounding him. As they tossed him from side to side, a new Watcher attached himself to the growing ball each time they landed. Until Kirk was completely covered in the needlepoints of tentacles.

Those watching from the audience saw only an enormous ball of Watchers, undulating back and forth. The screen gave them a little more idea of what was going on. It showed the number of needlepoints well over 100. But Kirk's perception registered at 60.

"Spock, why the difference?" his 'data-feed' colleague questioned.

"There are a number of techniques. He does them without thinking. His focus is on the game they are playing."

Suddenly the ball fell apart, leaving Kirk and 2731 alone in mid-air. The Watchers regrouped below, forming a huge gaping maw of tentacles. Kirk laughed at the sight.

*Let them eat you,* instructed 2731.

*Head first, or feet first?* Kirk asked.

*Feet.*

So Kirk pushed off 2731, did a half-turn in the air, and landed feet first in the mass of needlepoints. They chewed on him for a while, and then spit him out. Several repetitions of that scene followed with variations.

Then 2731 took him down to one end of the arena, and the Watchers took up station in a long line, or several lines actually. Kirk's mind generated an image of running a gauntlet.

*Swim to the other end,* were 2731's instructions.

*How fast?*

*Take as long as you like.*

So Kirk dragged it out for a half hour, as he lazily made his way through the mass of needles. When he finally came out the other end, he turned around and saw the entire group of Watchers gathered on the floor of the arena. They took up all the floor space. Each of them had raised all 14 tentacles to point the ends upward.

2731 lifted him up and placed his feet on two of the upraised tentacles. They covered his entire foot in needles.

*Walk on each and every tentacle.*

As he lifted his foot, the suction action of the needles sent shooting pains up his leg. Same result with the second foot. What's more, those he'd already stepped on attacked his back, belly or hands. They stayed away from his face, at which he was privately amused. Gradually they again covered his entire body with needles.

He moved slowly, methodically covering the entire collection of tentacles. It took almost three hours. He let his awareness of the pain build, to the point where both graphs were registering at the top of the scale. He couldn't really be seen through the mass of needlepoints, but his motion of picking each foot up and placing it in the next tentacle was apparent. Every time he did that, the graphs quivered, unable to register more pain. But the emotion scale stubbornly stuck to green.

The audience grew very still as they read the screen and understood what they were seeing. Only Spock knew, however, that Kirk had turned up his perception of the pain on purpose. Up to that point, he'd been essentially playing and had forgotten the purpose of all this.

The last thing they did to Kirk was stretch him spread-eagled in mid-air. In addition to being held by wrists, ankles, and neck, they inserted and removed each hand and foot repeatedly, sending pains up all four extremities at once. Concurrently, a succession of Watchers attacked, one in front and one behind. Each attack lasted about a minute, so it took over an hour for all the Watchers to get a turn.

When it was all over, they turned the gravity back on, Kirk and 2731 settled to the floor, the other Watchers departed, and First returned.

*Thanks for all your help, 2731. I know this wasn't easy for you.*

*It was easier when everybody else took over the attacking, and all I had to do was monitor.*

*How did you like getting thrown around?*

*Made me feel young again.*

*Great fun, isn't it? Well, here comes Spock, so I'd better go.*

*I've been asked to monitor this too.*

*Okay, so you're staying. This is going to be very interesting.*

*Not frightening?*

*Not at all. I've been looking forward to it.*

"Hello, Spock."

"Captain, you may wish to get dressed."

His colleague held out Kirk's clothes, which Kirk quickly put on.

"I must reiterate that this procedure is not entirely safe. I have done this once before, and there is little doubt that I can take control of your mind. But if something should happen to break the link with your body, it would die. I cannot return your mind to a dead body."

"I'll risk it. What do you want me to do?"

"The loss of identity is a fearsome thing for these people. When I take control of your mind, you will have no awareness of self apart from me. That idea brings no terror to your soul. That is partly because you expect me to give you back your identity. But you must face this knowing there is a possibility that I won't give it back."

Kirk was sure the only way that would happen would be accidentally. "Spock, if something happens, do whatever you must to preserve your own life. Don't kill yourself trying to save me. I've been living on borrowed time for months now."

Spock ignored the request, knowing how automatic a response it was in Kirk's psyche - and how frequently he had defied those orders. "If you still consent to this, please lie down. I will require deeper and deeper levels of consent as we proceed."

Kirk lay down without hesitation, the picture of peace and contentment. Spock sat down near his head. First moved closer and attached two tentacles to Kirk, two to Spock, and one to Spock's colleague. This would provide an independent source of data on the proceedings, in addition to 2731's monitoring.

"Place my hand on your face."

As soon as his fingers touched Kirk's face, Spock was there in his mind.

*It seems so effortless.*

*With your mind, it generally is.*

*So now what?*

*I take control of your physical body first.*

*What do I do?*

*I think you will do it instinctively without my having to tell you.*

Spock began pushing and pressing, asking for control of each set of muscles, squeezing Kirk's mind into a tight place. Kirk laughed as he joyously yielded, gave up control, and yielded some more. Finally Spock stopped.

*That was fun. Now what?*

*For the last step, I require a verbal request. You must ask me to do this to you.*

*Spock, take over my mind, such that I have no sense of self, and do with me as you wish.*

So Spock did. And again it seemed effortless, because there was no struggle, no need to conquer distraught emotions. Peace and love reigned between them. Those who saw and understood what they were seeing, marveled.

Spock-Kirk stood both of his bodies on their feet. He turned the Kirk body around and placed Kirk's hand on his own to reinforce the link. Then he walked them both to the edge of the arena floor, and addressed the front row of observers.

"How can we prove to you that I have control of both of our minds and bodies?" He said the first word with his Spock mouth, the second with his Kirk mouth, and alternated each word between them, but he did it so smoothly that it sounded like one person speaking.

They stared in shocked awe, speechless. Finally one ventured a response.

"Beyond what you have just done, I'm sure I don't know. I don't think we doubt that you have done it." There was an unspoken 'but'.

"But you cannot understand how I could permit me to do such a thing." And alternating bodies, the 'I' was said with the Kirk body, and the 'me' with the Spock body. "My apologies; it is somewhat difficult to communicate precisely."

"It's more than that. It was so fast, so easy. He really did want you to do this."

"Yes, I did," Spock-Kirk said with the Kirk body. "Neither of us is afraid of it - not the process, not each other. The sensation of being two people, yet one, is intriguing. But the real reason we are doing this is for your sake. While we show you that we do not fear it, we take the risk gladly in order to urge you to choose love instead of bitterness and fear."

Another observer found his voice. "Excuse me, sir, but-" he stopped.

"Go on. But what?" Spock-Kirk encouraged.

"Facing the Watcher a second time is so much worse."

"You wonder if, having experienced it, we would fear doing it again?"

"Yes, sir," the man admitted miserably.

"That question is easily answered. We will do it again. How many times and with what frequency?"

They consulted among themselves. "Four times in a row, just as fast as you can do it; then three more times, spaced at least an hour apart."

"Very well."

Spock-Kirk moved back to the middle of the arena and returned their bodies to the floor. Gathering the elements of Kirk's mind, he placed it back in Kirk's body. Within a few minutes, he had returned complete control to Kirk, released him from the meld and withdrawn his hand from Kirk's face.

Kirk opened his eyes and gazed at Spock, slightly disoriented. He assumed he would be considerably more so by the time they were done. The thought did not distress him.

"Jim, do you fear this?"

"Spock, you know I don't. I was surprised by one thing though. You don't hide anything from me. You could lock me into one room of your mind. Yet I am free to run down the corridors, open any door, and play all I want. If I mess with your mind, it will not be the same afterwards. Yet you do not fear it, nor guard yourself against tampering."

"I would welcome any 'messing' you do." Spock meant it, even though he kept his tone of voice dry.

Kirk again guided Spock's hand to his face. The task was accomplished somewhat faster, because Kirk kept pushing for more speed.

*Spock, why can't you take over my body as fast as my mind?*

*Perhaps I could. Would that be easier for you?*

*I have no idea, but what difference does it make? I thought they wanted it as fast as possible.*

*Very well, on the next round, we will try it. And now, again I need your verbal request.*

*Do it, Spock.*

Instantaneous and effortless, just like the first time. Spock-Kirk did not take the time to get up, but spoke briefly to his observing colleague.

"Do you concur that the transfer is made, and we are one?"

"Yes, Spock, I felt it happen, just like the first time."

"Then we will not delay."

He returned Kirk's mind and withdrew once more.

"Do you need to rest, Spock?"

"No."

Kirk picked up Spock's hand and placed it on his face.

*Jim, are you sure?*

*Yes, Spock. Why not?*

*It may feel violent to you.*

*So what? Spock, it's okay. Just do it. Please.*

Violent was a mild word for what it felt like. Crushed, squeezed, stomped on, all compressed into about half a second of time.

*Jim?*

*I'm fine, Spock. Go ahead, finish it.*

Spock-Kirk took a deep breath.

"You again observe that we are one?"

"Yes, Spock. Are there no limits for him?"

"May we address that question after completing these rapid transfers?"

"Of course. Please continue."

Spock-Kirk returned Kirk's mind.

"Spock, could you do the whole thing at once? As soon as you have contact?"

"With anyone else, I would not consider it. The emotional trauma of the first makes the second exceedingly difficult."

"What emotional trauma?"

"Jim, if they happen simultaneously, you cannot separate the violence from the loss of self. You will feel ripped apart, shredded to the very depths of who you are." He took a deep breath to reassert control over his emotions. "I do not want to do this to you." It wasn't a plea, merely a statement of reality.

Kirk acknowledged that reality but didn't let it sway him. "But that is precisely how these people have felt when attacked by Watchers. I think you have to do it that way. And not just this once, but every time hereafter. They need to know my response to the violence of it."

Spock needed no time to consider, having accurately predicted this very thing. "Very well. I will attack you, withdraw, and attack you again, without pause for conversation."

And he did. Kirk responded to the violence the same way he always did. Though it shook him to the core, he never said 'no' to it, tried to defend himself, or shut himself off from what it did to him. Nor was it any more difficult the second time. If anything, it was easier.

Spock-Kirk took a deep breath, grateful there were no emotions which required his attention. He turned to address the observers' questions. They would retain this state for at least an hour before redoing the attack. He/they stood and walked to the edge of the arena.

"My colleague raised a question, which I thought you all might be interested in. We will address as many questions as you have. The first question was this. Does Jim Kirk have limits? Yes, he does. But I do not know of anyone else who consistently pushes his own limits the way Jim does." He answered this question with the Spock body because it was easier for their listeners that way.

They talked for over an hour, answering all questions with complete honesty. Then they returned to the floor and Spock repeated the attack. This time, Spock-Kirk performed a dance with his two bodies. It started slow enough, but over the next hour progressed to running, jumping, and many gymnastics and martial arts moves. And it was all synchronized perfectly, even though the Spock body was slightly taller than the Kirk body. No one who saw it could doubt that the two bodies were controlled by a single, very sophisticated, mind.

Spock-Kirk was having fun. He kept it up for two hours before running out of new things to try. Finally sinking to the floor, he withdrew from Kirk, who just lay on the floor and laughed with delight. The laugh was cut off abruptly when Spock again took control. Not because Kirk stopped laughing during the violence, but because Spock-Kirk did not laugh audibly. At least not usually.

He-they rose fluidly and approached the audience again.

"Are there other questions you have, or elements you would like to be part of this demonstration? We have another four hours."

They wanted to see if he could put the Kirk body to sleep. He did; several times. Each time, Jim went exploring in the corridors of Spock's mind. Spock just let him.

Then they called in various people for Spock-Kirk to talk to. They wanted to see how he would prove to them that he was both Spock and Kirk, two bodies in one mind. McCoy was first.

"Aren't you two done playing games yet? What do you want me to do, give you a medical exam?"

"That will not be necessary, Doctor. Quit worrying, Bones, we'll be fine."

"The first line was pure Spock, the second, Jim, in spite of which mouth they came from. If you don't mind my saying so, this is among the stranger things you two have done."

"I would characterize it as fascinating. It's just plain fun!"

"Again, Spock, then Kirk. As classic a response as I can imagine."

Spock-Kirk had made each comment come from the opposite body from which the thought was characteristic. McCoy was chuckling to himself as he left.

Uhura was next. Spock-Kirk spoke to her in Vulcan with the Kirk body, then in Klingon with the Spock body. She laughed with delight, then explained to the audience what he had done. Kirk did not speak Vulcan; Spock did not speak Klingon. But Spock-Kirk could speak both.

Then they brought in several people from Kirk's unit. They asked Spock-Kirk questions that only Kirk would know the answers to.

J'orn was first. "What did I ask you to do for me after that first reward session?"

"You asked me to teach you to be Speaker."

J'rad was second. "What did you give me when we talked in the corridor the day after your first rest day meeting?"

"I gave you the peace of Jesus; that is, I prayed, and He gave you what I asked."

J'oso was last. "What did you tell me that first time we talked in the mess hall?"

"I told you who I was. I also told you how to kill me."

The audience was satisfied with the reports from all witnesses. Spock-Kirk returned Kirk's mind once more. Three hours remained.

"Spock, what about fun and games with the Watchers? Combine elements of the test, as it were. Wouldn't have to get all 140 of them. Just the ten who still hate me should be enough to be interesting."

So they called in the ten Watchers who threw Spock-Kirk all over the arena, raking them with as many tentacles as they could manage. The pain was easily ignored. The disorientation was a minor matter, and easier for the Kirk body than for the Spock body. His chief concern was maintaining the link. The violence repeatedly threatened to pull them apart. He suspected they were actively trying to do just that.

Spock-Kirk knew that Jim would not have complained or called a halt to the proceedings. Nor was he afraid of what would happen when they succeeded. So he clung to Jim's body, and prayed.

It took them almost an hour to find a way to wrench them apart in a way that Spock could not prevent. They dropped Jim's body, which fell to the floor in a heap. First and 2731 disengaged before the body hit the floor. Both were thoroughly upset. The Watchers however, continued to toss Spock around. Spock-Kirk went into overdrive, in a frenzy to get free of them. He pinched, slapped, jerked, squeezed, and chopped. Watchers were flung in all directions, and Spock dropped to the floor. Diving for Jim's body, he sought the face. Reestablishing the link, he felt Jim's heart beat, his body breathe. It had been less than two minutes. He did a quick diagnostic on the body and was relieved with the results. He returned Kirk's mind and withdrew.

Kirk opened his eyes. More than a little disoriented, it took him a moment to process mentally who and where he was. It wasn't like waking up from sleep. He remembered what had happened, but he remembered it as Spock-Kirk. Weird.

"Bones is going to be very unhappy about this little accident."

"Captain, it was _not_ an accident."

"I know that, but for now, we're calling it an accident. I suppose it would be unwise to let them try it again. Maybe we could finish this with that cage-thing you wired. That might be interesting."

"You had better assure First that you are alive, before he executes those ten Watchers."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Kirk stood up. He was a little shaky on his feet, not because of the 'accident', but because his mind was having to process the fact that he had two legs and two arms, not four of each. He took a deep breath, accessed the grace of the Lord, and walked over to First.

The ten Watchers were lined up, their tentacles coiled, their colors subdued. First had a tentacle placed on the head of each. The other four tentacles lashed out randomly at one or more of them. Kirk wasn't sure how to get his attention. He grabbed a tentacle as it went past. It pulled him off his feet, but he hung on, wrapping himself around it. The tentacle jerked repeatedly, trying to rid itself of this hindrance.

Kirk sensed that First still didn't know he was there. He tried to send him the peace of Jesus, but sensed no change in First. Then he noticed 2731 off to one side. He dropped to the floor and went to him.

*2731, I can't get First's attention. Can you help me?*

*You're alive! But- I felt you die! How can you be alive?*

*Spock rescued me. Right now, I need to get First's attention, but he's completely oblivious to me. Will you talk to him? Tell him I'm alive?*

*It is a hard thing you ask. Anyone who touches him now will be seriously injured by his rage. It will not stop until the ten are dead.*

*But we have to stop it! Maybe Spock can get through to him.*

Kirk rushed to Spock and explained what he knew. Spock attempted to mind-meld with First, but could not make contact with anything other than rage. In desperation, Kirk climbed the nearest Watcher and yanked at First's tentacle until it came loose. He slid down, climbed another Watcher, and pulled that one loose too. He kept pulling tentacles loose until First finally noticed him and attacked.

He wrapped an arm around Kirk's waist and squeezed. He lifted him high in the air and shook him. He raked him with tentacles repeatedly. Finally he planted four squarely on Kirk's head.

_Finally,_ Kirk thought.

First's rage overwhelmed him in pain. It reminded him of the wires in the back, except this started in his head, and felt like all 20 with each wave of it. He gathered himself to talk through it.

*Vent your rage on me if you must, but stop killing your people.*

No response, and the rage continued unabated.

*No more killing! I mean it! I forbid you to kill these people, no matter what you think they have done!*

Still no response. First added four more tentacles to the rage barrage. If he could get all 14, then First wouldn't be killing any of his people. But the pain was becoming difficult to ignore.

*You _must_ stop killing your people! I insist!*

Finally a response, as if from far away.

*No one can withstand the rage. You will stop disrupting the execution.*

And he added four more tentacles. Kirk was nearing unconsciousness. He cried out to Jesus for help.

*I _can_ withstand the rage, and I will keep resisting you as long as it takes. You will not kill these people!*

2731 saw what First was doing. Certain that he was himself killing Kirk, 2731 took his courage by the tentacles and approached First. Just as he made contact, Kirk lost consciousness.

*Sir! Though it kill me, I must tell you! Do you see what you are doing? Captain Kirk is alive, but you are killing him! You do not want to be doing this, sir! Please! If you can, control the rage.*

*He is alive?! What do you mean? I felt him die! How can he be alive? And you too are disrupting the execution!*

*Stop! Please, sir! Hear me before you condemn me!*

*Go on.*

*I felt him die too, but he said Spock rescued him. He was desperate to get your attention and stop the execution. When nothing else worked, he put himself in your way, knowing you were oblivious to who he was. When it became clear to me that you were killing him without knowing who he was, I had to intervene. So now, if you cannot control the rage, go ahead and kill us both. Only, for his sake, do not kill the ten. They did not kill him, you did.*

At this point, Spock interrupted, having finally got a clear channel.

*It is highly unlikely that Jim is dead. If you will release him, he will recover consciousness in a few minutes.*

First finally got the message. *Are you telling me that this creature who has been yelling at me and ignoring my rage attack is Jim Kirk?!*

*Yes,* Spock and 2731 responded emphatically in unison.

Shock and guilt shuddered through First's tentacles. *What have I done?* he whispered.

*I repeat: Jim is not dead, merely unconscious. If you will release him-*

*You don't have to do that,* Kirk said. *I rather prefer knowing where twelve of your tentacles are.*

*Captain! I thought you were dead! And now I have attacked you ferociously - much worse than the last time I vented my rage on you. Even now, it threatens to overpower me. I am so very guilty! I must punish myself for what I have done to you.*

*No! I forgive you for what you have done to me. It is already forgotten. I proclaim you 'not guilty'. God loves you, and He wants you and all these people to learn to live together in peace. Lord, I ask you right now to deliver First from this rage and free him from the hold it has on him.*

Immediately First sighed and removed all but two of the tentacles he had attached to Kirk. Kirk opened his eyes to make sure First was not renewing his attack on the ten, but the ten tentacles just lay at Kirk's feet.

*First, two things I want to clarify before we get back to Spock's colleagues. I want you to promise me that if I die, no matter whose fault it is, you will not execute anyone, not even yourself. Anyone who kills me is granted an automatic pardon.*

*That's crazy! How can it not be a crime to kill you?!*

*You don't have to understand it; just agree to it, as a favor to me. Please?*

*When you put it that way, I cannot refuse you. You have given so much, and asked so little. Yes, I promise you that I will grant a pardon to whoever kills you.*

*Thank you. My second question concerns these ten. I'm no expert, but they don't look very well to me. What can we do to help them?*

*I don't know. Executions are rare; interrupted ones nonexistent.*

*Will their condition get any worse in the next few hours? I have a test to finish.*

*I don't know, but probably not.*

*I'll risk it then. Is there anyplace you can put them where somebody can keep an eye on them?*

*Not really.*

He turned on his audio speaker.

"Now hear this: Captain Kirk is alive. He has interrupted your execution, at considerable cost to himself. Further, he has insisted that I agree to pardon anyone that does succeed in killing him. Therefore, you are free to go. Report for Watchers training session, second shift tomorrow. That's all."

The ten blinked out within the next few seconds. Kirk turned his attention back to the test. He walked over to Spock and placed Spock's hand on his face. They had not as yet attempted to do this standing up. But Spock did not hesitate. Kirk swayed slightly at the violence of transition. This was becoming so familiar that the creature, known to himself as Spock-Kirk, had little adjustment to make.

He walked to the edge of the arena and explained to the observers what had occurred. After their questions were answered, Spock-Kirk suggested they spend the last hour of the test with the discipline cage.

He carefully placed the Kirk body within the cage and positioned the Spock body above the head, essentially where it had been before. This time, however, a Spock hand was resting securely on the Kirk body's face. The other Spock hand firmly gripped the cage, so as to prevent any other 'accidents'.

Spock-Kirk could tolerate much more pain than the Kirk body could by himself. This was amply proved to the observers as they quickly reached and surpassed Kirk's earlier limit. At his urging, they cranked it all the way to the top. Spock-Kirk never wavered.

"How can this be?" his colleague inquired.

"It is because our combined stamina and strength of will is greater than either possesses individually. Would you like to see how he tolerates both attacks at once?"

"What do you mean?"

"Turn the dial down to the point at which he lost consciousness the last time."

Spock withdrew, allowing Jim to feel the pain, coping with the maximum intensity of it all on his own.

Kirk smiled and spoke slowly. "The new limit is higher than this. In fact, with your help, I could get it a lot higher."

"You know what I am going to do. Do you consent?"

"Sure, Spock. As many times as you want. But keep raising the dial. This is too easy. And you might try zero to max too."

Spock attacked and withdrew, over and over and over and over again. For 30 minutes, he bombarded Jim with almost constant transitions, coupled with ever increasing pain levels, intermixed with zero to max challenges. An outsider would have thought that Spock was trying to break Kirk. But Spock knew what Jim could do. And they were united in their goal of making this as powerful a demonstration as they could manage.

As the barrage of transitions continued, Kirk became completely disoriented. Never aware of himself long enough to have a complete thought, Kirk's sense of reality became muddled at best. The pain was an outside force, something he understood; it felt normal. The sense of not knowing who he was felt internally abnormal. He felt as if someone was doing this to him, and yet he was also doing it to himself.

Since coherent thought was impossible, Kirk's response to it was all emotional. No fear or anger appeared at any time. His soul was at peace, his spirit full of the joy of the Lord. Content with the unnaturalness of it, he trusted the Lord for the completion of the matter.

2731 became gradually aware of a change. He consulted First, who agreed with his observation. Both were of the opinion that Spock and Kirk were probably unaware. The violence of the transition when Spock took over Kirk's mind was diminishing. As they continued to observe, it completely disappeared. Spock took control and gave it back over and over again, with no change in Kirk - no violence, no response of any kind, no awareness even that a change had taken place.

Finally time was up. Spock withdrew for the last time. He would not let them turn off the pain yet however.

He spoke to Jim. "Do not open your eyes yet. Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Answer these questions: who are you?"

"I don't know."

"Does that fact disturb you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Jesus knows who I am. I trust Him."

"Do you know who has done this to you?"

"I did it to myself, I think."

"Does the name Spock mean anything to you?"

"Spock is a friend." Kirk swallowed an unexpected emotional reaction. "A very special friend."

"Who is Jim?"

"Jim. That's my name. But Spock is my name too. How can that be? I cannot be two people at once, can I? Is that why I don't know who I am?"

"How do you feel?"

"I feel fine. All my parts are in working order."

"Did Spock say that, or did Jim?"

"I'm guessing, but I think Spock did."

"Shall I turn off your pain?"

"I don't care."

"Was that thought Spock or Jim?"

"Jim, I think."

"Does Jim have another name? If so, what is it?"

"I seem to recall another place where people called me Kirk. Is your name Koh?"

"No, it is not. Tell me again how you feel about the loss of identity."

"Well, it's a little confusing, and I don't imagine I'll be very useful til I sort it out, but if you want to know if it disturbs the core of who I am, no it doesn't. I am a child of God, righteous in His eyes, and it matters not at all that I can't figure out if I'm Spock or Jim, both or neither. Are you going to tell me who I am?"

"No. It is safer for your mind if I do not."

"Safer. Do we have time to be safe?"

"Is that Jim's question or Spock's?"

"Jim's definitely. And I've just thought of another thing I'm certain of. Jim and Spock, if they are two separate people, are very close friends."

"How does Spock address Jim Kirk?"

"You mean other than 'Jim'?" He thought for a long moment. "Captain; I think he calls him Captain."

Suddenly memory flooded in, and Kirk knew who he was.

"Okay, Spock, I got it. You can let me out of here now."

"That is good news, Captain. Good news indeed."

They turned off the pain and released Kirk from the cage. He and Spock walked to the audience and addressed their questions.

"You said you didn't care if he turned off the pain. Why not?" asked Leader 1.

"The pain was a non-issue," Kirk replied. "We were dealing with the loss of identity, not pain tolerance. I know now why he didn't, but at the time, I didn't care."

"And why didn't he turn it off?"

"Because the fewer things he changed, the longer I would stay in that state of not knowing who I was. If he'd turned off the pain, yanked me out of the cage and told me to look at him, I probably would have snapped out of it at once."

"He said it was safer this way," another observer pointed out.

"Well, possibly it was, but that was a smokescreen. He wanted to keep me in that state as long as possible to give you a thorough demonstration of my reaction to it."

"Does that bother you?" Leader 1 sounded as if he thought it should.

"No. Why should it? That was the point of the whole thing."

"You call him friend, yet what friend would do what he has done to you this day?"

Kirk smiled. "A friend who knows me very well, who values the same things I do, who does what is right and needful, without counting the cost to himself."

"But you freely accepted everything he did to you."

"He knew I could and would. He told you that. He probably didn't tell you what this day has cost him." Knowing Spock would be uncomfortable, Kirk decided it needed to be said. "The physical effort, while substantial, is nothing compared to the emotional pain of inflicting that much on me."

Spock changed the subject. "Since Captain Kirk has clearly passed the test, your rights in the negotiation process are forfeited. From this point on, you will do as Captain Kirk commands you."

Leader 1 bowed from the waist. "We understand. Spock, you tried to tell us, but it seemed so incredible, and we were determined to have justice. Now that you have done the incredible - and it was more than we had even imagined - we acknowledge your right to forbid killing. Captain, we are yours to command."

"Spock also tried to tell you what forgiveness is. I forgive the debt you owe me. The pain is already forgotten. I do forbid killing, but you are free to enter the negotiations, with the same rights as all the other races."

"But Spock said-"

"I know what Spock said, and because you agreed to it, you were bound to honor that agreement. But I have the right to free you from that obligation to obey me. And I do, except to forbid killing. It is my hope that having been forgiven of your obligation to me, that you can begin to extend forgiveness to First's people."

"We will try. We are much humbled by you, Captain. Much humbled."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Negotiations that next day focused on the aid to be provided the home planets. Kirk didn't have much opinion beyond encouraging the races to ask for things they really needed, and not to worry about how much it would cost the Watchers. First was very quiet, and raised no objections to any of the demands.

The meeting with the _Enterprise_ crew also began quietly. McCoy eyed him with a scowl, med-scanner in hand. Kirk grinned at him. McCoy just shook his head and said nothing. Several items of business were discussed, including a sample work contract that Chekov and Uhura had been working on, the probable schedule for the remainder of their time there, and plans for visiting the various planets. Throughout the meeting, Spock said virtually nothing. Kirk assumed he was recovering, and left him alone. But he sensed an undercurrent of emotion in the others, which he could not identify.

"Before we adjourn, does anybody want to tell me what's bothering you guys? I can sense something's wrong, but I don't know what."

"It's that test, Keptin."

"Havin' ye explain it's one thing; seein' it's quite another."

"Your reaction to it is practically inhuman," put in Sulu. "But it's not Vulcan either. It's weird."

"Captain," Uhura's voice was quiet. "We've all seen you and Spock do some pretty incredible things, but this is in a different league entirely."

"What's different about it?"

"The intensity, I guess. But it's more than that. I don't know how to explain it. It's something I feel, rather than think."

"Okay, so you're all pretty upset. Are you angry?"

A chorus of negatives.

"That's good anyway. Is there any way I can help you?"

McCoy snorted. "That's typical! Having just endured hell for 24 hours, he wants to know how he can help us get over being upset about it!"

"But it wasn't hell! Some of it was fun; most of it was a challenge. But it wasn't supposed to be easy."

"Maybe if you'd tell us about it, it would help," suggested Uhura.

So Kirk shared his emotional responses, what had been difficult and why, what he'd enjoyed. The debriefing went on for several minutes, as they asked clarifying questions. As they brought it to a conclusion, Kirk sensed they were much more at peace. Spock, however, had remained silent throughout the discussion. Kirk would have let him get away with it. McCoy didn't.

"All right, Jim. I'm prepared to believe you sailed through this whole thing with your soul intact. I'm not so sure about your partner-in-crime. Spock, you haven't said a word. What's going on behind that Vulcan mask of yours? Start talking, now."

"My soul will recover, Doctor. It is not necessary to dissect it." Spock raised his already straight shoulders in a half-hearted attempt to appear offended.

"Spock, you haven't been like this since before you got saved. I can understand that you don't want the whole planet to know what this cost you. But you need healing!"

"I should not be any more upset about it than Jim is."

"But you are!"

Spock sighed. "Yes, I am."

Kirk thought that a major admission.

"Spock," McCoy went on, "this will be easier to deal with now, than if you let it fester til this mission is over."

After a brief pause, Spock nodded his willingness to share. "I am not skilled in describing emotions. I believe the difficulty lies with the facts of what I have done. Faced with my people's demand for justice, I devised an alternative to killing. I would have used myself as the victim, except I could not make myself lose all sense of identity. Knowing the Captain would agree to take the test, I urged them to set the parameters well beyond what they thought was possible. Even so, when the test was described to him, Jim thought it ridiculously easy."

Kirk nodded in ready agreement.

"He told me to use him as much as I wanted to, without restriction or limit. I took full advantage of that permission by enlarging the scope of the test to really challenge him, not once but repeatedly. I know things about his stay with the Klingons that he has not been able to explain in words."

McCoy gave Kirk a look that said he'd be asking about that later. Kirk just shrugged and turned his attention back to Spock.

"He is glad that I used that knowledge to drive him to his limits. He would have been bored otherwise. Nonetheless, because of what I did, his suffering was greatly magnified. He will tell you that he doesn't care, and it's true; he really doesn't. But I do." Spock paused and looked at his hands for a moment before finding the courage to continue.

"Every minute of that test was emotionally difficult. But the barrage of the last thirty minutes was almost impossible. I could accomplish it only by viciously suppressing my response to it. It was imperative that Jim not know how I felt. To get where we were going, there had to be no difference between what Jim felt, and what our combined selves felt."

Kirk nodded agreement.

"Had you told me three years ago that I would do the things I have done to Jim, I would have said I would die first. And I still believe that I would never do such things to anyone else. What I find most disturbing is that it is becoming progressively easier. There is an element of reckless disregard for his welfare that becomes stronger with each occurrence."

Kirk laughed. "Spock, I told you that if you let me mess with your mind, you wouldn't be the same. That reckless disregard is something you got from me."

"Possibly that is an element of it, Captain, but the decision to do this was made well before the 'messing' you refer to."

"Spock, I want it to be easy for you. Why should something that is easy for me be difficult for you?"

"It is not morally right for me to feel no anguish at causing your pain." For a moment, Spock let Kirk see the anguish in his eyes.

Kirk shook it off and continued to argue. "Even if I wanted you to? Even if I told you to?"

"You did not know what I was going to do."

"So what? I still wanted you to, and you knew it."

"That is precisely what was being tested: your willingness to let me inflict maximum pain on you."

"And you knew the answer before we took the test, so what's the big deal? Why does there have to be an emotional content to this?" Kirk was unsuccessfully trying to contain his frustration.

"Logically, there shouldn't be, but our relationship moved beyond logic a long time ago. I cannot disregard your pain any more than you can disregard mine." Spock's stubbornness matched Kirk's.

"Spock, how can I help you?"

McCoy jumped in. "He needs healing. Spock, can we pray for you?"

"Yes, Doctor, you may."

They gathered around Spock's chair. McCoy put his hands on Spock's head; the others laid a hand on his shoulder or back. Kirk knelt in front of him and placed his hands on Spock's legs. They immediately started shaking. He lifted his hands and the shaking stopped. Spock's face was unreadable, and he said nothing. Kirk looked to McCoy for direction. Bones nodded in response to Kirk's unspoken question.

So as the others prayed, Kirk ran his hands up and down Spock's legs, arms, and chest. He massaged his feet and hands. Spock continued to shake uncontrollably. Rather, he undoubtedly could have controlled it; he chose not to. He made no sound and his face remained unreadable. But to Kirk it was clear that Spock was having a very emotional experience.

It went on for some ten minutes, while McCoy and the others prayed. Kirk didn't listen to the words, but the love they had for Spock came through loud and clear. After a while, the shaking subsided, and Kirk rested his hands on Spock's knees. Finally they stopped praying and stepped back.

"Thank you, Doctor, and all of you. Two years ago, I could not have let you do that. I am making progress, for which I am grateful. Allowing myself to feel and express deep emotion is still very difficult. It is even more difficult to allow your love to penetrate to the depths of who I am. Thank you for your patience. And you, Jim, thank you for not being afraid of my emotion as expressed in my body."

"Does it still hurt?"

Spock did not ask how Jim knew, nor did they tell the others, who assumed they were still talking about emotional pain. And it was emotionally based, but Kirk was asking about the physical agony of his touch.

"My soul is washed and at peace. The love of Jesus covers much."

By which Kirk knew the answer was, 'yes', it still hurt, but Spock would be grateful if Kirk did not tell McCoy. So Kirk wouldn't. If Spock considered it a problem, they would discuss it in private some other time.

Spock smiled. "I no longer dread a possible resurrection of the creature known to himself as Spock-Kirk."

Kirk sat back chuckling. "That was the most interesting part of the whole thing."

McCoy jumped in. "Now see here. Don't you two go planning more such just because it's interesting. Reckless disregard may have its place, but I don't want to risk losing you both for no good reason except your curiosity."

"Relax, Bones. I'm not suggesting a replay, but it _was_ very interesting."

He laughed as McCoy started to renew his protest. Attention was diverted from Spock, and the group relaxed. McCoy smiled knowingly and kept his own counsel.

xxxx

The Watchers' training session began with 1167 announcing various job reassignments. He kept seven liaisons, one per race, and fourteen more, two per race, to go to the various home planets. 2731 became liaison for Jorn's race. 2891 was one of those picked to go to their home planet. Kirk lectured the 21 liaisons for about an hour, then dismissed everybody except the twelve problem cases.

He dealt first with the two he had sent to bed for three days. He approached them slowly and gently. They trembled but did not retreat. He picked up a tentacle, stroked it, hugged it, and put it down. He repeated the action with several more tentacles, alternating between the two of them. He began to stroke the needlepoints with his hand. The tentacle jerked, as if in pain. Kirk hugged and stroked some more, then touched the needles again. Same response, though not quite as vigorous.

1167 and First watched Kirk work.

*He's so patient with them,* 1167 marveled.

*But persistent. He doesn't take 'no' for an answer.*

*They may talk to him yet.*

*Oh, they'll talk to him all right. The man is absolutely fearless.*

*Look at that! He's wrapping himself up in their tentacles.*

*I remember the very first time. He'd never seen one of us before, but he wasn't afraid of me. And then the time he thought I was eating him - completely fearless. Absolutely incredible!*

*He's washing his face with their needles! They have to know that hurts! All Watchers know the needles hurt their victims.*

*Kirk has never behaved like a victim.*

*He's got their tentacles laced into a helmet. They're not resisting him.*

*No one can resist him for long. I'm the only one foolish enough to defy him at every opportunity.*

*Sir, you didn't know what you were doing. Please don't blame yourself.*

*If I'd learned the lessons he taught me two years ago, we wouldn't now have ten half-dead Watchers. If he would, I'd ask him to rule this planet instead of me. But I can't ask him to stay; he belongs in his own galaxy.*

Kirk caressed, cajoled, coaxed, and encouraged. It took over an hour. Finally one of them lightly grazed his arm with a few needles. Kirk held himself very still. After a moment, he returned the gesture by stroking the needles with his hand. A few minutes later, the tentacle approached again. As Kirk remained motionless, the needles alighted and stayed on his arm.

Kirk barely breathed as he continued to pray for these two. Another tentacle approached, this one from the other guy. It too lightly grazed his arm then returned to settle. He didn't want to disturb this fragile connection, so he kept himself motionless, determined to stay right there for as long as necessary.

For ten minutes, nothing happened. Then the Lord told Kirk to relax. He had allowed the intensity of his determination not to move to communicate itself to his muscles. He relaxed very slowly, so as not to disturb them. Five minutes later, he was floating, eyes closed, resting on their tentacles, in no hurry to go anywhere or do anything else. He prayed, sending them the peace and love of Jesus, and just waited.

Eventually he felt the needles on his arms move, ever so slightly, first one arm, then the other. After a bit, they moved again. They began to inch their way up his arms toward his head. The one on the left always moved first, more bold than his colleague. _Boldness is relative, however,_ thought Kirk, and he continued to pray. As they reached his shoulders and started up his neck, Kirk became aware that the pain from the needles was greatly magnified by their slow pace. He felt individual needles as they penetrated and were withdrawn. _This is going to be interesting,_ he thought with amusement.

The needles encircled his neck and began to approach his face. It felt like his head was being cut off, then as if he was choking, then smothering. He accepted the pain, and calmly waited for the sensations to pass. He felt several needles graze his eyeballs, but none penetrated. He wondered why not.

Then his attention was caught by something entirely different. As the needles began to penetrate his skull, he started to hear snatches of conversation. It resembled an old-style radio that was on the edge of the proper frequency. As more and more needles were plugged into his upper head, he was able to hear enough to make sense of it. But he knew they would not be able to hear him, so he just listened.

*...doesn't act as if... ...pain...*

*...must be... ...don't... ...remember...*

*...no fear... ...no anger...*

*He's hiding it! He must be!*

*How could he?! Emotions always come through the body. Didn't you learn anything?*

*I learned not to trust anybody, especially not _them_.*

*He's not one of them. He's different.*

*I'll say he is. Nobody I saw on any tape could do what he's doing.*

*I think we should risk talking to him.*

*No way! You do that and I'm out of here.*

*Why not?*

*You remember what they said. Always attack the victim with at least four at once. Fewer might allow the victim to retaliate.*

*How? Other than scream - and he's not screaming.*

*I don't know, but just because he can stand two doesn't mean he can take four.

*_He_ thinks he can. He's the one that put together that helmet. Is it all right if I get closer?*

*I guess so.*

Suddenly Kirk felt half the arms he was wrapped in tighten around him. As they constricted tighter and tighter, Kirk laughed aloud. They were trying to squeeze fear out of him. It wouldn't work.

*See, what did I tell you? He's fearless. You try it!*

So he did. The first set of arms remained tight around him and the second half gradually tightened to match, but not nearly as boldly. Kirk smiled and remained relaxed, continuing to send them the peace of Jesus.

*Still don't think we should talk to him?*

*No! I'm not risking an attack from him. We nearly died from that final exam!*

*That's different. What would he have to do to convince you he's harmless?*

*What do you mean?*

*He wants to talk to us. He obviously wants it pretty seriously, or he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. So what would convince you to risk talking to him?*

*Before we got here, I would've said absolutely nothing. The longer we sit here plugged into his head, without getting any reaction out of him, the less sure I am.*

*I doubt if he has all day to wait. Any way we can speed up the process?*

*Well, there are two questions. One is how much can he, or will he, take. The second question is whether he is somehow deceiving us, and will attack when we cannot avoid him.*

*If he tries that, all we have to do is let go of him. He cannot make us stay. As to the first, if he willingly puts on all 28 sets, would you be convinced?*

*Maybe.*

They dropped him in a heap, and laid all 28 tentacles at his feet. Kirk took off his tunic and sandals. He wrapped himself in the tentacles in such a way as to leave gaps for the insertion of the ends which held the needles. He placed them at strategic points: bottom of the feet, behind the knees, the belly and buttocks, plenty on the back and chest, and finally neck and face. Last to place were those on his arms and hands. He lay back, relaxed completely, and waited.

Some fifteen minutes went by. Kirk dozed. At last the needles on his face began inching upward. Kirk woke up. This time there was no overheard conversation. Either they were talking on a closed channel, or they weren't talking at all. Suddenly the two tentacles on the back of his neck uprooted themselves, and planted their needles squarely in the back of Kirk's head. He had contact.

*Hello. My name is Jim. Thank you for risking yourselves to talk to me.*

*You are not like the others. You do not scream, fight, or try to escape. You do not become insane, hysterical, or comatose,* the bolder of the two said.

*You have no negative emotions - no fear, no anger - or are you hiding your emotions from us?* the timid one asked.

*No, I am not hiding anything from you. This is my normal, natural reaction.*

*But there is no reaction. It's almost as if you're unaware of the pain!*

*Exactly. My normal response to pain is to ignore it. I focus on it only if there's some specific reason to do so.*

*Can others of your race do this? The slave races cannot.*

*Actually they can - at least, some of them are learning. Spock is the only other of my people who has the training. But the slave races are slaves no longer, and that's what we need to talk about.*

They talked another 20 minutes, and Kirk prayed for their healing. When they understood that they would never be required to attack a slave victim, they were quite amenable to discussing job replacement with 1167. He again thanked them for talking to him, and told them to check in with 1167 before leaving the arena.

Kirk turned his attention next to the ten half-dead Watchers.

But First intercepted him. *Captain, your success at fixing the wounded is phenomenal. But these ten are in the state they're in because of me. I do not want you to risk your life again. I cannot predict what they might do to you.*

*First, when are you going to stop worrying about my life? God is the only protection I need.*

*But this is all my fault!*

*No, it's not. But even if it was, what difference would that make? You think I should refuse to help them?*

*Captain, they tried to kill you!*

*All the more reason I should help them.*

*I don't see why!*

*Where would you be if I had refused to help you? My first recollection of you is the day I thought you were eating me for breakfast. Would I have agreed to come here if I had been offended? Or what about those additions to the marathon test? Any one of them could have gotten us killed. Was I angry with you? But let's bring it even closer. What about all that rage you showered on me yesterday?* Kirk paused to let it sink in.

*Forgiveness is not something you do once to fulfill an obligation, and then it's done. It's a constant attitude that I walk in all the time. Every person and situation I encounter receives first and foremost the love of God flowing through me. Does that mean I'm perfect? No. I'm occasionally tempted to be angry. I make mistakes, some of them big ones. But the driving force behind most of what I do is the love of God.*

Kirk continued. *These ten need the love of God. They needed it before yesterday. They still need it. That love is unconditional. It is unaffected by anything they do or don't do. I am the agent of that love. My job is to communicate that unconditional love of God to them, largely through my actions. I can do this because I am neither angry nor afraid.*

*It seems so clear when you talk about it, but I have yet to live the way you do,* First said ruefully.

*Keep trying. You'll get there. Remember God loves you unconditionally too.*

Kirk walked over to the ten. He walked among them, praying and laying a hand on each one. Most of them backed away from him, though not very far away. One however did not move at all. Kirk wasn't sure if he was more bold or more dead. Either way, it was an indication he should start with this one.

He began unwrapping the coiled tentacles, massaging them as he went. There was no resistance, only a slight tremor, a shaking as if from cold or fright. He only unwrapped them sufficiently to have enough slack to wrap himself up. Again placing the needles at strategic points, he wrapped himself as tightly as he could, finishing with a helmet of four sets of needles. Contact was immediate.

*What are you doing?*

*Am I hurting you?*

*Why aren't you? Didn't you stop the execution so you could do it yourself?*

*Absolutely not! I don't want you to die. I want you to live, free to love, not hate.*

*Don't you understand what we did? First knows we did it on purpose. Did you think it was an accident?*

*I know it wasn't an accident. Do you still want to kill me?*

*I don't know. I'm very confused. You rattle me!*


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

While Kirk talked to Watchers, J'rad talked to J'ret. The first day, he had found him in Kirk's quarters, the picture of depression. He talked to him for a while, but got no further than Kirk had. But he assured J'ret that Kirk had not meant for him to be confined to quarters. Rather he had offered the room as a private place to contemplate. Thereafter J'ret had spent many hours in the assembly hall, glued to the screen which displayed Kirk's activities.

That was where J'rad found him that third afternoon. He sat down beside him, and together they watched Kirk wrap himself in Watchers' tentacles. When Kirk put on the helmet and laid his hands in the two remaining sets of needles, J'ret sat back and sighed.

J'rad turned to look at him. "Want to talk about it?"

"He's absolutely incredible." J'ret shook his head.

"I know. He uses pain like a tool to serve his purposes. As far as I can tell, there is no limit to the pain he will endure to get what he wants. But he's by no means insensitive to the pain of others. That first rest day, I remember how shocked I was that he was upset. Not about what I had done to him - he thought that was funny. And given what I've seen since, I can understand why he laughed. The thing is, at the time, I knew he was in agony, but he laughed anyway. This isn't what I was going to say, but I don't quite see how he can tolerate 50 when even one is agony."

"He taught us some techniques for building up tolerance," J'ret volunteered. "But unless he practiced in private, he jumped from two to 20 to 50."

"I'm sure he didn't practice. He hardly slept, and nothing he does is in private. Anyway, what I started to say was that he was upset because I was upset. None of that persecution fazed him, but he was very concerned about what he had done to me."

"He did something to _you_?" J'ret was surprised.

"He said he had manipulated me into doing what he wanted - made me angry on purpose, so I would torture him."

"He did that?!"

"Yes, he did. Apologized profusely and asked my forgiveness. I haven't seen him upset about anything else like he was that day."

"Not even the whipping?" J'ret's tone was a whisper.

"No, that wasn't the same kind of upset," J'rad explained. "I know he looked angry, but I think he was mostly just intensely urgent with the need to prevent killing. I don't think he planned it in advance, but faced with the need, he didn't hesitate to give a lesson in violence the whole planet will remember."

"I was there. I'm the reason he did that. I've watched the screen for two days, and nothing I've seen has cost him what that whipping did. At least not physically. His back was in shreds, his blood all over the floor, the force of the whip knocked him down with every lash. His strength was spent, but not his will. To get up cost him every last ounce of determination he had. You could feel it in the air. I was sure he would stay down, but no, he dredged up some more determination from somewhere and stood up again. And he did it over and over and over again. How can I ever forgive myself for what I did to him?" J'ret stared at the floor in abject misery.

"If you're talking about the whipping, you didn't do it to him. He did it to himself. What you need to forgive yourself for is the actions you took that led to what he did. You listened to the seeds of doubt. You allowed yourself to be persuaded not to trust him. And then, rather than telling him of your doubt, you plotted action behind his back. Has he forgiven your betrayal?" J'rad asked.

"Yes. As far as I can tell, he didn't even have to think about it. It was an automatic response. And yet he meant it. It wasn't just something he said to make me feel better. And though he had every right to judge me and find me guilty, I never heard a word of judgment from him." He looked at the screen and shook his head. "J'rad, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When did you start trusting him, what did you think about this mutiny thing when you first heard about it, and what did you think when he told everybody who he was?"

"I was in the crowd that first day they appeared in the cage. None of them looked at all frightened, but he was obviously their leader. I was in the room when he got here. Not a flicker of reaction out of him. I was sure he was going to be trouble. He was so obviously a warrior and a commander of men. I thought there was no way he would clean bathrooms without making a scene. But he did. His work was excellent, and he kept cutting his time down. I had to multiply his workload each day; I had strict orders to keep him busy. Not one word of protest or complaint. He just did the extra work and continued to cut his time down. Then came the day of the trashed bathrooms."

"I heard about that."

"I didn't know anything about it to begin with. First shift inspection I noticed a few things that weren't quite right. Nothing serious, mind you, and if it'd been somebody else, I probably would've passed it. But his work up to then had been so perfect, I thought, _he's getting sloppy just to see what I'll do; I better nip this in the bud._ So I put him on report. He thanked me for the correction and said he'd take care of it.

"Second shift inspection he had everything back to perfection. I thought nothing more about it, til I got to the mess hall later. There was a table full of rowdy guys that stopped me and asked about the alien's work. They didn't believe me that his work was fine. I pursued it further and they finally told me they'd heard someone had trashed some bathrooms. I didn't believe it, but I went and checked. Sure enough, third shift had done it too. And it was only his bathrooms, so they had it well-organized. And a thorough mess it was. I thought there was no way he could possibly get them clean in time. But he did."

J'ret's attention was riveted on the story.

J'rad went on. "I was starting to get an inkling of this guy's character. Maximum effort, no complaint. I couldn't take back the discipline I'd ordered, and I was afraid to tell him what he was in for. After J'orn saw him work, he insisted I get him to teach me. I didn't want to, but J'im had no problem with it. Immediately he began treating me like he was a fellow supervisor that I had asked for help solving a problem. He wasn't arrogant, just genuinely helpful. And he hit the nail on the head about the problem around here being motivation. He exceeded my expectations as a teacher, and we ended the shift on friendly terms." J'rad took a deep breath before continuing.

"I have never liked discipline sessions, but this one I dreaded. I don't know why I wanted J'im to like me, but I was sure he would despise me. Well, you saw what happened. I could feel him laughing at me, and it made me angry. All thought of friendship was banished. But afterwards, when I thought about what I had done, I despised myself.

"The next day he caught me in the corridor. I would have avoided him if I could have. He greeted me warmly, as a friend. It was as if the day before had never occurred. I blurted out how I felt, and that's when he got upset. He wanted to pray for me. I didn't know what he was talking about, and he couldn't explain it. He looked me in the eye and said, 'trust me?' That was the moment I started trusting J'im. He wasn't asking me to do something for him; he was asking me to let him help me. And he did. The effect lasted for days."

He paused, but J'ret didn't ask for an explanation of the effect of J'im's prayer, so he didn't try to explain it.

"The second time he asked me to trust him was the day of the mutiny. You guys knew about it ahead of time, but he didn't tell us until that very morning. By that time, there was no question that I trusted him. Everything he'd done had been for our benefit, and a lot of it had been at considerable cost to himself. He explained the mutiny in such simple terms, it was obvious it would work. It didn't occur to me to question him, or the reality of what he planned.

"The riot was scary, because I was afraid for him. When he got you all back inside, I sat spellbound. I had never seen him like that. The day he took over this unit was mild in comparison. He was so intensely furious. Then the whipping started, and I was appalled. I could see that he was focusing all that fury on himself. But we all blamed J'oso. Without him, it would have fallen apart. He and J'im are two of a kind - very stubborn and determined.

"As for telling us who he was, I don't know that I thought about it. The whipping held everyone's attention so thoroughly, we didn't really process that business about the mutiny not being real. And the fact is, I still don't know who he is _really_, but it doesn't matter. The thing is working the way he said it would, and that's what's important." J'rad sat back to see what J'ret would make of his story.

"Thanks for sharing all that, J'rad. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that whipping. If anybody deserved to be whipped, it was me. J'oso begged J'im to punish him, but J'im wouldn't. I wish he would punish me."

"But he already has!" J'rad insisted. "He made you watch the whipping. The purpose of punishment is to deter any repetition of the crime. I think his method works very well."

J'ret shook his head in disagreement. "The purpose of punishment is to pay for the crime. I can't stand that he paid for my crime, and the price he paid is too high! I see it even now; the memory haunts me."

"And you think that if he would just inflict enough pain on you, that you would be free of that which haunts you?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. Could you talk to him for me? You seem to understand."

"I'll talk to him, but you won't get what you think you want, and if you did, it wouldn't do for you what you think it will," J'rad predicted.

xxxx

J'rad brought it up with Kirk later that night. They were in the conference room, having finished other business of the unit.

"I talked to J'ret several times. I don't know that I made any more progress than you had. He's stuck on that whipping. He can't get past the idea that you paid for his crime. He wants you to punish him. He hopes that would free him from the memory that haunts him. I told him it wouldn't, but he can't see any other solution to his problem."

"Where is he now?"

"Probably in your quarters. I told him he didn't have to stay there, but the only other place I've seen him is glued to the screen, watching you."

"Will you come with me?"

"Sure, but aren't you going to sleep at all?"

"Later, when there's time."

They found J'ret pacing the floor. He looked up briefly when they entered, then stood with lowered eyes, silent.

"Hello, J'ret. We need to talk. I asked J'rad to come too, but if you don't want him here, he can leave."

"No objection, sir." J'ret spoke to the floor.

"Sit down, please." Kirk gestured them to chairs. J'ret sat bolt upright, and still looked at the floor. Kirk prayed for wisdom.

"J'rad tells me that you want me to punish you."

J'ret didn't answer.

"What punishment do you want me to set?"

"I don't know. Higher than the price you paid."

"The whip wouldn't do to your body what it did to mine."

"The wands then. I don't know, but something that costs me like that cost you." J'ret finally looked up, and Kirk was startled by the intensity of his gaze.

"What do you think it cost me?"

"Everything. Every last ounce of determination down to the very depths of your being. I felt it. The force of your determination filled the whole room."

"I was determined to make my body obey me. At no time did I even begin to ask myself if I could take any more of it. The physical effort was substantial; it had to be to accomplish the purpose. But emotionally, it cost me nothing. I can see how you would think I was paying for your crime, but I wasn't. The truth is, I can't pay for your crime; it's already been paid for."

Kirk shared again about the love of Jesus, and what He had done to pay for all sin. He again urged J'ret to accept the forgiveness of the Lord. But J'ret would not let go of his memory of the whipping. Kirk asked the Lord for direction.

_Show him your back, and teach him with the wands. He is afraid of it._

"J'rad, go fetch me the wands, if you would please."

J'ret's eyes widened in alarm as J'rad left without a word of protest.

"J'ret, stand up." They both stood. "Close your eyes." He did, after a slight hesitation. "Remember what my back looked like after those thirty lashes. See it in your mind."

Kirk stripped off his tunic and turned his back to J'ret.

"Now open your eyes. See what my back looks like now. Touch it; both hands; don't be timid."

J'ret hesitated.

"J'ret, touch my back, all of it."

"But-"

"What does it look like?"

"I can see the fresh scars, but on top of that is a whole bunch of red scratches, and pin pricks, hundreds of them."

"That's all more recent damage. Is it bleeding?"

"No, but-"

"Then ignore it. Are you afraid to touch my skin?"

"The Watchers did that."

"Yes, I imagine so; the wands don't leave any mark."

"I had no idea! You made it look so easy!"

"Quit stalling. Touch my back, now! I require it."

So J'ret did. His touch was not particularly gentle, in spite of his timidity. Kirk did not react in any way. He turned around, smiled, and put his tunic back on.

"Thank you. Sit down. Now tell me, what image of my back does your mind have now?"

"Pin pricks and scratches."

"And is that better or worse than the image you had before?"

"Better, I guess. At least I didn't do that to you. How can you stand it? From the first day, you laughed."

At this moment, J'rad returned with the wands. J'ret's eyes widened in fright. Kirk wondered why he hadn't noticed this fear reaction before.

"You think the wands are easier because they leave no mark?"

"I don't know."

"How long have you been afraid of the wands?"

"I don't know."

"Did you fear it during the training?"

"I don't think so."

"So what you fear is not the wands per se, but being pushed beyond your limit."

"Yes."

"Yet that is what you want me to do to you."

"Yes." J'ret's voice was low, but intense, and he held Kirk's gaze.

"Why?" Kirk's gaze was equally intense.

"I thought I wanted to pay for what I had done to you, to suffer what you had suffered; and I do, but it's more than that. I want to earn your respect, to regain my self-respect. I want to think of myself as other than the one who betrayed you, who caused you such intense suffering. If I cannot change the way I think, if I cannot suffer the way you suffered, then I want you to kill me. A betrayer should not live."

_Lord, what shall I do?!_

_ I already told you._

_Yes, but his thinking is all messed up._

_ You think I don't know that? Are you going to be ruled by what he thinks of you?_

"Okay, I will do what you want, but I doubt if we can get there with two wands. J'rad, do me a favor."

Kirk took off his ID and tossed it to J'rad.

"See if you can raise anybody and get us some more wands. Even better, if you can get through to Spock, see if we can borrow that cage-thing."

"Jim, are you sure?"

"No, I'm not, but I'm obeying orders anyway. God doesn't make mistakes."

So J'rad left and Kirk turned his attention back to J'ret.

"Which part of your body is most sensitive to the wands?"

"The hands," J'ret replied without hesitation.

"Take these wands, sit on the couch there, put one on each leg, like this."

Kirk positioned the wands with the live ends in J'ret's lap.

"Now turn them on, I don't care what setting, and you don't even have to tell me."

With shaking hands, J'ret flipped the dials all the way to ten and hit the power switches.

"Now I'm going to close my eyes and count to 300. You do whatever you want to with those wands."

Kirk sat down, closed his eyes, and began to count, very slowly. He heard J'ret gasp, then nothing more. It took a long twenty minutes to reach 300. Kirk stopped counting, opened his eyes, and looked at J'ret. His eyes were glued to Kirk's face; his hands firmly gripped the live ends of the wands.

"Remove your hands from the wands, turn them off, and place them on the floor."

J'ret complied without a word.

"Now talk to me. What did that experience do for you?"

"It was too easy."

"What else?"

J'ret hesitated.

"If I'm to do for you what you want, you'll have to tell me what's going on inside."

"I didn't like it that you weren't watching. I want you to see it. I would prefer that you do it, but it's important to me that you see it."

"You want to pay me back for making you watch that whipping."

"No! Oh, no! Absolutely not!

But Kirk could see in J'ret's eyes that he knew it was true.

J'ret put his face in his hands. "How could I want such a thing!?"

"When one is hurt, it is a natural reaction to want to return the favor."

"That was the most awful thing I've ever seen! How could I want to do that to you?! You must despise me." J'ret broke down and sobbed.

Kirk dropped to his knees in front of J'ret and gently took his wrists.

"J'ret, look at me, please. I do not despise you. I want to help you. Right now I need to ask your forgiveness."

"What!"

"Hear me out, please. I have greatly damaged your emotions by making you watch that whipping."

"That's crazy!" J'ret scoffed.

"Do you agree that you are still experiencing trauma as a result of that experience?"

"Yes," he reluctantly admitted.

"I desire your forgiveness for causing you this emotional trauma."

"But you - me forgive you - that's backwards!"

"Do you refuse to grant me forgiveness then?" Kirk asked quietly.

"Yes! No! I mean - I don't know! This is a mess!"

"May I pray for you?"

"I guess so, but it's ridiculous! You _can't _want me to forgive you!" J'ret was still in disbelief.

"But I do. Granting forgiveness is a hard thing. Not only must you release the other from accountability for the wrong, you must let go of the pain. Let the Lord wash it away and heal you. If you are willing, I will pray for you."

"Yes, please do."

As Kirk prayed for J'ret, J'rad walked in. Recognizing immediately what was going on, he stood quietly by the door.

"Hallelujah!" he whispered.

Kirk finished praying, and J'ret looked up at him, tears streaming down his face.

"I ask again, will you forgive me for causing your emotional trauma?"

J'ret smiled. "Yes. It's still ridiculous, but yes, I forgive you."

"Thank you, J'ret. That means a lot to me. Thank you very much."

"Can I ask you something? You said granting forgiveness is hard. It didn't seem to be for you."

"I forgave you the moment I realized you were the one I was looking for. I cultivate an attitude of forgiveness all the time. I forgive anybody and everybody, no matter what they do to me. Doesn't matter if they ask for forgiveness, or how many times they repeat the offense. I forgive because it's my nature to forgive. God's love that dwells within me is unconditional and extended to everybody.

"I said forgiveness is hard, because it can be emotionally difficult to let go of pain that is deep-seated. I rarely let pain get that strong a hold on me. But there have been times when I've had to make a conscious choice to let go, to refuse to let it fester, to keep myself from letting anger and bitterness get a hold in my life.

"Are you now able to receive the forgiveness I extend for what you did to me?"

"Yes! I feel so clean, so... so peaceful. There's no more drivenness. Thank you. So very much."

J'rad shifted his feet and was noticed. "I guess we don't need these wands then." He came on into the room, and laid six wands on the floor. "Sorry that took so long. I'm not used to the fact that Watchers aren't always listening. We need a way to call them."

"Communications is on the agenda for tomorrow."

"Sir," J'ret broke in.

"Yes?" Kirk encouraged.

"What did you plan to do with the extra wands?"

"I don't know exactly. Does it matter?"

"Part of what was driving me was the desire to do what you had done. I still do."

"You want me to punish you?"

"No. I want you to stretch me. Rather, I want you to coach me while I stretch myself beyond where I think the limit is."

"Do you understand that you can't get where I am in one day? It takes weeks and months."

"What Spock did only took one day."

"That was based on an intimate knowledge of my history with pain. It was interesting; some of it was challenging; very little of it was stretching me the way you're talking about. And I don't have a whole day to give you. I have three hours. But I'll do what I can in three hours, and if possible, I'll give you another three hours tomorrow night. After that you're on your own. But I want something in exchange."

"What can I do?" J'ret eagerly offered.

"I have ten wounded Watchers. I talked to two of them today, and I think it helped. But they're going to need more than I can give them. Will you talk to them?"

"These are the ten who tried to kill you?"

"Yes. They are hurting badly."

"There are no limits on your forgiveness policy, are there?"

"That's right. God's love is unconditional. Makes no difference what the crime is."

"You've got a deal. I'll talk to them, and try to think like you do while I'm doing it."

"Great. Thank you. That's a real help. Now we have eight wands. J'rad, are you willing to help, or do you need some sleep?"

"I'll help. 2731 said to tell you it'll take awhile to get a message to Spock. Communication is apparently a problem for many."

"Okay, we'll work with what we've got. J'ret, I need you to tell me everything you're thinking and feeling. And keep doing it; don't wait for me to ask. The more information you volunteer, the faster we'll get where we're going. But know this. Whatever you tell me, I'm going to use. So when you tell me that this hurts worse than that, guess what you're getting more of - that which hurts worse.

"Now I have a couple of questions about what you're after. If all I'm supposed to do is find your limit and push you past it, I would not try to teach you how to accept higher levels of pain. Also, I don't personally care how you respond to pain, but I need to know if you want me to teach you how to avoid displaying any reaction. And I suppose if you get really hysterical, we might have trouble proceeding because you're making so much noise. So tell me what you're after."

"I doubt I'll get hysterical, but I don't want you to stop if I do. I definitely want you to teach me, anything and everything. I don't know where the limit is, what it looks like, or what's on the other side. I want to know. But mostly I want to do what you do."

"Okay, that gives me a better picture."

They worked hard for three hours. J'ret made significant progress. Kirk found him easy to work with, since the strain between them had vanished. J'rad was an able helper and needed little instruction.

"Well, our time is up. If you want more, we can meet again tonight."

"I do."

"It's been a pleasure to work with you. I don't have to ask if that stretched you; I know it did, because you told me. You pushed harder than I would have. I've not encountered anyone so eager to be pushed."

"You would have pushed yourself."

Kirk chuckled. "That's true," he admitted. "Okay, next time, full speed ahead."

"Thank you."

"Meanwhile, join me on the arena floor second shift."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Spock and Scotty already had plans well in hand for a planet-wide communications network. The negotiators had only to approve it. The work contract was also approved. Distribution would begin immediately. Chekov estimated three days before the new structure would be in place. The biggest question was the choosing of supervisors, and the transition period. Visits to the home planets were scheduled for the following week.

Kirk spoke with Spock about the cage. After consulting with his people, Spock reported that Kirk could have it. 2731 transported it directly to Kirk's quarters. The morning had been efficient. Kirk had time for two hours sleep before second shift.

J'ret was right on time. He talked to the two Kirk had talked with the day before. He insisted he could talk to them both at once. Kirk didn't argue. He himself spent two hours each with four others. Their problems and responses were all similar. The solutions likewise. He could do the last four the next day, and after that, they were J'ret's problem.

Back in his unit, J'rad reported the work contract had been well-received. Very few problems. J'orn reported the process of choosing supervisors was progressing well. At his urging, they were doing the other units first. Their unit could function in limbo for awhile if it had to.

After a meal, Kirk and J'ret met in Kirk's quarters. They had a full six hours to work with. They were without J'rad, who had more pressing duties that night. Kirk discovered Spock had sent the 50 wands too, already attached to the cage. It was the work of a few minutes to sort out which buttons did what. Then Kirk turned to J'ret.

"I told you that very little of that test stretched me; this cage was one thing that did. J'ret, you don't have to do this. The jump between last night and this is substantial. But I promised you full speed ahead, so if you want this, I'll push you as far as you want to go, and then some."

"I do."

"Then take off your clothes. Put your feet in these holes."

Kirk had to make several adjustments, but Spock had it well-engineered. The adjustments were easy and obvious.

"Okay, I'm going to turn this on one piece at a time. Tell me what this feels like."

Kirk pushed the button that turned on the back grid.

"It's hot, but I wouldn't call it painful. It's not touching the cracks between the plates at all. That's what hurts."

"How about if I turn the dial all the way up."

"That's hot enough to hurt, but I wouldn't call it agony."

Kirk turned it off.

"Okay. I know what the wand does to your hand. What about a fingertip?"

J'ret gasped when Kirk turned on one wand to a fingertip.

"Sorry," J'ret apologized.

"Don't be; just answer the question. Is it worse than the palm of the hand?"

"Yes."

Kirk ran through several more trials and discovered that the fingertips were worst, then the palms; the feet were bad, but not as bad as the hands. Holding the feet to the wands was going to be a real challenge, and turning on more than one thing at once was almost screaming territory.

"Okay. Last chance to back out. We don't have to do this, and I won't think any less of you if you decide not to."

"You wouldn't back out."

"I'm not entirely sane when it comes to this kind of stuff, and I don't judge anybody else by what I would do."

"Jim, I want to do what you do. I want it more than anything else I can think of."

"Okay. The next several hours are going to be the worst agony of your life. Do not expect to maintain any level of control, and don't waste your energy apologizing. Go ahead and use the techniques we talked about last night if you can, but don't be surprised if the intensity of it scatters your wits, and you can't manage to pull it together at all. None of that matters.

"What matters is this. You make the decision now that you will accept everything I do to you, and when it's all over, you remember that decision. Any response you make in the middle of it is not important. You can scream, swear, call me names, whatever. I don't care. But we quit only when I decide to, not when you're screaming that you can't take any more. If you can't trust me to make that decision, then we're not doing this."

"I trust you, with all of it."

Kirk started with the feet, turning on one or two wands at a time. J'ret could handle four on each foot, but with six, he couldn't hold his feet to the wands. So Kirk took off his belt and tied J'ret's feet down. He didn't plan to move slowly enough for J'ret to conquer this challenge. J'ret complained; Kirk just said, "Trust me?" J'ret didn't reply.

Within thirty minutes, Kirk had it cranked up to 13 wands on each foot. J'ret was breathing hard, but that was all. Kirk turned on the random selection generator, and within minutes, J'ret was rigid with tension. Kirk gave him about fifteen minutes of that. He was starting to begin to relax, so Kirk turned on the back grid at maximum intensity. An immediate return to tension. Kirk gave him only ten minutes to get used to that. Then he added the individual wands they'd used the night before, positioning them one by one in the cracks between the plates: two on the back, two behind the knees, and two on the belly. He propped them against the cage frame such that he didn't have to hold them in place. J'ret gasped with surprise, but made no comment.

Kirk went to work on the hands. It took an hour to add all the remaining wands. At the end of it, J'ret was moaning almost constantly, and writhing in agony, his face contorted with pain. The wands behind the knees fell out, and Kirk moved them to the chest, where they were less likely to be dislodged. Then he turned on the random selection generator, which he had turned off when he began on the hands.

J'ret's mouth opened in a silent scream. His body began shaking and twitching. His breathing was very ragged. But the moaning ceased abruptly. Kirk picked up the last two wands and applied them to J'ret's eyes. He screamed. Kirk moved the wands to the mouth and ears, then back to the eyes. J'ret screamed again. Kirk stroked the cheeks and neck, then returned to the eyes. Another scream. Kirk held the wands to the eyes for several minutes. The scream degenerated into sobbing.

He repeated the rotation to other locations. This time there was no scream when he returned to the eyes. Gradually the sobs diminished and disappeared. Kirk propped the wands on the cage frame with the ends lying on J'ret's eyes. If he moved his head, they would be dislodged. J'ret held very still.

Kirk returned to the feet and untied them. J'ret held his feet to the wands. With his head and feet immobile, J'ret gradually ceased all movement. He made no sound, and his breathing was shallow but steady. There was only one more thing Kirk could do. He hit the power switch which turned everything off. Thirty seconds later, he turned it back on.

J'ret screamed. But his feet remained glued to the wands, and those in his eyes stayed put. Two minutes later, Kirk did it again. J'ret screamed again, but had it under control faster. Kirk worked at it another thirty minutes until there was no change in J'ret's response between power off and power on.

"Talk to me." And Kirk continued to press the power switch at random intervals.

J'ret spoke slowly. "What shall I say?"

"Doesn't matter. Just talk."

"You want me to... keep talking until... I can talk... through the change, without pausing... every time you... hit the power switch. I'm... not doing... very well, but I'm not... giving up. I will conquer this. There, that's better; not perfect, but better.

"You're really a very good teacher. Even now, I can hardly believe you did this for me. Thank you, J'im, thank you very much. You can't know how much this means to me. When you do it, you make it seem so effortless. But it's not, is it? It's work, even for you, familiar work maybe, but it's not as easy as you make it look."

"No, it's not. Part of the challenge is to make it look easy, so those watching have no idea how much it costs me. Sometimes, however, they need to know. Then I lay aside my preference and show them what it really feels like."

Kirk turned off the power for the last time.

"Congratulations. You survived it. Actually, you did far more than that. Are you satisfied that you got what you wanted out of this?"

"Yes, more than satisfied. Thank you."

Kirk assisted J'ret in climbing out of the cage. He was a little shaky on his feet. After he got dressed, they sat facing each other in the comfortable chairs.

"Want to talk about it?" Kirk encouraged.

"You surprised me with a couple of things, but mostly, it was exactly what I expected. You never let me get set or comfortable with anything. Just as I was almost there, you changed something, or added something. Is that what Spock did to you?"

"Yes, but I learned it from someone else. Spock learned of it from me, but he knows me well enough to apply it perfectly without practice or discussion."

"Well, you certainly applied it to me very effectively. I don't know how to explain this; the agony was terrible, but at the same time, the whole thing was an absolutely wonderful experience. It was very intense, all of it, and you kept pushing, and I felt stretched and stretched and stretched some more. But it was a good thing - not the agony, but the stretching. I had no idea there was that much stretch in me."

"Neither did I."

"But you didn't let it stop you. I thought when I screamed that you would think that was the limit. In fact, I thought it was."

"It was. It was the limit of what you could take without screaming. But when you're pushed through a limit like that, often you find that the limit moves. It happened again when I turned the power off and back on. At first you screamed, but eventually, you could talk right through it. That's why I told you I wasn't going to stop just because you screamed. Reaching a limit is one thing; pressing through and making it move is quite another."

"J'im, why did you do this for me? I could tell when I first asked that you didn't want to."

"Doing this _to_ you as an act of punishment is far different from doing it _for_ you because you wanted to learn how. Your need to be punished was based in the thinking of a wounded soul. Punishment would not have brought healing, but rather more woundedness. Once your soul was healed, I was free to give you what you wanted."

"But why would you want to? You've spent hours with me, and I don't deserve any of it."

"And why not?"

"Because of what I did to you."

"J'ret, forgiveness includes forgetfulness. I choose not to remember whatever it is you did to me. I will never mention it again, nor will it control my thoughts and attitudes toward you. In time, I really won't remember it. For now, I merely act as if I don't remember it. I recommend you do the same. That being the case, why would you not deserve as much of my attention as anyone else?"

"But you've given me far more attention!"

Kirk sighed. "I did it because the Lord told me to. But I've discovered that you react to pain the same way I do. Besides enjoying the fellowship of someone who understands me, you are in a unique position. So far as I know, you are the only one on this planet likely to react to Watchers the way I do. That could be very useful in the coming days."

xxxx

Two days later Kirk made time to talk to 65. The room 2731 transported him to was a little larger than the ones the Watchers used. He saw a computer, or probably several, that took up most of one wall. There were no other furnishings. 65 turned to greet him. He had two distinctive orange splotches in the midst of a lot of blues. Kirk knew he'd never seen this guy before. Rather, his memory of it was in the lost 30 years. That was what this guy wanted to study.

"Captain Kirk! It's so good to see you again. I know you're very busy. Thank you for taking the time to see me."

"You're quite welcome. I have several hours. But surely you don't want to talk through speakers!"

65 chuckled. "No, I don't. You haven't changed."

"You're not the only one who's made that observation."

Kirk watched 65 approach with two tentacles.

"Only two? Why not four, or eight? Or all 14 if you want. Doesn't matter to me."

"Four is sufficient, but eight would be better, if you're sure you don't mind."

"Of course not. Why should I mind?"

"Two reasons: with just two, I can converse with you, but I cannot read your thoughts, or study that which is below your consciousness. With four I probably can. Eight would give me a duplicate record, and more precise input. It is the difference between a picture in clear focus, and one with dark spots where data is missing. But eight contacts is very painful, and I need at least two hours."

"Eight contacts is not very painful, at least not by my current definition, and you can have four hours if you need it. And if I didn't want you to study, I wouldn't have come. So let's get on with it, okay?"

Without another word, 65 planted eight tentacles on Kirk's head, cutting out sight and sound.

*Captain, are you all right?*

*I'm fine. Why do you keep thinking I won't be?*

*When we met two years ago, the only way you could retain consciousness with this much pain was if the Lord took it. You aren't giving the pain to Jesus. Why not?*

*Because I don't need to. This past year, I spent several months with some people who helped me build up my tolerance for pain. This is now hardly more than a mild annoyance. I could sleep through it.*

*You could? That I would like to see. May I wrap you?*

*Please do. I can't sleep standing up unless I'm very exhausted. And I don't want to disturb your contact by falling over. Wake me up whenever you want.*

65 wrapped Kirk quite thoroughly. Kirk relaxed completely and was asleep in moments. 65 was impressed, but wasted no time collecting data. He worked steadily for over two hours. He made two high-speed tapes for the permanent files. Then he began to study what he was really interested in. How much of who Kirk was had disappeared with the lost memories?

The more he studied, the more impressed with Spock he became. The personality traits and skills were all there, even those that had been developed during the 30 years lost to him. Spock had managed to wipe all the specific memories, while leaving Kirk as a person relatively intact. He wondered how Kirk had coped with it.

He began to study the months Kirk had spent with the Klingons. He discovered Kirk's mind had been wiped three other times. His response to it was fascinating. So was his interaction with Konti and Koh. Kirk's ability to turn enemies into friends was phenomenal. And what he'd said about pain tolerance didn't give a picture of the reality at all. The man was absolutely incredible.

Well, he could study Kirk all day, but that would be abusing the privilege. He had what he needed. Better wake him.

*Captain.*

Kirk was instantly awake, but it took him about 30 seconds to remember where he was.

*65. Thanks for the nap. Did you get what you were after?*

*Yes, I did. Thank you. If you have time, I'd like to ask you a few questions.*

*Sure. Go ahead.*

*Tell me about your perception of the memory loss.*

*It feels like a big gaping hole in my mind. Spock told me it wouldn't ever heal, but I didn't expect it to matter for long. The pain of it is a constant presence, but I seldom think about it. It feels normal. The pain is increased when I'm face-to-face with something or someone I should know and don't. But most of my life this past year has been apart from that which was familiar, so it hasn't been as bad as it might have been.*

*Does your mind process the missing time?*

*If I understand the question, yes. It's not as if one moment I was 16 and the next I was 50. My mind knows of the passage of time. I just don't remember anything that happened during those years. It's different from what the mindsifter did that last time. I felt then as if I really was 16, even though my body was clearly much older. You do know the incident I refer to?*

*Yes. I forgot to ask your permission, but I studied all your recent memories. Had I known what was there, I would have wakened you before proceeding. I'm sorry.*

*Don't be. I expected you to look at all of it. I don't have any secrets. Do you have any other questions? About anything?*

*I could ask questions for hours, but I have the tapes. I know what you did, thought, and felt. Just one more question though. The essence of who you are seems to remain unchanged. Do you find yourself responding to situations the same, or differently? And what do your people say about whether you've changed?*

*My perception is that I'm consistent - no basic change in how I think. Bones said I'm different, but he thinks it's the months with the Klingons, not the memory loss, and he's probably right. I don't know what Spock thinks, but you could ask him. Come to think of it, he told everybody within the first hour that I hadn't changed. He said I was acting like their Captain without knowing I was doing it.*

*I got the report on what you did to J'orn's unit. Classic Kirk in action, from the first day on. I can hardly believe they had you cleaning bathrooms! And I've got footage of that week on the plant floor. The first time I saw it, I was appalled. The second time, I studied you intently. The third viewing, I laughed hysterically. And I've been laughing regularly for most of the last three weeks. That whipping though - did you have to do that?! That really bothered me.*

*How many times did you watch it?*

*I could only stand to watch it once.*

*Watch it again as many times as necessary until you can laugh. Then have a talk with J'ret. Ask him what we did yesterday.*

*J'ret's a very unusual young man. A bit confused though. He seemed to think that whipping was his fault.*

*We got that straightened out. He reminds me a lot of myself. Anyway, I have a question for you. If I had been awake, could I have felt you studying me? When Spock probed my mind, I could feel it.*

*I don't know. My impression was that you would be unaware. But what I was doing was a little different than merely making a tape. So perhaps you would. But I doubt that it would be painless. And I'm still not sure how you can sleep through pain.*

*I developed the skill through weeks of pain-filled exhaustion. Once you know how, it's not difficult. But I'd like to know what it feels like, just because I'm curious. So is there anything else you could study now, while I'm awake?*

*There is one thing I did not look at because I didn't want to disturb your sleep.*

*Why not? I told you to wake me whenever you wanted.*

*Yes, but not that way.*

*Not what way?*

*The thing I wished to study is your pain perceptors. I did not wish to wake you with the application of excruciating pain.*

*It's been done before, lots of times. It's no big deal. But now that I'm awake, you don't have to worry about waking me. So please, study all you want.*

Kirk could sense 65's hesitation.

*Look, I want you to. I'm curious. And the pain is a non-issue, so stop worrying about it, okay?*

Kirk felt 65 slowly move through his mind. It was different than Spock's probe, more like insects crawling. He tried to banish the mental image without success. _Okay, so it feels like crawling insects. So what?_ he admonished himself. At that moment 65 reached the pain perceptors. Kirk's head exploded in agony. 65 immediately backed off. More crawling insects.

*I told you to stop worrying about it.*

So 65 approached again. Crawling insects was starting to feel familiar. When the agony hit, 65 held his ground, and Kirk was able to analyze the pain. Like the mindsifter, it had no physical component. But while the mindsifter was an inexorable grinding, this was more like an exquisite caress. Difficult to quantify on the scale he was used to, the pain was too intense to permit sleep, but not bad enough to knock him out. Conversation was probably possible.

*If you're reading my thoughts, you know what I think.*

*How can you analyze it so dispassionately?*

*It's a habit I picked up working with Koh. Are you getting what you need? I should think you'd want to study it at different levels of pain.*

*This is fascinating! Just in these few minutes, your pain perceptors have reduced the level of pain you feel. Are you aware of it when they do that?*

*Sometimes. Mostly it's automatic. I'm aware that the initial burst of pain feels worse generally than after I've gotten used to it. That's why we did a lot of turning it off and back on again. Try it; you'll see what I mean.*

So 65 backed off, waited about a minute, and then returned.

*I see what you mean, although it's not quite as high as the first time, and it didn't stay there more than a few seconds.*

*The first time with anything gets more response. After that it's not new territory anymore. But you could probably get close to a first response by turning it off and on repeatedly just as fast as you can. But it'd be easier to study if the source of pain was external. Can you provide the pain and study it at the same time?*

*I don't know, but why are you so eager to aid my research?*

*I'm curious. I learned a lot from Koh, but this is an area he had no way to study. It would be great if we could get Spock's cage in here. That's the best external source available on this planet.*

So that's what they did. J'ret came too, and they played with it for over an hour. J'ret insisted he wanted a turn too. 65 confirmed that the same phenomenon was present in J'ret.

"Wow!" was J'ret's comment upon exiting the cage. "Keeping up with you is impossible. You keep stretching your own limits."

Kirk smiled. "At every opportunity."

65 had one more parting comment.

*Captain, you haven't asked, and maybe you haven't thought of it, but I need to tell you. Two years ago I made a tape of your entire life.*

*I knew you had such a tape. Spock told me.*

*The thirty years of lost memories are on that tape. I wish, I desperately wish, that I could take those memories from the tape and give them back to you. But I can't.*

*Spock didn't think you could. He tried to tell me why not, but it doesn't matter.*

*It's because the form the data is in would not effectively translate. It is incompatible with your mind. I'm sorry.*

*65, I appreciate your regret, but it's a decision I made knowing the effects were permanent. Spock still hopes to give me back those memories. But I'm reconciled to the loss. It is not destroying me, nor will it. I don't know what God has for me after this, but I trust Him.*

xxxx

Next rest day, Kirk began to prepare his new friends for the idea that he would be leaving them soon. He told J'orn first, then J'rad. Neither were happy. J'orn understood and accepted it; J'rad didn't understand, but still accepted it.

"You mean, you really are free to leave whenever you want to? You never were a slave then?" J'rad asked.

"Only the top ruling ring knew we weren't slaves. So for all practical purposes, yes, we were slaves. But we were brought here to do a job. It is almost finished, so I expect to be going home soon."

"You've never mentioned your home. Where is it, and how will you get there?"

"Our home is in another galaxy. It will take First's ship about two weeks to get there. But we are used to space travel. It is not a problem."

"We will miss you. _I_ will miss you," J'rad confessed.

"I'll miss you too. I've enjoyed my time here and made several friends. But remember Jesus is your best friend, and He will never leave you."

Under the new structure, J'rad became head supervisor of Kirk's unit. J'orn was the leader of the entire race. The cook retired from political activities and went back to his kitchen. Most of Kirk's elite group became head supervisors, including J'oso and J'rip. J'est was one of the two chosen to go to the home planet with the Watcher delegation. J'ret became special counsel to disturbed Watchers. He also took on the role of assistant researcher to 65. A few of the elite group became liaisons to the other six races. J'orn headed up a council that would deal with planet-wide issues that arose.

The last week they visited each home planet, taking its delegation, and speaking briefly with planetary leaders. Kirk wasn't particularly intrigued by politics. He tried to play his role graciously. Everywhere he went, he was treated with honor. Many claimed he had accomplished the successful mutiny single-handedly. He understood their need for a hero, but he was not entirely comfortable with the role.

They left after a last rest day meeting. It took all day to get out of there however. After the usual meeting in Kirk's unit, he discovered someone had organized a planet-wide party in his honor. He was required to make speeches to all the units of his race, and then to all the units of all the other races as well. When he didn't think he could take much more, they informed him he was to speak in the arena to all of the former Watchers, and then again to a fair sampling of the entire planet.

When they finally boarded First's ship, Kirk was exhausted. He looked around at the six others.

"I don't mind telling you today was the hardest day of the entire mission. I don't think I have one more speech in me, even a short one."

"Jim, you need some sleep. We have two weeks to debrief. It can wait til tomorrow."

Kirk gave McCoy no argument, and was sound asleep within five minutes.

The next afternoon they gathered for debriefing. It began with a meal. Sulu and Chekov made a great show of serving Kirk as if he was royalty. He tried to ignore it and concentrate on eating. He knew McCoy was watching him. He had not been nearly as diligent about his eating habits as McCoy would have wished. And undoubtedly he would get chewed out at the first medical exam.

Sulu and Chekov kept it up with straight-faced seriousness for most of half an hour. Clearly, ignoring it was not going to make them stop. Surely they did not think he really deserved such treatment. Or worse yet, were they upset at all the attention he had received, while they got virtually none? The longer it went on, the more uncomfortable he got. Were they teasing him? They must be. If they were really upset, they wouldn't be doing this, would they?

He looked around at the others. Spock appeared to be ignoring the proceedings. Scotty's eye held a twinkle; Uhura's face showed sympathy. McCoy was analyzing his condition. All were waiting to see what he would do. He had a sense that this was a test. He remembered what they had said about teasing. He was supposed to laugh. But he felt embarrassed, flustered, and confused. Laugh anyway.

Okay. What was there about this that was funny? If they were teasing, they must know how much he disliked being made much of. If he got angry, or even annoyed, he flunked the test. Suddenly he realized that they felt comfortable enough to risk doing this. They trusted him. Back to the question. This was funny because he really was embarrassed. He made a conscious choice to laugh at himself. Then he let himself feel thoroughly embarrassed for several minutes, and he let it show. Once it was clear to all how embarrassed he felt, he started chuckling. And it was not nervous anxiety, but genuine laughter. He let it build into a sustained belly laugh, and the rest of them joined him, even Spock.

After they calmed down and cleared the meal away, Kirk looked Sulu in the eye.

"What do you really think of all that hoop-la, hero-worship stuff?"

Sulu grinned. "Better you than me, sir."

"Ve know you hate it, Keptin, but you certainly earned it this time."

"Earned it?! But you all did as much or more than I. And I couldn't have succeeded in my unit without significant help from several people. They don't really think I did this all by myself, do they? And even if they do, certainly you know better?!"

"Calm down, Jim. Yes, we know you had help. We also know that without you, it probably wouldn't have happened," McCoy stated.

Kirk started to protest again.

"Here me out. What Chekov is referring to is certain spectacular displays of typical Jim Kirk behavior. Tell me this. When you were planning that whipping, did you care if the whole planet was watching?"

"I hoped they would be."

"What about Spock's test?"

"I didn't care. Spock's race was the audience. Everybody else was already committed."

"There were some other things too, but those were the biggies. They focused the entire planet on one James Kirk. And they conveyed the intensity and depth of your commitment to forbid killing, even of those who had tried to kill you. So it's not surprising that they view the success of the mutiny as your doing."

"But-"

"Jim, why are you so uncomfortable taking credit for what you did? You don't mind the whole planet seeing you get beat half to death, but you don't like the conclusions they came to as a result."

"I wanted them to see how terrible violence can be. I wanted them so sickened by the sight that they would do whatever was necessary to avoid it in the future. I forgot to factor in what they would think about me personally. I'm embarrassed that they think it took great courage to face that. They talk about my will-power as if it's a mystical force. I try to tell them it cost me nothing, and they simply don't believe me. Do you?"

Kirk fixed McCoy with an intent gaze.

"I believe you were neither afraid of it, nor angry with those who did it to you. It cost you nothing emotionally, but physically, it was definitely not nothing. I was not surprised at your determination or your stamina. But before it was done, I wondered if we'd be trying to raise you from the dead. Jim, it was awful. I've seen some nasty injuries, but nothing worse than this. More serious, yes, but nothing visually like this. I hope you never have occasion to do that again."

"I'm sorry, Bones. But thanks for telling me the truth."

Others expressed similar sentiments. Then Kirk looked at Spock.

"When those who know you best are appalled, you may be sure that you are stretching the limits of what they will tolerate. However, in spite of their vehemence, they would find a repetition easier to accept. Just as I find it easier to abuse you the more times I do it." Spock's quiet admission was not intended to evoke a reaction.

Which didn't keep Kirk from doing so. "Spock! I thought we talked about that."

"We did. And I understand that you have given me blanket permission to do so, but that does not change the facts of what I have done to you. Just as the facts of the whipping are not altered by your memory of it. Your memory of the event does not include any pain. That does not mean it wasn't painful. You know that it was, but your mind selects what to remember."

They talked about Kirk for two hours. Then he steered the conversation toward others. They began to share what had gone on in their own struggles to win the trust of their assigned race. They shared with transparency and considerable detail. Finally they asked Kirk for a blow-by-blow description of what he had done. So he gave it to them, with complete transparency. All in all, they talked for the better part of three days.

Then Kirk spent about a week in conversation with First and the others who'd come along. 46 was to replace 29 as ambassador. It was hoped that he could shed light on the problems R&D were having with their strange technology. Kirk began to focus his thoughts on their own galaxy, and what awaited him upon their return. He spent several days in earnest prayer, and finally reached an uncomfortable conclusion.


End file.
